Somewhere Only We Know

The warm air enveloped the large city. My tank top and light jeans were nothing to ward off the heat. Yet Halyn was in his sweatshirt and heavy jeans, although he wore no shoes. He didn’t ever seem to have any sense of the temperature or weather.

Halyn never had common sense when it came to dressing himself. He wore clothes to go swimming and wore a bathing suit in the shower. I think he just didn’t like showing off any skin. I know that he was really uneasy about changing his underwear. I wasn’t quite sure if it was because he was self-conscious or just really paranoid that someone was always creeping on him. The weirdest thing about his dressing style though, was that he never wore shoes. And I mean never. I’m sure if it snowed he would, but it doesn’t snow that often in LA.

The fact that he could never uncover himself was kind of an impasse in our relationship, but I didn’t ever want to push him. So instead we led a pure and innocent love. A lot of our time was spent on the rooftop of our apartment building. No one else ever came up there so we had set up a little camp. There wasn’t much, but we had a TV and a chair. There were also some plants and useless things that I tried to fix up.

I always started fixing things and never finished. I’m the same way with relationships. That’s the way it always was, and that’s probably why most people end up leaving me. I think once something’s been broken it’s impossible for me to mend it. I can only hope that Halyn and I never come to that place because I care about him most of all the people I’ve ever come into contact with.

We’d been together for about three years and it was highly surprising to me. It was the longest amount of time anyone’s ever stuck around to deal with my socially awkward crap. Granted, Halyn and I didn’t come across many problems and when we did they weren’t anything that took an effort to fix. If they had been we’d have split a while ago.

But given the amount of time we’d been together it was a miracle we hadn’t come across any major problems yet. I knew one was due soon so I made sure to tread carefully and treat him even more perfectly than ever before, if that was possible.

I treasured Halyn so much and I think it would be the last straw if I lost him. Before he came around I didn’t have many friends and my relationships only lasted a couple of months. I don’t really understand how he can put up with me.

“The twins want us to hang out with them soon,” Halyn stated.

I sighed. They always made fun of me, and it was worse because there was double the torture and I swore they could read each other’s minds.

“Do I have to?” I pouted, but we both knew I would. I did anything that he wanted me to. And he did the same, but I never asked for much. I don’t really need much to please me. Halyn being happy is enough for me. Besides the twins only irritated me, they never did any more harm than that.

I reached up from my spot on the floor, expecting him to take my awaiting hand. He complied willingly, which I must admit wasn’t the smartest thing to do. It resulted in landing on top of me with a wide grin on his face, and I dragged his lips to mine for a tiny peck. Then I hauled both of us up and tugged him lightly down the many flights of stairs to the lobby. For some reason we never took the elevator, but thankfully it kept us somewhat in shape.

“Where are we going Sammy?”

I disregarded the question as I towed Halyn through the streets of LA. He would be able to tell by the familiar landmarks that we were going to our favorite café.

As we continued to walk I pulled Halyn into my side and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. In response his own arm snaked around my hips and I squeezed him lightly. There wasn’t much I could do to make my love shown to him, body language was one of the only ways.

“A small caramel latte with whipped cream, and a small black coffee,” I relayed to the worker, once we had arrived in the shop. Surprisingly I didn’t recognize her. I knew all of the employees here so she must be new. Not that it really matters; it’s just unexpected.

She fumbled to get our coffees while I picked out the exact change from my pocket and plopped it on the counter. As I reached around Halyn again I saw her eyeing us slightly, but decided it was my imagination. Finally she had finished with the order and I literally hauled Halyn to our corner table.

We both took two big sniffs of our coffee before sipping slightly on our hot drinks. A small stache of whipped cream resided on Halyn’s upper lip, just like it always did. We might be slightly redundant, but it didn’t really matter. Every time it was still just as cute as the first.

“I love you Sam.”

A smile played upon my lips as I returned the words. Each time he said those words made me happier than the last. Someday I would be so happy that I would burst into a million pieces. I imagined a light cracking through my ears and mouth, then slowly spreading through my body before I burst completely.

Halyn was the most important person to have ever entered my life. All I really wanted right now was to spend the rest of my life with him. I dropped out of college so I didn’t really do much. Sometimes I had jobs as a model, but that was rare. I also started writing some books, but to no surprise I didn’t finish them. The only solid job I had was painting buildings and stuff like that. I did work for a company, but I got a lot of time off. I really had nothing to do with my time other then find ways to spoil Halyn.

I didn’t need my money for much because Halyn paid the rent, seeing as he had a solid job as a professor. He also took care of all the food we needed. So I bought him excess things he didn’t really need, and didn’t necessarily use all the time. But it was always worth it to see his face light up. I don’t really think he cared that I didn’t have the best job.

“Let’s go see the twins now,” I suggested, knowing he really missed them. We hadn’t seen them for about a week. Just as I suspected he agreed and we set off.

***

“Did you finally decide to do something decent with your life?” two voices chimed at me. But they didn’t bother wasting any more of their attention on me for an answer. Instead they tackled Halyn into a big bear hug.

It was kind of depressing for me to see him with other people due to the fact that I had no friends. I was also a tad bit over-possessive. It was obvious that the twins weren’t interested in him like that, but how couldn’t I think they were? Halyn was too perfect for me to be the only one who wanted him.

The day was spent with the twins constantly hounding me, and Halyn being oblivious to it. Not that I blamed him, he was having fun with one while the other berated me. I was getting tired of it by the end of the day. I could tell I was almost at my explosion point.

“So Sam, how are you taking care of our little Hal? You know you can’t just rely on him to support you. It seems to me that you’re just using him as an excuse not to take responsibility,” Raven, the girl twin, asked.

I cracked at that comment. It was fine when they were accusing me of being a lowlife, but I would never take advantage of Halyn.

“Shut up! You stupid bitches have been at me all day and I’m sick of it. I don’t understand how such a nice guy like Halyn could ever be friends with people like you!” With that, I lunged forward, forgetting the fact that guys can’t hit girls. If it hadn’t been for Jason, the other twin, I would’ve lost all control.

“Come on Sam, let’s get you away from my sister and Hal, k?”

I let him lead me away. The only reason I looked back was to see his face. It was so broken and hurt that I wish I hadn’t looked at all.

Once Jason had led me to his apartment I broke down into tears. Even though I knew I had no right to cry in front of him it was helpless.

“Listen Sam, Ray went a little too far. But that doesn’t excuse you. On another note, Ray and I really like you and we just want you to live to your full potential. Sure, we could’ve been nicer about it, but we thought anger might actually drive you to do something. Anyway, Halyn deserves to be taken care of. His whole life he’s taken care of other people. His mom, his sister, his students. It’s in his nature, but I’m sure he needs a break. Try to give it to him? Now go home and sort things out with Hal, I’m sure he’s already left.”

I didn’t even bother to say a word to him. I just wiped the tears off my cheeks and went to face my fate like a man. I hesitated right before the door, before trying the handle. Thankfully it was unlocked, because I had forgotten my key. What I found was Halyn staring into nowhere on the couch. I broke my heart to see him so lifeless.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah I am.”

Both of our voices had the same empty tone in it. I think I knew what was happening next.

“I’ve paid the rent for the next two months, but after that you’re on your own. I’m moving in with the twins and I don’t want to see you anymore. You’ve depended on other people for too long and you have to start taking responsibility. Sam, I still love you,” he said, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks, “But I can’t be with you. Today I realized that you still act like a child and I need someone who acts the same age as me. I’m really sorry…”

“Halyn…you can’t do this,” I sobbed, “You’re the only person I really…care about. Please, please don’t leave me.”

He didn’t even say anything else, just came over and placed a light kiss onto my lips. Then he left me with my lips still burning from that goodbye kiss. And for the first time, I chased him.

“Wait!” I called desperately, grabbing his wrist. I pulled him into a passionate kiss and when I finally released him I whispered, “I love you…”

“Please let me go…”

My heart shattered as my grip loosened and Halyn ran to the elevator. We never used the elevator…

Slowly I made my way back into the apartment and stared at all of Halyn’s things that he hadn’t even bothered to take. I started packing them into a box, my heartache growing with each and every object packed away. By the time I was done the apartment was almost empty. The only things of his that I bothered to keep were his jacket and shampoo. Maybe it’s weird, but I wanted my hair to smell like him. I placed everything by the door for when he would come for it. Then I fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up the clock said it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I ran a hand through my mussed hair and let out a deep breath. Then I got up to the computer and opened up a long-forgotten file. My fingers diligently typed into the keyboard as the end of a story unraveled itself from my broken heart. There was nothing else for me to do.

The phone rang a couple of times and voicemails of my boss played through the speaker. But I just ignored them. I couldn’t deal with work or other people I just wanted to finish everything I hadn’t.

It took me two weeks to finish my book. It had already been written three quarters of the way. Then I trudged up the stairs to look at all the broken things cluttering me and Halyn’s…my place.

I started with the pot. I took the broken piece and some super glue and sat there for an hour, until I was sure it was dry. It wasn’t even that hard, so I don’t know why I’d never been able to do it before.

Next was the bicycle. That took more time, but I finished after three days. It was the same with the rest of the junk lying around. They all took different periods of time, but I finished them.

Then it was time to find myself another job. I only had two weeks left until the rent wasn’t paid. Someone had also ‘anonymously’ sent me food for the past six weeks. It was time I really learned to live on my own and support myself like Halyn had intended.

I automatically thought of that little café we always went to and decided that was the place for me to look first. I called to set up an interview. They set it for a couple days later. In the mean time I wanted to find a place to publish my book.

I found this really cool place and hurried there to show my book. Apparently I didn’t need an appointment, I just needed to drop off a copy and they would contact me in a couple days.

So I went home and tried to sleep, but Halyn kept haunting me until I finally passed out. The next few days went by slowly because I had nothing to distract me from my pain. Finally I went to the interview and landed the job. When I got home there was a new message and I secretly hoped it was from Halyn, but I knew it wouldn’t be.

“We are pleased to say that your book captured the hearts of our editors. We’ll have the book edited and published by next week if you want to set up an arrangement please call us back at this number.”

I did a tiny dance. Everything was going good, hopefully I would be able to get Halyn back.

***

About a week later I had a copy of my new book and was hired at the café. I wrapped the book carefully and headed off to the twin’s place. Setting the present down, I rang the doorbell and ran around the corner.

It seemed to be Raven who opened the door, but I couldn’t see.

“Hey Jay!” I heard her call, “Is Halyn here?”

“I’m right here,” the familiar voice stated and tears started to make their way down my cheeks.

“It’s for you.”

I heard the tearing of paper and then silence. I had no idea what was going on and it seemed to stay like that for the longest time. Finally I couldn’t take the suspense and I had to turn the corner.

I saw Halyn standing there with a huge smile on his face and tears running down his face.

“I missed you.”

He snapped his head up and ran into my arms, kissing me for what seemed like forever. I wish it was, because that’s the way I want forever to feel.

“Come on, let’s go back to our home.”

We walked slowly back and I brought him to our place on the roof. When he saw all the things that I’d repaired a wide grin spread across his face and I pulled him closer.

I loved him. I had missed his senseless dressing and the way he always took care of me. But I was going to take care of him too. Maybe I still didn’t have the best job, but I had come a lot farther than I’d ever been and that was what’s important.

I pulled Halyn into a sweet kiss and we stayed like that until I forgot who I was.

The book I had written lay on the table open to it's dedication page.