Death by Desire

This was going to be different. Everything I thought I knew about myself was shifting now, I wasn't even sure if it was for the better. All I knew was I was becoming someone I didn't know. When would I ever put myself on the line and risk my feelings? I used to think I would never have done that but Iris had a funny way of changing that.

When Iris looked up at me with those eyes of hers, warm and safe in my arms, I was sure that second guessing myself was stupid. This was something I knew I wanted to do. She would be worth this risk. Because if Pippa found out, well, hell hath no fury right?

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As we walked into the gates of our school side by side, while powerful, we received many strange glances. The most frequent of all the glances was that of surprise.

I saw by her uncomfortable scowl, that Iris wasn't used to having this many prying eyes on her. Having the attention of lust-filled perverts, now that was a different story. My fists almost wanted to clench at the thought of someone taking advantage of her; or trying to at least. Iris was definitely a fighter. I felt the start of a smirk on my face, some freshman girls watching me giggled as they clutched their books.

Iris darted her eyes to me, clearly not in approval. I smirked at her, my smile bright and warm trying to remind her that they were only curious. Iris took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as she closed her eyes and nodded her head.

"It's only a few hundred people." I teased her quietly, adjusting my dark denim jacket and brushing some stray hair off my white shirt, the need to please the masses was strong.

Whatever calm she had achieved had wavered. I smiled at her reassuringly. I didn't really realize that while she was always talked about because of her beauty, she wasn't exactly popular like Pippa and I were. I wondered how Pippa would react when she heard Iris and I were hanging out together.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Iris stopped walking, pulling me to a halt as well. She spoke in hushed tones, anxiously glaring at the people who were staring. They were more than beginning to murmur as well. Even some security guards had begun to talk amongst themselves. Jesus, was nothing sacred in this school?!

"Iris, we're just hanging out together." I noticed more people were staring and whispering. "Let them gossip! A 'friendship' is between two people, yes?" Iris cast her eyes uncharacteristically down at her feet.

Placing my index and middle finger under her chin, I lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes that were usually cold and sure, shimmered in uncertainty.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm a little nervous too. " I confessed, I felt my face flush slightly in embarrassment.

"Because your precious popularity will be fucked I'm sure." she muttered darkly. I tried to read her now but felt like I hit a wall, her entire being was opaque as she regained some confidence.

"That's not fair, we agreed that you wouldn't close up like that. "

Slowly, almost unnoticeably Iris relaxed her shield. Her guard was coming down for me and that was a huge thing. As for our agreement, we would get to know each other, figure out our attraction, and Iris would try not to shut me out and I would spend less time on my high horse.

Not that I even had a high horse to begin with. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Iris sighed, straightening her back while managing a small smile.

Shrugging, I started to walk forward again, hoping she'd follow me further into the judgmental hell hole we called school.

Luckily she did, it was nice knowing I would have a different kind of partner now, even if I felt silly thinking she was my "partner". When I really thought about it though, a title has never suited anyone more perfectly.

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In all my classes, I found it incredibly hard to stay focused. Not like that was new, but I found I could only concentrate on my dad.

You thought I was obsessed with Iris, didn't you?

No, but it took me the quiet of this class to realize my family was kind of fucked. Well, truth be told, we were really fucked.

I was going to have a sibling young enough to be my own kid. I know I'm young but let's be honest, teens having kids are way more common than a 40 something year old having a bastard child with his secretary.

My teacher droned on and on, oblivious to the half of the class that was sleeping .

Glancing down, I realized I had been scribbling in my notebook more than usual. I was also way more fidgety.

I needed some kind of release.

In the past, sex and alcohol would have been perfect but I had to be smart about this. Since I was dating someone, I couldn't just go look for a random sex partner and I also couldn't look to Iris. She would think all I wanted from her was sex.

"Psst."

Jumping slightly, I looked for whoever hissed at me.

It was a girl about a year younger than me. Cute, nice tits, but an airhead.

I raised my eyebrows expectedly.

"Your party was great, are you gonna have another one?" She whispered, pressing her arms together so her boobs would be squeezed closer.

I'm sure she wanted me to notice. Well, I did. I wasn't impressed.

"Thanks. Weren't you the girl giving blow jobs in my backyard?" I mumbled, only half serious.

Her cheeks turned a bright red as she darted her eyes to the floor eager to escape my curious eyes. This girl slumped in her chair and didn't talk to me the rest of class.

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By lunch I felt just about ready to ditch school all together. The better man in me knew I couldn't afford to disappoint my mom anymore. Her sanity probably couldn't withstand that.

My locker was surrounded by people waiting for me to come engage them, beyond eager to revel in my campus popularity. Among the crowd I saw my friend, Erick.

The star quarterback was relieved to see me, he shoved by people as he hit them impatiently with his crutches.

"What the hell happened to you?" I laughed as I patted his back then continued to unlock my locker.

"Eh, it's a small sprain. I have to stay off it for a few weeks." Erick had a slight accent from the south where he lived the first few years of his life. The females of the school loved it and in response the football coach called him Tex even though he was from Louisiana.

"I bet Stephanie was mad. It means you'll be in crutches for the big dance." I made the exchange of books and proceeded to push past people with Erick at my side.

"Yeah, she was plenty mad but she understands. What about Pip? I hear you two are on the rocks." I waited as Erick delicately made his way down a small flight of stairs.

"People have been hearing a lot of things these days. Don't tell me you think me and Pippa are a thing. C'mon, not you too man!" I grumbled, leading my friend to a small line where grilled burgers were sold.

"I don't believe shit until I hear it from you. What's the deal bubba?" Erick drawled, buying a burger and trying to juggle his crutches and the little tray of food.

Sighing, I took his tray and assembled his burger, balancing my tray a helluva lot easier than he could.

"It's complicated." I managed, not being able to get out anymore when he began roaring with laughter. It was a good thing he was leaning against a wall, his crippled ass would have toppled over otherwise.

"Damn, I knew you were in trouble!" he coughed out, clutching his side.

Scowling, I came ridiculously close to throwing his burger and fries away.

"Let's talk in my car or something." I growled, stacking our trays and walking quickly to the parking lot, choosing to ignore my limping friend.

When at last we were situated in my car, I told him everything he had missed.

Luckily for me, Pippa wasn't my only closest friend. Plus with Erick I wouldn't have to worry about him growing any feelings for me.

When I was done with my whole story, Erick scratched at his head like he was as stumped as I was.

"I sure as hell would be scared of Pip. I saw her today in Biology and she was mad enough to spit. Lord only knows what she was thinking. That girl was quiet the whole time. " Erick shook his head in awe.

Sighing again, I let myself slump in my seat.

"I can't fucking deal dude. Let's go smoke or something." I wasn't one to smoke weed but all this fucking girl drama was getting to me.

Erick realized this as soon as I said it.

"Stop being a big bitch. Shit is hard but you owe it to Iris to be a man and stand up to your friend." Erick's blue eyes were hard in his beliefs. Sometimes I was surprised he was such a good guy.

"Let's get out of here before you decide to kiss me." I quipped, needing the help of my sarcasm to deal. Facing reality wasn't something I wanted to do but I would suck it up.

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