The Freedom

The rain dripped down the window as I sat watching for a break in the bleak grey clouds. I remembered, vaguely, how once, not so long ago, Ian had told me my eyes resembled the clouds. Not the black angry clouds, he had assured me, but in the same sentence he also said that they weren't the beautiful white of the peaceful skies. They were simply grey, without much consequence, with nothing very memorable about them at all.

I remembered that, because basically, that summed up who I was. Nothing special, nothing remarkable. I was just Keira, the book keeper's daughter, the girl who never said much, the girl who was odd, but not odd enough to be given a second glance.

I knew that it was better that nobody really saw the wonder in me. Anything different was regarded as evil. No magic, no talents, not even strange traditions were tolerated in the small, quake ocean city that had been my prison since the day I was born. Because since the day I was born, I had heard voices, the voices of the Wlydwood.

They always called to me, asking me to run away to them. At first I ignore. But then, they started promising me things. I no longer could ignore them and their temptations of great magic and power, so I instead protested. Told them I couldn't come, I had too much to lose in the world I was currently apart of.

Then, things changed.

"Keira!" Jakob's voice echoed up the stairs and I jumped up out of the window seat to rush out the door to the landing. From the second floor I could see Jakob's face looking up at me. "Keira, do you know where your father is?"

I shook my head, not recalling father mentioning where he was off to or what time he would be back. "No, I do not."

"Good." he said, and instantly his whole attitude changed. His rigid apprentice's body became relaxed and his expression changed from nonchalant to worried, his eyes showing the deepest concern. "Keira, we need to talk."

"Jakob..." I began, but he cut me off.

"You can't fool me Key, I know something is going on, I've known for a while."

"Nothing is going on," but I knew it was no use lying. Jakob could see right through my every dishonest word. He always had been able to, and right now, I resented it more than ever.

It wasn't as though it was his fault, Jakob was just a perceptive person, and it didn't help my cause that he had known me for the better part of the last ten years. We had grown up together, him as an apprentice becoming my older brother, me as a wide eyed girl that need guidance, even if it was from a rough boy from the wrong side of the city. 

A lot had changed since he was ten and I was seven, but the way he could read me had not. Even if he did not know specifically that I was running away, Jakob knew that something was wrong. 

"If nothing is going on then can you explain to me why I found your satchel packed and hidden in the kitchen?"

"How did you find it?" my mind reeling. I had hidden my satchel in my very best hiding spot, a place I thought for sure no one would even think to look, not even Jakob.

He smiled at me, resembling a fox. "I didn't, but I thought that I saw you putting something in there this morning, and besides, you've been acting quite odd lately."

"Aren't you clever," I mumbled, taking my gaze away from his and turning it to look intently at the banister. I could still see him, but at least I didn't have to look him in the eyes anymore. I felt like I had already given to much away. 

"Listen, Key, I know that I will never be able to stop you once you set your mind on something. But please, don't do anything you'll regret."

Would I regret my decision to run? Would I regret turning back on everything that I had ever knowN? Would I regret leaving my home, unknowing what lay before me, never knowing if I would ever come back.

"Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing," I tried convincing him, even if I hadn't yet succeeded in convincing myself.

"You may think you know what you're doing, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about you," he said firmly, adding, "ever."

We stood there for awhile, time only being marked by the constant ticking of the ancient heirloom clock on the mantle. We both watched each other, hearing but not really counting the ticks, I looking down on him, he staring up to see into my uncertain face. Both consumed in our own thoughts, when we did decide to continue the conversation, we both spoke at the same time, tripping over the others words.

"Where are you going?"

"Are you going to tell father?"

I blinked, once, twice, and he smiled kindly. "No, I will not tell your father."

"Good," I sighed with relief. Father was the last person I wanted to talk to, let alone explain myself to.

"But you will have to tell me where you're going." he added, desperate.

"I cannot tell you," I said, looking away from him again, trying once more to hide the truth. It wasn't as if he could see from my eyes that I was escaping to the Wyldwood, but I didn't want to take any chances.

"Are you going to the capital?" he asked, although he sounded unsure in his guess. I shook my head. "Are you leaving for the port in Ansthlethe?" he guessed again, this time a little more confidant, but still shaky. Again, I shook my head. 

He took a deep breath in and let it exhale slowly, making a slow hissing sound with his outgoing breath. "Key...I didn't want to say this."

I bit my lip, "I know."

"Keira, are you running to the Wyldwood?" 

"Yes." I said simply, quietly. He had been the first person, besides Ian, with whom I had been totally honest. "And you can't stop me," I reminded him.

He laughed, shortly and dryly, as if he really didn't find it funny, as if it was a reaction he couldn't control. "I know. Key, if I didn't know that...I wouldn't know you at all. But can you please tell me why?" he asked, sounding more helpless than ever. 

In a way, I felt bad for him. I was his sister, if not by blood than by deep ties. When I left, this house, the library, everything about this place would be empty and the loneliness would echo. I would ask him to come with me if I could, but the voices always whispered, "come alone."

"It's better you don't know Jakob," I assured him. 

"Go Keira, and don't let me see you anymore, or I will try and stop you," he said, and then exchanged sad smiles. If we hadn't been a story apart I would have embraced him in a hug and never have let go. As it were though, we said silent goodbyes, trying to convey the saddest feelings within each others eyes. 

Finally, he nodded once and turned away. I watched him as he sauntered back towards the library, and I could feel a sob waiting to be broken. But I pushed it down and walked back to my room, wondering why goodbyes had to hurt so much.

I didn't bother to close my door, instead I walked back to the window and stood like a statue watching the rain. The steady beat of the rain drops made me feel better, although I wished it would stop. I needed to get out of here before I suffocated.

"Come soon, you are needed," the voices became louder with each rain drop that hit the glass. "Come soon, or you will be abandoned forever."

"I will come," I whispered to my blurred reflection, and at this instant, I wished, with every fiber of my being, that I could have talked to Ian, even if he would have never believed me.