Almost Lover

I leaned my head against Asher’s back door, and let the smoke invade my lungs. As soon as I couldn’t handle it anymore, I released the toxic smell out into the pure air. It wasn’t a second later that I brought the death stick back to my lips. I’ve needed to smoke all day long. Everything that school stresses me out, and then shopping. Dammit, I love shopping a whole hell of a lot, but that many people make it hard to enjoy. That’s why I always go with Asher shopping. We’ve been twice in the past three days. I do love going shopping with him. He loves to get in and out of that place as fast as humanly possible. When we shop together, I don’t get distracted as much as I would if I was all alone. I’d expect him to want to take forever, and buy multi-colored skinny jeans, but he doesn’t. He has like two colored pair, and they’re red and blue. Nothing really stands out about them. He’s a different breed.
Asher is the straightest looking gay guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. I’ve met a whole bunch of them too. I don’t know what it is, but just because he’s gay doesn’t mean that he’s flamboyant about it. Most people at our school don’t even know that he prefers dicks over chicks. Unless you ask him, Asher probably wouldn’t tell. He’s not ashamed of his sexuality like he used to be, he just genially doesn’t care if you know or not. I guess that’s what I respect about him. He knows exactly who he is, and he always has. When we were thirteen, Asher realized that he liked boys, and not girls when we were at a summer camp our parents shipped us off too. I was a little freaked out about it, sure, and I even sort of stopped talking to him. But I’ve gotten over it since then. I don’t meddle in his life, or at least I try not too.
“If you keep smoking, you’re going to die.” He stated, crossing his arms in front of him.
“Thanks for the news flash…again,” I smirked in his direction. My best friend rolled his eyes. “Is this what you’ve been doing out here for the past hour?”

“It’s been an hour?” I laughed.
“Yeah, I’ve been playing MW3 for the past hour. Which I’ve kicking your ass in, by the way,” He stated, sitting down beside me. “What’s going on, Stryk?”
I smiled at the familiar name. Asher’s been calling me Stryk since we met. It’s like strike but spelt the letter from my name.
“Nothing, really, Ash. I’m just sort of…stressed.” I shrugged. “I got in trouble today…again.”
“By who?”
“I’ll give you one guess.” I rolled my eyes. “Mrs. Reynolds is fucking out to get me,”
“She’s not out to get you, you just can’t keep yourself out of trouble,” Asher shook his head, grabbing my cigarette from my fingers and taking a long drag himself.
“It’s not my fault she’s got the worst timing possible. So what I was making out with Kaylie in the hall between classes? Other teens do it all of the fucking time, and don’t get shit. When I do it, I get detention.”
“It’s because of your reputation,” He chuckled, looking over at me. “Ever thought about not getting in trouble?”
“Ash, do you honestly think that will work? I can’t help it…it’s like trouble freaking follows me around constantly,” I complained, taking back the cigarette from him. I took another long drag, and slowly let the smoke roll out of my mouth. “I need to get laid.”
Asher laughed, and stood up.
“Whenever you’re done being a fucking girl, come back inside. It’s getting kid of cold,”
“I wouldn’t want to catch a cold,” I joked.
“Fuck off,” Asher smirked slightly before he walked inside of his toasty house.
I finished the cigarette and flicked it to the ground. I looked up at the sky, and it looked like it was going to start pouring the rain. I stuffed my hands in my hoodie pocket, and I walked inside where Asher was cooking something for us to eat. We decided not to eat at the food court today. He was in the cooking kind of mood, and I’m always in the mood for his cooking. He won’t admit it out loud, but he has a passion for it. I think that he could become a chef if he really wanted too.
“What are you making for me, pookie?” I asked playfully as I walked into the kitchen to see him hovering over the stove.
Asher turned around with some cooking utensil in his hand.
“It’s no wonder people think we’re a couple. You’re always calling me pet names,”
“Awe, do you not like them, piggly wiggly.”
“Ha ha.” He stated dryly.
“Wait…who said that they thought that we were dating?”
“My mom,” He rolled his eyes. “She was about to go to bed, and she heard you call me some weird pet name or something like that.” He stated before turning back around.
“Your mom thinks I’m gay?”
“I guess,” Asher laughed. “I mean, she could think that you’re a murder or something.”
I shook my head, and hopped up on the counter.
“We would be a odd couple,”
“I agree. You’d be the girl, of course.”
“No, I’m definitely the boy.” I argued.
“Stryker, look at yourself. You look gayer than me. You’re definitely the girl,”
“But I actually like girls.”
“And I don’t.” Asher shrugged. “You’d still be my bitch.”
I rolled my eyes, letting him win the argument. He was cooking the food, so in reality, he had to work on that instead of entertaining me. I let my mind wonder to random thoughts before it finally settled on the subject that is my best friend. I don’t really know why, but I find myself thinking about Asher a whole lot more than normal. Normally I’ll just wonder what he’s up to, or if he has a crush on anyone at school. Then a few days ago when I saw his picture with some random dude, my mind went crazy. I wanted to know who this kid was, but I wanted to make sure he was right for my Asher. I’m protective of him, even if he is like a month older and an inch taller.
Asher’s been hurt in the past. I know this first hand, and it took me nearly everything not to beat the hell out of his ex-boyfriend. He’s not defenseless, but I wanted to get in on the fighting. After his dick of a ex cheated on him, Asher gave him a nasty shiner. I was rather proud that he left that huge of a bruise. Since then people laid off on teasing him too. They just either stopped caring or were too scared to say anything. I don’t want whoever his boy toy is to mess with him. He’s my best friend.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with us in the future honestly. We’ve been attached at the hip since we met. I’ve never really gone more than four days without talking to him. Besides my mom, Asher’s the one person that I rely the most on. I can talk to him about anything in the world and he won’t judge me like I feel my other friends will. How fucking corny does that sound?
“Dammit, Stryk, you’re zoning out a lot.” Asher snapped, waving his hands in front of my face. “Are you okay, man?”
I rubbed my hands over my face.
“I’m fine, Asher.”
“Are you sure? A minute ago you looked like you were going to be a little sick,”
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “I’m just thinking a lot today.”
“Are you sure that you’re okay?” He asked me.
I rolled my eyes.
“Yes, I am, Ash. Go back to doing whatever the hell you were doing a minute ago,”
“I was asking you what time the party is starting so that I can bring Dylan by,”
“Um…fuck if I know,” I shrugged. “Why can’t I meet him before?”
“Because we’re unofficial,”
“Oh, right. He’s the fuck buddy.”
“Shut up man.” He laughed, turning back around.
I hopped off of the counter.
“Get to cookin, good lookin.” I stated before smacking his ass and walking toward the living room. I turned on MTV, letting the stupid Guidos on the Jersey Shore make fools of themselves. I didn’t care for them much but it honestly was entertainment. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything today. I don’t know why, but I honestly wanted to go to sleep. I sleep an awful lot, but Asher hardly ever sleeps. We’re so opposite sometimes that it makes me laugh. He has blonde hair and green eyes, as were I have black hair and blue eyes. He can be quiet when he wants to, and I’m the life of the party most of the time.
` “Here ya go…” He trailed off, sitting a plate of chicken and mac-n-cheese on my lap.
I laughed.
“You went all out for me,”
“Only the best for you, sweet cheeks,” Asher playfully winked.
I rolled my eyes at him, and found a decent show to watch while we ate. I took the plates to the kitchen when we were done eating. We started watching Paranormal Activity around eight. I got really tired so I stretched my body across the couch with my head in Asher’s lap. His fingers slowly weaved themselves in and out of my hair. He knew that it soothed me, so he played with my hair until I fell asleep.
I’m always happier when I’m around Asher.

♥

“I’m so fucking wasted!” My friend Chad yelled. He nearly spilt his drink all over his girlfriend Taylor while he did.
“Careful, slick,” I chuckled. “Don’t get your drink on the lady,”
“I am careful!” He slurred. I rolled my eyes at the guy. He was a messy drunk. He always has been a messy drunk. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
I rolled my eyes.
“He’s on his way with a boy.” I replied. I felt like I was yelling too loud, but the horrible music blocked nearly everything else out. Yelling was a must. “We’re all meeting him tonight!”
“Asher has a boyfriend?” Izzy looked completely confused.
“Apparently,” Seth shrugged. “I didn’t know either. Did you, Stryker?”
“Not until a few days ago,” I shrugged, bringing my toxic blend to my lips and taking a few gulps down. I felt like something was going to go horribly bad. It always did when things like this started to happen. Asher doesn’t exactly have the best taste in guys.
“Why in the hell didn’t he tell me?!” Izzy demanded. “How did you know before me? I’m the girl, dammit.”
“I only know cause I saw a picture of them, Iz.” I explained. “He insists that it’s his boy toy, and not a boyfriend. I think that they’re just fucking,”
“Jealous?” Taylor joked.
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh yeah, I’m definitely jealous. The green monster all the way,”
“Dude, you’re a dick,” Seth commented.
I shrugged, and looked toward the door. In walked Asher with the same guy that I saw on his computer. The guy had dark brown hair, and was pretty much dressed the same as Asher. He wasn’t nearly as tall as I was, or as good looking for that matter. He was cute, for a guy I guess. He looked to be around the same age as we are.
“Guys, this is Dylan,” Asher introduced us. “Dylan, this is Chad, his girlfriend Taylor, Seth, Izzy, and Stryker. Now that you know everyone, mingle. I’m going to get some drinks. What do you want?”
“Anything.” Dylan smiled.
Asher leaned over, and kissed Dylan’s lips. I cringed a little bit on the inside, and took a sip from my cup. The involuntarily reaction was not welcomed from me.
“So you’re the famous Stryker.
I smirked.
“The one and only,”
“I heard that you’re a pretty big trouble-maker,”
“I haven’t heard anything about you. Now if you would excuse me…” I trailed off. I took another huge gulp of my drink before I started toward the make-shift dance floor. I grabbed the nearest bimbo, and we started to dance, if you can call it that. It’s more like a fucking in public sort of thing. I’m all for hooking up at parties, but I don’t want to rip some chick’s clothes off while we’re dancing. It’s not my style. I made up some half-ass excuse to leave. The girl was so drunk that she just giggled in return. It gets really annoying when that happens. I don’t like messy girls. So I walked away, and into the kitchen. I did need another drink.
“There you are,” Asher’s voice stated.
I looked up from my cup.
“Here I am!”
“You just kind of disappeared…rather quickly,”
“I had a girl to get to,”
“Mmhmm…and how did that one work out for you?”
“She’s too fucking drunk to even fuck.” I answered bluntly. “Dylan’s an ass by the way,”
“Funny, that’s the same thing he said about you. The only difference is that I knew that already,” Asher laughed. “Why did you just walk away?”
“I’ve got better stuff to do with myself besides meet your boyfriend.” I stated. “I’m going out to smoke. Wanna join me?”
Asher looked around for a minute.
“Sure,” He finally agreed.
We both walked out of the un-named house, and sat down on the porch edge. After I got comfortable, I pulled out two cigarettes and handed one to Asher. He took it, and lit his after I finished lighting my own. I took a few long drags and let awkward silence consume us.
“Having fun?”
“Not as much as I normally do.” He huffed. “I just…I told you that it wasn’t the right time for everyone to meet Dylan.”
“I’m pissed that you kept him a secret.”
Asher shook his head.
“Alcohol makes you honest,”
“Are you saying that I wasn’t honest before?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” He stated. “You’re always so fucking guarded. Sometimes I really wish I could read your mind. Like right now. I can’t tell what you’re thinking at all, and it’s driving me insane,”
“My mind is a dangerous place,” I stated with a playful wink. I took a few more drags from my cigarette. I flicked the ashes on the ground, and turned back toward my best friend. “Come on, let’s go get fucking crazy and make out like we normally do.” I joked.
Asher chuckled, and nodded in agreement before he put out his nearly finished cigarette. I stood up and finished my drink. Asher and I got back into the kitchen. I made us stronger drinks, and we walked back to where the party was. The rest of our friends and Dylan were all standing there. We chatted, but I barely heard what was being said. Asher and I were hanging all over each other, as usual at parties. It made me smile that Dylan didn’t like it. That’s always a plus.
“THIS IS MY SONG!” Asher and I shouted at the same time that California Girls from Katy Perry came on. I looked at my best friend and he started laughing. We linked arms, and started toward the dance floor. Our bodies got pressed together with the other teens around us in a grinding mess. It was something that would normally happen between us, but something felt different. I still couldn’t put my finger on it, but something bad was going to happen.
“Does that happen a lot?” Dylan asked us the second we were able to pull away from the crowd.
“Every time that song comes on,” Izzy giggled. She was the only one that was sober enough to drive us home. “Are you guys about ready to go? Stryker looks like he’s about to pass out,”
I nodded my head with a lazy smile on my face.
“I’m drunk, bitches!” I cheered, holding up my drink, and gulping the last of it down. It got to the part where I couldn’t even taste it anymore. That’s how wasted I am.
“Come on, guys. I have to get you back home. Dylan, you’re going to have to direct me back to your house.” Izzy instructed.
“Is it cool if I stay a little longer? The party is still in fool swing.”
“Yeah,” She nodded with small smile before wrapping her small arm around my waist, and the other arm around Asher’s.
I don’t know how long it took her to finally get us back to Asher’s house, but she did. She told us to figure out how to get up the stairs to his room by ourselves before she walked next door to her house. Somehow Asher made it up the stairs first. He offered his hand out to me, and I took it slowly. We made it up to his room. He slowly started to get undressed, and I let my eyes wonder. In my drunken state, I didn’t realize that I was eye raping my best friend. I didn’t realize that I was slowly taking off my clothes too. I didn’t realize that we were slowly walking toward each other. As soon as I was close enough to Asher, my hands found his face, and brought our lips crashing together.
Heat radiated between the two of us. I loved the feeling of his lips pressed against mine. I didn’t care how wrong I would think that this is when I’m sober. I didn’t think at all. I did whatever I wanted to fucking do because I could. Drinking clouded my brain, and allowed me to act like a completely idiot. I wanted to kiss him deeper, so I pressed myself closer to Asher. He took my bottom lip in between his teeth, making me moan. I cussed at the feel I felt from the simple action. Our lips moved, and I took the opportunity to push my tongue into his mouth. My muscle explored every inch of his mouth. I could taste whatever drink he had consumed earlier tonight.
It all stopped way to fast. One second we were making out in the middle of his room, and the next we were flying at opposite sides of his room. I stared at Asher and he stared back at me. Neither of us was sure who pushed away who, but it happened. I was panting, staring at him with my glassy eyes. All I wanted to do was feel his mouth back against my own. It felt a thousand times better than any other kiss I’ve gotten in my life. Asher’s the best kisser I’ve had the pleasure of kissing.
“We…uh…should go to sleep,”
I nodded in agreement, catching my breath. He slid into his bed, and pulled back the covers, allowing me to crawl in with him. I moved slowly, and I got in his bed. Asher and I laid completely still, and as far part as we could possibly get. I stared up at the ceiling, my mind running wild.
“Ash?”
“Yeah, Stryk?”
“You’re my best friend, you know that right?” I asked.
“Yeah…I know…”
“Good,” I replied.
It was silent for a couple more minutes.
“Stryker?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to kiss you again,”
“I want to kiss you again too, Asher,” I admitted. “Maybe when we’re sober?”
“I’d like that,”
I almost smiled and let the alcohol take me away to a dreamland.