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Almost Lover

You Told Me You Would Never, Never Forget These Images

I thought about everything that went down last night, and this morning. My brain isn’t much clearer either, to be quite honest. I thought about all the stuff going on, and only really came up with a plausible excuse. I’m definitely gay. Asher was right. There is a reason why I haven’t stayed with any one girl long. I guess it just took me around eight more years to realize that I didn’t like girls. I just need to try to explain what’s going on in my head to my best friend without sounding like a grade a douche.
Asher makes me nervous. My best friend makes me feel all weird and tingly inside. My best friend that’s a dude makes me feel like a school girl. Every time that he smirks in my direction, it sends chills up and down my spine. I actually even blushed in front of him. In a normal world, that wouldn’t have happened. Then he straight up checked me out like it was the most natural thing in the fucking world for him to do. It scared the living shit out of me. My feelings scare the living shit out of me. I don’t understand what’s going on.
I don’t know why, or how, but I do have feelings for Asher. Just the way that we were together yesterday makes me sigh in content. All we did was hang out in our boxers, watch movies and play video games. It was a normal weekend of us, but it wasn’t at the same time. It meant something totally different when we were holding hands, or when I was sneaking glances at his toned torso. Asher might not be all that into sports, but he’s no toothpick either. He was…perfect. He was the perfect height for me too. He was just a tad bit taller, but not enough to count. We easily fit together. We would make a hot couple if you ask me. But the only problem I have is Dylan. Obviously Asher isn’t a virgin, and that little prick has too much attitude. I felt threatened by him before I even met the kid. I guess it’s just the fact that he’s been with Asher in the most intimate of ways when I’ve just now realized how I felt.
My hands slightly shook as I knocked on the Blake’s front door. It’s around ten in the morning, so I figured his mom would at least be awake. She’s always been an early riser, even if she does work all of the time.
“Good morning, Stryker,” She answered with a smile. “Asher’s upstairs. He’s still sleeping. Don’t be afraid to wake him up,”
I chuckled.
“I won’t,” I replied before I walked into the warm house. I sat my skateboard against the wall. I basically sprinted up the stairs to get to the blond-haired boy. I turned his door knob lightly, and poked my head in. I smiled widely when I saw that he was snoring and sound asleep. He was lying on his stomach, and snuggling into a pillow. As quietly as I could, I stripped down to my boxers. I made sure to move my clothes out of the way before I moved toward the bed. I’ve never been the smoothest mover, so when he didn’t wake up, I was happy. I let my left arm droop over his body, and I laid my head down on the pillow next to his. I was content. I was happy. It was still slightly odd for me. I don’t know how long it’s going to be for me to get used to just being with another guy. I know that it’s Asher, but that’s another reason why it’s odd. It’s Asher.
He rolled over in his sleep. His arm nearly took out my head, but I ducked before he did. Asher can be dangerous when he’s asleep. He mumbled something incoherent, and then tightened his arm around me. I placed my lips on his chest, and pulled away to look at his face. I don’t know what it is about him, but now I can’t stop wanting to kiss him or touch him. Not in a perverted way, I just wanted to have some type of physical contact. I placed my lips back to his chest again, and again until I saw him slowly started to smile. I knew that I had woken him up a while ago, and he was just playing along. I smiled as I watched him. I rested my chin on his chest while he slowly opened his eyes. A lazy smile spread across his face.
“Can you wake me up like that every morning?”
I shook my head and smiled at him.
“Fat chance,”
“What did I do for you to grace your presence this fucking early in the morning?” He asked me. His voice was horse. I smirked. That was the type of response I’ve been waiting for.
“I couldn’t go back to sleep,”
“So you decided to come over here at the crack of dawn and wake me up? Douche bag.”
“It’s like nine-thirty, Ash.”
“You’re fucking point?” He grumbled.
“How long have you really been awake?”
“I’ve been awake since you started to move around in my room. I figured that you’d eventually settle down so that I could go back to sleep. Then you have to wake me up,”
I rolled my eyes, and lifted my head so that I could kiss his lips.
“I just wanted to see you,”
“That’s nice. Now move. I’ve gotta piss.”
“How charming,” I stated sarcastically as I removed the top half of my body from his so that he could go to the bathroom. “I figured that we could go to the skate park today?”
“Yeah, I haven’t been boarding in a while.” He called from the open bathroom door.
“Good, I’m taking you. Get dressed, bitch.” I called back. I got up from his bed, and put back on my clothes. I figured that I wouldn’t need them again for a while, but Asher decided to get up like a normal person. When I finished putting on my jeans, he came back out of the bathroom. He went right to his dressers, and grabbed some skinny jeans, white v-neck, and some converse. He started getting ready, and I felt awkward just standing there. I scratched the back of my neck, and looked away.
“Now you’re embarrassed?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I shrugged.
“I just…yeah…”
“That so makes sense.” He rolled his eyes.
“You’re a dick.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” Asher replied as he started tying his shoes. “So you thought it over?”
I nodded my head and sat down beside him on the bed.
“I guess I’m gay.”
“Nice, you guess?” He chuckled. “Are you or aren’t you?”
“Well…for argument’s sake, let’s call me bisexual,”
“Okay…” He trailed off.
I could tell that’s not exactly the answer that he wanted, but that’s the only one I wanted to admit out loud.
“Are you ready?”
“Yeah, let me get my board,”
I nodded and stood up from his bed. I walked out of his room, and downstairs to the kitchen. His mom was cooking up some food for everyone.
“What are you making?”
“I’m making some pancakes. There are already some on the table if you want some.”
“You know the way to my heart, Regina.”
She winked.
“I can read minds.”
I laughed, and sat down at the table to eat. It wasn’t a minute later that Asher came down the stairs in the clothes he picked out plus a gray beanie and his skateboard. I checked out his ass when he walked in front of me. I could basically see the gears working in his head. He did that on purpose. I enjoyed the view so I guess that’s okay.
“What’s up, mom?”
“I made pancakes. Stryker’s already at the table eating.”
Asher turned around, and saw me.
I smirked and waved at him.
“Oh, okay.” He nodded before sitting opposite of me. He took some pancakes, and put them on his own plate.
“Are you boys planning on going to the skate park today?”
“Yupp,” I replied between bites.
“You better be careful. I don’t want anymore broken bones, okay? That goes ten times for you, Asher.”
“Yes, mother.”
I snickered at them, and finished eating.
“Thanks for the pancakes. They were amazing.”
Regina smiled.
“Thank you, Stryker. They weren’t as good as Asher’s are, but they’ll do.”
“They’re good, no doubt about it,” I replied. Asher didn’t take but another minute before we got up to leave. He gave his mom a kiss on the cheek, and we got out of the house as soon as possible. I sat my board down, and rode on it slowly with Asher by my side. “We haven’t done this in forever.”
“It’s about damn time,” He stated. “I feel like the older we get, the more we neglect the skate park,”
I laughed.
“I know. We used to spend all day there. It used to be my life.”
“Then we grew up,” He sighed. “Am I the only one that’s a little iffy about my future?”
“Nah, man…we’re in the same boat,” I stated.
“As long as we’re in the same boat,” He rolled his eyes.
“We are,” I chuckled at him. “Something tells me that we’re not actually talking about after school plans here…” I trailed off, stopping my board.
Asher sighed, and stopped his board to.
“We aren’t…I guess.” He smiled at me. He lifted his left hand toward me. I looked at it for a second before looking around me. Not many people were up. Sure, it’s only nine in the morning, but I’m exactly comfortable with being with him so out in the open. I smiled at him before handing over my hand. I laced my fingers through his, and we started walking with our boards in our empty hands. “Are we together, Stryker?”
“I don’t know, Asher.” I huffed. “I think I want us to be, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
“I get it.” He stated, shrugging a little bit. “I was that way too.”
“I just…I kind of accept who I am, but not all of the way. You know what I mean?”
“No, frankly I don’t.” He replied. Asher’s a subborn ass, but I can be too. I understand that it pisses him off that I can’t be one hundred percent sure right now. I just need time. “I’ll wait though, but not too long.”
“I don’t think that you’ll have too.”
“Yeah, you say that now,” He sighed, looking over in the direction of the trees, and the sun. “I just don’t want you to chicken out.”
“What are we talking about here? A stupid dare or my sexuality? Cause I’m pretty sure we’re talking about my sexuality.”
“We are talking about your sexuality, Stryker. Is it so bad that I want you to be okay with being with me?”
“I don’t know when I’ll be okay with telling people, but I’m okay with it now.”
“I know, but I can’t fully be with you if you aren’t ready to fully be with me. If we’re going to be together, it will be public.”
“I figured that much,” I admitted.
“We don’t have to announce it or anything, but I want us to be able to walk down the hall together. I want to be able to kiss you whenever the fuck I feel like it without you checking to see if the coast is clear. To be with me, you’re going to have to come out of the closet, Stryk.”
“Like I said, I just need time,” I repeated.
Asher nodded, and pulled me toward the skate park.

“The guys wanna meet up with us, Asher.” I stated, staring down at my phone.
“Then tell them where we are,” Asher shrugged, taking a drink of his water bottle. We were currently taking a break from skating for a few minutes. It’s around one, and we’ve been here since it opened this morning.
“I kind of thought that you wanted to be alone,” I stated, looking up at him. “It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m down with whatever.”
“Well tell them to come hang,” He shrugged.
“Okay,” I agreed, typing away on my phone. I slid my phone back on the table where Asher’s phone was. “I think I’ve had enough of your ass anyway,”
He rolled his eyes.
“Whatever, Stryker,” He laughed. “You wouldn’t have come over if you didn’t want to spend the day with me,”
“Eh…whatever,” I smirked. “Now go get me something to drink.”
“What do I look like, your maid?” Asher asked me.
“You aren’t being a very good date.” I stated.
“This…is definitely not a date. If it was, we wouldn’t be a fucking skate park.”
“Hm…so if it was a date, where would you take me?”
“Who says I’m going to date you?” He playfully winked at me. “Plus, it would be a secret.”
“You suck.” I shook my head.
“I do actually. I’m rather good at it.” Asher smirked.
“Do…too much information.”
Asher stood up, and stretched his arms above his head.
“I’m ready to skate again, are you?”
“Yeah, but I kind of thought we were waiting for everyone else before we started skating…”
“You can.” He shrugged before he walked over to the half pipe.
I rolled my eyes at him. Asher really liked doing his own thing. That’s the way that he was always been. I can’t really blame him, I’m the same way. I want to wait for the guys to get here so that’s what I’m doing. I’m not going to be some little bitch and follow Asher around, and he knows that. He started skating around with some other guys that were regulars here. We used to come here all of the time, and part of me wishes that we still do. Maybe I need to make that a new hobby of mine? Skating used to be a passion. I love skating, and I love skating wish Asher. The boy’s a talented skater.
How in the hell did I not notice my attraction to him earlier? You would think that being around someone your whole life that you would realize something like that. I never noticed how great he looked in a beanie, or just how tight his pants are. I never noticed the way his green eyes contrasted with the blonde hair. I never noticed that his nose ring looked really hot on him. I feel like I should have, especially now. I should have seen all of those things about Asher that I just couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off of now.
“Dude, what are you staring at?”
I shook my head and looked up and a smirking Chad. I laughed at him, and stood up.
“Nothing, just waiting for your slow asses to get here,”
“Blame the girls, they take forever,” Seth rolled his eyes. “They’re coming.”
I turned my head and I looked to the direction that they were pointing. I had to slightly squint because of the sun, but my smile fell when I saw what girls they brought with them. I was okay with Izzy, and even Taylor, but I definitely didn’t want the third girl here. I didn’t count on was Kaylie being there. The girl was one of ‘my’ girls. She was one of those girls that I liked to casually make out with. If I ever needed a quick hook-up, she would be the girl that I would call.
“Oh, well…yeah,” I nodded, and looked back at them. “What in the fuck is Kaylie here?”
Seth chuckled.
“She’s best friends with Taylor, Stryker. Do you really think that Taylor would come to a skate park without her?”
“I honestly didn’t think that they would come to a skate park at all…” I trailed off.
“You know that Izzy will, but that’s because she’s so far up Asher’s ass.” Chad rolled his eyes.
I only nodded my head, feeling a little uncomfortable with the fact that everyone knew Izzy had a crush on Asher. Hell, even Asher knew that she had a crush on him at one point. I just don’t think that he realizes that she’s not over him fully.
“Why in the hell do you guys come here?” Taylor laughed. “Do you really spend all day skating?”
“A lot of the time, yeah,” I nodded my head. “We used to come here a whole lot more when we were younger.”
“You skate?” Kaylie asked.
I nodded my head.
“You should teach me sometime,” She replied with a flirtatious smiled.
“Stryker doesn’t teach anyone to skate. Not even me,” He said. I turned around toward Asher, who had just spoken the sentence. I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes. “He likes to be fucking selfish, and keep the tricks to himself.”
I shrugged.
“That’s how I do,”
“Whatever man,” Seth laughed.
“I have skills, and you’re fucking jealous.” I shrugged, slinging my arm around Asher’s shoulders like I normally would. “Ask Ash.”
“Your ego is the size of a fucking football field.” Asher retorted, rolling his eyes.
“Baby, please, that one hurt!” I feigned pain in my chest.
“I’m sure that you’ll live.” He stated before wrapping his arm around me like we normally would.
“Maybe…” I sighed. “Ready to skate?”
“Fuck yes.” Chad stated. “I didn’t come here to watch these two fuckers.”
“Thanks, man. Really.” Asher rolled his eyes.
“Come on then!” Seth begged before he grabbed his board.
“What are you guys doing here?” Asher asked the girls.
“That’s no way to greet your best friend.” Izzy stated, rolling her eyes.
“Hey, Iz…now seriously…”
“Well we wanted to hang out,” Izzy stated with a smile.
The girl was a knock-out. If it wasn’t for Asher, I probably would’ve went after her a long time ago.
“I wanted to see Chad, and Kaylie wanted to see Stryker so…”
Kaylie smiled at me with that smile again. I felt really uncomfortable with having both Asher and Kaylie standing there. Sure, no one knew about what Asher and I had been through this past weekend, but that doesn’t mean flirting with her was right.
“That’s stupid.” He shrugged, letting go of me, and stepping out of my grip. “No offense or anything. I’m going to skate. Are you coming Stryker?”
“Um…hang on. I’ve got to talk to Kaylie,” I stated. Asher gave me this look that I couldn’t exactly read before he shrugged and started back toward skating. How could he be so casual is beyond me. I don’t know how I’m even fucking dealing right now. It’s awkward for me. I feel fucking awkward. I just needed to get things straightened out first.
“Okay,” She giggle. I nodded toward a part of the park where no one was standing, and I walked over there. She followed behind me, and grabbed my hand. “What’s this about, Stryker?”
I took a breath, and looked down at the short, brunette girl.
“I…you know that we’re not really…dating, right?”
“Of course I know that,” She rolled her eyes. “What if I just wanted to hook up?”
I gave her a look.
“You’re never one to suggest hooking up. I know you, Kaylie.”
“Okay, so what if I want to date you? What’s so wrong with that?”
I looked around the skate park awkwardly.
“You’re a really pretty girl, you know that right?”
“I mean…I suppose that I do.” She smiled at me. “Thanks,”
“You’re welcome. I don’t know how long we can really keep this up.”
“What do you mean by that? Are you ending it?”
I stared at her for a minute. I really didn’t know what I was doing. If I ended it, I hurt her. If I didn’t, I would probably hurt Asher. More than likely, Asher would understand though. He’s my best friend. He knows that I’m not exactly ready to move on with our fucked up relationship. Kaylie’s a good girl, and Asher’s my best friend.
“I have no fucking idea.” I confessed. “I don’t really know what I’m doing,”
Kaylie smiled, and squeezed my hand that was still linked with her hand.
“Let me know when you figure it out, okay? I’ll always be here for you, Stryker. I really don’t want this thing that we have with each other to end.”
“I don’t…I don’t think I’m ready for it to end.” I tried to place my words the right way. “I don’t think I’m ready to let it go.”
“Then don’t end it,” She giggled. I smiled and wrapped my arms around the girl. She lifted her head and pressed her lips to mine gently. “Just don’t take forever, okay?”
I nodded. I really was hating people telling me not to take forever. I didn’t answer her, and I started back toward Taylor and Izzy.
“Hey, Asher wanted me to let you know that he went to see Dylan.” Izzy stated
I furrowed my brows.
“What the fuck?!”
“Dude…chill. He’s not replacing you or anything,” She shook her head. “He’s just a friend of Asher’s.”
“We were going to hang out today,” I replied. “Did he really just ditch me?”
“I’m afraid so.” Taylor laughed. “Dylan sucks his dick, so I guess he’s a little more important than you,”
I shook my head.
“I fucking hate him.” I stated. “Why in the hell couldn’t he just tell me himself?! He fucking knows that I don’t like that sketchy son of a bitch.”
“Chill, he doesn’t like Kaylie either, but you still waste your time with her.” Izzy shrugged.
“Hey!” Kaylie retorted.
“Sorry, Kaylie, but it’s true. Asher just does not like you,”
“Do you know why?” She pouted.
“No,” Taylor and Izzy replied at the same time.
I groaned, and looked up at the sky.
“I do.” I answered. Asher’s a stupid fucker, but I guess I really can’t blame him. “I’m going to skate.”
“Okay…” Taylor trailed off, looking at me with a funny expression.
You’re a fucking douche bag.
I shook my head at the text message.
that makes two of us prick. I’ll never forget today. Fucking remember that when your fucking Dylan.

Asher pisses me off. Why does he have to act like a guy? You’d think that he’d walk up to Kaylie and rip her fucking head off like a girl or some shit like that. But no…he had to get fucking even. I swear. It pisses me off that he has to do that. It’s not like were dating or anything. It’s not a big deal that I kissed Kaylie, is it? Is it a big deal that I was holding her hand or leading her on? I honestly don’t think that it’s wrong in so many words.

I fucking won’t. Damn you Stryker. I’m not going to fuck with Dylan. Unlike you I have enough respect for others to break things off.

whatever man

Fuck you. I’ll see you later. Call me when you get home or something.

I groaned and put my phone back in my pocket.
“What’s up, buttercup?” Izzy asked, sitting down.
“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head.
“Do you have a lot on your mind?”
“You have no fucking idea.” I mumbled.
This weekend has been confusing as fuck.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ohhhh shitttt.

What's gonna happen :} I wanna hear what you guys think?
I do like writing Stryker's confusing thoughts, but Asher's my baby!
Sorry, but I loves my Asher more guys....

xoxo Rae