Yesterday's Feelings

A couple of weeks after the breakfast incident, John and Eric headed out for the snowboard season. It was still pretty early. Actuallly, really early. It was only September but they had shoots, testing, getting all their gear in order, sponsor visits, and just a ton of things on their plates so my adventures in being with two children began. I was thankful that Dani was in school but Eli I had to stick in daycare (begrudgingly against Eric's wishes) but with working full-time, I didn't have a choice.

The accusation that day in the kitchen was never really talked about before Eric left. We just let things hang in the air; Awkward, almost tense. As much as I like my house, as I babysat Eli, I realized that it was easier to just be at John and Eric's. All his things were there, the house was familiar to me, familiar to Dani. With the boys gone it felt like it was all mine.

What I hadn't expected was for Eli to have fits because Eric and John weren't there. I tried to let Eric talk to Eli as much as I could, Skype even. The only way to calm him was to lay with him in Eric's bed till he fell asleep. Which, you know, didn't bother me. The bed and room smelled like Eric plenty enough and I always somehow felt a smile creep across my lips.

It was early but Eli had been having a fit so I was laying with him in Eric's bed, Eli nearly asleep when my phone started buzzing. I grabbed my phone and Eric's face flashed across my screen. I answered it in a whisper, "Hey." I said.

"Hey." Eric's voice came through the background I could hear people talking and music. He must have been in a club.

"You sound busy." I said with a yawn, looking at the toddler next to me who was fast asleep.

"I'm never too busy to call you." Eric said, "How's Eli doing?" A ring of concern coming through the other end. He sounded sad. couldn't imagine how homesick he must be, after taking him on the road, to not have him there must have been a foreign concept.

I smiled a little, "He's good. Fast asleep now—"

"—Now?" Eric interjected, puzzled.

"He's been having fits since you left. The only way for me to calm him is to put him in your bed and lay with him till he falls asleep." I said quietly.

"So, you're in my bed?"

I gave a nod, "Yeah, but Eli is asleep now so I'll be putting him back in his room shortly." I said, shrugging as I looked at the tigns in the room.

Eric chuckled, "I hope you're in my bed when I get home." He said, "What are you wearing?"

I laughed quietly, picturing the older wiggling his brows on the other end of the line, "Oh hush." I said quietly. "But if you have to know, one of your shirts. It's a little baggy." I said softly.

"Oh, I see how it is when I'm not there." Eric teased, "Sleep in my bed, wear my shirts. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in love with me." He joked.

"So what if I am?" I retorted back to him, as soon as the words left my mouth, my face was deep red in embarrassment and not knowing what Eric would say on the other end. It wasn't exactly how I pictured saying it. Oh well, too late to take it back.

"I'd say I'm a very lucky guy." Eric said, his tone less joking and more serious. "I gotta run, but I'll skype you later." Eric said and just like that he was gone.

So many things were running through my mind. Admitting to sleeping in Eric's shirts is one thing, it's another to admit that I was completely in love with him. Not that half-ass admission I'd pulled in the kitchen either, this was something that was more tangible and concrete. I sighed and climbed out of the bed and got ready to pick Eli up when my phone buzzed again. I picked it up to see a text message.

Eric Jackson:

I'm in love with you too Ari.