I Will Always Love You

“Bryan?” I said as I held my phone closer to my hear so I could hear him.
“Yes! Gosh thank goodness you finally answered!”
“Finally?” I said, “I've texted and called a few times and never got a response.” I heard some fumbling in the background. I think he was looking for missed messages. His phone isn't such a great one.
“Oh whoops.” he said when the speaker returned to his ear.
“Yeah, you really need a new phone.” I said laughing.
“I know I do! But with as many people are in this house you think I'm gonna get one?” He had a point. He had three little sisters and two little brothers. He, luckily, was the oldest.
“So what have you been up to?” I ask him.
“Well why don't you tell me what you've been up to? Ive been worrying like crazy over where you are.”
I sigh into the phone as I turn the corner into another isle, “I'm just fine, just need to get out for a while.”
“Oh yeah I understand that,” he said laughing, “Oh I have more news for you.”
“Oh you do? What is it?”
“Guess who is getting another addition to the family?” At that point I froze, I didn't know he knew. I swallowed hard, and put my phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Who?” I asked shakily.
“This guy is getting another brother!” he yelled sarcastically. I take a deep breath and relax.
“Ohh phew I thought you knew.” I caught myself too late, I had said the words out loud into the phone. My hand flew up and covered my mouth and I caught my breath. There was silence on the other end, did he not hear me?
“Know what?” he asked. He definitely heard me. I take a deep breath. I guess now was the time to tell him.
“I have something to tell you, I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't wanna worry you with it.”
“What is it Sam?” I could hear his little sister in the background. It was Lila, the older middle sister. She by far was my favorite of all Bryan's little sisters. She was kind and nice and actually listened to Bryan. Bryan laughed, “Someone wants to say hi.” he handed the phone to Lila.
“Hi Sam!” she said, she was so adorable.
“Hey Li!” I always call her Li, but I'm the only one allowed to call her that. Its our thing.
“Where are you?” she asked. I hadn't been over in a few months, I never even realized.
“I'm in a safe place Li, that's all you need to know.” I couldn't tell a six year old what was happening, I could barely comprehend it myself.
“Okay Sam, come over soon okay?” she loved to hang out with me and Bryan. She would always sleep with me whenever I'd stay the night.
“I'll come over as soon as I can.” I heard her giggle and run off. She was the nicest little girl I knew, yet still had the attention span of a little girl.
“She really misses you Sam,” Bryan said, “You really need to come over soon.”
I sigh into the phone. “You know, I really can't Bryan.” I grab a few things off the shelf and head for the check out.
“What do you mean? You never turn down an offer to come over.” I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and I also didn't want him thinking I don't wanna be around him.
“Bryan there is something important I need to tell you, but I'm not sure how you will take it.” He was silent for a second, thinking no doubt.
“Go ahead, I won't be mad. You know you can tell me anything Sam.” I couldn't deny the truth, I really could tell him anything, he was the only one I could trust. Once I was outside the store, I started to talk.

“Well there is just this thing that happened.”
“Is this about your parents again? Because you know your always welcome here Sam.”
“No, no it's not. Its about what happened...you know...that night.”
He takes a deep breath, “Is it him?” he seemed so calm about it. I honestly thought he would be the first to figure it out.
“I guess in a way it is, yet it's me too.” if he didn't get that hint, I was going to have to just be straight forward with him.
“Come on Sam, you know I'm here for you, just talk to me about it, we have before right?”
“Bryan, I'm pregnant!”

I didn't even think as I said this, it just came out. Bryan was silent, I thought he had hung up on me, but I still heard his breathing. I was scared to say anything, he would yell if I did. Soon I heard him fumbling around for things. “What are you doing?” I asked him.
“What am I doing?!? I'm coming over to help you! We need to find an abortion center right away, or maybe someone to adopt it.” It? He kept on rambling in my ear, but I didn't hear a single word. All I could think about was the word it. Did he really mean it in the way I think he did? Does he think I'm really going to abandon this helpless it? He stopped talking, “Hey Sam?” I finally snapped back to reality.
“Yes?” I said in a daze.
“Which one?”
“What?” how long had he been talking? Was I really thinking for that long?
“The Northern Belmont Abortion Center, or The Eastern Heights Abortion Center?”
“What do you mean?” didn't he know it had been like four months since this happened?
“Which Center do you wanna go to? Northern or Eastern Heights?”
“Bryan,” I say softly, “I'm in Kansas.”

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was keeping the baby, not yet. He would kill me for sure, and Jacob. I could hear him clicking on the keyboard of his computer in the background. “Bryan, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Looking for the next flight out there.”
“What?” I was surprised.
“I'm coming out there.”
“No, your not.” I reply to him in a stern voice.
“Oh yes I am, we need to take care of this, this thing before it hurts you and becomes a major problem.” That is what had sent me over the edge, my baby was not a thing or an it, my baby was a human being.
“Bryan!” I yell into the phone.
“What?!?” he yells back at me, in surprise. I was very mad at him, I wanted to hang up. But I knew he would just call back and come out to find me for sure. “Sam, that thing needs to be taken out of you before it grows. And the only way to do that is at an Abortion Center. We need to dispose of it.” He was treating my child like it was nothing more than a bag of trash! I was absolutely infuriated now, so mad I was tearing up.
“Bryan!!” I screech into the phone again.
“What the hell Sam? Will you stop yelling in my ear?”
“No!” I screamed at him, “I will not! This is not just some thing that needs to be disposed! This is not just some it that can easily be taken away from me! This is my baby! You hear that? Baby, baby, baby! If you can't accept the fact that this is my baby, then don't bother calling me again! Yes it was an accident, yes it is 'tragic' but this is still my body, my life, my choice! I am going to have this baby, and I am going to raise this baby. Whether you wanna be a part of it is your choice, but I will not stand by and have you treating a part of me like garbage!” And with that, I hung up the phone.

I walked home in silence. I could feel the almost continuous vibrating of my phone in my pocket, Bryan would not stop. When I arrived at home Jacob had gone out somewhere, I really didn't care where I was just glad he was gone. I pulled out my phone and looked at it, 27 missed calls. I kinda felt bad for snapping at him like that, but its what he deserved for talking trash about me and the baby. The phone vibrates in my hand, I decide to pick it up. “Hello?”
“What the hell was that Sam?!?!” he yells in my ear.
“That was nothing if your going to keep yelling at me.” I reply.
He is silent for a long time. “Where in Kansas are you?” he finally questions.
“If your going to come out here to try and convince me to get rid of 'it' then don't bother coming at all Bryan. I've made up my mind and nothing will make me change it.”
“I understand that Sam, but where in Kansas are you?”
“North Ridge, but you can't come here Bryan.”
“And why not?” I didn't want to tell him that Jacob was here, but I had to give him a reason.
“Lila needs you there, and so do your other siblings.”
He thinks about this for a moment, “I'm coming out there whether you want me to or not Sam, you need me.”
“Jacob is here.” I say all too quickly.
“So you want the idiot guy who did this to you there with you, but not your best friend?”
“No! It's not like that! He just showed up here.”
“I'll arrive at the airport in 6 hours, whether you decide to pick me up or I take a cab is your choice, but your not stopping me from coming.” And with that, he hung up.

I shut my phone and let out a large sigh. I was glad I would have my best friend with me, but how would Jacob and my parents react?
“Well well well,” a voice from behind me said, “Something bad happened on that phone call, didn't it?” Shit, Jacob was home.
“No not really, just getting stressed about the baby and stuff.”
He gave a slow, dark chuckle. “I know you too well Samantha. Something is wrong, why don't you tell me about it?” Oh, he is playing this game again.
“I really think I'm just fine Jacob.”
He takes a step closer to me, “I really think you need to tell me.”
“Why did you even really come out here Jacob? To torture me? To try and convince me to get rid of the baby? Why??”
“I believe we both know why I'm here Samantha, you are just too oblivious to see it.”
I look at him utterly confused, then see him pull something out of his pocket.