The Devil's Tongue.

“You’re pathetic.”

He took another shot.

“You’re such a fucking waste of time, of fucking talent. You’re throwing it all away and you don’t even care.”

He took a long drag before his shaky hand took the bottle in his hand to pour himself another shot of whiskey. The ash falling upon the cream colored carpet as he grabbed the shot in his hand tossing it back like it was merely water. And at this point, that’s exactly how it tasted.

John O’Callaghan closed his tired eyes before falling down on the floor. He didn’t notice the ash falling down on his chest before he brought the stick of cancer to his lips inhaling the sweet chemicals into his lungs and then exhaling the cloud up to the ceiling of the musty hotel room that was his home for the night, maybe longer.

He opened his eyes noticing the smoke all gathering up around him. He took another drag before putting it out on the carpet below him. The burnt stench met his nose. He let out a sigh as he reached for the whiskey. At this point he wasn’t even going to bother with a glass. He brought the bottle to his lips taking in the harsh liquor that went down his throat with a burning sensation. He let out a groan before placing the bottle beside him.

He hoped the liquor would kill the voices in his head but it only made them grow stronger, louder.

All her heard were voices.

Her voice.

“John,” she said with a sigh as the tears streamed down her face. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

John just ignored her cries as he stripped out from his drunken clothes and then stumbled into the bed that they once shared.

“I’m trying to have a conversation.”

“And I’m not.”

She let out a sigh before running her fingers through her messy blond hair. “Do you enjoy this?”

John rolled up from bed, his bloodshot eyes turning up to her. “What the fuck are you talking about Alexandra?”

He watched the girl he once would do anything for, the girl he once was in love with cry in front of him. Tears falling from her perfect face once would make his whole body go weak and he would forget about everything and everyone expect for her but things changed.

“Nothing,” she spoke through tears before looking down at the bags on the floor. “I’m leaving,” she spoke through tears.

John was used to this threat; he grew tired of her worthless promises. He just rolled his eyes before falling down in the bed in a complete drunken mess.

“Lock the door behind you.”


That was the last time he saw Alexandra Fuller.

At the sound of the front door locking and slamming didn’t even get John out of his drunken haze. He didn’t even bother to open his eyes. If he would have known what the future held, he would have gotten out of that bed. He would have pleaded with her. He would have made her stay.

But he didn’t.

And she was gone.

John took the bottle in his hand taking another swig from it. It had been a month exactly since he last saw those hazel eyes. It seemed like the days all blended and faded together.
It was the alcohol.

It was the drugs.

It was the hate he had towards himself and the person he had become.

Alexandra Fuller watched John O’Callaghan change right before her eyes. The once happy go lucky boy that she met years ago turned into something dark and hateful.

She watched the boy that she loved go straight to hell. The devil, in the form of whiskey, found him and created non-existent problems around him. He was searching for pain and unhappiness. He was searching for Misery and it found him in the form of loneliness, a bottle of whiskey and a pack of smokes.

Those were his friends now.

“I love you John O’Callaghan.”

He closed his weary eyes as the world spun in high speed. He could hear her voice breathing down his neck making his body weak and tired.

“You know,” she spoke rolling on her side as their fingers laced together, perfectly. “I love when you’re on tour.”

John raised an eyebrow with a hurt expression on his face. “Well shit, thanks babe.”

Alexandra merely smiled in his direction as she pressed her full lips to his. “Not because you’re not away from me,” she said pressing her body closer to his as John wrapped his arms tighter around her firm body. “But because I miss you so fucking much and when I get to see and when we get these kind of moments, it makes everything so perfect,” she spoke looking deep into his eyes. “Makes me realize that you’re it for me, you’re the one,” she said as John’s lips turned up into a smile before placing his lips against hers.

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I don’t know man,” she said flicking at his nose. “You sure did win big with me,” she said as John chuckled at her words.

“I sure did.”


John O’Callaghan tried to shake his memories, the good ones. He didn’t want to be happy, he didn’t deserve it. The sound of his phone ringing was ignored once again. He could only image the amount of missed calls, texts from everyone. But he didn’t care. He was miserable and he deserved it.

“You’re a real piece of work!”

John just rolled his eyes as he walked ahead of the girl. “Always fucking drunk,” she nagged as John continued to make his way to the truck. “Fuck ridiculous John, it’s like you love being a mess.”

“Maybe I do.” His green eyes met her hazel ones. “Maybe I like being miserable, maybe I fucking like being drunk. Did you ever think of that?”

Alexandra looked up at him before shaking her head. “Who likes to be miserable John?”

“Me.”

She let out a chuckle before rolling her eyes. “This broken and misunderstood musician thing will only get you so far,” she said throwing his keys at his chest. “You’re going to lose everything that makes you happy and then you’ll be completely miserable.”

The sounds of the door knocking only took John out of his deepest thoughts. He didn’t say anything but continued to lay there on the floor.

“Leave me alone.”

He closed his eyes as the world around him spun. He didn’t even notice the door opening. He didn’t notice the wondering eyes as the tears sprung from her eyes.

“John.”

There was her voice again.

“Stay away,” he spat rubbing at his head. “Stay away!” he said with a bitter laugh. “You’re not welcome anymore!”

When he opened his eyes, he was met with hazel ones. He closed and opened his eyes again, hoping like many times before the figure would disappear but there she stood.

“I’m going fucking insane,” he laughed as he stumbled to get up. “I’m going fucking crazy,” he said as he stood on his feet pacing the room.

“John, what are you doing?”

He could hear her cry in her voice like many times before but this time he felt weak. He took a deep breath as the tears sprung from his face. He looked at the beautiful girl in front of him.

“Alexandra,” he spoke as the girl nodded her head. “You’re really here?” he asked in a drunken blur as he got closer placing his cold hands on her face.

“You’re freezing,” she spoke helping him up on the bed. “Here,” she said lifting the burned blanket and wrapped it around his body. “Better?” she asked rubbing at his sides.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Alexandra closed her eyes before looking into his eyes. “You need help.”

“I need you.”

She felt a tear fall down her face before she shook her head. “You need to stop this,” she spoke looking up at him. “You need to stop looking for misery, John,” she spoke looking into his eyes. “You need to let yourself be happy.”

John only let the tears fall from his face as his body shook from a drunken bliss. “Let’s go home.”

He nodded his head as he let the girl drag him out from the hotel room and into her car. She took him away from the place. As he sat in the car, his body shaking and his eyes on the girl beside him he realized what he was hiding from, what he was trying to run from.

His own sweet misery.

And she was sitting right next to him.