Taking Chances

As we walked to the last period of the day, I kept replaying the bathroom moment we had, if you could call it a moment. I had been in such a state that I had held onto him, as if he were my lifeline. I could still feel remnants of his touch lingering on my back, and shivered when I remembered how his fingers felt as they softly pressed against my skin, rubbing large, rough circles. I felt his eyes, those tantalizing, piercing eyes that seemed to look right through me. I flushed a deep crimson every time I caught him looking as we walked to his locker then to mine so we could grab our books for english.

I gnawed on my lower lip, as the image of a half-naked Jaden flashed in my mind, implanting itself in front of my eyes as I tried to cover my flaming cheeks with my hair. God, he was beautiful. Abso-fucking-lutely beautiful. He had a well defined abdomen, his muscles rippling as he had pulled off his shirt. His chest was smooth and hairless exactly how I liked it, and his skin tone was a light tan colour, not too dark but not pasty white like I was. His biceps looked strong as well, swooping in gently bulges where muscle was evident. I wanted to touch him, and when I realised that I was pretty obviously eye-raping him, I jerked my head away, cheeks on fire.

My cheeks seemed to be double as hot right now, as I held my books to my chest on our way to the english classroom. Jaden gave me a curious glance, and I mumbled a quick "I forgot something, the class room is the first one around the right corner," and darted back to my locker, a very confused Jaden slowly walking according to my directions. I was so lost in thought that I was suddenly on the ground, my back hitting the linoleum with a thud. My books spilled out around me, and I swallowed back a groan of pain as I reached for my books. I rested my right hand on my copy of Romeo and Juliet, and winced as a tiny yelp escaped my tight lips when a plain black Vans shoe stomped on my hand heavily. My fingers screamed as tears beaded in my eyes, as the person twisted their foot with an amused laugh. I looked around for someone to help, but no one was around, probably all making their way to their classes.

"Aw, is the little faggot crying now? What a pussy," that familiar voice cooing slyly, as he crushed his shoe against my hand again, making me bite back a scream as my fingers felt at breaking point. A choked "P-please..." slithered from my lips, and the guy ceased his shoe-digging, bending down, grabbing my chin roughly in his large hand. He forced my head up, my neck now pained and sore. I gazed at him through tear-wetted eyes, my lip quivering. It was who I thought- the blond Icy Treat boy form before. Up close, he looked even older than before, and I was convinced he wasn't in Belle's grade, unless he stayed back at least 2 years.

"W-who... are you?" I asked, my voice on the verge of breaking, and he gave me a cruel smirk, his icy blue orbs striking me with fear.

"A fucked up monster like you doesn't deserve to know my name," he snickered, his fingers on my jaw digging in painfully. The second bell sounded, and Icy Treat guy let out a small "tsk," before harshly letting me go, shoving me roughly against the lockers.

"Hey, Byron!" someone yelled, Icy Treat turning around with an annoyed look on his face, as a guy ran up to him. I recognised him as one of Icy Tre- Byron's cronies, one of the two guys that sided with him in the cafeteria. The guy glanced at me, sending me a satisfied snicker, as he threw Byron a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"School's boring," Byron sighed, but then glanced at me. "But I think I'll have fun with this fag over here. Expect this kind of thing every day, freak. Expect this kind of thing, but worse." Byron jammed the smoke between his lips as he walked away out of school. I held my aching hand against my chest as my other rubbed my jaw. Hopefully it didn't bruise, but I had a gut feeling that it would. Bruises showed up easily on my paper-white skin.

I let out a small whimper as I gathered my books. I grabbed my Romeo and Juliet book with my injured hand, but cussed as it fell out, my hand arguing in protest as it was stabbed with pain. It wasn't broken- I didn't hear it crack, but there was definitely something wrong with it. I grimaced as I grabbed my books up awkwardly with one arm, and cradled them to my chest as I hurried to 5th period, walking into the classroom just as Mr Finley, a middle-aged man with a grey chevron moustache and black beady eyes, walked in, nodding to the only empty seat in the room, which was next to Jaden. Either it was stupid, fucking fate, or he had saved that seat for me. The smirk on his face said the latter, and I frowned, reluctantly slipping into my seat. I rested my injured hand on my lap as Mr Finley started the class, barking at us in that gruff voice of his.

Jaden looked at me oddly and opened his mouth a few times to say something, but obviously thought otherwise when he turned away, shaking his head.

"Okay, class. Just because it is the first day, doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you," Mr Finley said, receiving groans of every pitch erupting from around the room. Mr Finley was known for not going easy, but he was a good teacher, since the english scores of his students on final exams were always better than the scores of other classes. I was glad to have him as a teacher, even if he was a grumpy old fart. "I want you all to write an in-depth character analysis on one of the main characters in Romeo and Juliet, which I have written on the board. You'll start it now in class, and it is homework, so I expect it done in exactly a week." Everyone complained under their breath, but we all knew Mr Finley was a stubborn shit, so stayed quiet, whipping out our notebooks. I doubt half of the people were going to actually do work, since quiet chatter was already starting.

I was right handed, and since my hand was a majorly hurting I struggled to even hold my pen. I winced as I tried to tighten my grip on my pen, but it just hurt like a bitch. I put my pen down, and studied my hand. A large, shoe-shaped bruise was already starting to form, the yellow-purple mark blooming visibly on my pallid skin. I internally groaned, using my left hand to help my right grip the pen. I heard Jaden suck in a breath, and turned sharply in my seat and noticed his eyes focusing on the bruise on my hand. His mouth twisted into an angry snarl, moving his hand up to get Mr Finley's attention.

"N-No!" I quietly yelled at him, and his blazing eyes studied mine intently, his angry, mine pleading. "Don't say anything, please."

"But, Micah..." he whispered, conflict in his eyes. I shook my head firmly, and he locked his jaw, lowering his hand. I let out a thankful breath, and just gave up on holding my pen, trying with my left. I have to say, my handwriting which was once nice and fluid using my right, was shoddy, crude and pre-school in my left. What I was trying to write, which was my name in the corner of the page, looked more like an angry scribble in the corner. I sighed sadly, and placed my pen on my desk, giving up. There was no point putting myself in excruciating pain to write something, or writing it and not being able to read it later.

I was surprised when Jaden's hand shot up, attracting Mr Finley's attention. My eyes widened as the teacher came over, Jaden shooting me an apologetic look as he told Mr Finley about my injured hand.

"Why didn't you go to the nurse, Micah?" Mr Finley asked, shocked, practically pushing me out of the class room. "Jaden, go with him to make sure he actually goes and gets it checked out. And take your books- there are only ten minutes left of class anyway."

"Sure, sir," Jaden said, gathering his books as I struggled one-handed to do with mine. Suddenly, Jaden's warm hand was on mine, as he grabbed my books, his right arm holding his and his left arm now holding mine. Damn, he was strong. "Don't strain yourself, Micah."

"B-But..." I started, making Jaden chuckle softly, my cheeks erupting like a volcano as he nudged me out of the classroom. We walked to my locker and then his, and started our way to the nurse’s office.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jaden asked suddenly, and I shrugged, looking away from his bothered and apprehensive expression. When he saw the bruise he looked like he was about to burst and run out of the class room to kill whoever hurt me, that being Icy Tr- Byron. I was going to have to ask Eleanor about him later. She always knew who was who and what was up with them. She was the one that always told me what was going on in the school, since I was either too oblivious to my surroundings or I just did simply didn't give a flying fuck.

"It wasn't that bad," I murmured softly, and Jaden scoffed, stepping in front of me, making me bump into his delicious chest, making me jump. He placed his hands softly on my shoulders, the complete opposite of Byron's aggressive and painful grasp, and pushed me away from him so he could stare into my eyes.

"It wasn't that bad?" he repeated, sarcastically almost. "Micah, you couldn't even hold your books, let alone hold a pen. That isn't nothing."

"It would've been fine by tomorrow," I said, half-heartedly, as he groaned in frustration.

"Micah, you're always like this. You never rely on anyone but yourself, but sometimes you have to ask for help and trust others," Jaden chastised, and I let out a snort, pushing him away with my good hand harshly, surprising him. My stomach boiled slightly, and I looked up at him, eyes narrowed.

"And what happened the last time I trusted someone? I ended up in the fucking snow all by my fucking self with only my self-hatred to keep me company. Trust? Trust is bullshit. Trust is what gets you hurt," I hissed, making his eyes widen as a dark emotion clouded his eyes. "I don't trust anyone, not any more, thanks to you." I had basically spat out the last word, and stormed off to the nurses office, feeling hurt, furious and upset.

How could he... preach all of that trust shit to me, after he did what he did. I had trusted him with everything, and had basically handed him my feelings and heart on a fucking silver platter. I had faith in him that he would accept me, sexuality and all, but no. He had to go and smash down my feelings, my heart, and my trust for him, and for everyone else. I was angry with him, for saying that I should trust others, when he was the one that ultimately taught me not to trust people, because when you trusted someone, that gave them the opportunity to hurt and betray you.

But most of all, I was hurt. I was hurting so badly, the heavy feeling in my broken heart worse than the throbbing pain in my hand.

I walked into the nurse's office, and the school's doctor, a plump woman who treated us like we were her own kids, ushered me up onto the examination bed once I told her I had hurt my hand. She inspected it, a frown on her face as she recognised the distinct shoe mark, but the look on my face probably told her not to ask. I was grateful she didn't, I didn't like attention, from students or from teachers.

She told me it had been badly bruised, probably all the way down to the bone, and that I shouldn't do anything too strenuous with it. She said that since I was right handed, I should get someone to write notes for me and that I should practise writing with my left hand. She bandaged it up, and handed me an ice-pack wrapped in cloth.

"Micah, honey, if you need anything, or just want to talk, feel free to come here, okay?" the nurse said, brow creasing as she was obviously thinking about the foot shaped bruise and the tell-tale signs of me being bullied, and I nodded smiling a little. The bell for the end of the day sounded as I slid off the bed, thanking the nurse before walking to my locker to grab my bag. After doing so, I hastily walked to Belle's locker, where she was talking to Declan, and they both laughed at something funny. I was glad she had made a good friend- I remembered my first day of high school. Only a few people were from my old primary school, so it was basically me being there not knowing anyone, but I had Ellie, so it was fine.

Belle saw me approaching, and waved, Declan giving me a smile as well. Belle's eyes ran down my arm to my bandaged hand, and she gasped, running up to me and attacking me with a worried hug.

"What's wrong, Micah?! Are you okay?!" she all but yelled, shaking me as I laughed quietly, ruffling her hair with my good hand.

"I'm fine. I just bruised it. I closed my locker door on it," I lied, and she flashed me a 'cut-the-bullshit' look, which made me sigh. "I'll tell you about it later, I guess."

"You'd better," she said sternly, hugging me again, before grabbing my left hand and dragging me over to Declan, who had also noticed my bandaged hand.

"Slam your hand in your locker?" he asked, smiling. "Sound like a load of crap."

"I know," I said sadly, as Ellie rocked up, jumping onto my back like she always did, causing me to roll my eyes, a smile creeping onto my face.

"Hello Micah-boo!" she chirped, and leaned closer to my ear to whisper a worried "How are you?" She hopped down and hugged me from the front, like a normal person would, and I squeezed her hand with my good one, telling her that I was fine, regarding the Jaden thing. Kind of. I was still pretty shaken up, but after having practically all my classes with him it kind of sunk in that the one that hurt me had come back into my life. But I think I had a bigger thing to worry about than my painful feelings from the past.

"Icy Treat guy, or Byron as I found out, um... confronted me again," I said quietly to everyone, as they all frowned, choleric expressions on all their faces. "B-But he didn't do m-much!"

"Yeah, Micah, that big bandage on your hand is totally small," Belle said sarcastically.

"It's only b-bruised... really deeply," I mumbled, and everyone sighed, pulling me into a tight group hug, including a hesitant Declan, who was like "Well, what the fuck," and joined the tight embrace. We untangled ourselves, and I sighed, looking at the clock.

"Belle and I had better get home. Ma is probably desperate to know how our first day has gone," I said, and everyone gave me a funny look. "What?"

"You've had an... eventful day," Ellie said, hugging me again. "Call me tonight, if you want to, you know, talk? Even if it's late, just call. I promise I won't be cranky."

"Ellie, you're always cranky when you're tired," I replied, and she winked, waving Maybelle and I goodbye as we headed to my car.

"Micah, are you really okay? I saw... you know who," she said, referring to Jaden, and I shook my head honestly, ruffling her hair. "Micah, I'm worr-"

"I know, Belle. I know. But he was... different today, I think."

"Micah! He hurt you! Don't fall for his lies again. This is what I'm worried about- you can't fool me, Micah. You're still in love with that bastard, I can tell. He's just going to hurt you again, and you know what happened last time. He's just toying with you."

"I said I know, Belle," I replied, as we got into the car. I ignored the hair-raising stare I got from behind, which I knew immediately was Jaden's. "I'm over him. I promise."

"Fuck no, Micah," Belle persisted, as I turned up the volume of the music to drown her out. She screamed in frustration, muting the sounds of A Rocket to the Moon as she stopped me from pulling out of the school gates. "Micah, can't you see?! You're falling for him- again. I'm so worried for you, Micah. I don't want you to go through what you did ever again, and don't say that you're not in love with him, because I can fucking tell. You're so out of it, thinking about him, and Declan said he saw you staring at him all starry-eyed when you were showing him around."

"Well, I'm sorry, Belle!" I said loudly, louder than I usually spoke, which was pretty softly, and threw my hands up in the air. "I'm sorry I can't help but want to trust him again! I'm sorry that I can't get over him! I'm sorry, but I have tried- and trust me, I've tried so fucking hard- to get over him. But I can't, and it scares me, more than you think." My voice quietened into a whisper, and Belle pulled me close, my body leaning over to the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry, Micah. But please, please don't... don't fall for him again. For everyone's sake," she murmured, and I squeezed her tight.

"Okay. I promise. I'll try not to fall in love with Jaden again."

I'll try not to, but I'm not sure if me trying will be enough.