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Almost Lover

And When You Left You Kissed My Lips

I felt myself coming out of the darkness of my dreams. My head was hurting slightly, I wasn’t that drunk last night. I tried to move my arms, but I didn’t get very far considering someone was on one of them, and holding on to the other. I furrowed my brows as I remembered last night. After squeezing my eyes tightly, I slowly started to open them. The creamy, white color of my ceiling came into my view. I yawned, and shifted just a little bit.
Stryker groaned, and rolled over closer to me. His left leg flew over my waist, pinning me to the bed. I chuckled, and turned to look at him. He was still sleeping. He looked adorable. His black hair fanned everywhere, and his mouth was hanging open until it slowly started to close. I smiled slowly as I took in his features. This boy next to me was attractive. There is no question about it. Stryker is good looking, but he’s also my best friend. I’ve never really noticed just how gorgeous he is. I mean, I’ve never even thought about Stryker like that. Then last night when he kissed me, things started to change. He kissed me, not the other way around.
“It’s not polite to stare,” He mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.
I rolled my eyes.
“I wasn’t staring.”
“Only in your dreams,” I retorted playfully.
“Sure…” He groaned, and slowly opened his eyes. Stryker stared at me, and I stared back. His blue eyes normally would look like they were full of life, but I could always tell he was guarded. When I looked into his eyes, I saw all of the confusion and curiosity. His glaze didn’t break mine. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even push me away, or move his leg from around me. “Asher?”
I smiled slowly.
“I really don’t…understand what happened last night,”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I don’t know why I tongue raped you,” He chuckled, rolling his eyes. “It just sort of…happened.”
“I wasn’t exactly complaining,” I snorted.
“I yeah…well…neither am I,” Stryker smiled at me. “I don’t understand why though. I never really thought about you in that way. Well I didn’t until last night,”
“What do you mean?” I chuckled. “Man, stop sounding like fucking thirteen-year old girl,”
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up while I try to understand what the hell is going on,” Stryker stated. He sounded mean, but by the small smile on his face, I could tell that he didn’t really mean to be mean.
“I’m all ears,”
“This…” Stryker trailed off, gesturing to the space in between us. “is weird,”
“Sh! I’m not done.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Go on, Stryk.”
“Okay, right.” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know what made me kiss you. It just sort of happened. My body was moving by isn’t self. My mind had nothing to do with it. If it did, I probably wouldn’t have fucked up and sucked half of your fucking face off.” I just blinked, and nodded so that he could continue. “I feel like I just fucked everything up. We’ve been best friends since we were like three. No matter what, Ash, you’re my best friend. You always have been.” I chewed on my bottom lip, and stared at him. He didn’t say anything back, but he just stared at me again. I didn’t know if he was done, or if he wanted me to say anything. He took a deep breath, and moved so that he was closer to me.
“I’ve always clung to you, but now I feel like I can’t get close enough. I just want to be closer.” I moved my body so that his leg was almost wrapped around my waist. We were closer together now that we were before. I figured that it was what Stryker wanted, considering he said that he wants to be closer to me. “Ash, now would be a really good time to say something to me.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Stryk. I’m trying, but you’re going to have to come right out and say it. I can’t read your fucking mind.”
Stryker sighed, and looked down at his slightly shaking his hands.
“You’re making me nervous,” He answered, still looking down. His hand shook as he slowly grabbed my right forearm. I watched his hand as he slowly moved toward my own hand, and linked our fingers together. I looked back up at his face, and he looked just as confused as I was. I held his trembling hand in my own. I smiled at him, and slowly his hand started to stop shaking. Stryker smiled back at me. “I…this is weird.”
“Weird?” I asked, slightly confused.
“Different,” Stryker confessed. “This is all…new to me,”
I nodded my head, understanding. When I realized that I was gay, I was the most confused kid out there. I didn’t understand why I didn’t find girls in skimpy bikinis attractive, but rather guys in swimming trunks extremely sexy. I can’t imagine what Stryker’s thinking. He’s never been good at accepting things, which would explain his constant kingliness to me.
“Are you gay, Stryk?” I asked honestly.
“I have no mother fucking idea, Ash.” He stated. “I thought that I was straight. I mean, I know that we have a fucking bromance or whatever going on but…I just don’t have a clue anymore. It’s like all of these lines that are normally cleared have been majorly blurred. I can’t tell if I’m into or if I’m not. Does that make sense?”
“You’re just confused.” I confirmed. “It’s okay. I was confused too.”
Stryker bit his lip and looked back up at me.
“Does it ever go away,”
I shrugged.
“Eventually. You have to be willing to accept it though,”
“Oh…” He trailed off. “So I’m gay?”
“You’re only gay if you don’t like anymore guys. If it’s just me, you can be like straight but Asher specific.” I joked. Stryker rolled his eyes. “Or you can be gay, and have just not realized it. I mean, you don’t really stay with girls all that long Stryk. You could even be bisexual, if you want to call it like that. Personally I think that bisexual people are just those who are too afraid to come out of the closet.”
“How will I know?”
I sighed, and moved my hand from his. I place my hand on his cheek, just a small gesture.
“You know when you know.” I answered before leaning in. I kissed his soft lips quickly before pulling back. “Just a little something for you to think about,” I smirked.
I liked moments like this. I love that Stryker’s confidence had really gone down. As horrible as that is, I like being the confident one. Well, I’m normally confident, but Stryker’s cocky. He looks fragile and scared. I loved that I knew what I was doing, and he was just playing along like a school girl. I smirked wider at him, and sent a little wink. I swear I saw a small blush covered his cheeks before he covered it up with his own smirk.
“How about a little bit more?” He winked back before reaching up with his hand, and grabbed the back of my neck. Our lips met in the middle. I shifted so that I was closer to him. Our lips moved in sync. It was a nice slow pace before I felt him start to pull away without warning when I deepened it.
“Sorry, sorry.”
“It’s...fine.” He nearly whispered. Stryker looked back at me.
“You want something to eat?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah! Let’s go grab some grub!” He nearly shouted.
We untangled ourselves from each other. We got up out of the bed, and walked toward my bedroom door.
“I’ll race you,”
“Okay, you’re on!” Stryker nearly yelled. We bolted toward the stairs, and he shoved me. I shoved him back extra hard, and he hit the banister. I got in the lead, and started to laugh. Soon enough, Stryker tackled me. I landed on the ground in front of the stairs. I grabbed his ankle, making him face plant. I jumped up, and jumped over Stryker’s figure. He yelled a string of cuss words come from his mouth, and I just chuckled. I got to the kitchen where my parents were home for once.
“What are you guys doing here?” I stopped suddenly, confused almost.
“We got today off,” My mom smiled at my dad before they shared a kiss.
“Hey!” Stryker stated, moving into the kitchen. “Do you have any medicine?”
“What did you boys do last night?” My dad laughed, looking at me.
I sighed.
“Do you really wanna know?”
“Denis! Asher’s sex life has nothing to do with us!”
“MOM!” I yelled and Stryker chuckled. I picked up an apple and chucked it at his head. “Stryker and I aren’t dating, damn.”
“Friends with benefits is the same thing, honey,” My mom rolled her eyes.
“Now Regina…” My dad warned.
“I can assure you that I have not fucked your son,” Stryker stated. “Scouts honor.”
“You’re not scout,” I rolled my eyes. “And like you’d fuck me! You’d bottom,”
Stryker rolled his eyes.
“Please, this fine ass of mine is too damn pretty to have some man’s penis shoved up there,”
“Boys, boys, boys.” My mom warned with that fake ‘you’re going to get in trouble’ voice. “Go sit down in the living room until we’re done cooking, will you?”
“Sure, mom.”
Sure, mom,” Stryker mocked.
I shoved his shoulder before I walked toward my living room, and I sat down on the couch. Stryker joined me seconds later by sitting down on my left side. His right hand back handed my left arm. I rolled my eyes at his childish game. I smacked him back, and before I rested my hand back down, he hit me again. I turned to look at him, but he was smirking at the direction of the TV. I smacked him back, but before I could pulled my hand back, Stryker grabbed my hand with his. He easily slid his hand into mine, holding our hands closer together. I decided to take a small chance, and I moved so that my head was laying on his shoulder. He shifted slightly so that I could be closer, and he laid his head on top of mine.
“I like this.”
“Me too,” Stryker agreed.

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” I yelled loudly at Stryker.
“I SO FUCKING CAN!” He yelled back.
My mom laughed.
“Boys, calm down. It’s just a game.”
“Mom, it is not just a game!” I shouted back at her.
“Asher Daniel Blake, there is no use in yelling over a game of Sorry,”
I huffed, and tossed the dice.
“Whatever. He so cheated.”
“I didn’t cheat!” Stryker chuckled loudly.
Stryker decided to stay for the rest of the day, and since my parents have today and tomorrow off, we’re having family game night.
“Shut your freaking face.” I stated, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
“Asher’s a sore loser. You should see him when we’re playing video games,” Stryker playfully informed my parents.
“I think that this game is over.” My mom smiled. “It’s getting late. Are you staying again, Stryker?”
Stryker chewed on his lip, looking absolutely adorable.
“Um…not tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow though. I’ve got some things I have to really take care of tonight…but thanks for the offer,” He replied.
“Anytime, honey.” She replied before she got up. “Come along, Denis,”
My dad rolled his eyes.
“The ole ball and chains calling. Sleep tight. Don’t stay here too late,” My dad playfully warned.
I rolled my eyes.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, dad.”
“Don’t be a smart ass.” He instructed before walking toward my parent’s shared bedroom.
“Well…what to do…what to do…” Stryker playfully wiggled his eyebrows. I shook my head and stood up from the dining room table. Stryker followed me up to my room. I got into his jeans pocket and grabbed a cigarette. After walking over to my window seal, I pulled up the window. I stuck the lighter, and inhaled. I only took too drags before handing it over to Stryker. “That was kind of pointless.”
“Sorry. I just need a quick puff. I’m not a chain smoker like you are.”
“I’m not exactly a chain smoker. I just smoke when I’m stressed.”
“Which is a lot,” I shook my head. “How you copeing with today?”
Stryker shrugged.
“It was almost a normal day, man.”
“Key word: almost. We normally don’t sneak kisses or hold hands whenever we feel like it.”
“That’s true.” He shrugged.
“What kind of shit do you have to take care of tonight?”
Stryker smirked slightly.
“Caught that, did you?”
“Yeah…” I trailed off. “I was just wondering. I mean I can take you not wanting to spend time with me.”
“I do want to spend time with you, Ash.” He laughed. “I’ve just got to figure out all of this…shit too. I can’t do both at the same time,”
I nodded in agreement.
“Do whatever the fuck you’ve gotta do. Just know that I’m not going to wait forever for you to figure it out.”
Stryker furrowed his brows.
“So you’re saying that you like me, but you’re not going to wait for me?”
“In so many words, yes.” I nodded. “Is that a problem?”
Stryker looked like he was struggling with words. So he took another long drag from his cigarette, and flew it back out again.
“I guess not…it’s just…it might take a while, Asher. What if it takes a while for me to be...okay with it? With us?”
“If you’re okay with us right now, then there shouldn’t be too much more you need to figure out.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “It’s going to take getting used to. I’m sure that you know that.”
“I do,” I agreed. “But if you feel something, anything between us then you shouldn’t have to much a problem with the other half,”
Stryker nodded and tossed the cigarette out of the window.
“I think I’m okay with us right now.”
“You think?” I asked, furrowing my brows. “You either are or you aren’t.”
Stryker smirked.
“You might need to convince me,”
“You’re such a little bitch.” I chuckled. “You know that?”
“Whatever,” He stated. “I do have to head out soon.”
“Are you sure that I can’t change your mind?”
“I’m pretty sure,” He laughed.
I smirked and leaned over, waiting from him to come to me. Stryker smiled at me before leaning in and placing his lips against my own. His hands found my face, and he brought me closer to him. I laughed, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He moved so that he was standing right in front of me. Stryker slowly started to pull away from me, and he laughed.
“You’re definitely the girl.”
“Fuck off, Asher.” He mumbled before kissing me again. “I’ve gotta go now.”
“Are you positive?”
“Yeah. I’ve got a lot to sort out,” He repeated himself from earlier. “I’d love to stay here, and make out with you.”
“Then why don’t you?” I asked, walking closer to him. “I know you want to.”
“I do.” He nodded.
“I know you want me,”
“I do,” He agreed again.
I got close enough to him, and placed a hand on his hip. My other hand ran up his side, and he shivered. My fingers dance across the back of his neck, before I placed it there.
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
Stryker smirked and nodded. I wanted to laugh, but instead I leaned down just a little bit to kiss him. His hands found my hips, and pulled me closer to him. I smirked, and bit down on his lip. I did the same thing to him last night, and it had caused him to moan. I got the same results as I did last night. He snaked his tongue into my mouth, and we battled each other for dominance.
“I really have to go now,” He mumbled as soon as we pulled away.
“Okay…” I finally agreed. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Okay,” He nodded. Stryker grabbed his pants, and put them on. I bit my lip as I watched him wiggle into his jeans. He scooped up his shirt, and slowly put it on. “You can stop eye raping me down.”
“I can’t help it. I’m a teenage boy. I have needs.” I stated.
“Assert your needs some other way, fucker.”
“I don’t want to use my fucking hand,” I nearly whined.
“Then call Dylan. I don’t fucking know what else to tell you,”
“Maybe I will call Dylan.” Stryker stopped and looked at me. “What?”
“You’re not going to call Dylan are you, Asher?”
I shrugged.
“I don’t know. How long are you going to take to figure out your feelings?” I asked.
He shook his head at me.
“I’ve got to go.” He said before he headed toward my door. “Do whatever the fuck you want too. You will anyway.”
I rolled my eyes and followed him out of the room.
“Don’t be a girl about this,” I complained.
“I’m not acting like a fucking girl.” He retorted as he walked down the stairs. He stopped at the door where I was standing.
“I won’t called Dylan, Stryk.”
Stryker turned to look at me.
“You better fucking not, Asher. If you do, you will regret it,” He threatened.
I smirked.
“You’re actually jealous of Dylan, aren’t you?”
“I’m not jealous of that short ass bitch.” Stryker snapped.
“You are jealous!” I laughed. “That’s why you were acting like a little bitch at the party last night!”
Stryker punched my arm.
“Shut up. You’re making me feel like a little girl.” He stated. When I was about to say something, he gave me a warning glance. “Get the fuck over here and hug me, dammit.”
I laughed at him before I wrapped my arms around him. The hug was awkward. It was like one of those half-romantic, half-brotherly hug type things. I don’t know what to call it. Seconds later Stryker pulled back and laughed.
“Let’s try the hug again, okay?” I asked. “That was weird,”
“Where do I put my arms?”
“Usually guys put their arms around my neck.” I shrugged.
“Okay…” He trailed off. Stryker slowly wrapped his arms around my neck. I wrapped mine around his waist, and brought us together in a tight hug. Slowly we started to pull away, and he slowly leaned in and kissed me. I smiled at the fact that he kissed me first. His finger tips grazed my chin before slowly pulling away. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Bye, man.” I shrugged, watching as he walked out of my house, and down the street toward his own.
I really hope he doesn’t make me wait too long.
♠ ♠ ♠
Third chapter! :)

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xoxo Rae