Death by Desire

I couldn't really defend myself. If I was a witness to a rape and did nothing about it, what did that say about me? My head was killing me at the thought. Yeah I had been drunk. That night was also the first time I had tried ecstasy but that was beyond the point. I was glad that at the very least, that asshole Hunter was in prison.

The leather of my steering wheel slipped sensually against my hand as I turned left onto a familiar street. I was heading to Pippa's house. I wasn't even sure why. We had been friends so long, she was my comfort in many ways. I regret having sex with her. Not just because I took advantage but because she seemed to think I wasn't interested in Iris anymore. I parked in front of Pippa's beautiful home. Turning off my car, I wondered if I should try to reconcile with her.

I pulled out my phone, unlocking the device and searching for the number but I couldn't allow myself to call her. I understood she had feelings for me but I could't be ok with the fact that she was telling Iris to stay away from me. I didn't have any commitment to Pippa.

I thought more and more about it, even looked through pictures on my phone. Pippa and I from two years ago when we went to Vegas with my parents before I discovered my father was having an affair with his secretary. How cliche right?

Another picture of smiles from Pippa's sweet sixteen. She had wanted to dance with me all night. I frowned. Even then did she have feelings for me? Was I always so blind to her? I sighed and continued to scroll through my gallery. I saw myself dressed in a suit and Pippa in a sparkly pink dress, raising red cups to my phones lens. It was last year's Winter Wonderland dance. Pippa wanted to be the Snow Queen but was only in the court as a princess.

" 'Snow queen or not you're still a cold bitch.' " I quoted myself from that night and smirked.

Maybe Pippa was only looking out for me. It wasn't right for me to just turn my back on her. I made my way to the home screen on my phone and just as I was about to call my best friend. She was calling me.

"Hello?" I answered, feeling creepy since I was parked in front of her house as night was quickly approaching.

"Hey.. I'm sorry about what I said." she squeaked quietly, I'm sure twirling her hair in front of her face.

I sighed, "Don't worry about it. Hey how about we hang out tonight? Watch some stupid movie and order pizza like we used to." I thought it'd be pointless to be mad. Truth is, Iris wasn't my girlfriend. Pippa was my partner in crime.

There was some rustling on the line. "I would love to, but I have to do something tonight. Maybe we can skip school and have tomorrow for ourselves?" she sounded hopeful. That was good enough for me.

"Sure doll. See you tomorrow." I was about to click off but I heard her inhale to speak.

"I love you." Pippa threw it out there like she desperately needed to hear it back.

I paused but answered back, "Love you too, Pip." I hung up.

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The drive home was like I was on autopilot. I came out of my trance when I shifted into park in front of my garage. By the time I opened my front door, I had realized that my house wasn't empty. The smell of pasta and garlic bread greeted me warmly. For a moment, I wondered if I was even in the right house.

"Mom?" I called, about to reach for my jacket but I remembered I had given it to Iris at the cemetery.

"Hey sweetie, how was your day?" She called back, strangely sweet. I was getting more and more confused, the deeper I walked into my house.

I reached the kitchen and leaned on the doors post. My mom had made her famous Alfredo with seafood and chicken to add into it. A large salad was being made on a counter and by the smell of the house, she was making garlic bread.

"It was fine. Um mom, did someone die or something? What's up with all this food? And weren't you supposed to be out of town?" I scratched at my neck, a nervous twitch I had since I was a kid as I watched her fuss over the meal.

She chopped some onions and laughed her laugh that meant she was nervous too.

"Your father is coming home. You know he loves my pasta. He called me when I was two states over and said he was coming over tonight and I had to come." She looked at her watch and checked on her bread. It was golden brown. At last she tore herself away from her food and looked at me.

"Oh honey, you look so handsome. When did you get so grown up?" She came up to my chest in height, reached up and gave me a soft caress on my cheek. My mother only said these things when she took a break from her hectic life to actually look at me.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that if my father wanted to meet with her, it wouldn't be a joyous thing.

My parents haven't lived together since my mother and I caught him fucking his secretary in our dining room. That was two years ago and still my mom holds some kind of torch for him. She thinks he'll get tired of his secretary and come home to us. I know that such a thing isn't the case. I think the only reason they haven't divorced is because they want to keep up our whole 'perfect family' charade.

"Food smells great, mom. " I smiled for her, warm and loving for once. I usually treated her coldly and like a stranger. Visiting Iris's parents today made me grateful I even had someone to call my mom.

She beamed and tried to fix her hair. "Go get washed up for dinner. Your father is supposed to be here any minute." She ruffled my hair and pushed me from the door frame.

The walk up to my bathroom was a heartbreaking one. Whatever was going to happen tonight wouldn't be good.

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It was an hour before my father decided to show up. My mom didn't mind. Her husband was finally back home. He stiffly embraced her and when he realized my height was no longer equal to his, he gave me a cold hand shake. My mother had the table set so all we had to do was usher ourselves to the table. The same one my father fucked a slut on. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the insanity of it all.

We were barely eating salad, in silence, when my father cleared his throat. "I can't beat around the bush anymore. Maria, I want us to divorce." He wiped at his mouth with a napkin and rested his hands on the table. This didn't surprise me but my mom, she looked like she had just taken a bit of something crunchy that should be soft and sweet.

I placed down my fork and ran a hand through my hair. Readying myself for what was to come. I expected hysterics but my mother was silent still, picking at her salad and nibbling on a piece of cucumber. My dad and I shared confused glances.

"Maria, I want to-"

My mother raised her hand to stop him. "I heard you, Fernando." She said in a voice so steely, I knew my mother was back to the stern woman I had been living with.

It was quiet a moment longer. "Diana is pregnant and I want us to marry before the child is born." My dad announced.

"Diana is the whore you fucked on this table, right?" My mother asked as she took a sip of her deep red wine.

I coughed to cover my laughter. Nothing was more satisfying than seeing my father squirm from discomfort.

He adjusted his tie and turned a bright red. "I will not fight for custody of Orion since he is accustomed to his life here and will be a man soon. When he is ready, he can move to my home in Malibu."

I felt trapped. At school, I was the master of my fate, I exuded that everywhere I went. Yet here I was, at a dinner table, listening to my parents talking about where I would be staying and what was best for me.

"Fernando, I want you out of my house. I will give you you're fucking divorce but I want you out." My mother used her stern and strong principal voice.

My dad made a motion that said he was going to speak more but I stood from the table and pulled him by his Armani suit coat. "She said she wants you out." I stated calmly as I hauled my father to the door.

"I'm leaving." My father huffed and fixed his suit. Before he stepped off our porch he paused to stare into my eyes that unfortunately, mirrored his own. "Orion, you are my son. You are my legacy. Know that you always have a job at my company whenever you want it."

My blood boiled, I wanted to punch that smug smirk off his face but I didn't. I knew I had to be the adult in this situation.

"Do us a favor. Go to hell." I stared Fernando Fiamma dead in his eyes until the door slammed shut.