Almost Lover

I smiled at Stryker while I played around with his hand. He gave me that same goofy smile in return. We’ve been pretty much like this for the past few days. I don’t know why really, but I loved it. I love being all playful, and cute with him. I just feel different. I like holding his hand when no one around. Our relationship may be a little complicated. I do kind of like keeping it between us for now. I do get to have this side of Stryker without the world observing us every minute. Maybe Stryker is right about this whole thing? It just seems easier for us right now.
I adore him, I honestly do. He’s corky, and different. His cuteness only really comes out when we’re alone. He can’t do these cute things in public with me, and sometimes it kills me. However, right now, I don’t want to share him with the world. I refuse to share him yet. I want him all to myself now. I can’t help it. It’s like I can’t get enough of him. In reality, I really can’t.
“Is it normal for couples to just sit around and stare at each other?” He laughed. “Cause we’ve been doing that a lot today…like more than normal,”
I rolled my eyes.
“Way to kill the fucking mood, jackass.”
“Come on, Asher…” He whined. “You know that I really didn’t mean it the way that it came out! I’m just not good at talking.”
I laughed.
“Sure…” I trailed off. I love seeing his confused face when he’s trying to explain something. “So…I’ve been thinking for the past few days…”
“Yeah…” He trailed off.
“And I think that…maybe we should actually keep us a secret a little bit longer…” I trailed off. I lifted my hand and I grabbed his chin lightly. “Ya know, I wanna keep you to myself.”
“How sweet,” He rolled his eyes, but his smile gave him away. “Are you serious about that?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, I am. I want you all to myself. I don’t want to let this…cute shit go just this instant. I don’t know when I’m going to be allowed alone with you after we tell people,”
Stryker cooed.
“Awe! You actually thought about it?”
“It’s kind of hard not to when you’re all that happens to be on my mind lately…” I mumbled. I felt his lips press a soft kiss on my jaw before he wrapped his arms around me.
“I think about you a whole fucking lot too, Ash.” Stryker admitted. “More than I’d like to say,”
I smiled.
“You always seem to understand what’s going on in my head.”
“I think that’s why we work.” I replied slightly. I rubbed my thumb softly over the back of his palm. “We just mesh well together,”
“I couldn’t agree more.” He smirked. “When are we going to have our…talk?”
I wrinkled my nose.
“Dammit, Stryke. Stop ruining everything,” I complained. “What if I just want to hang out with you? What if I don’t want our serious talk to happen right this minute?”
“It has to happen sometime, and you said that we needed to have this talk…” He trailed.
I sighed, and looked up at the ceiling.
“Okay. Fine. I’m going downstairs to cook us some breakfast. You do whatever the fuck it is you do,” I nearly laughed before I looked back at him. I kissed his lips softly and slowly. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, okay?”
“Kay,” He mumbled. I stood up from the bed, and walked out of my room quickly.
Saturday mornings are my favorite. I don’t know why, but they just are. I love weekends and not doing anything but messing around and hanging out with people. These past few weeks have been the highlight of my entire high school career. Being a Senior is awesome, but I like spending this time with Stryker. It’s better than every other weekend we’ve ever spent together. If I could turn back time, I would’ve kissed him first. Sure, he would’ve been freaked the fuck out, but I’d like to think that we would’ve ended up this way.
When I got down stairs, I started to pick out the things I needed to make some pancakes for us. I was aware that my dad was out in the yard working on mowing while my mother was gardening. They wouldn’t bother us too much. I just hope that Stryker and I aren’t in the middle or our conversation if they decide to come in. That wouldn’t be okay with me. I might just die of embarrassment. I can’t handle my mom freaking out over us, or my dad rolling his eyes saying I told you so. I definitely don’t need Stryker turning all weird on me now. Especially when he’s so okay with being with me.
“What are you making?” Stryker asked, placing his hands on my hips while I cooked. His chin rested softly on my shoulder.
“Pancakes, stupid,” I laughed lightly. “And my parents are outside right now. They would easily look in here,” Stryker’s body instantly left mine, taking the warmth and comfort with him. I sighed heavily and flipped over the pancake before turning to look at him.
“I-I’m sorry, Asher. I…you know.” He stated, looking guilty. “I can’t have them know right now,”
I smiled and I shrugged at him.
“It’s okay. I rather them not find out right now either,”
“Thank the Lord.” He smiled. “So you’re making your world famous pancakes.”
I scoffed.
“They’re hardly world famous.” I replied sarcastically. “What was taking you so long?”
“I smoked and then I brushed my teeth,” He stated.
“You’re going to die from smoking, dip shit.”
“You’re throwing some harsh words toward me this morning,” He nearly pouted. “But that’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” I smiled before turning back around and going back to our pancakes. “The pancakes are basically done right now.”
“Yummy. I’m gonna go ahead and sit down.” He stated, nodding toward the dining room table, which happened to be right in front of our open window. I could see my parents working hard before my dad had to leave for the firm. I wish that we could have this conversation in my room, but we would end up making out on my bed instead. Teenage boys tend to let their hormones run rampant like that. The dining room was obviously the best choice. My parents could easily see, and we wouldn’t jump each other. Clever of me, right? I thought so too.
“Here you go,” I stated, handing him over the plate of food. I poured us some milk and put it on the table. I sat on the other side and took a bite of my food. I wasn’t that hungry so I just ate one pancake while Stryker ate the other three. When we both were finished, and the table was cleaned, we could have our talk. I was slightly confused as to where to start the conversation. I know that I told him that we needed to talk, and he agreed, but that doesn’t make it any easier. “So…let’s talk.”
Stryker laughed.
“Okay, slick. Let’s do this.”
“Obviously we need to have this discussion…” I trailed off. “So I’m just going to start it.”
“That’s fine with me,” He said, crossing his arms in front of him.
“Will you take this relationship seriously? I know that we both are quite the fuck ups, but I also know that I want it to work. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t want this to be a month or so long relationship. Because of who you are, I expect a whole hell of a lot more effort in this one that you normally put in your relationships.”
“Meaning?” He almost teased.
“Meaning no more hooking up with random sluts,” I started. “No more of you drinking alone, I will be there, and definitely no more flirting with girls. You’re just leading the both of us on, and that’s not fair.”
He nodded.
“Done, fair enough. I won’t do any of those anymore.”
“Seriously?” I raised my eyebrows. “I’m being completely serious here, Stryker, and I want you to know that this is just as hard for me as it is for you,”
Stryker smiled slightly.
“Relationships are about give and take. I want us to still be us at the end of the day, but we have to work as a team.”
“Exactly,” I agreed.
“I’m serious about this, Asher. I wouldn’t have gotten into if I wasn’t. We might have started when we were drunk, but come on…feelings like that don’t just automatically surface. There’s been a reason why I’ve always been so attached to you.”
I felt my heart start to pick up.
“Good answer,” I mumbled with almost a blush on my cheeks.
“I know that she’s your best friend and all, but we really need to talk about Izzy, Asher.” He sighed. “I’m sorry for snapping at you both like that at the bowling alley, but it just sort of happened. Yes, it made me a little irritated, and slightly jealous, but I’m not worried about you. I don’t want you hurting her.”
“Can you please explain?” I asked him. “I thought that Izzy was over me,”
“She hasn’t been for a long that. That girl is in love with you. I understand why, she likes all the things about you that I do, but you’re into guys and not girls. It’s like Izzy is just waiting one day to see how perfect that you two would be together. I’m sorry, but you and I both know that it’s never going to happen like that. I even told her that. She asked me to, and I gave her the straight up truth.”
I looked down at my hands.
“She doesn’t seem to like you very much, Stryker.”
“You know why now, right? You know that she was just pissed because I said some things that were hard for her to hear. I’m sorry if I come off too strong, that’s the way that I am. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I adore Izzy, but she’s pushing it, Ash. She’s driving me bonkers with the way that she looks at you and hangs all over you,”
I chewed on my bottom lip. I understood fully what Stryker was talking about now. I just thought that she was clingy to me, because she always has been. I just really didn’t realize that she was ‘in love’ with me. That’s just weird to think about. Izzy and I don’t even go together. We’re too different, opinion wise. If I was straight, the first girl I would go for would probably be Taylor, and then Kaylie. They’re more like me that my own girl best friend.
“I’ll talk to her,”
“That’s all I ask.” He smiled at me.
“You do understand that it means telling Izzy, right?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at him.
Stryker nodded.
“That’s fine with me. Anything to get her off of you,”
I shook my head at my boyfriend.
“Stop being jealous, even if it is cute,”
“What can I say? I’m cute.” Stryker playfully stated.
I nodded in agreement, because I didn’t feel like saying anything back to him. I sighed, and looked out of my window. My mom and dad were talking while my dad decided to help her with the garden. They’re two of the most understand people I knew on this earth. Even if they grew up in a strictly Catholic household with their parents, they have their own views. They met at a nondenominational church when they were teenagers. My parents have been together since my mom was sixteen and my dad was nineteen. I want a relationship like theirs one day.
“I’m willing to wait as long as you are on telling people about our relationship,” I admitted, looking back at him. “I don’t care anymore.”
“What exactly made you change your mind?”
“I’ve been trying really hard to look at the situation from your point of view. Taylor has really been helping me with that part. She made me realize that even if you aren’t ready, then I should be willing to wait for you to come out. It’s not easy, and I’m sorry that I ever pushed you.”
Stryker smiled widely at me.
“You’re something else Asher Blake, you know that? I really thought that maybe you would start trying to make me do something that I didn’t want to. I’m really freaking glad that you aren’t. I want to be okay with us. I just need time. I don’t know it is, but when the moment’s right, then it will happen.”
“You make it sound like we’re talking about sex here,” I snickered.
“Now who is ruining the moment? Dickhead.” Stryker muttered, but he smiled nonetheless.

♥

“Let’s go tell my mom,” Stryker stated.
I stopped playing my XBOX, and I turned to look at him.
“What in the hell did you just say?”
Stryker smiled.
“I’m becoming more and more okay with us, okay? I just really want to tell my mom. This has been a huge secret that I’ve been keeping from her, and it’s slowly killing me. I don’t wanna keep it anymore…not from her at least.”
“Are you sure?” I asked him.
“Yeah…well…I’m pretty sure. I’m really ready to tell your parents yet, but I really need to tell my mom. I think that she would understand. She’s a very open woman.”
I nodded.
“I know that she is.”
“How about we go over and we tell Izzy first…” He trailed off, kissing my neck softly. “Then we go down the street to tell my mother?”
“I thought that your mom doesn’t get off of work until like seven?”
Stryker smirked at me before he kissed the spot below my ear.
“I’m sure that we can find something to entertain ourselves while she’s gone.” He whispered.
I closed my eyes and tried desperately to wipe the images from my head.
“Stryker….stop that right now.”
“Why?” He asked, placing more kisses up and down my neck. I shivered. I tossed my game controller somewhere on my floor before I turned toward Stryker. I placed my hand on his hip, and pushed him backwards until I was hovering over his body with my own. I bent down to attach our lips together. I quickly snuck my tongue into his mouth. I was the dominate one in the relationship, but not by default. Stryker puts up a really good fight. His hands ghost lightly over my back, under my t-shirt that I wore to church earlier. It wasn’t long before his hands were tracing patterns in my back. I loved the feeling he gave me.
I moved my mouth from his down his chin, and onto his neck. I had to get some much needed air before I got anymore light headed that he naturally made me whenever we kiss. Add that with the lack of air, and things can get messy. One of his hands tangled itself into my hair. Normally I would stop everything and go ballistic, but this is Stryker. It felt amazing when he tugged on the strands just a little bit. It let me know that he was enjoying our physical time just as much as I am.
His hands moved to the front of my shirt. My breathing picked up a little bit whenever his hands got closer to my belt. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled on it. The tugging made my body come down on his. I was perfectly fine with the thoughts running wild in my head. I felt a little lost in my lustful haze. My skinny jeans felt a little too tight. He finally started to pull my shirt up inch by inch before he broke our kiss.
“Off,” He demanded. I laughed, and easily slipped out of my shirt before I reached of his. I took off Stryker’s shirt before I dove back in to kiss his plump lips. He wiggled a little bit further up on my bed before he brought me with him. Stryker moved his legs so that they were bent, and I easily fit my body between his. The fabric of my jeans was nearly painful when our hips met. Stryker hissed, but latched onto my hips. I didn’t understand why at first. Call me a blonde, but I didn’t expect him to rub us together again.
“Oh my God.” I huffed, kissing down his neck one more time before I pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Don’t stop that, please?” He begged, pressing our hips together once more.
“Like this?” I questioned, moving my lower half just a little bit. He bit his lip and nodded.
“Yeah…again,” Stryker stated.
“You sure? This isn’t too weird?” I questioned. “I don’t wanna pressure you, Stryk.”
Stryker bucked his hips up, making me moan. I took that as a sign to stop talking. I ground my lower half into his again, making it feel even better than before.
“Help me out of these.” He stated, taking his hands off of my hips. I eagerly grabbed his belt buckle. I tried to get his skinny jeans off as quickly as possible. He helped me get mine off the toss somewhere in the room. I rested my body back on his. I kissed him forcefully, and snuck my tongue back in his mouth. Our hips settled into a smooth rocking motion. It was the most amazing feeling that I’ve ever felt. I wanted more. I couldn’t help him.
“Just a little faster,” I warned before I started to move a little faster. Stryker’s head leaned back as he let out a semi-loud moan that I was more than happy came from me. I kissed his chest, moving down the bed until I got to his happy tail, right before his boxers me.
“W-what are you doing?” He asked me.
I looked up at him.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yeah…” He trailed off.
“Then let me take care of you.” I stated before I went for the prize under his boxers.