Changing on the Fly

I waited on Max’s couch the entire night not sleeping an ounce because of how worried I was about Ciara. It’s weird to think that just the other day I hated Ciara and now I am staying up all night waiting and worrying for her to get home.

Around 7:30 Ciara walked in wearing someone else’s clothes. Once I looked past her clothes and say the look on her face I felt horrible, Ciara took a glance at Max and I before just completely breaking down.

“Ciara are you ok?” I asked her as I ran over to her and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I am so stupid Sid.” She told me. “I don’t know why I slept with him. I didn’t want to sleep with him but my mom just got me so pissed off that I lost control of myself.” She said crying more than she thought she could.

“Ciara, we all make mistakes.” Max said coming over to us.

“But this went against everything I believed in. I never wanted to lose myself to a one night stand.” She said.

I cleared his throat my throat trying figure out if what she meant was the same thing I was thinking of. “Does that mean you were a?” I asked not able to finish the statement. She just nodded and continued to cry.

“Shhh, it’s ok, you’re going to be ok, and you have us.” I whispered into her ear. “Do you want to go take a shower?” I asked knowing she would want to get rid of any remnants of last night off of her as soon as possible.

“I feel like a slut.” She told me as I started to grab some clothes for her to wear. I couldn’t even believe my ears.

“Ciara, you are the farthest thing from a slut.” I said making her look at me. “Now go take a shower and clean off the memories of last night and then we can talk if you would like too.”

“Thanks Sid.” She told me.

“Anything for you, Ciara.” I said honestly as I kissed her forehead for comfort. But when I kissed her forehead I felt this need to actually kiss her.

Once she got in the shower I made my way back to the living room.

“Is she ok?” Max asked as soon as I set foot in the room.

“Not really, no.” I told him.

“What can I do to help?” he asked just as worried about her as I was.

“If you could go out and get her, her favorite breakfast that would be great.” I told Max knowing Ciara would need food this morning to help with her hang over.

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a half hour. Max said grabbing his coat and keys. I went back to Ciara’s room to wait for her to get out of the shower.

Max came back and gave me Ciara’s breakfast and some for me. Another half hour had passed and Ciara was still in the shower which caused me to become even more worried than I already was.

I waited another 15 minutes when Max had to leave to go do some press and fan stuff before I knocked on the bathroom door.

“Ciara, are you ok?” I asked but I didn’t hear any response. The worst possible situations went through my head. I kicked in the door because I wanted to make sure she didn’t kill herself.

“Ciara?” I questioned again looking around the bathroom. I heard sobs over the shower that was still running.

I walked over to the shower and cautiously pulled back the curtain. There was Ciara sitting in the tub with her head on her knees just crying.

Grabbing the towel off of the hook I reached in a turned off the now ice cold water. Wrapping the towel around her I picked her up so that she was standing. She stopped crying and just stared off into space.

“Come on Ciara, you need to get dressed.” I encouraged as she continued to just stand in the tub.

Figuring out she wasn’t going to move anytime soon I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her out of the tub, placing her gently on the bathroom floor. She continued to just stare kind of like she just went numb.

“Ciara, come on say something.” I pleaded with her, starting to worry even more. She didn’t respond so I grabbed her shirt and slipped it over her head noticing she was shivering.

“Ciara, you need to put your pants on.” I said feeling awkward helping her put her clothes on. But she still didn’t do anything. So I put my own embarrassment away and put her pants on for her without taking off the towel.

Once she was dressed I pulled her into her room and got her into the bed, to get warm. I had no idea what else to do. I kissed her on the forehead before leaving her room in order to get the chocolate chip muffin that Max got her earlier.

Completely worried about Ciara, I called the only person, who I thought could help.

“Hello Sidney.” My mom answered happily.

“Hi Mom.”

“Sidney, baby what’s wrong?” she asked immediately picking up on my tone instantly. I just told her the entire story.

“Oh honey, it sounds like she is really hurting.”

“She is mom, and it is hurting me to see her this way. She is always so strong I just don’t know what to do to help her.” I told her honestly.

“All you can do is be there for her, get her to eat and try to get her to talk. I have a feeling she has more that is bothering her than what she has told you.”

“I will Mom.” I stated.

“She is a good person Sid, she doesn’t deserve to have a mom like hers.”

“I know, mom.”

‘Take care of her honey. I love you.”

“Love you too.” With that I hung up and walked back to Ciara’s room noticing she was in the same position I left her in.

“Hey Ciara, I know you don’t want to do or say anything right now but you need to eat” I said placing the muffin on the bed in front of her face she didn’t move.

“Since you won’t talk, I will.” I paused looking at her, hoping she would say something, anything. “I know that last night wasn’t something that you wanted to happen and now you think you are a slut. Ciara you are the furthest person from a slut. All that last night proves is that you are just a mere human like the rest of us.” I finished hoping it would spark something in her.

“If you need anything I will be right in the living room.” I said about to leave.

“Sid, can you stay with me?” Ciara whispered.

“Of course I can.” I said sitting down on the bed so I could lean up against the head rest. Ciara turned over so she was facing me.

“Do you mind if you hold me?” Ciara mumbled turning bright red. I just slid down and held her against me.

*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87

I didn’t know how long I laid there holding her but what I did know was that she needed it.

“Do you know what hurts the most?” Ciara asked me at one point.

“What?”

“It’s not the fact that I had sex, it’s not the fact that I had one night stand for my first time. The worst part is that I don’t remember anything from last night after dancing with Jordan. I don’t remember my first time.” She admitted starting to tear up again. I started to rub her back comfortingly.

“You don’t remember anything else?” I questioned and she nodded her response.

“I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and no knowing where I was. Then I saw Joshua in bed with me and I freaked out and rushed here. But it wasn’t until I got her when it finally hit me what I actually did.”

I didn’t know how to respond so I just continued to rub her back.

“Thank you Sid. You didn’t have to do this.”

“That’s what friends are for.” I said kissing her head.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Ciara asked her voice still sounding extremely sad.

“Whatever you want to do.” I told her giving her a tight squeeze. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV finding a Boy Meets world marathon on.

We sat and watched Boy Meets World for the rest of the day. I got Ciara to actually eat something but I knew she was not herself and it was going to take her a while to get back to her normal self.

*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87

“By looking at Ciara’s stats tonight you would think she had a normal game, but that is not the case.” Jack said during the postgame show.

“No something is off, her passes weren’t as crisp as they usually are. They were sloppy for her and the goal she had looked like complete luck.” John said agreeing with Jack.

“It just goes to show that even the best of the best have off days.”

*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*

After a big win against the caps everybody was in high spirits except for Ciara. For the past couple of weeks she has become very withdrawn. The normal take no shit from anyone, joking around, always laughing and smiling girl has been replaced by a pod person.

Ever since the first day she barely said a word to anyone.

“Let’s go party!” Geno yelled, everyone agreed but Ciara.

“Come on Ciara, come out with us, we can dance again.” Jordan tried to convince her.

“No that’s ok.” She said looking down at her hands.

“Please” he begged giving her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. “you are the best dance partner I have ever had.”

“Not tonight” Ciara said denying him again.

“How about you Sid?” Jordan said turning his attention to me.

“I actually drove Ciara today, besides I am wiped.” I said making an excuse. “You guys go have fun, but not too much fun, we do have practice tomorrow.”

“Yes, captain.’ My teammates chorused as Ciara and I left the locker room.

Even though Ciara hasn’t talked to anyone, we have hung out more. When we weren’t playing or making appearances we were either at my place or her place watching movies, or TV.

“Can we go to your place?” Ciara asked once we got into my Escalade.

“Yup, where do you want to get food?” I asked Ciara just as I pulled out of the parking lot, Ciara just shrugged.

I pulled into her favorite restaurant trying to use any possible thing I could to get her to talk more than just a few meaningless words.

*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87

For the past couple of weeks I felt nothing just numb, the only time that I would feel anything at all was when I was with Sidney.

But even then I didn’t feel even close to my normal self. I wouldn’t talk to anyone unless spoken to directly even then it was usually one or two word answers. I knew I was really starting to worry Sid but I couldn’t figure out how to get myself out of this funk.

“Yup, where do you want to go to eat?” Sid asked me. I really didn’t care because I probably wouldn’t eat much anyway, so I just shrugged my shoulders. Sidney just drove and I stared off into space until the car came to a stop in front of my favorite restaurant.

“I’ll get your usual.” Sidney said before he got out of the car. As soon as he entered the restaurant my phone started to ring but it was a number I didn’t know so I didn’t answer. If it was someone important they would leave a message.

“So I was thinking about watching Old School tonight is that ok?” Sid asked.

“Yeah” I said surprising him by saying something.

“Ciara” he said seriously as he pulled me down onto the couch. “I know you don’t want to talk about it or talk about anything but your scaring me and the rest of the team. The usual very extroverted, energetic girl everyone loves has been replaced by a sad depressing one who hasn’t spoken more than 10 words to anyone. I know this is how you are trying to deal with it but it is unhealthy and I absolutely hate seeing you like this.”

“I am sorry Sid.” I said not knowing what else to say.

“I know you are and I know you don’t know what to do but know that I will always be right here for you.” He told me and then for the rest of the night we just sat and watched Old School in comfortable silence until a banging on the door got our attention.

“Max what are you doing here?” Sid said once he answered the door then he looked at someone else and his body language changed. “What is he doing here?” he bit off.

“He needs to speak with Ciara.” Max said barging in with Joshua behind him.

“I don’t think that is a good idea.” Sid said walking over to me and standing in between me and Joshua.

“Trust me on this Sid let him speak.” Max pleaded. Sid turned and looked at me.

“He has a minute.” Sid said sternly.

“Ciara, I am so sorry about that night.” Joshua started “But what you think happened didn’t actually happen.”

“What do you mean?” Sid asked.

“Well when we got back to my place, we were going to have sex we were really close but I couldn’t hold my bladder anymore. When I came out of the bathroom Ciara was passed out so I just covered her up and fell asleep next to her.” Joshua said looking straight at me.

“So we didn’t have sex?” I asked.

“No.” he said simply. But no matter how simple that word was I felt like I could breathe again.

Sid pulled me and a hug and spun me around. I was so happy I didn’t even notice when Max and Joshua left.

“I have missed that smile.” Sid said to me.

“What this smile.” I joked as I smiled back.

“Yes that smile.” He said leaning in and kissing me catching me by surprise.