Love Is Stronger Than Gravity

I didn’t see Alex again in the supermarket. I was glad because when I saw him, I felt so guilty. The look on his face killed me because it was me that had put it there. I had been the one to make him feel hatred towards me. I had been the one to break his heart.

When I got home, I put all the groceries away and then started to help my mom pack her suitcase. It was an annoying process; everything had to be folded perfectly and placed down so that it sat without a wrinkle. There was a pocket for everything and nothing could be misplaced. I spent more time arguing with her than actually helping pack before she eventually kicked me out of her room. My parents had offered to take me away with them, but I just wasn’t in the mood for a holiday. Plus, they deserved some time away from me. They worked hard and needed some time to themselves.

The next morning they left just as the sun rose. I’d asked them the night before to not to wake me up because I’d be grouchy and annoyed so we said our goodbyes before bed instead. I didn’t hear them leave but when I woke up the house was quiet. After climbing out of my bed, I walked downstairs and saw that my mom had left a note, telling me they loved me and that they’d be home in no time. It also had a reminder for no house parties…as if I’d have people to invite. She seemed to think I was miss popularity, but on the contrary, I was just another face amongst the crowd. Alex had been my life and without him, I had no one. All my friends were his friends, and in good right, they chose him over me. I wouldn’t expect them to continue talking or even acknowledging me, though Jack and Rian seemed friendly enough yesterday. It just didn’t seem right to take Alex’s friends away from him, especially after what I had done to him.

I really had nothing to do all day, so I settled on watching TV for most of the morning. I had taken the week off from where I work at a small book store in town, just in case I had decided to go on with my parents. In the end I chose to stay home but I didn’t call my boss and tell him that, nor did I plan on doing so, so I had the week to myself. I honestly didn’t mind going to work. It kept my mind off of Alex and it kept me occupied for most of my time. When I wasn’t working or helping my mom, I’d end up in a deep trance of thought and that only led to dark places I didn’t want to tread into.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me from my revere, so I took it out of my pocket, sliding up the screen to reveal the keyboard.

One new message the screen alerted, a small envelope spinning just below that.

‘Open your door noob xxx’

I smiled as I read it, immediately knowing who it was. I jumped off the couch and ran to the door, swinging it open, revealing a smirking Ellie, her red hair tied up into a messy bun, sunglasses covering her hazel eyes.

‘‘Daisy! I’ve missed you!’’ She squealed, instantly jumping forward and wrapping me into hug.

‘‘I’ve missed you too,’’ I laughed, hugging her back. She let go and after I closed the door, she followed me back into the living room, making herself comfortable on my sofa. I plopped down next to her, turning so my body was facing hers.

‘‘Jack told me he saw you yesterday. I got horribly jealous because I wanted to see you, so here I am. Why haven’t you been back around the house?’’ She asked, not taking many breaths.

I chuckled a little. ‘‘Well, I think we all know the reason why I haven’t been around. And from the look I got from Alex yesterday, I don’t think he wants to see me either,’’ I told her.

She nodded and sighed. ‘‘He totally misses you; he’s just being an ass and not saying it. I’ve had many drunken talks with him, Daisy.’’ I rolled my eyes.

‘‘And the fact that they’re drunken means he probably doesn’t mean it half the shit he said,’’ I told her.

‘‘Haven’t you ever heard that saying about how the truth comes out when you’re drunk? I’m sure when you’re sober they’re more honest, but even drunk you say things you normally wouldn’t admit to when you’re sober.’’ Ellie never did make much sense.

‘‘Tell me one thing he’s said to you about me,’’ I said, folding my arms across my chest expecting her to come out with nothing. “Something not hateful or demeaning.”

She grinned at me, as if she expected that I would ask her this question. ‘‘He once admitted that he would love you to come back around and see him even though he knows he’ll be a jerk, not because he hates you, but because he’s hurt,’’ she stated matter-of-factly. Ellie was like Jack though. They both told me things I wanted to hear, even if it wasn’t the truth. Sometimes she’d stretch the truth so that it wasn’t so much as a lie, but more like the forged truth.

‘‘Well if he knows he’s going to be a jerk I don’t want to see him. What would be the point in that?’’ I asked her.

‘‘I don’t know. All I know is that he wants to see you and I want to see you two back together so you have to go see him!’’ She said her tone beginning to sound more and more like my mothers.

I shook my head. ‘‘I can’t do it. I can’t face him again. I can’t talk to him without thinking about how much I hurt him.’’ I explained to Ellie. “The look is always on his face, El. He’s never going to forgive me.”

‘‘Please Daisy?” she pleaded, “We’re going to be having a party later tonight. Everyone’s going to be there, possibly a few more added people that we don’t even know so it’ll be pretty packed and you might not even see him at all. I promise you can stay with me the entire time. Just come, please,’’ she begged. Then she jutted out her bottom lip and fluttered her eyes at me.

‘‘You know that look always works on me,’’ I told her shielding my eyes, “Stop it!”

‘‘Not until you agree to come,’’ she half sang to me, peeling my hands from my face. Her eyes bore into mine and when she began making whining noises like a puppy, I knew I’d end up losing this battle. I threw my head back in annoyance.

‘‘Fine, what time?’’ I sighed, cursing myself for being such a sucker.

‘‘Six o’clock,’’ she grinned. ‘‘Jack also owes me twenty bucks now, so thank you for actually agreeing,’’ she beamed. “I was sure it was going to take a lot more begging and whining before you finally agreed.”

‘‘You made a bet you’d get me out?’’ I asked her, knowing it was a typical thing for Ellie to do.

‘‘Of course, but I didn’t do it just for the money, Daisy. I do really want you and Alex back together.’’ I did believe her; Ellie was the one who’d helped our relationship blossom in the first place.

She’d introduced us, made sure Alex asked me out like he said he was going to then did everything she could to stop us from ever arguing. To her, we were her project in a way. She wanted to prove to Jack that she knew how to get people together, and it worked, but there was just nothing she could have done to prevent our break up. I wasn’t even sure if she knew why we actually broke up. I couldn’t imagine she’d be here, using her match-making skills to bring Alex and I back together if she knew what I had done.

Just thinking about that night, the look on Alex’s face and all the hateful words made me cringe. Alex and I had once been the picture perfect couple. Sure we had flaws and of course we had our fair share of arguments and disagreements, but when it came down to it, we were happy most of the time. And I think our break up hit our friends just as hard as it hit us because we were all friends, and it was inevitable – sides would have to be chosen.

I’ve never been good with waiting. In high school, every time we had a test I always wanted to know my score the very next day. I hated the anticipation of not knowing what was going to happen next. Patience was not something I had been born with – in fact; I would go as far as to say I’m probably the most impatient person. It always annoyed Alex. Anytime he’d plan a surprise for me, I’d whine and complain until he finally just told me what we were going to be doing. I hated waiting and I hated not knowing things. And this type of waiting was the worst. Waiting to see Alex’s reaction made me more nervous than I’ve ever been.

“So, what have you been doing that’s allowed you to avoid me for this long?” Ellie asked, sending me a mock glare.

I smiled, “I wasn’t avoiding you, per se. I-”

“Bullshit.”

“I wasn’t! I was avoiding the awkwardness that is my relationship with Alex.”

“Alex and I don’t share a cell phone, Daisy. If you called me, you’d be talking to me.”

“I’m sorry, El. It was just…too weird, I guess. I don’t want you guys to fight with Alex or anything because you’re talking to his ex-girlfriend.”

“You may be Alex’s ex-girlfriend, but you’re also our friend, whether Alex likes it nor not,” she smiled, nudging my shoulder. “Besides, what’s more fun than pissing Alex off?”

I don’t know what it was – maybe it was the way she was talking about Alex or the tone she was using. Or maybe it was the realization that that’s all I’ll ever be to him anymore – someone who causes him pain to just think about. But before I knew what was happening, tears were slipping down my cheeks in small rolls.

“Hey, don't be sad,” Ellie cooed, as she grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table, whipping the tears off my face.

“I miss him, El.” I stated in a whisper, staring at the blank TV screen.

“I know you do Dais. We all do. But you and I know very well that Alex, no matter how angry he is at you, would never want to see you in tears, especially over him. He would want you to go back to being the person you used to be months ago, before any of this ever happened. We all miss you, Daisy, and we all want you to be happy,” she finished, smiling at me.

“How do you know all of that?” I asked as I finally turned to look at her in the eyes.

“I know him as well as you do D. You know I'm right.” She stated. And she was right. All of it was true. Alex was never someone that could truly hate another human being. He disliked people and there were a few random people who he will openly admit to waiting nothing to do with, but he’d never say he hated someone. It wasn’t part of his nature. There just wasn’t a hating bone in his body. “He wants you back. You just have to make the first move.”

I had to try – that much was obvious. Not only for my friends but for my sanity because over the course of Alex and I’s relationship, I had begun to rely on him and not being able to turn to him whenever I had an issue was becoming increasingly difficult.

“I'll try,” I finally said, in a voice just loud enough for her to hear me.

“That's all I’m asking for, babe,” she smiled before crossing her eyes and stick her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. I laughed, a genuine smile taking over my face.

“Your first real smile,” she pointed out and I nodded, whipping my cheeks dry of tears.

She was right though. Not only did Ellie, Jack, Rian, and Zack miss the old me, but I missed her too. And I missed Alex.

The only question now was; would Alex feel the same way?