The Rules of Life

When school was over, I dutifully went back to the office and sat in one the over-stuffed chairs until Miss McNeil said the counselor would see me. Mr. Denning was a tall guy with a beer gut and a badly receding hairline. Maybe in high school he’d been a looker, but the extra weight and hair had killed any of his looks. He was nice enough, for a counselor, and was a lot fairer than the principal who was influenced by his slutty daughter. If only he doled out punishments. I probably would have gotten off easier.

He smiled at me, flashing straight teeth. His smile was all that remained of his youth. “Hello, McKinley Miller,” he said, “What can I do you for?” He sounded way too happy. If I was a school counselor, I’d probably kill myself. Hell, working at a high school would just suck in general. High school kids were bitches and mostly just an unbearable lot. Myself included. I was giving Principal Tanner premature gray hair, after all.

“Yeah, I’d like to change my schedule, please,” I said.

Mr. Denning typed a few things into his computer. “It’s a little late to be doing schedule changes, Miss Miller,” he said, looking at me over the computer monitor. “But I’ll see what I can do. What are you looking to change?”

“I would like a new homeroom and a new math teacher,” I said. “They’re the same person,” I added. “Mr. Hardacker.”

“Yes, yes, I see that,” Mr. Denning murmured. “Is there something wrong with him? Most students actually request him and it seems your best grade is in that class. Although that’s not saying much.” Mr. Denning gave me a stern look. “Your grades leave a lot to be desired, Miss Miller. I don’t know if I should honor your request, especially since you’re doing better under his care than under anyone else’s.”

I couldn’t think of a viable excuse. I couldn’t say anything against Matt as a teacher but I had to do something. What if this personal day was his time to get all his ducks in a row before quitting or spilling the beans? He’d be fired for sure and no one else would hire him. Who wanted a teacher with a history of fraternizing with his students? He’d be labeled a sex offender and have to find a new career. I couldn’t let him ruin his life like that. Not when there were so many students that needed his help.

“Um,” I said. “Well. In homeroom, there are, uh, bitches” shit, shouldn’t have said that, “I mean, girls, that I don’t get along with and it stresses me out so the rest of the day I’m in a funk…” I was pathetic. Jesus Christ, this was the lamest excuse ever. What was I, four? Can’t get along with bitches? Fucking great idea, Kinley.

Mr. Denning raised one bushy eyebrow. All the hair his head was losing, those fucking caterpillars were finding it, holy Jesus’s face. “Miss Miller, please, be honest here,” he said. He moved away from his computer and put his elbows on the desk and leaned forward. “If you need to be profane to get your point across, go ahead.”

Alright, Mr. Denning! “Um, okay,” I said. “Well. I don’t like, like, half of the bitches,” I gauged his reaction but he continued watching me with interest. Alright, I could get used to this. “And I hate having to bitch them out every morning and then deal with them all day which is so distracting and exhausting. But I’m good at math, which is my grade is higher there. It has nothing to do with Matt, I mean, Mr. H.” If Mr. Denning caught my slip of Mr. Hardacker’s first name, he didn’t show it. I was glad. I didn’t want to go into detail about how Mr. H was all intertwined with my personal life and how, yeah, I’d sort of developed a crush on him which I’d become aware of when I, oops, kissed him. Definitely not a story I wanted to tell right now.

“In the real world, you’ll have to find a way to deal with people you don’t like,” Mr. Denning told me. I didn’t say anything. Because he was right, of course. But my excuse was complete bullshit. I could handle Sophia and April and anyone else in those classes. But Mr. H couldn’t handle me anymore and that was the problem. “So here’s the deal I’m going to make you,” he said. Deal? Gulp. Mr. H, I hope you appreciate this. “I’ll change your schedule if you get your grades up. The end of the first quarter is in a month. If you have a 2.0 GPA or higher, I’ll let you switch your classes around. That sound fair?” It did, actually, but I needed to be switched now.

“What if I promise to get my grades up and you switch my classes around now?” I smiled sweetly.

Mr. Denning laughed. “Sorry, Miss Miller. This is my only offer.”

I would have to sit through another month of classes with Mr. H, if he didn’t quit or get fired first. It wasn’t what I’d promised him, but… It would let me say goodbye, at least for myself. So I nodded. “Okay,” I said.

“Okay, great. You’ll have to get this signed, though.” Mr. Denning rifled through his desk and then handed me a green piece of paper. It was a class transfer sheet. “Mr. Hardacker will need to sign it soon, so he is also aware of the predicament and can hopefully make your last month in his class easier on you. I’ll also e-mail him.” At least he’d know this was the best I could do. I took the form and stood up.

“Thank you, Mr. Denning,” I said.

He smiled at me. “You’re welcome, Miss Miller. Have a nice day.”

Travis was waiting for me outside. He was sitting on the steps, looking kind of upset. I half-heartedly kicked him and he jumped to his feet. “What’s eating you?” I asked. Normally I wouldn’t care, but Travis was growing on me.

“I thought you’d already gone home,” he said. He sounded like he meant it, too. Poor guy. If only I could return the affection.

“Nope, just rearranging my schedule,” I said.

“Why?”

“I’m dropping Hardacker’s classes.”

“Wait, I thought you and Mr. H were, like, buds.” Travis stopped. “Is it because of April? Cause I told her to stop bothering you. I can go talk to her some more.” He really looked like he would, too. If you took away the whole blackmailing me to go out with him part, he’d actually be a decent guy. Maybe one I would have eventually found myself dating anyway. But of course, that was in Kinley’s Idealistic Fantasy World and the truth was, he’d already blackmailed me into dating him. I didn’t trust not going out with him, just in case those drugs found their way into my locker.

I waved my hand. “Don’t worry about it, Travis,” I said. “Now, why were you waiting for me?”

He grinned and held out his hands, showing me his keys. “I’m going to drive you home,” he said. “Cause you missed your bus and that’s what boyfriends do.”

“Are you my boyfriend?” I asked. I wasn’t really sure. We’d gone on a date and we had another one scheduled. Did that mean we were together? I’d never really had a boyfriend, only fuck buddies and often times I was so high, I didn’t remember much of that anyway. Did this mean he had to meet my dad? Cause that was a big fat N-O.

Travis shrugged. “I want to be,” he said. He looked me in the eye. At that moment, he appeared so… well, vulnerable. I could crush his soul like a bug. I’d done that a lot, actually, but this time it seemed worse, since he’d been all nice to me and we’d actually gone on a date. A date that had ended badly, but still, Travis had proved he wasn’t such a bad guy. There were worse guys to date. And Mr. H certainly wasn’t going to be my new boyfriend, no matter how much I wanted him to be. So I shrugged and grabbed his hand.

He drove me home and gave me a kiss goodbye. It wasn’t like the kiss Mr. H and I had shared but it was nice. I went upstairs and flopped on my bed before I remembered I had to do my homework. Cursing, I dragged it out of my bag and did what I could. By the time I was done, I was exhausted and Soe was pissed at me because I was ignoring him.

“I’m sorry, Soe,” I said. “I’ll pay attention to you now.” But that ended up not happening since I crashed about as soon as I laid down. I didn’t even bother changing out of my school clothes or cleaning up the mess of papers scattered around me. I curled up on top of all that shit, with Soe purring in my arms and was out cold.