Death by Desire

Why the fuck not, indeed.

I glanced at the drawer I’d just closed, breathless that I’d nearly taken that leap over the edge….if Orion hadn’t called, who knows the state I’d have been in by now.

My hero, I thought and silently chuckled at the thought of him in a cape and tights, hands on his hips and chest puffed out in a superman-esque pose.

I got up to pace my room; this conversation was making me anxious and all the butterflies that just now decided to take up residence in the pit of my stomach were restless.

“You still there?” Orion mumbled into my ear and I blushed.

He sounded as nervous as I felt- who would have thought?

“Yea…I’m here.” I whispered, and then cleared my throat.

“So…..?” he said and the question hung in the air, obvious and unavoidable.

A flush of heat rushed through my body, and I steadied myself against the wall to cope with the light-headed feeling I was experiencing. Orion Fiamma had done the unthinkable and laid it out all on the line. He wanted me. Not Pippa, not anyone else in the school, but me.

I tapped my fingers against my thigh and ran my fingers through my hair, a little rougher than was necessary. Taking a deep breath I nodded.

“Ok.”

There was a second of silence on his end of the line that felt like an eternity, and then he spoke.

“Ok? Like, yes, ok?”

I could almost see the smile on his face, smug and cocky and adorable as fuck. The butterflies flapped furiously inside of me and I sat back down, trying not to smile like an idiot even though he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway.

“Yes, like yes, ok.” I said.

There was a rustling on the other end, and then the sound of a car engine turning on.

“Can I go over? I want to see you saying ‘yes’” Orion said.

The way he said that had goosebumps erupting on every inch of skin on my body. My mind flashed to my grandmother, if I knew her as well as I did, she’d be in her room overworking herself to forget what I’d just told her.

“Sure. But, things aren’t the greatest right now, so you’ll have to come in through the window.”

He muttered a “Ok” and the line went dead.

I paused for a second and then sprung into action, racing into the bathroom for a quick shower and emerging minutes later, rolling on deordorant with one arm and getting dressed with the other. I threw on a pair of black yoga pants and a soft-gray pullover sweater and combed my hair into it’s natural, loose waves. Slapping moisturizer onto my face, I quickly curled my lashes and left it at that. Just as I’d slid my feet into a pair of thick, fuzzy socks my cell rang.

“Hello?” I answered. The line went dead and there was a sharp tap against my window.

Fucker.

I walked over, pushed the curtain aside, and lifted the screen. Orion stood below, arm cocked with another pebble ready to launch.

“Stop that!” I hissed. “I don’t want my grandma on my ass!”

He smirked, dropped the pebble, and then followed my finger to the tree whose branches conveniently led to my bedroom window. Shimmying up quicker than I would have imagined for a guy like him, he dropped into my bedroom and leaned against the wall- shyly I noticed.

It was cute, seeing him in this more vulnerable state. I raised an eyebrow and perched on the edge of my bed, nervous as well but I’d be damned if I showed it.

He moved towards me and I tensed.

Shit. This was actually happening.

“So?’ he asked, in a low voice.

I swallowed hard and then looked up at him through m y lashes.

“So, yes” I whispered.

He exhaled and his arms wrapped around me, gently hesitant, cautious, as a child does when he or she fears something of value will be suddenly taken from them.

I relaxed against him, breathing in the scent of him, not wanting to have to move away from this little bubble of happiness that was now surrounding me. My head tilted up towards his face and our eyes met.

His were dark with- desire?

I blinked and in that split second he was so close our lips were barely grazing each others. My eyes fluttered close and I let out a tiny exhale. He sucked in a breath and then his lips met mine and my knees went weak as I took him in completely.

He was mine. Orion Fiamma wanted me.

His tongue sought mine, gently parting my lips, probing but not pushing. He led me down to the bed but did not go any farther than to wrap his hands more tightly in my hair, holding me closer to him. Minutes later, we separated and all I could do was blush, for once shyly and not angrily, in his presence.

“This is it” he whispered.

I nodded and he drew me to him once more, my head on his chest, his hands stroking my hair. Now it was us against the world.

Hours later, as the sun began to light the horizon, I snuggled in closer to Orion, giving him a light peck on the cheek.

“What about school? The staring? The whispers?”

He laughed and intertwined his hands with mine, kissing my palms.

“You can handle that, can’t you?” he asked.

I shook my head.

How little he knew of my insecurities.

“No. I can’t. I mean, not when I’m feeling like I’m underneath a microscope, every move scrutinized not for cause to be replicated but for gossip. I just can’t deal with that right now.”

He nodded.

“Well, how about we just play it off casually? Put on the friend front? If they talk, they talk.”

I turned his words over in my mind. That could work…

“But” he said “if you’re not comfortable with anything, you have to let me know. No putting up your guard, no blocking me out, no pretending everything is ok when it’s not. I want this to work, but I can’t be on the outside looking in.”

I took a deep breath, letting the air escape slowly from my tightly pursed lips. How strange this all was. Unfamilar. Now I knew what the term “leap of faith” meant.

“what about Pippa?” I asked.

His expression went grim. “Let me deal with her.” he said, and then kissed me quickly separating himself from me, heading to the window. We had an hour until school began.

“I’ll be back to pick you up” he said and then disappeared into the branches, off onto the wide lawn, into his car, and off into the distance.