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Almost Lover

Goodbye My Hopeless Dream

“Babe, if you don’t hurry up then we will be late!” I yelled through the house.
“I’m almost done!” He yelled. “It’s just a dinner date!”
“With my mother!” I yelled back. “You know how she gets.”
“Boo-bear…baby…” He trailed off, coming down the stairs in time to wrap is scarf around his neck. “You live like ten seconds that way.”
“It doesn’t matter, Ash.” I sighed. “We just can’t be late.”
“Don’t get your skinnies in a twist.” Asher rolled his eyes, offering me his hand. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, pulling him out of the front door. We walked relatively fast. It was rather hard considering that the snow was melting at the moment. The slush was turning brown with the mud, mixing, and making it nasty. You would think that it wouldn’t snow so much in March, but we were kind of hit hard this year. Only a few more weeks to April, and spring break. I was insanely excited for Spring Break. Asher and I had a trip to Florida for our week off, together, and without our parents. As usual the rest of our friends will be joining us on the trip. I was excited, but I was a little uncomfortable. Our friends have seen us interact, but they have never seen us at home.
I wanted to smack my face into a wall. I don’t want our two, very straight, male best friends to see us being…together. I didn’t want them to comment on how we tend to cuddle, or hang off one another. It happens all of the time. We’re always all over each other unless we’re eating. Even then, our hands are usually placed on each other’s thighs. That’s just how we are. It is a part of our own private little world. I can act like that with Asher because he’s my boyfriend. His family doesn’t mind. It’s normal. For our friends, not so much.
“Hey,” My mom answered the door, wrapping her arms around each of us before bringing us into the house. She was having a dinner party and insisted that the two of us had to be there. “I’m glad that you two could come.”
“Us too,” Asher smiled that dazzling smile of his that makes my heart flutter like a damn girl.
“Everyone else is here,” She smiled. “Come on in.”
I smiled and looked over at my boyfriend for a brief moment. He leaned in to give me a small kiss before letting go of me all together. I love my mom, and I love that she’s starting to understand. But my mom’s boss and colleagues don’t have any idea about the two of us. We weren’t allowed to sit across from each other because my mom felt like we’d make heart eyes. So she sat us side by side with a promise from us not to get touchy.
“We can do this,” Asher whispered right before we entered their lively living room.
“Look who finally showed up!” My mom playfully stated as soon as the three of us entered, gaining the attention of everyone. “This is my son Stryker, and his best friend Asher.”
People chorused in hellos and small waves. My mom got everyone moved into our big enough dining room for everyone. Asher and I sat down side by side, and I wanted nothing more than to grab his hand in mine. I felt weird with everyone looking at me. They smiled, but I honestly don’t like these people. I never have liked them, and now I felt uncomfortable. I silently thanked God that Asher’s matching necklace was skillfully hidden underneath his scarf. My necklace, however was hanging loosely from around my neck. Our rings weren’t going to be taken off no matter what. My mom didn’t seem to notice them at all, so that was okay.
“Stryker, you are a Senior in high school, correct?” A balding man questioned me.
I nodded.
“Yes, Sir. I am,” I nodded.
“What are your plans after school?”
“He’s going to be going to my Alma Mater, and getting a degree in graphic design.”
“Impressive,” He replied. The others agreed. I just nodded awkwardly, stealing a glance at Asher. He didn’t look to happy with the sudden news. He was annoyed with me. I understand though, we still haven’t talked about college or our future. That scares the fucking crap out of me.
“Let me give you a piece of advice, son.” Another man stated, leaning forward. “College is a lot of fun. It’s a time to experience lots of opportunities and loads of girls.”
Beside me, Asher started choking on his water. My eyes went wide, and I looked over at my boyfriend. I instantly started to pat his back to make sure that he was okay. He stopped choking, and turned to give me a small smile. It took me a minute to realize that we were just sort of looking at each other. My hand had moved from his back, to his neck. I had been subconsciously rubbing my thumb over the back of his neck. I quickly retracted it before looking at the man that had been talking.
“Sorry…you were saying?”
“Loads of girls to experience,” He smiled. “That’s how I met this little lady,” He replied, smiling at his wife.
“That’s…uh…nice.” I forced a smile.
Asher gave my thigh a light squeeze.
“Girls are trouble, son, but worth it in the end.” Another added.
That man’s wife playfully swatted at her husband.
“We are not,” She playfully stated. “Once you find that someone though, don’t let them go.”
I chewed my lip and slightly looked over at Asher.
“I won’t.” I answered. I coughed awkwardly and leaned back in my chair a little bit. Asher’s hand had rubbed against my thigh a little bit. I felt a blush flutter quickly to my face. I snuck my hand over to him, and poked his side. “Actually, I think I’ve already found that someone.”
“That’s wonderful, Stryker!” A woman that worked with my mom smile brightly at me. “When did you find them?”
My mom’s eyes looked at us curiously. She had assured us earlier that we were allowed to casually mention our relationship if it were to come up. She let us know that they might not be comfortable right away with us, but that was enough for me to want to tell everyone. It seemed like this was the perfect time for it to come up. I didn’t like not touching my boyfriend. It was weird not being like that with him. I wanted to be all over him, in a different sense. I wouldn’t say that I was slightly relieved to say something, because my heart beat loudly in my chest.
“All of my life, actually. We’ve always been really close. We got voted Cutest Couple at school.”
The group of people around the table all cooed or smiled widely at me.
“Why aren’t we getting to meet the girl?”
“Is she shy?”
“How long have you been a couple?”
“Are you going to the same college?”
I took a deep breath and looked over at Asher. He gave me a small nod and wink. I felt slightly like the girl as I gingerly grabbed his hand in my own, on top to the table. He kept looking right at me, and I felt a wider smile appear on my lips. I heard the table go silent. I guess that people were catching on. It was rather obvious.
“It’s not a girl, I never said that it was.” I said, looking at my boyfriend. “He’s not shy…at all. He’s wonderful, and incredibly good-looking. He had this sandy blonde hair, and a nose ring that I find adorable.”
Asher laughed at me, shaking his head.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“We’ve been together for almost seven months.” I smiled. “And we have no freaking clue in the world with what we’re going to do after graduation. We’re planning on figuring that one out later on in life.”
“That’s sweet,”
The comment came from a woman holding onto her husband’s hand tightly. She smiled over at us, and I felt less-uncomfortable. Asher helped a lot with his thumb tracing smooth patterns over the back of my palm. It took me a second to realize how tightly I was holding onto his hand. I finally relaxed a little bit before looking between him and the woman.
“Thank you…”
“How…did…” Another man trailed off. “How did it happen?”
“From what we heard, you have been quiet the ladies man,” One more added.
Honestly their faces and names all blended into one. These were people whom I knew were important, but all looked the same to me. I have never bothered to actually remember their names. I knew that somewhere in the room, my mother’s boss was sitting with his wife. I knew that the friends she went out with work happened to also be sitting at the table. I just couldn’t for the life of me remember any of them.
“I don’t know if you’d really want to hear the story,” I shrugged lightly. I took my hand out of Asher’s and wrapped my arm. My hand landed on his waist, giving it a light squeeze.
“Don’t be shy now,” The nice woman smiled at us, urging us on.
“It all kind of happened at a high school party, I’m sure you know how those go,” Asher explained.
“So I was doing my usual thing. I was randomly looking for some tipsy girl to get with, because I had nothing better to do. I had just found out that Asher had another guy that he had been seeing. I wanted to meet this guy, but I really didn’t know why. I just did. I got really possessive when I saw Asher and the guy show up. It was weird for me, because I felt like this guy was trying to take my place. Anyway, Asher and I got back to his house, and I just kissed him.” I shrugged. “The rest is a weird, confusing back story that no one has time to hear,”
“Just make sure that you use protection,”
It was my turn to start choking on my drink. Asher started laughing beside me while trying to remain the caring boyfriend that I’ve know him to honestly be behind closed doors. When I finally stopped choking, I joined my boyfriend in on the laughter. This seriously confused everyone else around the table, but no one said a thing. My mom looked very confused also.
“We don’t…I mean…” I trailed off, gasping for air slightly.
“We haven’t slept together,” Asher laughed.
“Well we share the same bed, but we have done that.”
The room filled with slightly awkward silence before a few people laughed along with us. After a few light-hearted jokes, some desert, and mingling, Asher and I stood up to leave. My mom showed us to the door. She promised us that we were a hit before sending us on our merry little way back down the road to his house. It was almost like my mom couldn’t get rid of us fast enough. I guess she could sense the slight-off feeling we were giving toward one another.
Asher’s warm hand slipped into my awaiting hand before we exited the house. We took our time walking back toward his house. I felt the tension building to a point where it was almost drowning me in it. I wanted to talk to Asher, but I knew that it was going to be hard. This college conversation has been put off for a really long time now. We have roughly around two months before we graduate. The conversation really should happen sooner rather than later.
“I think that we should talk about it,” The brave boy broke the silence.
I sighed, looking over at him.
“Talk about what?”
“Everything really…we haven’t discussed college, moving…sex.” He stated. “We really should talk about it, don’t you think?”
“So you are mentally freaking out over sex in that brain of yours?”
“No, not just sex!” He laughed awkwardly. “I’ve been thinking about other things too…”
“Like what?” I teased him, bumping my hip against his own.
The slightly taller blonde boy blushed a slight bit before looking down at our intertwined fingers. He chewed on his bottom lip cutely before sighing, and finally looking back up at me. I couldn’t decide if the pink color on his cheeks was from the chilly air or if it was a blush that actually appeared on his face.
It’s kind of funny how childish, and cute I see my boyfriend. He is rather proud of being a man to most people that others don’t get to see the softer side of him. He blushes all of the time around me. He loves cuddling, and baking. He’s rather an impressive cook. Asher is a notorious smart-ass, but in reality, he’s just sassy. That’s the way he is, and always has been. He’s sort of a diva, but in the good kind of way. I see this side of him more than others, because he just doesn’t care around me. I see him.
“Do you ever think about it?” He finally questioned.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek.
“Think about….” I trailed off, leaving him an opportunity to either finish his statement or take the conversation a totally different way that I had thought he was going to.
“It….” He sighed. “Do you ever think about sex?”
“I’m a eighteen-year old boy.” I sighed, rolling my eyes.
“No…I mean do you ever think about us…ya know…and…it.”
I laughed, shaking my head.
“Of course I think about it, you ass.” I rolled my eyes. “Like I said, I’m a boy.”
“Yeah, who’s dating another boy,” He retorted.
Such a diva.
“I’m not going to lie about it.” I sighed, slightly stopping. “I do think about sex…with you…”
“Me too…” Asher sighed, not saying anything else.
“Do you want to? Ya know…ever…do it…with me?” I asked, my throat suddenly tightening.
Asher nodded.
I snorted a small laugh.
“We’re acting so weird about this subject.” I stated. “It’s sex…just now it’s sex with another dude.”
“It’s sex with another dude that just so happens to be your best friend,” Asher added.
“It’s sex with another dude that is not only my best friend, but also my boyfriend…” I trailed off slightly.
“It’s sex with my second actual boyfriend ever…and someone that I’m in love with,” Asher sighed.
I nodded my head.
“Yeah…sex with someone I’m in love with,”
“That’s a scary concept if you really think about it.”
“I have,” He assured me. “Do you….think that maybe…”
I chewed on my bottom lip again. I took every word that Asher had said to me within our walk to his house. We were just standing outside his front door, on the porch. He was trying to slightly avoid eye contact with me, but I tugged his hand. He looked at me. Our eyes had some sort of silent conversation. I can’t really explain it, but we just understood each other.
“Yeah…we definitely should,”
“When?” He asked.
“Soon…” I trailed off.
Nothing else was said between the two of us again. We stood for a minute longer under the yellow glow of the porch light. His parents were at the firm again. His mom was helping his dad with his latest case. So we had the house. I believe that Asher realized this around the same time that I did. He slowly let go of my hand, and leaned in until our lips touched each other’s slowly. It was almost agonizing how slowly he was kissing me. I gripped the blond boy’s hips, and pressed our bodies together tightly. A slow heat was starting to settle over my body, and I was almost positive that Asher was feeling the same heat. He pulled away from me, tugging at my hand. Something about his green eyes scared the living shit out of me.
But I followed him into the house. We kicked off our long coats, and shoes. Our eyes never left each other’s. Asher never turned his back to me. He started to walk backward in his house until we found the stairs. He started going up it slowly. His stare held me, leaving me to mindlessly follow him. I didn’t exactly know until this moment just how seductive Asher Blake could be. He looked harmless enough, but those damn green eyes held me. He made it up the stairs in one piece, still hanging onto my hand and my stare.
We made it just beyond the stairs when our bodies were pulled together again. Our hips met, and I let out a surprised hiss. I didn’t expect to exactly feel that good that fast. Our chapped lips met happily. They slowly moved with each other as he started to slowly back up with us. I knew that Asher was searching for his room, and I knew that was on his mind. Hell, it was clearly on my mind too. My heart started to pick up in my chest when our lips moved faster together, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. His hands roamed to my back, right to my ass before giving it a small squeeze. I let out a surprising sound, but it wasn’t from discomfort.
Asher’s hands made it to my thighs, giving them both a simultaneous squeeze. He didn’t have to pull away or say anything for me to quickly wrap my long legs around his waist. Still he continued to walk toward his room, but faster now that I was wrapped around him like an octopus. It was easy to see where this was all going to head, and I was happy about it. I wanted it to happen, and have for a while. Truthfully, I probably wanted it to happen more so than Asher did.
There was no backing out when he closed his door and locked it. There was no backing out when our kisses became too hot, and our breathing labored. There certainly was no backing out when we began to rock our barely clothed hips together; only our boxers separated us. Everything he did was slow; agonizing. I wanted, pleaded, and begged for him to continue. I wanted more than anything to feel nothing but him. I only wanted him.
It hurt. That’s pretty much goes without saying. It was uncomfortable and damn well unpleasant…at first. It wasn’t long before I was begging like some cheap whore. Not very long after the first round, a second and third followed. My body somehow started to both tense up and relax more each time. I was way too happy to actually do anything about it. I left a generous amount of bruises on Asher’s chest and neck. He left quite a few on other places on my body. I had a few that littered my hips. I was sure that there were even some on my back; from round three.
Nothing compared to the feeling of actually having Asher there when I woke up. For some reason, after I feel asleep I convinced myself that he would be gone. That was usually how it happened after I had sex with someone. Once I was coherent enough to know what had happened; I remembered that it was Asher. It was Asher that I actually allowed to do…those things to my body. It was Asher, the boy that has been my best friend, that was curling his body around my own. His arm was tightly wrapped around my middle, holding us close together.
“Morning,” He whispered, his voice was husky. It sent shivers up and down my spin. Never have I heard such a wonderful sound come from his mouth that early in the morning.
“Morning,” My own voice cracked. I resisted the urge to stretch. Instead, I gripped Asher’s arm tightly.
“You sound like shit,” He laughed. “What happened?”
“Hmm…let me think…” I trailed off sarcastically.
“You’ve got quite the set of lungs on you,” Asher yawned. “I didn’t know that you had it in you,”
I rolled my eyes.
“You’ve got some pretty good pipes on you as well,” I complimented. “As well as everything else,”
Asher chuckled, nuzzling his nose further into my neck.
“I like this.”
“Me too,” I agreed. “Why did we wait for so long?”
“Hell if I know.” I yawned again.
“We should probably get cleaned up,” Asher stated. “My room is a fucking mess.”
“Yeah…” I laughed.
“And you made quite the mess.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever, dick face,” I snorted back. “Care to shower with me?”
“I thought you would never ask.”
♠ ♠ ♠
OH MY GOSH! What has happened with this chapter? I don't even know! I wasn't planning on even heading this direction until much later, but it happened way too soon. I've caught up with my pre-written chapters so that is why this one has taken so long.

Please leave me some lovely comments.

xoxo Rae