Endlessly, He Said
s e v e n
“How'd you meet?” Preston asks, eying me from the spot he claimed on my bed. My lip is taken between in my teeth as I nibble away at the skin, my nerves getting the better of me once again. Preston continues to watch me, awaiting his answer. I run my hand through my hair, bringing my thoughts back to the man Preston is speaking of: Alex.
With a sigh, I whisper out, “I-I truly have not ever m-met him...” My voice trails off, and a small silence takes over. Before long I add on, “Once I saw him at the café.. When...” Preston understands what I mean as I trail off, his eyes never leaving my person in a, sort of, creepy way.
“So he's stalking you?” I whimper slightly knowing this to be untrue. Why would he stalk me? I am nothing worth looking at yet he... My teeth bring my lip between them once more, nipping at the dead flesh as his image forces itself forward in my mind only to be pulled away by Preston speaking once again, “I want you to stay away from him.” Another whimper passes all while a small nod shows my answer. It is not as though I would ever see him again, I think, it were all chance—coincidence.
“P-Preston?” I ask after a moment of silence. He hums his response only for me to reply with a question of 'why?' He understands, as he always does, and wraps his arms around me in a friendly hug.
“I don't like the way he was looking at you,” I nod, though I know he was far from looking at me any differently than he would of any stranger.
.
His hands grab my hips forcing my body against the wall roughly. A whimper of disapproval floods out before I have time to process it and stop it from happening. Consequence, I think. His left hand pulls away from my hip, reaching up to grab my chin hard, knocking my head against the wall in the process. I keep back another whimper, knowing already of the things to come from sounds being made. His lips spew out words in our home language, same as always- never once spoken in English for those around to understand. He reminds me of all the things he loathes about me, reminding me that he finds me completely disgusting. I am repulsive, I think, agreeing with him fully. Though, I cannot fathom why he would degrade himself so much as to force this upon someone so beneath him on the chain, not even near anywhere close to being worth anything positive. Of course someone so high up could easily find someone more appealing, more compatible, far closer on the chain, and -dare I say- someone even... good at what he asks. All the 'favours' he has me do for him... I know I am no good. He reminds me, but sexual anything leaves me awkward. Who would want to do anything with someone like me? No-one, that's the answer. I'm a broken boy not worth anyone's time.
His words come back to focus and I nod, agreeing with all he has to say. My lips forming words of agreement, before he pushed on my shoulders, sending me to my knees in front of him. He unbuckles his belt all the while warning me that for my wrong doings he is going to be far from gentle. I nod, of course, wishing not to anger him more as none good comes from this.
All too soon his pants are down, and he is forcing himself into my mouth, disgusting sounds of approval emitting from his lips.
Why me? I question at first, going through the motions to pleasure him without much thought to the action. I have found over the years that it is easier to pretend it is not happening. For a moment I feel as though I don't deserve this sort of thing happening to me, but all too soon the familiar feelings pay their visit. I realise that it happens because I do deserve it. If I didn't it wouldn't happen to me. He wouldn't say the things he does, or force me to do as he says. He wouldn't touch me in anyway, but I know that I deserve this. That is the reason all this happens to me. If I were just a better son, better brother, better friend... If I were just a better person this wouldn't be happening to me.
He tugs extra hard on my hair, releasing his seed inside my mouth with a grunt of approval. Pulling away he reminds me to swallow. He smirks, putting his close back into place before reminding me of my place once more. I arrange my hair, flicking it across my eyes even more so than it already had been while I watch him leave the bathroom. Once the door is closed completely I crumble to the disgusting floor, pulling my knees close to me. Tears cascade down my cheeks, sniffles and whimpers passing my chapped lips all the while I pray to whatever may be that no one enters the -now- unlocked public restroom.
With a sigh, I whisper out, “I-I truly have not ever m-met him...” My voice trails off, and a small silence takes over. Before long I add on, “Once I saw him at the café.. When...” Preston understands what I mean as I trail off, his eyes never leaving my person in a, sort of, creepy way.
“So he's stalking you?” I whimper slightly knowing this to be untrue. Why would he stalk me? I am nothing worth looking at yet he... My teeth bring my lip between them once more, nipping at the dead flesh as his image forces itself forward in my mind only to be pulled away by Preston speaking once again, “I want you to stay away from him.” Another whimper passes all while a small nod shows my answer. It is not as though I would ever see him again, I think, it were all chance—coincidence.
“P-Preston?” I ask after a moment of silence. He hums his response only for me to reply with a question of 'why?' He understands, as he always does, and wraps his arms around me in a friendly hug.
“I don't like the way he was looking at you,” I nod, though I know he was far from looking at me any differently than he would of any stranger.
.
His hands grab my hips forcing my body against the wall roughly. A whimper of disapproval floods out before I have time to process it and stop it from happening. Consequence, I think. His left hand pulls away from my hip, reaching up to grab my chin hard, knocking my head against the wall in the process. I keep back another whimper, knowing already of the things to come from sounds being made. His lips spew out words in our home language, same as always- never once spoken in English for those around to understand. He reminds me of all the things he loathes about me, reminding me that he finds me completely disgusting. I am repulsive, I think, agreeing with him fully. Though, I cannot fathom why he would degrade himself so much as to force this upon someone so beneath him on the chain, not even near anywhere close to being worth anything positive. Of course someone so high up could easily find someone more appealing, more compatible, far closer on the chain, and -dare I say- someone even... good at what he asks. All the 'favours' he has me do for him... I know I am no good. He reminds me, but sexual anything leaves me awkward. Who would want to do anything with someone like me? No-one, that's the answer. I'm a broken boy not worth anyone's time.
His words come back to focus and I nod, agreeing with all he has to say. My lips forming words of agreement, before he pushed on my shoulders, sending me to my knees in front of him. He unbuckles his belt all the while warning me that for my wrong doings he is going to be far from gentle. I nod, of course, wishing not to anger him more as none good comes from this.
All too soon his pants are down, and he is forcing himself into my mouth, disgusting sounds of approval emitting from his lips.
Why me? I question at first, going through the motions to pleasure him without much thought to the action. I have found over the years that it is easier to pretend it is not happening. For a moment I feel as though I don't deserve this sort of thing happening to me, but all too soon the familiar feelings pay their visit. I realise that it happens because I do deserve it. If I didn't it wouldn't happen to me. He wouldn't say the things he does, or force me to do as he says. He wouldn't touch me in anyway, but I know that I deserve this. That is the reason all this happens to me. If I were just a better son, better brother, better friend... If I were just a better person this wouldn't be happening to me.
He tugs extra hard on my hair, releasing his seed inside my mouth with a grunt of approval. Pulling away he reminds me to swallow. He smirks, putting his close back into place before reminding me of my place once more. I arrange my hair, flicking it across my eyes even more so than it already had been while I watch him leave the bathroom. Once the door is closed completely I crumble to the disgusting floor, pulling my knees close to me. Tears cascade down my cheeks, sniffles and whimpers passing my chapped lips all the while I pray to whatever may be that no one enters the -now- unlocked public restroom.