Let It Be Me

Clay Morrow had gotten an earful from his wife when he called to let her know what had happened to Austin. She argued when he told her to stay put until they needed her, but Clay had been adamant. As soon as the prospect brought the key by, however, she was out the door without a moment's hesitation.

There was no saving the spaghetti, so she threw it out, rinsing the pan and the plate and setting them in the dishwasher. Then, she went to the bedroom to get a bag together for Austin and saw the phone in pieces on the floor. She picked those up and threw them away, then dug out a small duffel bag and filled it with everything she thought Austin might need for the next few days. If they needed more things, Gemma would retrieve them for her.

Gemma directed the Cadillac to the clubhouse, anxious to see for herself that Austin was going to be all right. She parked and nearly ran inside; Jax stopped her before she could get back to the bedroom.

"She's asleep in my room," he explained. "That painkiller knocked her out."

"Is she really okay?"

Jax shrugged. "She's knocked around, that's for sure. Cracked ribs, bruised face. Broke a bone in her hand and her wrist punching one of them who apparently had a metal plate in his jaw."

"Oh shit," Gemma said, shaking her head. "Was she pretty upset?"

Jax shook his head. "Nah, she was actually pretty calm. More pissed off that they got the better of her, I think."

"That's better than panicking, I guess."

"Mom," Jax said, standing from the couch. "Where'd she get the gun?"

Gemma frowned. "What gun?"

"The one she pointed at them when they came into the apartment? They took her from her hold, but Bobby found it under the bed."

"I don't know," Gemma replied.

Jax smirked. "You're a horrible liar."

Gemma sighed. "She asked me where she could get one for protection and without the cops knowing. I gave her one of mine."

"You have to tell me these things."

Gemma crossed her arms over her chest. "Actually, I don't have to tell you anything about her, Jackson. It's not like she's your old lady."

Jax nodded, falling back to the couch and running a hand over his face. "Yeah, that's been made pretty clear. I fucked it up, Mom. I'm trying to fix it, but it's making me realize how much of a change it would be from the life I have now. I already re-think things – what would Austin think if I did this? What if Austin found out about that? She doesn't trust me, anyway. Says that being with me, there would be things I have to omit that would cause a gap between us and she doesn't want that."

"Then close the gap, son. Just tell her what she wants to know and let her decide if she wants to deal with it or not. You can't make the decision for her, and you can't push her away in the process if she doesn't adapt quickly," Gemma told him. "Trust me. Your mother has a lot of experience in the old lady department."

Jax smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Mom. She's probably in need of another pain killer – you want to take it to her? There's already a bottle of water next to the bed."

"She's in your bed?" Gemma said, raising her brow.

"Yeah, and she's half-clothed in my t-shirt," Jax warned. "Nothing shady, I just wanted her to be comfortable."

Gemma just shook her head. "You're really hard up for this girl, aren't you?"

Jax didn't say anything or even look at her; that's how Gemma knew she was right.

.:.

Austin startled awake, trying to get her eyes to focus on the person sitting next to her on the bed. She let out a sigh of relief when she realized it was Gemma.

"You scared the shit out of me," Austin breathed. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Few hours, I think. How do you feel?" Gemma inquired.

Austin grimaced as she sat up. "Sore. Achy. My ribs actually hurt the worst. Mother fuckers and their steel-toed boots."

"Don't you worry, baby. They'll get theirs."

"I don't doubt that at all," Austin said with a ghost of a smile. "I'm surprised Jax isn't out there looking for them with the others."

"Well, I don't doubt he was pretty torn between looking after you and finding the ones who did this and beating them to within an inch of their lives. I think he's upset with himself that he didn't get there faster."

Austin shook her head. "It isn't his fault."

Gemma handed her a pain pill and the water bottle. Austin swallowed it down and let out a deep breath.

"Gemma, has Jax said anything to you about me and him, you know, being together?"

"We've talked about it."

"And?"

Gemma looked Austin straight in the eye. "Jax doesn't really know what to think about you, Austin. He was so against you being here in the first place, and I think you took him by surprise."

"He took me by surprise, I know that for sure. I just can't get over all the secrets and shit like that. I don't want to wonder when he's on a run if some sweet buy caught his attention or if he's laying dead somewhere when I didn't even know he was leaving."

"Give him a chance, baby. I'm sure Jax is just as confused as you are, but I have never seen my son look at a girl the he looks at you. Never."

"And how's that?"

Gemma sighed. "Like he's Superman and you're kryptonite."

Austin couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Gemma."

"Of course. Get some rest. I'll be out here with Jax for a bit before I go home. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks," Austin replied just before her eyes shut again.

.:.

Jax finished his brief phone conversation and turned to Gemma.

"They found Alvarez. He claims he has no idea about Austin's attack, but has a good idea who would do it for pay and without his approval. He's tracking those guys down and will deliver at least the one with the metal jaw to us in the next couple of days."

"Good. Those bastards need to learn," Gemma stated. "She just had another rpain pill so she should be out for a while. She'll hurt way more tomorrow than today. I'll come by and help her clean up, but make sure someone is around for her as much as possible."

"I will," Jax promised.

"Good boy. As for you and Austin, just give her time, Jax. She wants to trust you, and you have to show her that she can."

That gave Jax some hope. "Thanks, Mom."

He walked her out to her car and let out a deep breath as the taillights disappeared from sight. His mother's words made him think. Austin's words made him think. He knew that being with Austin meant a lot more than stripping off his clothes every night and leaving without a word the next morning. Austin was going to have to make some changes, and he was going to have to make some changes. There was only one way to find out if it was worth it.

He was sure she was sleeping, but maybe she was awake enough to talk to him about it again. If not, he'd make sure he got the chance the next day. Whenever the chance came, he decided he needed to be there for it. He had to protect her by being close to her; someone else would have to take care of the Mayans. If other club business came up, he'd only go if necessary. They all loved Austin, surely they'd understand.

Jax shut down the light of the main room of the clubhouse and headed back for his bedroom. He expected the hallway to be dark except for maybe light coming from under the prospects' room door, but the light was actually coming from his room where Austin was sleeping.

Frowning, he made sure his gun was accessible; who could have possibly gotten to her just in the time he walked Gemma to the car? Somebody already in the clubhouse, he thought.

Sure enough, he could see Dougie just a few steps into the room as he came around the corner. Rage filled every inch of Jax's body and he grabbed for the prospect, throwing him out into the hallway and wailing on him, one punch after the other.

"Stop! Stop! Please!" Dougie yelled. "I thought I heard something in the room, I was just checking on her!"

Jax stopped mid-punch and put Dougie into a headlock. "That's a little convenient, don't you think? The other day you're asking to date her, and now when I'm going you suddenly hear something in the room? Don't fucking lie to me!"

"I swear," Dougie said, nearly crying.

Thinking that perhaps the protective feelings he had over Austin had gotten the best of him, he dropped Dougie to the ground. "Get the hell out of here. I don't give a fuck where you stay tonight, but I suggest you be here for church tomorrow. The club will decide if you stay or go."

Dougie couldn't get out of the clubhouse fast enough. Jax waited until he heard the door shut to put his gun back in the waistband of his pants.

"Jax?"

He cursed under his breath and walked into the room. "It's all right, Austin. Everything's fine."

"What was all that about?"

Jax pulled off his hoodie and t-shirt, then put the gun on the nightstand and dropped his jeans to the floor. "I walked Gemma out to the car, came back, and Dougie was in here. Did he touch you?"

"No. I didn't even know he had come in." Austin paused. "I don't like him, Jax. I don't want him near me. I try not to ask for much …"

"Don't worry," Jax assured her, climbing into the bed. "He won't be getting anywhere near you so long as I can help it. Has he said something to you before?"

"He just … reminds me of someone."

Jax nodded. "All right. Are you okay with me being in the bed too?"

"So long as you keep your hands to yourself."

"You can never get away without a cynical comment for me, can you?" Jax smirked, finding it kind of adorable.

"I'm just saying," Austin replied, smirking back. "But no, I don't mind."

"Good." He pushed her hair away from her face once again and looked down to the brown-green eyes looking back at him. "I know I messed up, Aus. I know you're scared to be with me, but I'm scared too. Scared of messing up and not having you at all."

"More honesty," Austin commented. "Feel like I'm getting a special deal because I'm hurt or something."

"Could be," Jax agreed. "But I mean it."

"I know you mean it now."

"And I'll mean it tomorrow," he whispered. "You'll see."

.:.

And that's how they slept for the next week until Austin felt well and capable enough to get up and around on her own. Gemma would come by in the morning to help her bathe and get dressed. For the first few days, Austin only felt like sleeping. Once the pain started to recede and she didn't need the pain killer throughout the day, cabin fever hit her hard. Everyone worked during the day, so it wasn't like she could get out much.

Finally, a week after the Mayan incident, Austin got herself up, grimaced through a shower as her ribs were still a little sore, and got dressed in her work clothes.

"What are you doing?" Jax asked.

"Going to work."

He frowned and ran ahead of her, blocking the door. "I don't think so."

"Jax," Austin huffed. "I cannot spend another day in this clubhouse by myself. Please just at least let me hang out in the garage and pretend to be at work."

He considered it carefully. "All right. But I see you lifting anything heavier than a socket wrench and you're right back in here."

Austin was so ecstatic, she actually hugged him and kissed his cheek on her way out the door. Although they had been sharing the same bed for the seven nights, Jax had barely touched her, and she certainly hadn't reached out to him. No more conversations had been held regarding the relationship. The hug and the kiss – even on the cheek – was the most contact they'd had the whole time.

By the end of the work day though, Jax wished he had pushed the issue. Maybe she'd be his old lady by now and he could have a say in what she did – although knowing Austin, being an old lady wasn't going to stop her stubbornness one bit. At least then they would stay together, be it at the clubhouse or her place. At any rate, by the end of the day she had Clay convinced it was all for her to go back to her apartment.

"We don't even know where Dougie is," Jax argued. "We don't know why those Mayans targeted her. We're just going to let her go back to the lions' den?"

Clay shook his head. "Look, Jax. I'm a tough guy, you know that. Even your mother has trouble getting stuff out of me sometimes. If I had a daughter though, I imagine she'd be like Austin. She'd look at me with those big eyes like Austin does, and I'd be putty in her tiny little hands."

"So you're choosing to spoil her over keeping her safe?"

"If I didn't think she'd be really safe, I wouldn't let her go. Alvarez took care of his guys as far as any further attacks, for any reason. As for Dougie, I think you probably spooked him and he probably is staying out of the way thinking he's out. You want to try to talk her into staying, be my guest."

Jax gritted his teeth and headed to his room in the clubhouse. Austin was almost done packing her things.

"You're not talking me out of this, Teller," she said without turning around.

"How'd you know it was me?"

Austin stopped to look at him. "You weren't even going to let me get out to the garage today, I knew you weren't going to be happy about me going home. Who else was going to come stomping into the room while I'm packing?"

Well, she had him pegged. It cooled his anger and he tried a softer approach. "Austin, please. Stay until we at least know where Dougie is and we can put a tail on him. You yourself said you didn't like him."

Austin shook her head. "I don't belong here, Jax. I'm just taking up space you guys don't even have. I'm sure you'd like to have your bed to yourself." She shouldered her bag and shrugged. "Look, it's not like I'm not going to be around. I'm just going home right now to drop off my stuff and get cleaned up, then I'm going to Gemma and Clay's for supper again. I'm not just going to be a sitting duck alone in my apartment."

"You mean when you're sleeping alone and unaware of what's going on?"

Austin sighed. "Remember when I told you I didn't need you to be my hero, Jax? I wasn't just trying to be tough. I have a brother here, in case you forgot. I'm not trying to be a bitch or to fight with you and I appreciate everything you've done for me since I got here. Thing is, it just isn't your job to keep me safe."

He wanted to argue with her, but it all seemed so pointless just then. She wasn't budging, so he just had to let her go.