The Rules of Life

I woke up too early. About an hour before my alarm was scheduled to go off. It wasn’t even Soe’s fault. The cat was still snoozing, though he’d moved from my arms to the foot of my bed. Papers crinkled as I moved off them and I stretched my arms above my head. I scratched my cheek and yawned. The mess could wait, I decided. I changed from my school clothes and into leggings and a sweatshirt, pulling my hair into a ponytail. Running time.

The sidewalk was wet from last night’s rain and the sky was gray. It was cold outside but the exertion warmed me quickly. I never used music when I ran but today might have been a good day to start. It was too quiet outside. There were no birds singing or dogs barking. No cars rumbled with life while they awaited their drivers. Everything was still. It really was early.

I did my usual route and paused in front of the same house I had a few days before. I still couldn’t recall how I knew it until I recognized the car in the driveway. A silver Honda. This was where Mr. H lived. Not wanting to feel like a creeper, I took off. I ran until I was far out of seeing distance and even then, my jogging pace had picked up considerably. I didn’t slow until I got home. My house quiet, too. Even the old man wanted sleep more than he wanted to taunt me with the prospect of a delicious breakfast. I showered and by the time I’d gotten out, Soe was up and about.

He sprayed cat litter all over the bathroom floor after he did his business and then ate all the food in his bowl, meowing at me for more.

“You fat ass cat,” I said to him as I poured some more food in his bowl. He meowed at me and went to work eating his fresh food. I traveled from my bathroom in my towel and nearly fainted when I realized I wasn’t alone.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room?! Why didn’t you knock? I’m naked! Holy shit, I’m naked, get out, get out!” I shrieked.

Travis just laughed at me and stayed where he was, sitting on my bed, holding one of my stuffed animals. He did not listen to me and get out. He did not answer my questions. He acted like it was perfectly normal for him to be in my room while I was naked, sitting on my bed, and petting my stuffed cow like it was a goddamn dog. “I’ve seen you naked before,” he reminded me. Apparently we were at the point where we could reminisce on the memories where he ruined my life. Cool.

“I don’t care! Get out!” I shoved at him until he finally got up and left my room, closing the door behind him. Then I freaked out. Even more than I just had, I mean.

I threw my towel on the floor and then picked it back up again just in case he somehow had x-ray vision and could see through my door. Which would mean that he could see through my towel too, so that didn’t really make much of a difference anyway. But I rooted through my drawers for some jeans and then grabbed a t-shirt with a ruler and rock saying “you rock!” and “you rule!” to each other. It was lame but it had made me smile and had been on sale.

I wiggled into my clothes and then flung open my door. Travis wasn’t there. Oh no. There were the sounds of talking downstairs. Two male voices talking. I shoved my homework, which had been neatly stacked on my bed, into my backpack and tugged on my sneakers. Then I raced downstairs and stopped abruptly at the sight of my father and my now-boyfriend talking about football.

“Good morning, Kinley,” Paul said to me pleasantly. Like he said it to me every morning. Like we were a normal father-daughter team. Like he hadn’t sent me to jail. What the fuck? Had I entered the fucking Twilight Zone? Were aliens going to materialize and insist on poking me with their abnormal fingers? Did they want my brain? Fuck, it was too early for this.

“What are you doing here, Travis?” I asked. I snagged a banana out of the fruit bowl on the counter but then I realized it was shaped like a penis and someone immature (cough, Travis) would probably get too excited. So I put it back and got an apple instead. I took a bite out of it and relished the sweetness of the apple. A jog and an apple were good ways to start a morning. If only Travis hadn’t interfered and jumbled everything else up.

He shrugged. “I was going to give you a ride to school,” he said. “And then I met your dad. You never told me you had a footballer father.”

“I didn’t tell you a lot of things,” I mumbled under my breath.

“What?” Travis asked, wrinkling his eyebrows in confusion.

“Nothing, never mind. Let’s go!” I grabbed his arm, holding firmly onto my apple in the other, and then I dragged Travis towards the door. “Bye, Paul!” Before he could reply, we were out the door and halfway to Travis’s car.

He unlocked it and opened the door for me. Ever the gentleman, that Travis. He wasn’t a bad boyfriend, at least so far. When he climbed into his side, he stopped and looked at me, a funny expression on his face. “Why do you call your dad by his name? How come you don’t call him dad?” Then he frowned. “And where’s your mom? Do you call her by her name?” We were getting into deep territory with all Travis’s invasive questions. This was all so fast. We were dating. Mr. H might be quitting or getting fired. I had feelings with Mr. H and a growing affection for Travis, who wanted to get to know the intimate details of my life. I wasn’t sure how okay I was with that. I wasn’t sure if I’d still forgiven Travis, really. Travis was just such a complicated part of my life. But what part of my life wasn’t complicated at this point? Even my dad was playing Mr. Nice Guy.

Life was so much easier when I hated everyone and they hated me.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “Too many questions there, hotshot. Drive me to school first, and maybe you’ll get some answers.” No, he wouldn’t. I didn’t talk about this stuff. I didn’t even talk about it with Matt and I actually trusted him.

Travis shrugged, but I could see that my refusal to answer his questions stung. I wondered if he’d gone soft on me. But he didn’t dwell on it and turned on the radio. He sang along as we drove to school.

It was weird getting out of a car instead of getting off the bus. My social status had been raised and when Travis took my hand and led me over to where Dash and Sophia were standing, I was even more convinced I was in a parallel universe. Social leper to social climber in a week. I was ready for my own cheesy ABC Family show. Dash greeted me with a smile and Sophia actually hugged me. I was so surprised that I didn’t hug back. And she didn’t even look offended. God, being popular meant acting like a bitch and no one caring. They actually liked that you were like that. Jesus.

When the bell rang, Travis went to walk me to class but Sophia waved him off. “Go with Dash. Kinley and I are going to the same place and I’ll make sure she’s safe.” She smiled brightly, gave Dash and kiss and watched me. Was I supposed to kiss Travis? He raised his eyebrows at me but didn’t make a move, like he normally would. Shit. So I leaned forward and awkwardly pecked Travis on the lips. He looked like he was about the laugh. Yeah, ha ha. Yuk it up, Travis. Sophia linked her arm through mine and practically skipped to homeroom.

Homeroom… Suddenly I felt sick.

“Oh, you look exactly how I used to when I had to leave Dash,” Sophia gushed, mistaking my nausea for wistfulness over leaving my beloved boyfriend. Not. We’d only been dating for, what, a day? Give or take a few, depending on when you considered two people to be dating. “But don’t worry. Travis has been mooning over you for years. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon!” Great. I forced a smile on my face and let Sophia lead me to class. She chattered on about cheer, like I actually cared. I didn’t bother even acting like I was paying attention to a word she was saying. I didn’t give a fuck about cheer.

Was Mr. H going to be here today? The slip of paper burned a hole in my backpack. It needed to be signed. I would have to talk to him to get it signed. Oh god. I couldn’t do this. I really couldn’t. But Sophia was pushing through the door before I could convince her to take me to the nurse. The door was open and she was still talking about cheerleading and people were staring. I couldn’t look. Oh god. I felt sick. I kept my eyes on the floor and when Sophia sat down, all she had to do was glare at the girl sitting in the seat next her before she got up and skittered away. Any other time, I would have admired that glare but not now. He was here. I could feel his presence. And when I looked up, there he was. Watching me. I couldn’t read his expression and I couldn’t look away.

We stared at each other for a long time before Sophia waved her hand in front of my face. “Kinley? McKinley, are you even listening to me?” she snapped. I shook my head and looked at her perfect face. Heart-shaped with bow lips and silky blonde curls that cascaded down her back. It was the work of hours before school. What was the point? You looked nice for six and a half hours and then you went home and what? Put it up and changed. There was no point.

“Yeah, sorry,” I said. “I was just spacing out there.”

Sophia laughed. “No kidding. No wonder you’re failing.” At the slip of insult, her eyes widened and she watched me for a reaction. Holy shit. The queen of high school was afraid of offending me. Hold the phone guys, this is monumental!

I laughed it off. “Yeah. Hey, about that,” I said. This was a leap of faith but I knew Sophia had good grades. “You don’t think you could help me, do you? I have to get my grades up, actually, and I’m good at math but everything else is… well, difficult.” It wasn’t, but I was lazy and I had to learn A LOT to catch up. The extra help would be a godsend.

Sophia brightened. “Yes! I would love to! We could make a whole night of it.” She grinned nice and big. “Sleep over!” What the hell was I getting myself into?

-

At the end of math, I went up to Mr. H to have him sign my paper. I’d been avoiding his gaze all day but now I had no choice. He looked up when I approached his desk and he looked so wary, like I’d leap across the table and rip his clothes off right in front of everything. Yeah, right. Even I had some semblance of self-control, however little that may be. I really wanted to leap across the table and rip his clothes off but we were in school and the kiss had been a bad idea. I don’t think impromptu sex in front of the class would really go over too well.

“Mr. Hardacker,” I said formally. The politeness stuck in my throat. “I need you to sign this.” I held out the paper. He glanced at it and then looked back at his computer.

“Yes, I received an e-mail about it.” He typed something quickly, the keys clacking loudly in the relatively quiet room. “I’m a little busy right now. Will you come in after school?” An after school visit? Gulp. But I nodded.

“Thank you,” I said politely. I think even Mr. H was surprised at the formalities. But he had to know it was for his benefit. He wanted this. And as much as I hated it, it was for the best. So I returned to my desk and did my work. It had been a weird day. Teachers all over were completely flummoxed. McKinley Miller, doing her work? Did hell freeze over? Were pigs outside flying across the sky? It was like I brought about the second apocalypse, with the way things were acting.

But I got all my make-up work and it was seriously weighing down my backpack. I could barely walk when I wandered into Mr. H’s class after school.

I was digging through my backpack, looking for the piece of paper that he needed to sign when I felt a presence behind me. I turned around and I nearly died. He was so close. So, so close. God, this was torture. Why was he doing this to me? Did he want me to die from heart palpitations? Because I was about to have a heart attack right here.

And that’s when he put his hand on my neck and dragged my face up to his. Our lips were millimeters apart and I could smell his breath. It was minty and oh so sweet. He looked into my eyes, searching. I still couldn’t read what was going on inside his mind but it didn’t matter because he was about to kiss me.

And then he did.