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Almost Lover

Can't You Just Let Me Be

The second that I entered Asher’s house, I heard loud sounds coming from upstairs. It sounded a whole lot like yelling. I furrowed my brows before I started toward the stairs. I jogged lightly up them, and pushed Asher’s bedroom door open. Inside, I saw where all of the yelling was coming from. Seth and Asher were playing Halo, and yelling at both the tv screens and each other. I chuckled a little bit, but the two boys continued to play with the same fever. I shouldn’t really be surprised to find another person here after leaving him to fend for himself.
I sat down on the bed behind them, and they seemed to notice me at the same time. However, the two kept playing the game as if nothing at all had happened. At least they were having fun all day. I got stuck with Alyssa for the most part of today. My mom and Mary Ann took off to do some girly stuff or whatever. They decided to make the two of us stick together. Alyssa is fun and all, but I honestly would have rather not hung out with her all day long. I did actually want to hang out with my mother. She’s just dumb enough not to realize this.
So instead of actually staying with my mom, Alyssa and I went to get coffee, shopped a little bit, before I actually took her home. The girl had a date that night, and I didn’t want to be away from Asher any longer than I really wanted to be. I did eventually get to talk to my mom. She started to talk about when I was younger and all that jazz. She even casually mentioned that she wanted me to move back in. I won’t lie, it really confused the hell out of me. I don’t really understand why she suddenly cares.
“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Seth laughed, brining me out of my daze. “I’ll just kick your ass some other time?”
“You’re leaving?” I spoke up, making the two of them turn toward me.
“Yeah…” He trailed off. “I’ve been gone all day with this one. My momma probably wants me home!”
“Momma’s boy,” Asher lightly snickered before playfully punching Seth in the arm. “I’ll see you later.”
“Next week!” Seth smiled. “We’re going to have the best Spring Break ever!”
“Yeah,” I agreed half-heartedly.
“Sure thing, man. See you later,” Asher laughed before Seth waved to the both of us, and bolted down the stairs.
“So…what did you do today?” I asked Asher as he turned off his gaming console.
“Seth and I went to the gym,”
“That sounds like fun,” I laughed. “What else?”
“Well…we went to get some food afterwards. We ate at Mc’Donalds before we just walked around.”
“Sounds like fun.” I sighed, falling back against the bed.
“Then we walked pasted this little coffee shop,” Asher stated. “And I saw the weirdest thing. This guy had on what looked like my favorite hoodie. He looked an awful lot like you, but it couldn’t have been you, right?” Asher asked. “Because he was with a girl, and you would tell me,”
I sighed.
“That was me,”
“No shit,” Asher retorted.
“If you paid more attention toward the girl then you would know that it was just Alyssa. My mom had planned a little get together. She wanted to talk about some things, but her and Mary Ann got talking and eventually just sort of left us. I was just hanging out with her,”
“Really?” Asher sighed. “You should have just told me that.”
“You didn’t ask,” I replied with a shrug. “She really wants me to go back home though.”
“Are you going to?” He questioned, but I remained perfectly silent. Asher’s face tensed up just the slightest as he continued to look at me. I sighed heavily. “Are you going to, Stryk?”
“Look…let’s talk about this later, yeah? I’m sorry. I’m really tired, and I just want to actually go back to sleep,” I answered. “We will talk in the morning,”
“Okay,” Asher nodded before crawling into the bed with me.
We just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. I felt like our little world was starting to get a few cracks in it. It’s like all of the happiness is slowly starting to dwindle again, and there is nothing that I can do to stop it now. We’re just going to have to work on something. I can’t really put my finger on it, but things are changing again. Somehow, I know that I have something to do with it. Asher’s not exactly to blame. It’s not like I love him any less, it’s just that everything is hurling toward us, and fast.
Asher didn’t even reach for my hand. We just laid down a few feet apart. Neither one of us wanted to really reach out to grab the other one. We didn’t really need that right now, in our minds. We just needed to be together without really being together. I guess we are kind of at the point where we needed our space. We’ve been together a while now, and nothing has really gotten easier. I thought that when you love someone everything becomes easier. It really didn’t in our case.
I guess that I kind of feel like I’m drowning still. I’m not as happy as I was a month ago. I haven’t exactly figured out how to tell Asher that I am going to move to North Carolina instead of staying in Baltimore. I have to tell him that I’m actually considering moving back in with my mother. I know that she wants to experience the last few months I have with her. She wanted to be my mom again. I think that she’s just finally over everything. I should probably still be mad at her, but I’m really not. I forgave her a long time ago. Deep down, I really am a momma’s boy. I’m the only one that she has left.
I couldn’t really take the distance anymore, so I turned over on my side, and peered over at my boyfriend. He looked like he was concentrating on the ceiling once again. I reached my hand forward slowly until it lightly touched his. Asher tensed the slightest, now aware of my hand, but he slowly relaxed again as his hand took my own. I sighed, and he finally looked over at me. He turned to smile, he did, but it just didn’t work on his face. He looked more like he was in pain than anything else.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s fine,” He sighed, looking back up at the ceiling.
“You know that I love you still, right?” I questioned.
“That’s very convincing,” I joked lightly, but the boy beside me didn’t laugh. He didn’t smile, and he didn’t look at me again. Instead he kept his blank stare at the ceiling while I continued to stare at him. It was starting to really eat at me, so I moved closer. Again he tensed when I wrapped my arm around him, and nuzzled my face into his neck. He didn’t relax as soon as I had hoped that he would.
Like I said; I feel like I’m drowning.

I swear I nearly jumped ten feet when I heard my name screeching from half-way down the hall. I was walking in the hall alone, on my way to meet up with Asher by his locker, when I heard it. I turned around just quick enough to see Taylor running like a chicken with her head cut off toward me. I was really confused. She looked like she just saw a ghost or something like that. I honestly was starting to worry about her.
“Are you okay? What happened?” I asked quickly as soon as the girl reached me.
“I’m fine!” She screeched. “I mean, I’m not fine, not really. Actually, scratch that. I’m freaking out. Something beyond belief happened. Something that can’t really be fixed! Something beyond epic proportions has happened and I have no idea how to fix it! HELP ME.” She yelled, shaking his shoulders. While Taylor yelled loudly at Stryker, it caused quite the scene. Asher was slowly approaching, not knowing if he should interrupt or not.
“Uh…Tay?” Asher questioned, placing a hand on her small shoulder. She turned around so fast, looking at him with her big, brown eyes. “Why are you shaking my boyfriend?”
“I need help!” She sighed heavily.
“We need to know the actual situation,” Stryker stated.
“How can we possibly help if we have no idea what’s going on?”
“Are you both free after school?”
“Yes…” Asher trailed off, looking over at me for confirmation. I simply nodded, not that Taylor noticed that anyway.
“Great! Come over to the theatre. I need you guys. You both have no idea how much I need you right now.”
“Okay,” I nodded, agreeing to the girl. She was starting to scare me.
“THANK YOU!” Taylor lunged herself at me, wrapped her arms and legs around my waist. It was an awkward, seeing as my boyfriend was standing right there. Boy; as in male. Male as in same sex, and someone I very much am in love with. Not to mention the fact that Chad is her boyfriend and I haven’t had the best reputation. I hugged her body briefly before she was jumping off of me. Before I knew what was happening, Taylor was beaming at Asher and I. “I love you both so much right now!”
“Taylor, people are staring at us,” Asher stated with a big sigh.
“I don’t care. I’m just so happy that I could kiss you!”
“Taylor...” I tried to warn but the girl was already gripping Asher’s terrified face before pressing her lips to his in a sloppy kiss.
“Mwah! I love you gays.” She stated before running back off in whatever direction she had appeared in.
Asher stood, mouth open and eyes wide in shock while I silently scanned the shocked faces around us before I griped his hand in mind. He turned to look at me with this extremely weird expression on his face. Before I knew what was going on, he was wrapping his arms around my middle, burying his head into my shoulder.
“Don’t ever let that happen again.” He stated before pulling away to look at me.”
“What, are you scared of her cooties?” I snickered.
That was enough to catch him off guard, making him punch me in the arm. I smiled widely at the blond boy before our hands were intertwined and heading toward our last class of the day.

“This doesn’t look sketch at all,” Asher stated, looking around the darkened theatre as we entered it.
“Shut it,” I stated. “What in the hell are we going?”
“She just said to walk up to the stage,”
“I can’t see the stage,”
“Well I can’t either!” He shot back. “Let’s just…fuck…wanna make out?”
I snorted, literally snorted, in return. I couldn’t really see my boyfriend’s face, but I could tell that he probably was giving me a sassy look. I shook my head before using my arms to feel my way up his body; locking my arms behind his head.
“Pucker up,”
And so he did, I think. Again, I couldn’t really see him. I pressed my lips against his roughly. It was nice. We hadn’t really had the time or energy to really make-out in a while. I liked kissing Asher roughly. It was a huge turn on, if I’m honest. I love it when he bites my lower lip. That’s exactly what Asher did. He bit my lower lip, moving his teeth slowly off of it until our lips were slotted together again. I was in the middle of sticking my tongue in his mouth when we heard small voices and movement. I didn’t really pay attention, running my hands aggressively through his hair; tugging and pulling at every direction. And yeah, that made Asher moan, gripping my hips tighter than necessary and putting our hips together.
Then the lights in the entire theatre came on, showing that there were other people standing on the stage just twenty feet away. The people moving in must have been the noises that we heard. And yeah, Asher may have had one of his hands on the small of my back and the other tugging a belt loop. I may have had my fingers tangled into his hair; no big deal. Except you know, there were about roughly fifteen people, including Taylor and Chad, standing there with chairs that were placed in a huge circle. Like nonrational human beings we are, we just stood there, lips barely apart, staring at the group of people now looking at us weirdly.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our new CB and Beethoven,”
“Huh?” Asher stated, letting me go. “Ow!”
“Sorry! Damn,” I apologized, removing my fingers from his hair.
“Welcome to the theatre,” Taylor smiled widely and Asher and I bound our way up to the group.
` “What?”
“I need desperate help and do you know how hard it is to find a guy who is willing to kiss another guy within four days?” She asked.
“And you just knew that I would do it?” I asked, furrowing my brows.
“Were you or were you not just sticking your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat?” She smirked.
I rolled my eyes.
“Only as long as other boy is him,”
“Him has a name,” Asher stated, crossing his arms in front of him.
“Not the time, Ash.” I retorted almost by reflex. “And you need us because?”
“Our other two leads quit.” A small, meek voice behind Taylor stated. “I’m Elizabeth.”
“Nice to meet you,” I stated, looking back at Taylor. “Why did they quit?”
“They decided that since the play actually got approved by our Principle that they didn’t want to kiss each other,” She sighed.
“What is this play even about?” Asher asked, looking around at everyone in the group.
“It’s about a group of teenagers all grown up, and going through life. You two will play the leads, though Asher will have a much bigger role,”
“I will?”
“Of course,” She beamed. “You still play the piano right, Stryker?”
“Yeah….” I trailed off.
“Perfect!” She stated. “Welcome to Dog Sees God: Confessions of A Teenage Blockhead.”
♠ ♠ ♠
I have no excuse for why this is so late because being pregnant and stuff. But my baby has been born a while. Oh well, I love you lot.

xoxo Rae