Mirror Image

SHEA POV

I'd won the award for singer, but I hadn't even paid attention. I was just…ugh it's so cliche.

I was in love…

And it was with the most amazing guy in the whole entire fucking world.

I studied his face from where I was curled into his side. He was so perfect. Just…everything. He seemed to know I was looking because he turned to look at me and smiled.

Could life get anymore perfect?

I felt high…but it was a better high than when I was using.

God I'm being such a girl…

"You tired? You didn't sleep much last night." Jacky asked.

"Nah, I'm okay." I smiled at him. He leaned down and caught my lips in his and I almost died.

"Awe, look at the lovebirds." Ashley laughed. I looked across to where he'd just seated himself. "Hey, Radke, you guys going to the party tonight?"

"Maybe." He shrugged. "How much longer until we get to the hotel?"

"We just stopped for some McDonald's. Andy, Jake, and CC are getting a load for everyone." He said. "We'll

"Sounds good." He nodded.

We didn't have a show today. It was about eleven in the morning and I guess we're getting McDonald's for breakfast.

Andy hopped on the bus waving four bags around. Jake and CC followed with more bags and drinks.

"You want a coffee?" Jacky asked.

"Yes please." I nodded, I was still a little tired. I hardly slept at all last night. No, not because of that, because I was giddy.

Is this what love feels like? Fuck, I love it!

A coffee was slipped into my hands and I smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Hey, Shea, you wanna hang out on our bus?" Andy asked. "Jacky can come too." He stuck his tongue out at me.

Jacky looked at me with a "sure, why not?" and I nodded.

"Cool." I smiled. He held his hand out and helped me up. Jacky followed us all off the bus. I sipped my coffee as we headed towards the BVB bus.

XXX -a week or two later- XXX

"Hey! Thanks for coming to the show!" I smiled at the girl in front of me. "What's your name?"

"Jen." She smiled shyly.

"Well, hi, Jen!"

"What can we do for you?" Ronnie asked. Ryan and Mika were pushing each other around like four year-olds again right behind him. They always did this at signings.

"Can you sign my CD?" She blushed.

"Of course!" Derek laughed.

While Ronnie and the others were doing that I started talking to the next girl.

We had had an early show today and my band wasn't up for a signing so I hung around the Falling in Reverse one just because. It was like…four now, so a really early show. We were going to stay in a hotel tonight which was good, the last time we stayed in a hotel was our day off nearly two weeks ago.

I signed a few more autographs before getting up, there was like one more tiny group of people in the line and I needed to stretch.

"Can I get a picture?" One of them asked.

"Uh…" My eyes widened, yeah okay, I've never actually been asked for a picture. Shut up, we're still not like amazingly popular!

Jacky got up too and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"H-how 'bout with the both of us then?" I chuckled, trying to hide my nerves.

She nodded and the whole lot of 'em just walked right up, minus one, and took their picture with us.

I feel awkward.

Finally, they left, and we were free to go.

"You're so awkward!" Derek laughed at me.

"Are you scared of people or something?" Ryan asked.

"Sometimes…" I mumbled, embarrassed.

"Who isn't sometimes?" Jacky murmured.

Sometimes it was annoying that he was so quiet, even around the guys. It made it harder for him to stick up for me. But I mean, I liked it because I like sticking up for myself. It makes me feel stronger.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

Jacky pressed his lips to mine softly.

"Come on, let's get back to the bus. We're leaving soon." He wrapped his arm around me and walked me towards the busses.

"Hotel night, can't wait." I sighed, "A real bed."

"I know, hotel nights are the best." He agreed.

"Are we bunking together?" I looked at him.

"Probably." He nodded.

"Do you think--"

He sighed and looked down at me with a clouded expression.

"Shea, I--"

"Jacky, you won't be hurting me." I whined. I know I sound like a total whore, we've only been dating like a month or less and I'm begging the dude for sex. It's not so much I want to have sex though…I just…

It's like he doesn't want me.

Oh, shit, that's sounds like I stole it from Stephanie Meyer doesn't it? Whoops. Well, it's true. It's like he's gay or something or like he just really doesn't like me and won't tell me and ugh…

Damn insecurities.

"Maybe I want to wait." He kissed me softly again.

I made a face.

"You're lying."

"Okay, yeah, I am." He mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. "Shea, I just don't want to…I…oh don't look at me like that." I gave him my sad eyes. I don't even need to pout.

"Can we try?" I reached up on my tip toes and nipped his neck. "You know you want to."

He groaned.

"You don't even know what you're getting yourself into." He turned and tugged my ear with his teeth.

I grinned.

"That's a yes."

"That's a let's get on the bus before it leaves." He shook his head, but I could see an amused smile on his face. I don't find this amusing.

I'm concerned! Okay, I know he's not a teenager…but what dude in this century does not want to fuck his girlfriend? Like, really? Honestly? Who?!

Well, clearly Jacky Vincent, lead guitarist of Falling in Reverse would be that one, strange man.

JACKY POV

This girl is going to be the death of me. This girl who's hand I'm holding as we get on my band's tour bus is going to get me killed.

Jesus Christ, I told Ronnie we wouldn't have sex.

He's going to fucking kill me if I do…

I still remember that day, that night rather…after the song she wrote...

"Okay, I still approve, like I said. Just…you're a douche. Don't hurt her. You sure as hell better treat her right. Take care of her in sickness and in health and--"

"They're not getting married, Ronnie." Ryan rolled his eyes.

"I want my little sister to have a good life, she's been through hell and back thus far."

"Ronnie, I promise." I assured him, "I'll keep her safe--"

"And absolutely no sex. Do you hear me, Vincent? I don't care if she isn't a virgin. I don't care if she wants it. If you put your dick anywhere near her I will fucking castrate you. If you get her pregnant you will be six feet under. Do you hear me?"

My eyes widened.

"I'll go to jail again if it's for something actually worth it, like that little girl you're holding in your arms. Don't fuck up." And he walked away.

Yeah, I wouldn't put any of that past him.

And I kinda already broke that…well…I mean…

Ugh, damn it, it was her fault.

But we haven't had sex, and I can tell she's irritated by it. She's told me so millions of times.

And now we're sharing a hotel room for a night I mean…

Fuck my life, I want to fuck my underage girlfriend.

My God I'm a fucking pedophile.