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Almost Lover

Without You On My Mind

Once the cafeteria calmed down a hell of a lot, my mind started to race. My heart began to pound in my chest. It was freaking out on the inside. I kissed Asher in front of everyone. Holy fuck. I actually admitted that I was in love with my best friend, a boy, in front of 75% of the school. Most of our friends were staring wide-eyed at us when we sat down side by side. My leg bobbed up and down nervously. Asher eyed me carefully, before sighing. Even after all of the public display of affection, he still wasn’t happy. That much I knew. I knew that he was happy with the confession, but he was still mad at me. For God’s sake, he broke up with me…sort of.
When he said that we were over, I felt like I was breaking. I couldn’t simply let it end at that, and he knew that. The damn boy wanted me to say something, anything about our relationship. I knew that is what he wanted. He wanted that from the start. I guess I should’ve seen this coming. We couldn’t keep us a secret for forever. I’m surprised that it lasted as long as it did. More people were starting to find out anyway. I guess it really just had to come out. I just wish that it happened over Facebook or something like that, not at school.
I felt a hand reach over, and place itself over my bouncing leg. I knew in an instant that it was Asher. I looked up from my food, and our eyes met. His green eyes questioned me without saying anything. I sighed a little bit, and smile a small smile toward my boyfriend. We were getting really good a communicating with our eyes. Nothing had to be said between the two of us to understand what the other was thinking or wanting to say. Slowly, I placed my hand over his, and his hand turned underneath my own. Asher’s fingers laced through my own, bringing a smile to my lips. Asher smiled back. I knew that we would be okay for now. Even if we both weren’t happy.
“I love you,” Asher mouthed.
I smiled wider.
“I love you,” I mouthed back to my boyfriend.
I hadn’t noticed, but the conversations at our lunch table had died down. It had dwindled into barely a hushed whisper. The only thing I noticed was Asher. Just the way that he smiled at me, made me forget everything. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like we were the only two people in the world at the exact moment. His hand in mine was the best feeling I’ve felt all day. After the huge fiasco, it was nice to know that he was actually still mine.
“Can you two stop that?” Seth finally broke the silence that had taken over.
Asher and I looked away from each other, and over toward our friends. They were staring with curious glances. Seth, Chad, and Izzy looked the most confused. Kaylie and Taylor accepted it a long time ago. Izzy knew, but Lord knows that girl is having the hardest time out of them.
“Stop what?” We asked at the same time.
“Eye fucking,” Chad chuckled. “Jees, it’s like you were going to attack each other any minute.”
Asher shook his head with a playful chuckle.
“We were sharing a moment. We’ve done it plenty of times before,”
“You shit heads just never noticed,” I added with a laugh. “It’s been happening a lot recently.”
“I can’t believe people are just now finding out, to be honest.” Taylor stated. “It was painfully obvious,”
“You knew?” Chad asked, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend.
“Yupp,” The brunette smiled.
“Like, you knew the entire time?” He added.
“Yes, babe. I helped Asher over here and Kaylie was in charge of Stryker. Someone had to keep their heads level while they figured their shit out.”
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Seth asked.
I sighed.
“I’m not…wasn’t okay with being open.” I answered.
Asher’s hand squeezed mine for support.
“If that wasn’t obvious,” Asher chuckled, nudging me in the shoulder.
“How in the fuck did it even happen?” Seth asked.
Poor boy, he looked so confused, but I don’t blame him.
“The same night of the party that I brought Dylan to meet you guys,” Asher replied.
“We got back to his house, and I just sort of jumped him,” I added with a smile. “I’m glad that I did.”
“So…this has been going on for that long?” Chad asked, looking between the two of us. “Two months almost, and no one knew?”
“Not until recently.” I shrugged. “My mom shit a brick when I told her. She literally wouldn’t talk to me for forever,”
“Like Stryk said, he’s living with me.” Asher finished for me.
“How exactly is that working out?” Izzy asked with a forced smile.
“We share each other’s clothes more than normal.” I answered. “It’s kind of weird.”
“When we’re alone, we’re horrible. Like…that cute couple that is so cute that it’s gross. It gets that bad.”
“Damn…” Seth laughed, trailing off.
“We need to double some time,” Chad stated casually.
“You’d be okay with that?” Taylor asked, beaming at her boyfriend.
“Of course I am,” He placed a kiss on her forehead. “What do you guys say?”
Asher and I looked at each other before shrugging.
“I’m up for that,” I added.
“How about tomorrow night?” Taylor asked. “We could go catch a movie or something?”
I nodded.
“That sounds good. We could go get some frozen yogurt before that too? That is, if you guys want too.” I added.
“TCBY and movies it is,” Asher smiled. “If that’s okay with you two?”
“I’m down for some fro-yo,” Chad smiled, laughing lightly. Taylor just nodded in agreement.
The mood lifted a whole lot since Chad suggested a double date. Thank God for him too. I didn’t want to sit through an awkward lunch. I just wanted things to go back to normal as soon as possible. I knew that everything would change once Asher and I came out as a couple. It wouldn’t ever been the same. I knew that. People at other tables were still staring, and I felt uncomfortable in front of them. Asher could sense this. It’s like he could sense everything that I did. We’re always on the same brainwave, even more so than best friends are.
Asher’s hand removed from my own. I was a little confused, but when I felt his arm around my shoulders, I scooted closer. I leaned into his side comfortably. It was like everyone noticed it too. People aren’t the best whisperers in an echoing cafeteria. My hand went to his thigh. I gave it a light squeeze before just letting my hand rest there. His thumb swept slowly over my shoulder, making me smile without really meaning to. It was nice. That was a good thing about our very public argument was the fact that I could touch him when I wanted to. I didn’t have to stop myself anymore. I could hold his hand if I wanted to.

“Stryker! Hurry!” Asher banged from the other side of the bathroom door. I just rolled my eyes. I finished my hair, and sat his flat iron down on the sink. I did a double check on my hair before opening the door. He rushed in without another word, and went right to the toilet. I rolled my eyes. The boy had the smallest bladder in the history of the world. I warned him not to drink so much water because I was going to shower and do my hair. Did my boyfriend listen to me? Of course he didn’t. He just rolled his eyes and did whatever the fuck he wanted to.
“This is what happens when you don’t listen to me,”
“Shut up,” He mumbled before he flushed the toilet. He came over to the sink, and washed his hands. “Why is it that you always take longer to get ready than I do?”
“You start earlier?” I questioned, and then shrugged. “I do need to get some clothes on,”
Asher wiggled his eyebrows at me through the mirror, and wrapped his arms around my bare torso. He rested his chin on my shoulder, and placed a small kiss on my cheek.
“I’d rather you go shirtless.”
“Of course you would,”
“You have a nice little body, babe.” Asher stated, kissing my jaw, then my neck, and my shoulder soon followed.
“As do you,” I chuckled, patting his arms before grabbing to get out of his grasp. It wasn’t that hard, and Asher whined as soon as I was out of his grip. I shook my head, and walked out of the bathroom with my boyfriend in tow. I looked into his closet, and found a pair of matching black skinny jeans. I grabbed a normal tank top, my TOMS, and a hoodie before I deemed myself ready. I turned to look at Asher, who was wearing black skinny jeans, his usual white v-neck, and some of my TOMS. It made me laugh that he insisted on wearing my clothes and shoes. I don’t really mind, because I like seeing him so comfortable in my clothes.
“Are you ready now, boo bear?” He asked me.
I rolled my eyes, but smiled nonetheless. I won’t ever admit it, but I love the pet names that he gives me. As long as he doesn’t say it in front of everyone, then we’re good.
“Yeah, sweet cheeks,” I winked.
Asher bellowed, and shook his head. He gave me a really long kiss before he took my head. He lead me out of his house, and toward his car.
“We’re meeting them at TCBY.”
“Babe, guess what!” I stated.
“What?” He rolled his eyes, humoring me.
“This is our first public outing since we came out,” I said, somewhat proudly.
“I know,” He smiled. “I’m proud.”
“Not gonna lie, I still hate that the school knows…but it’s better now.”
“I agree.”
“I can kiss you, and touch you, and hug you,” I laughed like a school girl. “It’s wonderful.”
Asher smiled widely, and leaned over to peck a small kiss on my lips. I loved when he gave me little kisses and randomly says I love you.
“You sound gayer than me,” I smacked my boyfriend, and he whined. “That’s abuse!”
“Tough cookie.” I stated, making him chuckle.
I grabbed Asher’s CD cash, and put his All Time Low disc into the player. Soon enough, the opening chords to Do You Want Me(Dead) started to play. I hummed along. I loved the band, I really did. I don’t care that most of their fans consisted of girls. It’s not like I liked One Direction or anything. That would be just fucking weird.
It didn’t take too long for us to get to TCBY, but Chad and Taylor were already inside. They had a table, but they waited to get their frozen yogurt until we got there. Asher and I walked inside hand-in-hand and with smiles on our faces. I guess Chad was a little thrown off by our PDA, because his face showed shock. I guess he didn’t expect us to actually be holding hands? That’s weird, but I guess that it’s true.
“Took you long enough,” Taylor joked, getting up to hug us both.
“Diva over here took fucking forever,” Asher stated, pointing toward me.
I rolled my eyes, punching his arm lightly. Asher just laughed in return.
“Sorry that I take longer showers than he does,” I deadpanned.
Chad chuckled lightly before standing up too. Taylor and Chad went first in choosing what they wanted. I just started piling whatever I wanted to into my cup. I was hungry and frozen yogurt is one of my favorite things to eat. Asher followed my lead, but he didn’t eat as much as I did. We got to put our food on the scale, and I took out my wallet. Asher and I take turns paying for our dates. Today is my turn, and I’m more than happy to spend my money on him. Asher is worth every penny.
“So…I have a question.” Chad stated before taking a bite of his frozen yogurt.
“Shoot,” Asher stated.
“Who tops?”
I nearly choked on a gummy bear when he asked that question. This sent Chad into hysterics. Asher just shook his head at us, and Taylor giggled.
“Why in the fuck would you want to know?” I asked, shaking my head at him.
“I’m just curious! You’re just…not gay, and Asher only looks gay on occasion. I was just wondering who would top! Jees…shoot a guy for asking.”
“We haven’t had sex yet, Chad.” Asher answered with a chuckle.
“We have messed around though,” I shrugged.
“Well who gives out the favors?” Chad wiggled his eyebrows.
Taylor shook her head at her boyfriend.
“Dear God…” She trailed off.
“We take turns.” Asher answered. “But as of right now, Stryker’s the girl.”
“Why in the fuck am I the girl?!” I demanded.
“Because I’m older and taller,” Asher answered, giving me a playful grin.
I rolled my eyes.
“I hate you,”
“You do fucking not.” He stated, giving me a sloppy kiss on the corner of my mouth.
I smiled, and laughed. I loved him too much to even make a convincing joke. I’m in way too deep for my own good.
♠ ♠ ♠
I hope you guys are as happy with this chapter as I am! Please leave me some lovely comments!

Mwah! Kisses.

xoxo Rae