Maybe Next Year

Hey, we made it. Somehow, we survived one more year. Sitting in my living room, watching this stupid New Year's Eve show, I can't help but send a thank you up to god that this year has finally come to a close. This year did not treat me well. I made a lot of mistakes and there are a lot of things I would love to take back. However, the past is the past and I will not be stuck in it.

The crowd is cheering now on the television. The big moment is approaching.

I have been looking forward to this moment for a long time now. I have been counting down the days with X's on my calendar, the Scooby Doo one that hangs above my bed. I really should think about getting a new calendar. I'm twenty-five years old. What kind of calendar does a twenty-five year old use? Old cars? Half-naked women? I think I'll just stick with my Scooby Doo one. At least when I look at it, I can pretend for a few minutes that I'm still growing up and I'm not all alone.

I glance at the television. The countdown has begun. I brace myself. In ten seconds, I will be a new man. Not literally, but I will be on my way to starting this over again, to making everything right. I have a New Year's resolution this year, first one in a long time. I'm not good with commitment. This year, I will battle my demons, head on. No more hiding. No more running.

five...four...three...two...one...