The Rules of Life

That Friday, Travis had coerced me into going on another date with him. This one, he promised, would be lots of fun. There’d be food and movies and dessert. Maybe even some romantic stargazing, he’d teased, if I behaved myself. At that, I rolled my eyes. Behaving myself had become my mantra all week. After freaking out to Matt, I’d done my best to stay out of the spotlight. No more bitch fights and no more eye contact. I’d even feigned illness a few times and convinced Travis to skip with me. I just wanted to be normal and have a normal boyfriend and do normal things normal couples do. I didn’t want the drama of people whispering behind my back and flinching at my every move. And I especially didn’t want to like my teacher.

This time, I decided to dress nicely. I didn’t own anything particularly nice but I figured Sophia could be of assistance. I’d hesitantly approached her, feeling stupid that I’d need help from her and for something so trivial and vain, but what could you do? Sophia was thrilled to help me and told me that we’d have a slumber party. She’d help me get ready beforehand and then I could just come back over after the date. And while I was off being swept off my feet (her words, not mine), she could spend some time with Dash. Win-win situation.

So for an hour, I let Sophia treat me like the life-size, walking, talking Barbie that even her parents’ money had never been able to buy. “I think blue – no, green – no, red! – no, no, no…” That was all I could hear from Sophia’s closet. She had a huge closet. It was bigger than my room plus adjoined bathroom. I didn’t know how someone could have enough clothes to fill a closet that big but Sophia had an endless supply of shirts, and pants, and skirts, and dresses, and shoes… Oh god, she had more shoes than I had articles of clothing. It was insane.

Finally, she emerged, a giant armful of clothes obscuring her face from view. She said something but the fabric muffled her words. She moved her face and blew a piece of fabric from her mouth. “Okay, there’s got to be something in here that’s perfect.” She sat the pile down on her bed and began to sort through it, pulling out outfits for me to try on. Dutifully, I modeled each one. I tried on clothes worth hundreds of dollars, dresses made from the very best material, things that should only have been worn on the red carpet. Even the most casual outfit was worth probably a thousand dollars. My head spun with the beautiful clothes, the abundance of fabrics, the plethora of colors and styles and designers. Everything was different even if they appeared seemingly the same. I didn’t know how girls did it.

“Wait! That’s it!” Sophia shouted as I was about to traipse back into my make-shift dressing room and change for the umpteenth time. I stopped at her outburst and looked down at my outfit: shiny gold metallic leggings and a dress that ended just below my butt. The dress itself was kind of shapeless but the leggings, which gave my legs a lot of form, easily balanced it out. My hair was curled and Sophia had expertly applied my make-up. I examined myself in the mirror and didn’t even recognize the person standing before me. No longer was I McKinley Miller, bitch, people hater, terror. But I was Kinley, a girl who cleaned up nicely and actually had friends. Sophia came and stood beside me. She was seriously underdressed compared to my ostentatious outfit but she managed to look amazing in black yoga pants and a matching PINK tank top. “Let’s take a picture!” Sophia snatched up her smart phone and instructed me to smile. I did so, more out of shock than actual want to smile and then next thing I knew, Sophia had tagged me and uploaded the picture to Facebook, where all of Sophia’s 2000some friends would know that we were friends.

Sophia looped her arm through mine and smiled at me. “I’m glad that we’re friends now, Kinley,” she said.

I smiled warily back at her. “Yeah,” I echoed, “me too.” It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate everything Sophia was doing for me, but I had a hard time letting go of the past. Sophia had done a lot of evil, not just to me, but to a lot of people. I couldn’t just forgive her as easily as she’d forgiven me for almost getting her in trouble, for messing up her make-up. But standing there, doing girly things, normal things, I almost felt happy.

The doorbell downstairs rang loudly, tolling throughout the whole house. Sophia sprinted from the room. She had a lot of energy. I suppose she had to be, considering her high school profession. You had to have pep to be a cheerleader. I looked at myself in the mirror and hoped that, despite how different I looked, how beautiful I appeared, that I wasn’t slowly losing myself.

She materialized in the doorway, beckoning me forward. I took a deep breath. Here we go.

Travis looked very good in casual wear, dark jeans and a white v-neck underneath his letterman jacket. He scratched up at his hair, messing up the dark locks until they resembled their usually unkempt look. Sophia scolded him. He grinned at her but when he looked up at me, saw me descend the steps, I felt like I was in one of those cheesy romantic comedies, the old ones, where the guy sees the girl on the stairs and suddenly nothing else in the world exists because, oh god, she’s gorgeous. It was clichéd in every sense of the word but there was no other way to describe. But as he gazed me adoringly, all I wished was that it was Matt looking at me like that, not Travis.

But still I smiled back. Because Travis was stunning and a part of me did like him. He’d stubbornly wormed his way into my heart. And even if I didn’t trust him, I still enjoyed his company on occasion. He worked marvelously for selfish uses, too, but I tried not to think about that right now. I wanted tonight to be an escape, not another reason for me to dwell on all the shit that was wrong with me.

“Wow, Kinley, you look—I mean, you look… wow.” Travis Elton was never speechless, not around girls. But it seems as though I was a first for everything. His first serious girlfriend, the first girl he’d actually chased, the first girl he’d slept with and didn’t lose interest, the first second date that was actually a date. I was bringing about a lot of firsts and as nice as it was to be able to change someone so drastically, it was saddening. Each first I signified was a potential heartbreak I could cause. I had a lot of power of Travis and he kept giving me more, even though I didn’t want it.

I stepped forward and touched the smooth leather of his letterman jacket. “You clean up pretty nicely yourself,” I murmured in reply.

“Aw, you guys are too cute for words!” Sophia squealed. “Pictures!”

“What? Sophia, no – ” But she didn’t listen to reason. Sophia herded us together and instructed us on how hold ourselves and how to stand, where to put our hands, the expression that should be on our face. Only after five minutes was she satisfied that we looked picture ready. Those pictures, too, I was sure, would end up Facebook and forever float around the internet world. Everyone would know that I dated Travis. I just hoped that I was a better actress than I felt like I was.

“Okay, Sophia, we really have to go now,” Travis insisted. His arm was lightly wrapped around my lower back, his hand cupping my hip. It wasn’t possessive, not at all, just warm, romantic. It was safe.

Sophia nodded. “Of course,” she agreed. “Besides, Dash will be here any time and oh no!” She had caught sight of her reflection in one the many mirrors that hung on the walls. It was a wonder she hadn’t seen herself before. “I’m running out of time!” She ran up the stairs. “See you later! Have fun!” And then her bedroom door slammed and Travis and I were alone.

He seemed to be reading my mind. “Alone at last,” he whispered and kissed my lips lightly. “Shall we go?” I nodded and let Travis lead me to his car.

“Where are we going?” I asked, because he hadn’t told me.

“It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise? Not really a fan of surprises.” Travis held the door open for me and waited until I was securely in the car, seatbelt and all. Right before the door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, “You’ll like this one.” And that was all he said. Despite my questions that bordered on annoying, Travis remained a mute. Finally I gave up, huffing and leaning against the leather seat. Travis chuckled at me but I didn’t find it particularly funny. Lately, all the surprises in my life had been bad, or if they’d been good, bad things quickly followed. I didn’t want this date to end up one those Bad Things.

After a while of scenery gazing, things looked familiar. That’s when I saw Travis’s house. “We’re going to your house?” I asked him. “I got all dolled up for your house?”

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss this,” Travis said lightly. He pulled into his driveway and helped me out of the car. He didn’t let go of my hand as we walked up to his house. “My lady,” he said in a surprisingly realistic British accent, bowing. He kissed my hand. “Dinner awaits.”

The house smelled amazing. It was pretty dark, lit only by flickering candles that gave off the smell of vanilla. White rose petals littered the floor, a pathway for me. It led me to the dining room, which had been emptied of its large table and instead housed a small, circular table with only two places set. There were candles here, too, and petals on the table cloth. These petals were red, to contrast with the white cloth. Two flutes of sparkling liquid stood proudly. The table was set perfectly, exquisitely. And a small girl, decked out in black pants and a white shirt was waiting patiently and silently beside my seat. She smiled at me and stepped away to allow Travis to pull out my chair. When I was seated, and Travis had sat down, she reached underneath the table and hoisted a green bottle of sparkling cider onto the table.

“Dinner will served momentarily,” she said in a very formal voice for such a young girl. Carly left, her hair swinging back and forth.

“How’d you manage that?” I asked.

Travis smiled. “I’m full of surprises,” he said.

“Yes, yes you are,” I whispered.

Travis reached across the table and took my hand. “Is this okay?” he asked. I looked in his eyes, saw how badly he wanted this to be okay, how much he wanted me to want this, and just how much he wanted me. So I nodded, because it was okay. It was romantic and sweet and beautiful. And I didn’t deserve any of it. I didn’t deserve it at all.

“Would you like anything to drink besides cider?” Megan asked, smiling at us. Just like Carly, she was dressed in proper waiter attire.

“Do you have any Coke?” I asked.

“Sorry,” Megan frowned, “we only have Pepsi. And it’s diet. Is that okay?”

How ironic. I wanted Coke and all I could get was Pepsi. I wanted Matt but all I could get was Travis. At least Travis was better than a low-fat Travis. I almost laughed at my joke. “Cider is fine for now, thanks,” I said with a smile. Megan gave a small bow and went back inside the kitchen. “You really went all out for this, huh?”

Travis sipped his cider and grinned. “Of course. You’re my girlfriend. Only the best for you.” There was something else he wanted to say. I could tell. I could see it hiding behind his eyes, in the way that he unclasped and re-clasped his hands. I saw it in the continuous fixing of the alignment of his silverware. He was jittery, another first. But before I could get him to spill it, Carly returned, closely followed by her mother. They carried silver platters and put them in front of us, removing the lids for a flourish. Carly had some trouble and almost knocked a candle over. Luckily Travis’s sports reflexes flashed and he steadied the flame.

“Nice,” I said. Travis smiled and said, “Dig in.”

The food was amazing. I wasn’t sure if it was homemade or not but it didn’t taste like anything cheap. It was chicken scampi, garlic pasta and garlic chicken. The chicken melted in my mouth and the noodles were bursting with flavor. I didn’t even care that this dish was going to make my breath ward off people for miles. It’d scare off vampires. That was beneficial. There was more small talk over the chicken and pasta but nothing serious. Once we were finished, our waiters appeared again and replaced our meal with sundaes. Perfect sundaes, too, with the right amount of hot fudge that was still warm, two cherries, sprinkles… It was divine.

“So, is this date better than the last one?” Travis asked. I nodded vigorously, shoveling ice cream into my mouth. “Good. I don’t suppose you’d want to consider this our first date, would you? Our last one didn’t go very well, so I’m not sure if it even counts.”

I swallowed the ice cream and licked my lips. They were greasy from the sauce of the chicken and cold from the ice cream. Oh boy, Travis was in for a real treat. Garlic breath and greasy lips. Yummy. “Okay,” I said. “That seems fair.” And it did. Our first date had sucked partially because of me and partially because of Travis. I’d goaded him. All he’d done was follow my lead.

He looked relieved. “Good. Listen, there’s something I want to tell you.” I had a feeling this was going to be a bomb drop moment. My life would probably be forever changed after this moment. So I braced myself and waited. “McKinley, there’s no one else like you. There probably never will be. You – you’re so amazing. You’re strong and fearless and you don’t take anyone’s shit. Not even mine. You let me play you but now, even though I’d never do anything to hurt you, you still stick around. You’re my girlfriend. The blackmail was just for the date, not for this.” Travis looked down at his place and pushed the ice cream around a bit. “I’m sorry for it. I shouldn’t have done that to you. It wasn’t fair.” He hesitated. “But I can’t say I regret it. If it weren’t for me blackmailing you, you never would have given me the time of day. But you have and look where we are.”

Yes, look, indeed. Candlelit dinner. Delicious food. A romantic speech. There was only one thing missing… And suddenly I knew what Travis really wanted to say to me.

“This whole experience has been surreal and different from anything I’ve ever witnessed before. I still can’t believe it sometimes.” He looked at me now. The candles cast shadows across the smooth planes of his face, making his eyes seem black. Please don’t, Travis, please don’t do this. I bit down on my lip to keep from screaming at him. Please no. No, not this. Anything but this. “And then I realized why. At first, I wanted you because I couldn’t have you. Typical guy thinking. But then I got to know you and I realized, I wanted you because I actually liked you. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t remember the last time I actually liked somebody. Then, tonight, when I saw you, I knew.” He took a deep breath. No, no. Come on, Travis, no! Don’t do this! “I love you.”

A piece of my heart broke off. My tears watered and the bit of my heart fell. Not because of Travis, but because of myself. The hatred of myself intensified as the knowledge that I was using someone who cared so deeply for me. I was a selfish bitch. And so there, in the middle of our lovely dinner, in front of Travis, who had just professed his love for me, I began to sob.