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Almost Lover

I'm Trying Not To Think About You

I forgave Stryker, well not completely, but I still forgave him. I couldn’t help it. It’s just one of those situations where you can’t stay mad at a person because you care for them way too much. Stryker’s just one of those people for me. Sure, I can be a big pushover, but with Stryker and our relationship, pride got in the way. I couldn’t let him pull me around like a rag doll because he’s that important to me. I can’t let him push me around. I’ve got to be the stronger one of the two of us. It’s always been me that’s the more responsible one. I can’t stop now.
Stryker is confusing. I can’t stop my mind from freaking out every single fucking time I see him. Ever since we’ve became this weird whatever, I’ve seen him differently. I know he feels the same about me, because it’s quite obvious. I’ve never been the best at reading him, but I can tell that much. I can tell enough that it freaks him the fuck out. It’s almost cute that he’s putting so much thought into us. It makes me feel better that he cares. Stryker usually doesn’t show his emotions out openly like I do. He’s…I don’t know. My mind goes a little off topic when I think about him. It’s weird, but I just can’t seem to help it. I love nearly everything about him.
I honestly think that I have it bad. Correction, I know that I have it bad. I can’t remember the last time that I thought about something this much. Even if he is my best friend, he’s my favorite person to try to figure out. I want to know what he’s thinking, so I always play stupid games in my mind when I’m guessing what he’s thinking. Weird, I know, but that’s what I do. After talk to him at the mall earlier, I felt a little better, even if nothing really was fixed at all.
“You’re completely zoning again, Ash.” Stryker sighed, looking at me just a few feet away on my bed. “What are you thinking about?”
I smirked, and looked over at him.
“Awe, how cute,” He rolled his eyes, but a small smile and blush were present on his face. “What about me,”
I rolled over on my side and stared at him.
“How I can never stay mad at you or how I can never figure out what you’re thinking,”
Stryker laughed, and turned toward me.
“I think about that a lot too. I can’t even be mad at you because you’re Asher, duh, and I can usually read your mind. I just can’t today,” He stated. “I do have a question for you, though.”
I linked our fingers together, and started to mess around with his hand.
“Can we be together? Ya know, exclusive for a few weeks secretly so that I can gain the courage to tell people,”
“I…yeah,” I agreed before some stupid remark came out of my big mouth.
“Yeah?” Stryker smiled wider.
“Yes,” I laughed back. “As long as you’ll have me…”
“That’s kind of why I asked you,” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how else to as you without sounding like a girl. This just seemed easier?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Stryk, be mine would’ve worked just fine,”
Stryker laughed, and leaned his head against mine.
“Fine. Asher Blake, will you be mine?” He mocked playfully.
“Sure, douche bag.” I replied before pressing a short kiss to his lips. “I like you too, if that’s what you’re trying to say,”
“It is,” He chuckled. “I’m staying the night by the way,”
“I figured that out,” I rolled over, and sat up in my bed. I stretched my arms above my head, and stood up. “I really want some food. What do you want?”
“How about we go get some pizza?” Stryker asked me. “I could go for some cheese pizza right about now,”
“No way! You’re not afraid to be seen with me?!” I asked sarcastically.
Stryker rolled his eyes at me.
“No, I want to go out with you. Come on, Asher. Let me take you out,” He winked.
“It’s like a first date?”
“I guess,” Stryker laughed. “We can take turns on our dates, deal?”
I smirked, and nodded.
“Let me get dressed again,” I replied. I grabbed my skinny jeans that I wore today, and I slipped them back on. My red v-neck was still on my body, so I only had my Nike’s to put back on. Stryker was putting back on his clothes to when I finished slipping on my hoodie.
“Did I mention how fucking fantastic you look today?” He winked.
“Nope, but thanks for the compliment.” I replied as I picked up my wallet to put in my skinny jeans.
“I like your hair when it’s curly too.” He smiled. “Will you wear it more like that?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Fat chance on that one. I love my hair too much to do that to it,”
Stryker shrugged, and reached for my hand. I linked our hands together as we made our way out of my room. I made my way down first just in case my mom was anywhere to be seen, or if my dad is already home. When the cost was clear, I ushered Stryker and myself toward the front door.
“We’re going out for pizza!” Stryker called behind him right before we ran out of my house. I got to the car as fast as I could. I didn’t want my mom to come running and making us stay in. Stryker wanted to go out for pizza and it was technically our first date. I wanted it to be a good one, even if it was spontaneous. I liked that Stryker randomly wanted to go out. “Can we go to Papa John’s?” He asked.
I nodded my head, and linked our hands together in the middle of my car again.
“Sure, besides, you’re the one taking me on the date, stupid.”
“That’s right,” He laughed. “Hey, can I play this Go Radio cd?”
I nodded, and turned down the street.
“Yeah, go for it,” I replied.
Stryker hummed along lightly to the song while taping his hands against his right thigh. He was too cute. I don’t think he realizes how adorable I really do find him. Is that awkward? To find someone who’s on the manly side extremely adorable? Oh well, I find Stryker adorable. I just do. I thought about him all the way to Papa John’s. When we got out of the car, we walked as close together as we possibly could without physically touching. I laughed, and shook my head at the situation. It was weird not to hold his hand, but I can get over it. It’s Stryker.
“Hey, we want a large cheese pizza with some garlic butter and cheesy bread stick things,” Stryker stated before the girl behind the counter could greet us. “And two medium drinks,”
I chuckled as she caught up with our order.
“Forgive him, he’s hungry. Aren’t you little guy?” I joked. Stryker elbowed me in my stomach, and I coughed a little bit. “Ow,” I groaned. The girl just laughed and told Stryker the total. He gladly paid, and turned toward me.
“Go get us a table, yeah?” He asked.
I nodded and walked over to a booth slightly further away than the others. I stared toward the area that Stryker was. The girl handed him two cups with a wide smile. I chewed on my bottom lip. I know for a fact that Stryker’s boy brain would think that she’s super cute. I know that he likes me, obviously we wouldn’t be dating otherwise. It’s just weird to see how he reacts from this point of view. I feel slightly like a girl. I shook the thought from my head, and saw Stryker heading my way. He sat two cups down on the table.
“What did you get?” I asked.
“I got myself a Mountain Dew, and you a Dr. Pepper.”
I laughed.
“You know me so well,”
“Of course I do,” He chuckled. “Want me to sit down with you while we wait?”
“That would be nice,” I smiled. “I’m starving,”
“Me too!” He nearly yelled. He sat down across from me. “Are you having fun yet?”
I nodded my head.
“Of course I am. This is a casual date. I like those.”
Stryker smirked and winked at me.
“I do to. But you should know that I don’t kiss on the first date,” He stated with the most serious look on his face.
“What the fuck ever. You’ve had one night stands with strangers.” I stated. “I better get a damn kiss.”
“Maybe if you beg…” He trailed off. The lady behind the counter called out an order, and he jumped up. “That’s our pizza.” Stryker stood up, and walked over to the counter. I couldn’t help but notice that the girl got a little bit shyer this time around. She was talking to Stryker, and he was smiling that gorgeous smile. I used to find it amusing when he used that smile, but not it made me feel slightly uneasy. Then he pointed toward me. Both of them turned toward me. The girl looked embarrassed as Stryker waved. I furrowed my brows, but I waved back to my brand new boyfriend. Stryker scooped up the pizza’s and made his way back over to me. He sat them down on the table, and slid in across from me.
“What was that about?”
“What?” He asked me.
“Why did you wave to me?” I asked him as I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Because I just got done explaining to that girl that I was currently dating someone…” He trailed off. “Then I just sort of pointed toward you,”
I smiled widely.
“Awe, you admitted it someone! That’s the first step, Stryk.”
He groaned and shook his head.
“I know, but it’s a stranger! That’s different,” He replied. “But it’s a step at least…right?”
“Right. Now let’s eat! Asher needs food,” I replied. “Give me some garlic butter and some of those cheesy things?”
“Yeah, here,” Stryker laughed, and handed me some. I took a huge bite, and nearly moaned at the taste.
“Asher loves this fucking food.”
“Asher needs to stop being cute,”
I stopped mid-stuffing my face.
“I said that you need to stop being so cute,” He repeated, smiling at me. “It’s really cute when you talk in third person. I don’t know why, but it is.”
I finished chewing my food, and took a gulp of Dr. Pepper.
“You think I’m cute?”
“Didn’t I just say that I did, twice?” He asked me.
“Well…yeah…but cute? You really think that I’m cute?” I was baffled.
“Dammit, Asher, yes. I find you cute. Why is that so hard to grasp?”
“Well, I mean, I know that I find you completely adorable, but I didn’t think that you think I’m cute. Did that make sense? I don’t know, but really? I know that you’re attracted to me, cause we’re a couple, and all…but still. It’s weird hearing you say it,”
Stryker shook his head.
“Stop rambling.” He instructed. “Yes, I find you really cute. So cute in fact that you always remind me of a little kid. Well, until you start cussing like a sailor. Then you remind me of my grandpa.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks for comparing me to your grandpa, babe.”
Stryker winked at me.
“Anytime,” He replied.
“So I’m cute?”
“So I’m adorable?” He countered. “You’re the cutest thing in the entire world.”
“And you are downright adorable.” I smiled, and reached for his hand across the table. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t retract like I half expected. His hand slid comfortably in my own. I squeezed his hand. “I kind of feel like a girl.”
He laughed at me.
“You were always the best at ruining moments,” He commented. “Is it really that odd to call you cute?”
I shrugged.
“No guy has really ever called me cute before. Maybe adorable or handsome, but I don’t I’ve ever been called cute to my face.” I admitted.
“Girls call you cute all of the time,” He shrugged. “They constantly come up to me and ask if you’re available. Then I have to break their hearts by telling them that you bat for the other team,”
“How come you’ve never told me that?” I asked him.
“I dunno. Never really came up,” He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s not so bad, right?”
“I just…it’s weird. I’m not…cute.”
“You’re cute.” Stryker shrugged. “At least in my opinion,”
I smiled, and squeezed his hand again.
“That’s the only one I actually care about.” I replied. I let go of his hand. “Enough of the lovely stuff….I want food.”
Stryker shook his head at me.
After we ate, we got some to-go boxes to bring back to my parents tonight. Oddly enough, we walked out of the Papa John’s hand in hand. That’s a big step for Stryker. I was slightly amazed that he had told a stranger and was so willing to hold my hand in public. Then again, not many of our friends go here. They prefer Pizza Hut. I don’t understand why but they do. I know that it’s not some huge step in our relationship or anything, but it is a small step in the right direction. That’s good enough for me.
“We’re back!” Stryker yelled the second that we got into the house. I did had a tight grip on his hand, and I heard my mom’s light foot steps coming our way. I quickly let go, and I met her half way with a hug.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Asher Daniel Blake, how dare you go out to eat and not invite me!”
“Mom, I brought you back pizza,” I stated, nodding toward Stryker. “He’s got it.”
“Stryker Sutton, you are my new favorite child,”
“Mom!” I laughed. “That’s so weird.”
“Sorry, Asher. I’m lovable,” He shrugged. “Is it cool if I crash here?”
“Of course it is. You brought me food,” My mom replied, walking into the kitchen with the pizza’s, leaving us behind.
“Have I mentioned how much I love your mom?”
I shook my head.
“Yeah, a couple of hundred times…” I trailed off. “You wanna go up to my room?”
“Yeah…do you wanna jam?”
“Sure. I think the other guitar needs a little tuning, but it’s otherwise good.” I replied. We started running up the stairs. I got to my room first, and I grabbed my guitar from the stand while Stryker closed the door.
“Can I lock it?”
“Nah, my mom wouldn’t like that very much.” I laughed. “The guitar is over there.”
“There’s my Lilah!” He stated sarcastically. “I love playing this guitar.”
“I know, but I love Maria more.” I smirked.
“What do you want to play?” He asked, tuning the guitar already.
“Let’s just…I dunno…play?” I suggested.
Stryker and I played a little bit of covers before we got bored and started to play some video games. I loved spending time with Stryker today. Even though we went shopping with Taylor and Kaylie, it was still fun. We’ve mostly fixed our problems, but it’s not all rainbows. We’ve got a long fucking way to go before we can be good again. I trust him, even through his track record, and my own. We’ve known each other longer than either of our relationships have lasted.
“I’m surprisingly sleepy,” Stryker yawned as he crawled into my bed with me. He turned off the light for me.
“I am too,” I admitted. “Today was amazing, Stryk,”
“You really mean that? I didn’t fuck up our date?”
“Nah, it was pretty perfect. I love that you took me to a pizza place, and I love that it was so down to earth. I like dating you. It’s like I’m finally spending my time with someone who actually deserves it.”
Stryker chuckled.
“You care about me just like I care about you,” He stated. I turned to face him, and he did the same to me. “I’ve never been so attached to someone before. You know first hand how clingy I can get. You’ve always been there for me. It’s crazy that I didn’t realize how much youreally mean to me.”
“You mean the world to me,” I admitted. “Did you know that?”
Stryker shook his head.
“I mean I knew that I meant a lot…but the world?” He said sarcastically. “That’s really sweet, Asher. I like seeing this cute side of you. It really doesn’t happen that often,”
“I know,” I sighed. “I like that side of you too.”
“Can we name all of the things that we like about each other later? I’m about to pass the fuck out.” He sighed. Stryker leaned over and gave me a long kiss before pulling away. I smirked at him.
“I thought that you said that you don’t kiss on the first date.”
“One, the date ended a while ago, and we’re about to go to bed. Two, you’re obviously the exception to every one of my rules.”
I smiled and kissed him again before rolling over.
“Go to bed, Stryker.”
“Okay,” He yawned.
I smiled. Today was weird, but nearly perfect.
♠ ♠ ♠
Aweeeee cute stuff. Asher and Stryker are inspired by my friends Colton and Ryker. Haha

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xoxo Rae