We Are So Screwed

“I love nikes,” Blake said.

“Blake?”

“Huh?” She asked, still having a fucking shoegasm.

“Now is not the time.”

“Oh my simple simple Slater, even in a time of crisis there is time to appreciate and admire shoes.” She stood up and grabbed her shit, I was already waiting at the door by the time she had her shit together. “Let’s go.” We walked out to the parking lot. Bee was just chilling next to her Bugati. Blake walked up to the driver’s side, I hung back while she talked to Bee.

“May we?” I heard her ask.

He unlocked the doors to let us in. Blake and I climbed in, and she introduced us. “I’m Blake. I’m the bitch.” She said. “That’s Slate. She’s the nice one, until you piss her off,” she added, pointing to me.

“Blake doesn’t need to be pissed off. She dwells in an eternal vat of pissed offness.” I stated.

“Anyways my pissed offness is irrelevant. We’ve got some things to discuss. There’s one tiny itty bitty problem though,” I heard Blake say. She paused, she was probably having a mental fangasm over the fact that she was actually sitting in Bee. “I can’t tell you everything I know,” she finally said.

I stopped paying attention and started playing Tetris on my phone, I snapped back to reality when I heard my name.

“What I am about to tell you is going to make me sound insane, because it defies what humans are capable of. Slater and I aren’t from here,” I heard Blake explaining.

“The bitch doesn’t just mean we’re not from Tranquility either. We’re from a completely different dimension,” I said, thinking about how insane it sounded.

“With no clue how the fuck we got here,” Blake added.

“Trippy shit. Where we’re from is four years in the future, and Cybertronians, transformers are just a toy, comic, TV show, movie, franchise,” I explained.

“It was twenty-four yearlong franchise.”

“She was a huge fan. It was obnoxious she owned everything. Plus you were one of her favorites although S-” She cut me off.

“ANYWAYS, we know what’s supposed to happen the next four years, and I know practically everything about you. You’re Bumblebee. You’re the youngest of the Autobots. You’re a scout. Megatron damaged your vocal processor and ripped off your arms. You’re the sole survivor of the attack on the youth sectors. You want nothing more than prove to the others that despite your youth you are a critical part of the team.”

He started up his engine and started driving, not bothering to respond. He stopped when he got to a field with no one in sight.

He opened his doors and let us out. I was a bit sketched out at the fact that he was letting us out, and I had no guarantee he wouldn’t leave our asses there, but Blake knows all things transformers, and she trusted him, so I didn’t voice my concern. We got out, and I followed Blake’s lead and took a few steps away from him. He transformed, it was fucking awesome if I say so myself, and knelt down in front of us.

I was torn between being extremely excited, and sketched the fuck out, seeing Bee transform was sick, but Blake and I were putting ourselves into the middle of a war, not so sick.

I looked away from Bee to see Blake staring in compete and total awe. “This is fucking awesome.”

“What… can you tell… me?” Bee asked.

“The All-Spark needs to be destroyed,” Bee glared at her, it was actually quite frightening, for how adorable he is.

I looked at Blake, “You are shit at explaining things,” I pointed out.

She shrugged and went back to looking at Bee.

“Do you even believe that we’re not spewing bullshit?” I asked the bot.

“Willing to… believe anything… at this point…”

“Well that’s promising” Blake said. He glared at her again, but it’s not like it phased her, bitch is about as deep as a puddle, she enjoys being stared at.

“Blake is right,” I said. “The All Spark has to be destroyed. It’s the only way to end the war. The decepticons can’t be completely defeated. Peace will never be restored to Cybertron,” I explained, I only knew this shit because Blake never shut up about it.

“But you can find a new home. Here on Earth,” she said.

“Optimus will even say that’s how it has to end. Now you really only have two options here.” Her voice went from semi-bitch to full out hard-ass-get-shit-done mode.

“Here comes the bitch,” I said, sighing.

“You can either let us help you and we can save so many more lives or you can just go and continue the way things are going to go naturally. Do you know what that entails?” She asked, before answering herself. “Oh wait you don’t, but I do. What I know is that if things continue the way we’ve seen things Jazz is going to die. You are going to have your legs blown off and the cube is going to be destroyed either fucking way.”

Bee revved his engine; I could tell he was getting pissed.

“Bee, I know you’re a very kind and sweet mech. You’re actually really fucking adorable. Don’t try to play hard ass with me, because it’s not gonna fucking work. Now I have been interrogated, drugged, in and out of the damn hospital, my house has been searched and all my shit either hasn’t been invented yet or I just don’t own, so give me a fucking sign here.” She scowled at the mech. ‘This shit isn’t gonna get us anywhere with him,’ I thought.

I tried to get her to realize that. “Blake, chill the fuck out,” I said, not earning the slightest reaction. “If you keep looking like that then you’re going to get wrinkles,” I said, knowing that would make her calm her damn tits.

I smirked in satisfaction as I saw her smooth her face out.

“You’re rendezvousing with the other bots in an alley tomorrow night,” I looked at the bot. “We’re not exactly sure where, but we can figure that out on our own, but we’re going to be there, whether you accept our help or not. If you don’t we’re just gonna find another way. We know that the humans survive. We want to make sure as many Autobots survive as possible.”

His gaze softened as he looked at the two of us. “Meet us… behind… manufacturing… district… ”

I figured I should give him a heads up so I briefly explained how he would have to get Sam, chase his ass, fight Barricade, and how Sam’s future girlfriend would end up with them.

“When you fight Barricade, I suggest you kill him. If you don’t he’ll be a pain in the ass later on,” Blake added.



“WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?!” Blake screeched.

‘Lost,’ I thought. I added “Because you have no fucking sense of direction.” out loud.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP SLATER! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Blake screamed in irritation.

“Who the fuck can’t find a whole damn district?” I asked.

She turned and slapped me upside the head, not an uncommon occurrence, but irritating nonetheless.

“Really Bitch?” I asked anyway.

“I told you to shut the fuck up. It’s not my fault that big ass truck has a stupid ass driver tipped in the round about. Who the fuck is that stupid though? Was he going fucking ninety? At least there would’ve been sign telling us where the fuck to go then.” While she was ranting I was looking at buildings and street signs.

“Turn left here,” I said, recognizing a building.

The bitch actually fucking listened to me and we ended up on the main road. “New plan,” Blake said.

“What?” I asked. Blake wasn’t one for changing her plans.

“We walk,” she said as she pulled over.

“Did I just here what I think I heard? Blake Renne DeVille is going to walk somewhere,” I asked incredulously.

“Suck my dick,” she said, getting out of the car and onto the sidewalk. “Okay, where the fuck are we?” she asked me, like I would have the slightest fucking idea.

“I don’t fucking know.”

“Rhetorical bitch.” She rolled her eyes. “Alright let’s just fucking walk until we fucking figure something out.”

We were only walking for about five minutes before I saw a sign. “Look!” I pointed to the sign.

It was rusty as fuck but I could make out that it said ‘Brinker back lot Stay out.’ Apparently so could Blake, because she said, “Thank fucking God. It’s getting dark and they’re gonna land soon,” as we made our way over to it. It was more of an alley than a lot, but that’s irrelevant. We wondered down it looking for the meeting place. We knew we found it when we saw the beat up car Jazz used as a chair in the movie. I saw Blake look around with a disgusted look on her face. “This is fucking gross. They couldn’t have picked a damn field or something.”

“Will you quit your fucking bitching?!”

“Listen I’m not some art kid, who fucking dives in dumpsters and digs around in junk yards for inspiration.”

“I don’t dumpster dive, and I at least I don’t spend my days elbow deep in fucking computer parts.”

“Computer parts not as disgusting as trash.”

“Toxic.” I dragged out the word to make my point.

“Details.” She waved me off.

I saw headlights, and heard the sound of an engine approaching. Bee pulled up and Sam and Mikaela got out. Mikaela looked confused and Sam looked like he was about to shit himself.

“You!” Sam pointed at me. ‘I have a name,’ I thought. He kept yelling. He was throwing a fucking bitch fit. “You’re the girl that bought my car! What the hell is all this?” he asked me. Before I could answer, he added on, “And who are you?!” and pointed to Blake.

“Sam, Sam, SAM!” I was trying to get his attention, but he was pacing and talking to himself, so I screamed louder. “SAMANTHA!!!”

“What?!” He finally stopped freaking out and looked at me,

“Will you calm your ass down and fucking listen for five minutes?” I asked. He nodded.

“I’m Slater, her, over there with the red hair,” I pointed in Blake’s general direction, “That’s Blake. We’re from another dimension, four years in the future. I know it sounds crazy, I’m not even sure how the fuck it happened yet, but it happened.” He looked like he was about to call an asylum and have me committed.

“You’re crazy,” he said, confirming my suspicions. “You-you mean to tell me that you’re from the future and you just randomly came back to buy me a car?”

“No, fuckface. We were in a car accident after going to see a movie, a movie about these giant alien robots, and we woke up here, where it’s not a movie. It’s real life. In order to make sure that you got Bee and the events that happened in the movie that saved humankind, I bought you the car,” I explained.

“You expect me to believe that?” he asked.

“Look bitch, I’m fucking telling the truth. You don’t believe me? Too fucking bad. Now I see the others’ headlights, I’m going over there. When you decide to stop being a prick and fucking listen to me, let me know,” I said, before walking over and standing by Blake. The other bots were already there.

Optimus began to transform. My jaw dropped. “Oh. My. God.” I heard Blake exhale. The others began to transform as well. I bumped Blake’s arm to get her attention. She looked at me; we both wore the same facial expression.

“Holy fuck,” she whispered.

Optimus knelt down and looked between all of us humans, his eyes finally settling on Sam. “Are you Samuel James Witicky decedent of Archibald Witwicky?” he asked.

“They know your name,” Mikaela said in amazement.

“Yes,” Sam answered.

“And we know theirs,” Blake said, regaining composure for a moment and addressing the Prime. “You are Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots.” She turned toward the one I thought was the medic. “Ratchet, the best CMO Cybertron has to offer,” she said to him, confirming my thoughts.

He looked proud of himself; he sniffed the air, just like in the movie. “The boy’s pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the females.”

It was just as funny as it was in the movie, I starting laughing. Sam and Makaela looked so awkward.

Blake was still saying who was who. “Ironhide, Prime’s oldest friend, and weapon specialist. On your left you have an energy rocket launcher and on the right is a plasma rocket blaster,” she said.

He twirled the weapons she pointed out and aimed them at us. “You feeling lucky, punk?”

“Easy Ironhide,” Optimus warned.

“It’s cool Hard Ass, just wants to show off his cannons.” Another voice interjected- Jazz, I recognized the accent.

“Then there’s Jazz. He’s a saboteur and second in command,” Blake said, ‘Right again,’ I thought.

“What’s crackin’ little bitches? This looks like a cool place ta kick it,” he said. I tried not to laugh.

“Nope,” Blake said.

“Not really,” I backed her statement, and added, “Vegas is a cool place though.”

“And New York,” she tagged on.

“Pittsburgh.”

“Vancouver, but that’s not important. Last, but certainly not least is Bumblebee. Bee is a scout and his vocal processors were damaged in battle so he can’t talk. Ratchet is still working on them,” she said, wrapping up our “Cool place to kick it” list, and the identities of the present Autobots.

Bee started his little jig, but was stopped when Ratchet fired a regenerative laser at his vocal processor, causing the young scout to cough.

“How did Jazz learn to talk like that and how do you know all of this?” Sam asked Blake and I.

“We learned Earth’s languages through the world wide web.” Optimus answered the first question. “As for the second question, I would like to know the answer to that myself.”

“What’re your designations shorties?” Jazz asked.

“I’m Blake DeVille.”

“And I’m Slater Hunt, and we traveled from a different dimension four years in the future where you guys aren’t real, but are instead the center of a very popular franchise,” I said, explaining who were and where the Hell we came from.

“Which is why I know so much about you, because Transformers, which was the name of the franchise was pretty much my entire childhood. You’re here for the All-Spark, which is the life source of your planet, Cyberton. There’s a war going on between you Autobots and the Decepticons led by Megatwat, the biggest fucking asshole to ever exist. I hope he fucking rusts in pit, where he belongs,” Blake added, effectively confusing the fuck out of Sam.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is she talking about?” Sam asked.

Optimus projected the holograph of Cybertron in its final days before they left. “Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron...“

“Cunt,” I muttered.

“Twat,” I heard Blake do the same.

“Leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him.”

“My grandfather,” Sam said.

“It was an accident that intertwined our fates.”

We watched as Optimus showed Sam’s grandfather run into Megadouche.

“Megatron crash landed before he could retrieve the cube. He accidently activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube’s location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses.”

“How’d you know about his glasses?” Sam asked.

“eBay.”

“eBay,” Sam repeated.

“Yep, eBay,” Blake said.

I couldn’t help but add in, “Sure thing ladiesman217.” Sam glared at Blake and I, while we laughed.

The medic spoke and our laughing stopped. “If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth’s machines and build a new army.”

“And the human race will be extinguished,” Optimus continued.

“There’s not a chance in hell of that happening. I didn’t get this ugly ass scar for no fucking reason.” Blake interjected.

“The glasses are in the kitchen. Sam, remember that because if you don’t your mom is going to have this awkward moment with you where she talks about you jacking off,” I said, trying to be serious.

“Yeah, Sam’s special alone time,” Blake added, not trying to contain her smile.

“I don’t like you two. I don’t care if the yellow one-”

“Slater, fuck face remember it,” I snapped.

“Bought my car,” he continued. “You’re both bitches.”

“Why thank you, but I’m not just a bitch. I am the bitch,” Blake sneered. She turned to Optimus and I walked away to go talk to Jazz.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

“S’up girl?” he asked, I was going to be a smart ass, and say I was waiting for order from Optimus, but before I could Optimus told the autobots to roll out. “You wanna ride wit da Jazz-Man?” Jazz asked me, smirking.

I looked over and asked Blake if she was alright. “I’m good,” she replied.

I turned to Jazz, “Sure,” I said. He transformed and opened up his door for me, I got in. Optimus did the same for Blake.

“Thanks Jazz,” I said.

“Ain’t nothin’ lil lady,” he said. I couldn’t help but giggle at his accent, he sounded like a stereotypical hood rat.

“What you laughin’ at, Chalkboard?”

“Nothing…” I said in a voice that made me sound way to innocent. “And who the fuck is Chalkboard?” I added with a confused look on my face.

“Uh huh, sure you wasn’t laughin’ at nothin’. And you Chalkboard. That’s yo new name,” he stated that last bit matter-of-factly, like it’s been my nickname all my life.

“Oh really?” I asked. “And why am I now a classroom tool?”

“Yo red-headed girl called you ‘Slate’. I looked it up, chalkboards is slates. You look like some lil’ kid done gone and drawn all up yo ass too, so you Chalkboard now,” he explained.

“I guess I can live with that. But get this shit straight,” I started. “These “drawings” were expensive as hell-” ‘To any normal person,’ I added in my head, “mostly designed by me, and done by professional tattoo artists. Say I “look like some lil’ kids done gone and drawn all up on my ass” again, and I’m gonna get some little kids to go draw all up on yours,” I said with a smile on my face, but a slight serious tone in my voice. I don’t fuck around about my tattoos, or my artwork, at all.

“Whoa whoa whoa, calm down, ain’t no reason ta get all serious,” he said, laughing.

“Ain’t no reason ta get all serious,” I mocked him.

“I hope yo ass ain’t mockin’ me,” he said, I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

“Oooh look at me I’m Jazz, I hope yo ass ain’t mockin’ me. Meeeh I’m Jazz, look at me, I’m all bad ass and whatnot because I’m Jazz. Oooh I’m Jazz and you better not be mocking me!” I said, waving my hands around and making a dumb face.

He laughed. “I like you, Chalkboard. We gon’ be cool.”

“I’m already cool, I don’t know about you,” I said, smirking.

“Bitch I’m da meanin’ of cool,” he said.

“Uhh huh, sure you are, whatever helps you ‘sleep’ at night,” I said.

“I’m ‘bout ta make yo ass go to sleep!” he said through laughter.

I rolled my eyes. We spent the rest of the ride to Sam’s house in comfortable silence. I liked Jazz, he was pretty cool.

We finally pulled into the alley behind Sam’s house, and I noticed that there were fucking SUVs everywhere, the S7 ass hats were already there. I sighed and leaned back, waiting to be told what to do.



Blake and I were just standing around, waiting for Simmons and his crew of ass fucks to show up, she was braiding her hair, and I was picking my split ends. I stopped when I saw their headlights.

One of the shitfucks almost ran us over, but he slammed on the brakes just in time, we just stood there, glaring at him.

Simmons got out of the car flanked by the douche who was driving. “Blondie and Heat Miser, I knew you were involved in this.” He got in our faces, this wasn’t gonna end well for him.

“Simmons, you’ve read my file. You know my family and what’s happened. You know what happens when something like that happens?” Blake asked him, I noticed her hand was balled up in her pocket, someone was about to have their lights turned off.

“No, what happens Red?”

“You get a little paranoid. You get taught things.”

“Well you have time to teach yourself things, when you’re in prison for treason.”

“Or assault,” she said, launching her fist at his nose. The crunch of the bone was loud as fuck. She grabbed Simmons’ cuffs and cuffed his hands behind his back, I did the same to his little lackey douche, ignoring the fact that his crew had their weapons aimed at us.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SHOOT THEM?!” Simmons was screaming.

“Shooting the children would be a grave mistake,” I heard Optimus say from behind us. The bots came over, and Jazz stripped them of their weapons.

“You get taught how to defend yourself. You know what happened. Basic self-defense wouldn’t have helped me, but this would.” Blake said as she pulled Simmons up to his knees, just to push him back down to his face. I had my foot planted on the lackey’s lower back as I grabbed the key to Sam and Mikaela’s cuffs from his pocket.

We left them laying on the ground and went and got Sam and Mikaela out of the SUV. I used the key to free them.

We let Sam and Mikaela ask their questions and handcuff all of the agents to a pole. I almost puked when Mikaela made Simmons strip; it was bad enough seeing that shit in a movie. Ew.

“We need to alert everyone,” I heard Simmons say.

“Slate?” Blake asked.

“Yeah?”

“You know the plan?”

“Yeah,” I said. I knew the plan, but that doesn’t mean I had to be happy about it.

“It’s go time,” she said.

The other SUVs and helicopters started to arrive and Ironhide shot the ground. The bots transformed and took off. Optimus picked up Sam and Mikaela and ran. Blake and I ran, not really trying to get any specific place, we knew who we had to go with, but we didn’t exactly know how to go about it. We just kept on pretending to try to escape. We were caught relatively quickly, cuffed, and thrown in a car. We didn’t resist, at all. That’s not normal, and you best believe that it was fucking difficult. We sat in angry silence until we got to the Hoover Dam.

“God damn I am not made for this shit!” Blake complained as she got out of the car. I cracked my neck and she cracked her back. Our bones stopped making crunching noises as Simmons walked up to us, his nose was all taped up and whatnot, Blake cracked up.

“You think this is funny?” he snapped at her.

“Pretty fucking funny, asshole,” she snapped right back.

“You’ll be paying my medical bills!” He was yelling like she gave a fuck. Bitch carries like three grand in her bra at all times. We both laughed at him.

“I’m rich. Money don’t mean shit to me.” Blake said, reaching in her bra and pulling out a wad of cash. She counted some out and slapped it into Simmons’ hand. “Now that I’ve paid you despite the fact I know the government pays your medical bills, I think it’s time we get to more pressing issues.”

“Like saving our human asses.”

Sam and Mikaela walked over.

“Hey kid,” Simmons said to Sam, trying to seem like a good guy. “I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato?”

“Where’s my car?” Sam asked, getting straight to the point.

“Son-“ Banachek started. “I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now.”

“Okay. But first I’ll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down. Oh and her juvie record. That’s got to be gone. Like, forever. Plus those two, anything you’re going to charge them with don’t.”

I smiled and Blake went over and patted his shoulder. “Fuckin’ right!” We said at the same time.

“Come with me. We’ll talk about your car.”

“What did you give him negotiation lessons Blondie?”

“Listen fuck face! Blondie isn’t her fucking name! It’s Slater. Fucking use it, before I break the rest of your face, you prick!” Blake threatened him for me, but I planned on threatening him myself as soon as I could.

“Christ, do either of you have any manners?” Simmons asked. Blake was already by Sam and Mikaela. I smiled to myself, Simmons was by me and I was behind everyone else. I looked at him, “Learn my name Simmons. If you don’t, I promise that your next partner, and I don’t mean person you work with, will be a katana. Y’know, one of those big ass curved swords. And I promise; you won’t like where I shove it,” I said, smirking as he sped up until he was leading the pack. We followed him down into the dam.

Our group merged with the secretary of defense’s. Blake walked up to the soldiers. “Captain Lennox, Sergeant Epps. I’m Blake DeVille.” She introduced herself, and them.

I went over to talk to Sam and Mikaela. We were just talking about the bots and what a dick Simmons is.

Blake walked over to me. “So who does what?” I whispered to her.

“Uh… You go with the bug and Mikaela, I’ll try to save Jazz?” she whispered back.

“What about Sam?” I asked.

“Huh?” he spoke up.

“Nothing,” we both said sweetly. He raised an eyebrow.

“All right here’s the situation you’ve all have had direct contact with the NBEs,” I heard Simmons say, Blake and I had heard this a billion times from the movie, so we didn’t react with as much interest as everyone else.

“NBEs?” Epps asked.

“Non-biological extra-terrestrials. Try and keep up with the acronyms.”

“Or you can call them Cybertronians, since that is what their race is called,” Blake snipped.

“What you’re about to see is totally classified.” He continued acting as if she hadn’t spoken. He led us down this wet, dirty, moldy tunnel. Blake opened her mouth, most likely to bitch about how gross it was, so I slapped a hand over her moth to keep her quiet.

“Don’t fucking say it. Any of it.” She snarled at me.

She fucking bit me, I smacked her up the head, and she pushed me into the wall of the tunnel.

“Will you two stop?” Lennox hissed at us.

“Maybe.” I said, glaring at my best friend.

“But not likely.” She added on.

“As I was saying, what you’re about to see is totally classified.”

“Don’t tell my mother,” Blake whispered, I smacked her again.

We walked into the hangar holding Megatron. Blake looked up at him, he was fucking huge. “Ah fuck.” She swore.

“What?” I asked. “The fact that they really do have Megatron here like a giant ass popsicle or the fact that you just realized he looks way bigger than you thought?” I asked, guessing her thought process.

“Both,” she said.

“Dear God. What is this?” Keller asked.

“Megatron,” She replied.

“We think when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry. He crashed in the ice probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934.”

“We call him NBE One,” Simmons said.

“Well, sir, I don’t mean to correct you on everything you think you know, but I mean, that’s Megatron.” Simmons started to get in Sam’s face.

I stepped inbetween the two and shoved Simmons back. “Personal space,” I said as I moved away. “Use some manners, why don’t ya?” I suggested.

“Here’s the leader of the Decepticons,” Sam continued.

“He’s been in cryostasis since 1935.” Banachek looked at Sam. “Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.”

“Every fucking piece of technology we have comes from Megatwat up there. Cars, computers, weapons all of it,” Blake said.

“Haha your computer shit probably comes from his interface panel!” I cackled.

“Fragging pitspwan,” she muttered.

“You didn’t think the United States military might need to know that you’re keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?”

“Until these events, we had no credible threat to national security.”

“Well you got one now,” Keller said.

“So why Earth?” Lennox asked.

“It’s the All Spark,” Sam said.

“It’s a giant cube filled with the energy to fuel their home planet,” Blake said. I glared at Simmons and Banachek. “You dicks know where it is, so take us, because time is something we are very short on.”

“Follow me,” Banachek said.

He led us to the room that looked over the All Spark.

“Holy-” I started.

“Fuck!” Bake finished for me.

We ignored Banachek as he explained S7’s history with the cube. The cube flashed.

“Shit! Frenzy!” Blake said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I forgot about that fucker.”

“Yo Colors, you two coming?” We walked to the room, where they funneled the All Spark’s energy. We were locked in.

Blake was getting nervous or impatient, she was shaking.

“Calm down,” I said.

“Calm!” She whisper-yelled. “Screamers going to pop generators in like five minutes I cannot be calm.”

“You wanted in this,” I reminded her.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be angry. Damn Doritio is gonna be here and there’s no one here to fuck his shit up.”

Of course she was more concerned about not being able to watch him get injured, rather than the actual issue he presented.

We were handed goggles, we put them on and watched as Simmons pressed the button and brought Glen’s phone to life.

“It’s even cuter in person,” Blake said.

“You think that’s cute?” Simmons asked.

“Yes,” we both said at the same time. I was looking at it like it was a kitten, I wanted it, and there was no way in Hell I was letting him offline it.

“Simmons you zap it and you’re fucked,” Blake warned.

“Up the ass. With a machete,” I added.

“That thing is freaky!” Maggie said. I walked up to the glass and looked at it, smiling. It launched a missile towards where Simmons was standing.

I tapped on the glass and got its attention. It stopped shooting and looked at me, cocking its head to the side. “Hey little guy,,” I said to the little mech. It put its weapons away and its optics turned blue.

I walked around to the side the door was on, opened it and put my hand in the box, it climbed up on me. I pulled my arm out and started petting the little guy’s head. He was fucking adorable.

“Five, four, three-” I heard Blake counting down.

“Red what are you doing?” Simmons asked.

The lights flickered. “The Ranch Dorito is here,” she said.

“Ranch?” I asked her, still petting the little bot.

“Well he’s too much of a pussy to be nacho cheese,” she said as if I should have known that already.

“Gentlemen, they know the Cube is here.”

Banachek got on the intercom to try to find out what was going on.

“Megatron’s second in command just popped the generators. I suggest we get Bumblebee and to the arms room.”

We got to the arms room and everyone started packing. Blake, Sam and I all bitched at Simmons to let Bee go.

“Just get back to his fucking car!” Blake snarled.

“I don’t know-”

“That’s exactly it. You don’t know. Bee does.”

“Take them to the car,” Lennox growled. He grabbed Simmons and pinned him up against a military vehicle. He had his gun right over Simmons heart. All the S7 agents jumped into action, but Lennox’s team responded just as quickly and better.

I smirked, Blake had to be fangirling so hard internally.

“I’m gonna count to five.”

“Well I’m gonna count to three.”

“Sec Def, Simmons should listen to Lennox, right?” Blake asked.

“I would. Losing’s really not an option for these guys,” he said.

“All right. Okay. You want to lay the fate of the world on the kid’s Camaro. That’s cool.”

“Laying the fate of the world on one of the best Autobot scouts ever,” Blake snipped. She’s defensive of Bee like he’s her kid.

They took us to where Bee was being zapped. Once they finally let him go, we tried to calm him down. He waved his blaster around, but after we mentioned the All Spark he focused.

“Message from starfleet captain… Let’s get to it…”

“Mega-Aft is thawing out. We have to get the cube the hell out of here. Get it to Mission City. It’s what? 22 miles away? We get it there,” Blake said.

“I agree with the girl, but we need the air force,” Lennox said.

“Shortwave. Maggie, Glen you can hotwire a computer to send a signal through the radio.”

“Bee, we’re coming with you,” Blake told him. He nodded.

He handed the cube to Sam and Transformed. Blake and I got in the back with the cube. Sam and Mikaela got in the front. Lennox and his team set up a perimeter around Bee and we were off. We saw the bots on the road on they turned around to join our convoy. It was now or never.