Mirror Image

SHEA POV

"Just act natural."

"There's a camera following my every move." I hissed under my breath. JJ looked up at me nervously and I tried to fake a smile.

Jacky chuckled.

"Come on, rock star, you've done photo shoots." He nudged me. "How about that new album booklet?"

Yeah, we just dropped our new album. We're supposed to tour for it soon. I don't know what to do about that though, with JJ and all.

"I wasn't with a baby."

"Well now you are, get acting!" Sammi shouted at me from behind her little lens.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

FLASH

"What was that for?!" I whined.

"For being childish." She smirked, "Get moving."

JJ gurgled, oblivious to what was going on, and reached for my nose. He succeeded in grabbing it in his tiny hand. My eyes widened and I puffed out my cheeks. He giggled happily.

FLASH

"See, like that!" She called.

I rolled my eyes before continuing with the antics just to please her.

***

"JJ, come on, work with me here." I pleaded, trying to change his diaper. "Hold still, please?"

I couldn't take it any more, it's been ten minutes.

"You need help?" Jacky asked, concerned, walking into the room.

"I can't get him to hold still." I shrugged, "I'll get it."

"You're exhausted, yesterday was a crazy day and you've been up half the night with a fussy baby." He nodded to the door. "Go get some sleep."

"You have to go to the studio today, I've got this."

"I'll take him today."

"Jacky, you can't just do that." I sighed.

He moved me out of the way and finished the diaper before picking JJ up.

"He doesn't have teeth yet." I commented.

"I didn't get mine until I was almost a year old." Jacky shrugged, still carrying JJ and leading me down the hall.

"I guess."

"Go to sleep, Shea."

"No!" I frowned.

"Shea, go to sleep!" He pushed me gently towards the bed.

"Leave JJ with me."

"No." He shook his head.

"You don't trust me with him?" I snapped. Whoa, where did that come from.

"You're tired, love." He soothed, "Get some rest."

JACKY POV

I was worried, honestly, I haven't seen her like this since…since before JJ was born actually.

"Shea, please get some rest. I'll take JJ, Ronnie can watch him while I'm tracking. It's not a big deal. He loves his uncle."

"Just leave him here!" She reached out for him.

"Love, you're tired, I just want you to sleep." I kissed her forehead and left, closing the door. I heard an angry scream, muffled by a pillow. JJ's tired eyes widened.

"It's okay, lil' man, mum is just tired like you are. She needs some rest, you're quite the little devil sometimes." That seemed to satisfy him and he tugged on my lip ring with his hand. I untangled his fingers from my face and laughed. "Let's go to work."

***

"That was sick, Vincent." Ronnief grinned. I laughed and nodded, exiting the booth after the…maybe thirtieth take of the same song.

"JJ, look! It's Daddy!" Ronnie pointed me out to my son, who was on his lap. "Oh, I know, I don't want to give you to that mean man either."

JJ giggled.

"Oh, shush up, Radke." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, Jacky's standing up for himself!" Ryan laughed, "Somebody, mark the day on the calendar."

"On it!" Derek laughed.

"They're all meanies." I told JJ, careful with my language. I know…well we all know Shea isn't. I figure…I could try to be a better example.

"We're not meanies, JJ, don't listen!" Ronnie gasped. JJ smiled toothlessly.

"I've got to go, man." I looked at the clock. "Shea didn't want me taking him here, but she was exhausted. I figure she probably wants him back."

XXX

SHEA POV

"Why are you here?" I leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"I wanted to apologize, please, I--"

"Jared, get the fuck off my property." I rolled my eyes, but it hurt. It still hurt so fucking much to just…to see him. I wanted so badly to just go back to how things were before we dated, when he was always there for me, when he was still my best friend.

"Jacky pop the question?" The sudden change in topic caught me off guard and I paused.

"No." I finally spoke.

"Well, good luck getting anyone to pop it." He smirked and turned around. I slammed the door and locked it before running to my room.

Breath. You need to breathe. You need to breathe and calm down. Don't do anything you'll regret.

"Shit, Shea, what's wrong?" I don't know when Jacky got home, or where JJ was, I don't know how long I'd been having a mental breakdown in the middle of my bed. "Love, what happened?" He pried my hands away from my face and I didn't miss the glance he threw at my wrists. That hurt more than anything.

"I didn't cut." I whimpered. "Why don't you trust me?"

"I do, I want to make sure you're okay, love." He soothed. I pulled away.

"Why do you put up with my shit?" I snapped, still shaking from my breakdown.

"I love you." He whispered.

"How?"

"Because you're the most amazing girl I've met in my entire life."

"Do you really want to marry me?" I whispered, "Or is it just because of--"

"When we're ready to even consider marriage an option, love." He kissed my forehead, "Right now it's not even in our mind. You're only sixteen. You haven't seen any of the world--" He shook his head. "We're not ready."

"But will you?" I asked.

"I gave you that didn't I?" He nodded to my finger. "I love you enough to even consider marrying you, but you're not ready to have the weight of an adult life on your shoulders yet. Wait. We'll wait, together."

I bit my lip.

"Why are you so freaked out about this? Did Sammi upset you again?" He frowned.

"I-I-" I shook my head. "Never mind."

"Shea." He said sternly.

"Jared…came over." I whispered finally.

Jacky sighed and wrapped his arms around me.

"Fucking asshole."

I hiccuped a laugh.

"He doesn't deserve your tears." I nodded and snuggled into his chest.

"Why are you so understanding?" I asked, tears still falling. "I'm crying over my ex-boyfriend and you're holding me, you, my current boyfriend."

"He was the first person you ever really had a relationship with right?" Jacky shrugged. "I don't expect you to magically get over it."

"But it's been months."

"But it hurts." He whispered. "It fucking hurts to be left in the dust like you don't matter. I know. It's not something you get over."

I bit my lip.

"I want to get over it." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I want to stop being upset and irrationally thinking you'll just…up and leave. I want to be good enough for you."

"I promise, you are." He kissed my forehead, "You're too good for me."

I stayed silent for a moment.

"He's not." I finally said.

"What?"

"He's not an asshole. He's confused and stupid and I want to kill him…but he's a good person, he just doesn't know how to act…his life is near as fucked up as mine is…"

JACKY POV

Not going to lie, it hurt that she was defending him. But, he had been her friend. If there's anything I've learned about Shea, she's loyal. She'll be by your side to the death, even if she hates to admit it.

"But, you handle it so much better, love." I kissed her forehead again. "And he doesn't deserve your friendship, or your loyalty, or anything you've ever given him. But, you're the bigger person."

"He called me stupid and childish." She looked up at me.

"You're a kid." I gave her an amused smile. "And you're always trying to be happy for the rest of us. You're not childish, it's how you handle life. And you cheer everyone up and brighten everyone's day. I promise, you're not stupid and childish, you're just happy."

"I don't feel happy."

"No one expects you to always be happy, but you make the best of it."

She nodded.

"Come on, time to make dinner." I helped her up. She brushed herself off.

"I call making the pasta." She grinned. There, it doesn't take much to put that smile on her face anymore, I like it that way.

"Fine, I guess I'm making the sauce. Less work for me." I kissed her on the cheek and followed her to the kitchen.

"JJ's taking a nap?" She asked.

"Yeah, why?" I frowned, turning around.

"And we're worried about dinner?" She looked exasperated.

"You were just crying, now's not the time most--" She cut me off, tugging me down for a kiss, I complied mostly out of surprise.

"He's asleep."

"Shea, now is not--"

"It's as good a time as any. How often is there quiet time where neither of us have him, at the same time?"

She had a point.

Fuck, I'm going to Hell.

"Anyhow, it's like rehearsal, did you see the shots Sammi wants to get at the shoot tomorrow?"

"W-w-what?" I spluttered.

She smirked, that's the one thing all of them, Shea, Alyssa, and Ronnie, have in common, the damn smirk.

"It'll be fun!"

Fucking hell...