Love Is Stronger Than Gravity

‘‘Do you know how much I love you?’’ He asked me.

‘‘Yes, you tell me every day.’’ I smiled to him, admiring the way dimples formed on his cheeks when his smile met his eyes.

We were currently lying in a field on a blue and white checkered blanket in the middle of nowhere at about half past eleven at night. We had gotten comfortable, discarding our shoes, which now lay haphazardly at the end of the blanket. A breeze blew through the tall trees surrounding us and I pushed myself closer to him and lay my head on his chest, the heat radiating off his body sending a swarm of goose bumps over my skin. He started to run his hand through the back of my hair, letting it fall messily on my shoulders. I sighed in content as we laid together, interruption free, with nothing but the sound of the river moving a few feet away and the leaves rustling in the wind, a few crickets chirping every so often.

‘‘I’d love to just lie here forever with you. Fuck everything else; this is where I want to be,’’ he then said, disrupting the silence.

‘‘Me too,’’ I agreed, smiling into him. He lifted my chin up with his right hand and looked down at me. He smiled, then pulled my face towards his own, our lips crashing together. In a quick movement, he pulled me on top of him, a giggle slipping out past my pink lips. His hands ran up and down my thighs, slowly moving up to my waist. I knotted my fingers in his hair, not caring we were in the middle of a field where anyone could walk up on us. His hands slid up my top, his cold fingers ghosting lightly over my skin.

‘‘Daisy.’’ I snapped out of my daydream, looking over towards my mom who was staring at me expectantly, ‘‘What were you thinking about? I’ve called your name about ten times,’’ she said.

‘‘Nothing, just zoned out.’’ I replied.

‘‘Well, since you’ve zoned back in, I need you to run to the store please.’’ I was about to argue my point not to go there but she wasn’t having any of it. ‘‘Don’t give me the excuse, ‘his house is on the way’ because that’s not going to work this time. It’s been four months, Daisy. I’m sure you can be civilized towards each other again.’’

My mom understood my break up with Alex at first, typically because she didn’t know it was my fault nor she did know any of the messy details. I’d simply told my parents it was a mutual thing, and with All Time Low -his band- getting a bigger name for itself, I didn’t want to get in the way. That was in fact a lie, though. I’d been an idiot. It was my fault we’d split up and it was my fault Alex Gaskarth had a constant attitude towards everyone these days.

‘‘And either way, this food isn’t for me and your dad. It’s for you while we’re away, so if you want to starve to death, then don’t go.’’ She told me, rummaging through her bag, most likely to find her wallet. I often teased her that her purses were more like black holes than anything; she was never able to find what she was looking for unless she dumped out all the contents and dug through the miscellaneous items.

‘‘Alright, alright. I’ll go,’’ I huffed, standing up from my seat on the couch and walking over to her. She smiled and gave me a list and some money.

‘‘You’ll be fine. He probably won’t even see you.’’ Yeah, that was a hopeful and unpromising thought.

It didn’t matter what time of day it was; Alex was always in his house and every time I walked past him, he either shouted something vulgar and insulting at me or just ignored me completely, pretending as though I didn’t even exist. Ignoring me hurt more though because I’d rather him still acknowledge me for the wrong reasons then not at all. At least when he was talking to, or rather about, me, I knew he was thinking about me. I knew I was on his mind in some way and that seemed more comforting than knowing that I was a distant memory for him.

After putting on my shoes, I left the house and began to walk slowly down the street. There was no other way to the shops other than the route past his house because whichever way you went, the roads crossed and I’d have to walk down his street no matter what. As I got closer and closer to his house, I began to get nervous and my hands grew clammy. I kept my head down as I took quick steps down the sidewalk but spared a quick glance up. He was nowhere in sight; in fact his house looked nearly abandoned, all the lights off and his car nowhere to be seen. I gave a heavy sigh of relief and kept walking, my shoulders relaxing I realized I was in the clear – for now. I was getting closer to the food store when I noticed a familiar car parked in the parking lot – Alex’s car. I slowed my steps, debating whether or not I should hide until he came out. But like my mom had said, I could be civilized by now. The real question was, could Alex be civil?

Yeah right.

As I neared the entrance, I could see Jack and Rian standing outside. My stomach lurched because I knew Alex would be inside. Then again, that was better than having to actually walk past him. I could avoid him in the aisles if I ducked around corners and kept a good eye out for him. This shopping trip was turning out to be more like the next mission impossible than anything else.

I walked closer, the gravel crunching beneath me shoes. Jack glanced in my direction, before he spun around and ran over to me, standing and facing me with a smile growing on his face. He looked like I had just promised to buy him an endless supply of beer and playboy magazines. Before I could react, his arms reached out and pulled me towards his lanky fugure, his arms wrapping around my body, constricting my limbs and lungs.

‘‘Oh my god, where the hell have you been hiding?!’’ He asked me. He was actually happy to see me? I was shocked. As he pulled away, Rian approached gave a smile too and pulling me in for another bone-crushing hug.

‘‘We’ve missed you coming round to see us,’’ he then said as he pulled out of the hug.

“You are?” I asked, confusion seeping into my words.

“Yeah! We all miss you!” Jack gushed.

‘‘I’m very sure I wouldn’t be welcomed by one person. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you all lately – saves us all from unnecessary drama,’’ I replied, shuffling from foot to foot. I was actually horribly nervous in case he came waltzing out and saw me. I couldn’t be any more anxious at this moment if I was standing at the edge of a cliff.

‘‘Nah, he’s missed you to…still is missing you, but you know Alex; he won’t actually admit that,’’ Jack told me.

‘‘So how do you know then?’’ I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

‘‘Well, he won’t admit it to you, but to me he did.’’ I wanted to believe this, but I knew Jack. He was notorious for telling me what I wanted to hear. That’s just what he was like with he; he hated to see me frown and loved to see me smile. He was like that with most girls actually; he couldn’t handle seeing a girl in tears. ‘‘You should come round later. Drink times, gonna be fun. Plus, Ellie misses you too.’’ He grinned. I knew this was a guilt trip. Ellie was Jack’s girlfriend and one of my closest friends, but since she was always at the house they all shared, I didn’t get to see her as often anymore.

‘‘I-um, I don’t know. My parents are going away for a week. I need to help them pack things tonight, might be a little busy.’’ I replied, happy he had actually invited me. I was mentally thanking my parents for going away though. It saved me a night of possible drunken arguments.

‘‘Ah, maybe next time then, yeah?’’ He asked, hopeful.

I nodded, ‘‘Definitely,’’ I smiled, not wanting to hurt his feelings with the truth – that being that I probably wouldn’t go next time he invited me either. ‘‘Anyway, I need to do some shopping, make sure I don’t starve while my parents are gone and everything. I’ll catch up with you later.’’ I told Rian and Jack, smiling at them and walking away and into the store. I glanced around and picked up a basket. I did only need a few things so I was going to be in and out quick. The less time I spent lingering here, the less of a chance I had of running into Alex.

I walked up the first aisle, the vegetables, which I knew I wasn’t going to cook so I walked to the end and down the second aisle. I picked up a box of cereal, throwing it into my basket and then walked to get some bread. I reached the refrigerated section and turned to go and get some milk and there he was. He stood in all his perfection; slightly messy hair, his clothes hugging tightly to his body and that same expression the night we broke up.

I went all dizzy, my legs felt like they were going to buckle underneath me. He was standing behind his cart, which was currently filled with just alcohol. It was the closest I’d been to him since we’d split up and I half expected him to ram into my knees, but he just turned and walked up the aisle, Zack by his side. Zack actually acknowledged me and a grin spread across his face as he waved frantically, walking behind Alex, who simply chose to stare me down before walking away and disappearing into the next aisle.

The look he sent me spoke all the unsaid words scrambling around in his mind; I was nothing to him anymore. Not that I could actually blame him. Had we been in opposite positions, I would hate me too. That didn’t make it hurt any less; especially when our break up not only caused me to lose him, but also caused me to lose four close friends. If there was one thing Alex has made clear, it’s that I’m not longer welcome in his life, not now and possibly not ever.

I had royally fucked things up and there was no going back.