Love is a Luxury

“Jimmie, I don’t know if I can do this,” I exhaled shakily and looked at my brother with scared eyes.

“Olivia, come on. You’ve preformed in front of the whole damn school, but you mean to tell me you’re scared to play in front of a few more people than there were at the talent show?” I nodded, biting my lip.

“Don’t be a chicken,” Caleb, my best friend, wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“Okay, maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but it’s still nerve racking knowing we’re going on tour with some of my favorite bands. What if I met them and like, passed out in front of them because I was so nervous?”

“You’ve met The Maine before when you and Lexis saw them in concert and got backstage passes,” Caleb replied, making me think of the bittersweet memory.

“Yeah, but I was banned from that venue after she decided to try to make out with John while I took a picture with the rest of the band.” It was true, I had gotten a picture, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek from John, and while Lexi was getting her picture, she leaped on him, knocking him to the ground, and tried to kiss him. I wasn’t part of the crime, but since I was with her, both of us were to no longer attend any concerts or events there.

“Big deal, it’s not like they’re going to remember you. They see probably hundreds of fans faces every night. No offense, but I don’t think yours will stand out after a year,” Serena stated, putting her last bag of luggage into her car.

I shrugged, knowing she was right, and waited for Caleb’s friend, Craig, to arrive so he could drive us to our tour bus. Usually, bands live in vans for the first part of their success, but we had lucked out with the help of Serena’s (rich) parents, and scrapped up enough money for an actually bus.

A horn honked in the driveway, making our heads turn in that direction.

I threw my duffle bags in the trunk of the Ford, and plopped down beside Jimmie in the back.

Once everything was said and done, Craig had dropped us off at the lot where our bus was parked, and taken Serena’s car back to her house.

“Since you’re best with directions, you’re driving first. I’m gonna put you on the phone with Alex, and he’s gonna tell you where to go, okay?” Jimmie stated, putting his phone on speaker and setting it on my leg as I sat down in the driver’s seat.

“Hello?”

“Um, hi. This is the drummer from Never Growing Up, I guess you know my brother Jimmie, and he said you’re giving me directions or something like that,” I cranked the bus up and turned on the AC.

“Oh, hey. It’s Olivia right?” I replied with a yeah and waited for him to give directions. “Okay, so I guess just wait there until we all get there, and then we’ll meet everyone and get something to eat and whatnot.” We said our goodbyes and I started to sing to the Panic! at the Disco CD I had in the stereo.

After about two hours of driving, I pulled into the IHOP parking lot behind the building where there were three other buses parked there.

I shouted towards the back lounge that we were here, and got out of the vehicle to be greeted by All Time Low, The Maine, and Paramore. After our introductions and travel stories on how it was such a pain to get past traffic, we finally went inside to get some food.

As soon as we stepped inside, a heat wave hit us. “Do you guys just wanna get it to go and eat in the bus where it’s air conditioned?” Rian asked, leading us to all nod in agreement.

After the orders had been placed and received, we walked out to All Time Low’s bus where we all crowded in to eat. My last bite of pancakes was rudely interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone.

“Jimmie, it’s mom, you talk to her,” I held the phone out to him.

He laughed loudly. “Hell no, you talk to her.” I rolled my eyes and stepped outside. She asked the questions I knew were coming. How’s tour? Is everything going good? Is everyone nice? You’re not doing any drugs, are you?

I finally hung up the phone and went to go walk back inside. I placed my hand on the handle and surprised when it opened so easily. I was even more surprised when the door came out further than expected, hitting me, and knocking me to the ground.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” I looked up to see the eyes of Mr. John O’Callaghan.

“It was my fault, no worries,” I smiled and picked myself up off the ground.

“Are you all right? Your hand’s bleeding, come on, we’ve got some first aid stuff in our bus,” he started leading me by my good hand.

I was about to tell him I was fine, until I had actual felt the pain of the fall set in. We walked to his bus and he pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol, some gauze, and some tape.

I yelped in pain as he poured the alcohol onto my wound. He was about to pour another round on it to make sure it was clean when I stopped him. “You’re done. It’s clean.” He laughed at my comment, and continued to bandage up my hand.

“Have we met before? You look really familiar,” he asked as we walked back to the parking lot.

“I don’t think so, but maybe.” I decided not to tell him about that night where we got kicked out of the building.

“Are you sure?” I nodded. “Where are you from?”

“Gainesville, Florida.”

“Have you ever seen us in concert around there?”

“I think I might have. My friends and I go to so many concerts so I don’t know if I’ve seen y’all or not,” I lied, hoping he’d buy it.

“I think you have. I kissed your cheek, and your friend tackled me.” I winced at the memory.

I laughed. “I guess I have seen you before then.”

“Livy, are you ready to go?” Jimmie asked me as he passed John and me.

“I’m not driving, so don’t even ask, but yes, I am ready to go,” I replied. I heard him cuss under his breath before walking back to the bus. “I guess I’ll talk to you later or something, bye John,” I waved to him before following my brother’s path to the bus.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you!” I heard Caleb’s little sister, Brooklyn, squeal when I stepped inside. “I can’t believe I’m on tour with some of the hottest guys ever!” Yes, she managed to get Caleb, Jimmie, and Serena to agree to bring her along, which I still could murder them for.

Brooklyn and I cannot get along to save our lives. She’s preppy, hyper, a brat, and can’t seem to close her legs. I, on the other hand, keep to myself and am pretty much calm most of the time, and have only had sex with two people.

“Technically, you’re only tagging along. Never Growing Up’s on tour, not you,” I snapped before going to the back lounge.

“I know you don’t like her, but could you please try and be nicer? Keep in mind you have to put up with her all tour,” Caleb stated, sitting down beside me on the couch.

“I don’t give a shit how long I have to put up with her. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to punch her,” I sighed and laid my head in his lap.

“Y’all used to be best friends in middle school, what happened to that?”

“She stole my boyfriend and fucked him.”

“So you stole her brother and fucked him?” He smirked and kissed my forehead.

I laughed. “That didn’t happen until the beginning on senior year, not eighth grade, and yeah, that was totally the reason,” I said sarcastically.

“I knew it,” Caleb said, disappointedly. I laughed at him as he was about to exit. “Hey, you might wanna get a lot of sleep tonight; we have our first show tomorrow.” I nodded and stayed in the lounge a bit longer before listening to Caleb’s advice and crawling into my bunk.

I was roused the next morning by something tickling my face. Never being the morning person I am, I drew back my fist, and extended it rapidly before feeling contact and hearing a grunt of pain.

When I had a realization of what was going on, I opened my eyes to find Alex of All Time Low crumpled on the floor, whining. “Oh my God, Alex I am so sorry,” I got up and helped pull him up.

“We can tell who was raised around boys when she was growing up. You’ve got an arm on you,” Alex stated, running him hand under his nose to reveal blood.

“I feel so bad, hold on, I’ll get you an ice pack,” I rushed to the freezer.

“Knock, knock,” John said, walking through the door.

“Hey John,” I smiled, and walked back to bunk area where I put the cold package on Alex’s face.

“Do I wanna know?” John asked.

“She almost knocked my ass out dude, whatever you do, don’t piss her off,” Alex joked.

“Would you guys shut the fuck up?!” Brooklyn shouted.

“Would you get that stick out of your ass?” I retorted, receiving high fives from the boys.

“Listen here—” she stopped mid-sentence when she threw open her bunk curtain and realized John and Alex were standing there. “Oh, hey guys,” she smiled and went to fixing her hair.

I rolled my eyes before pulling a pair of hole-in-the-knees skinny jeans, and a white long sleeved shirt with a black tank-top, out of the make-shift closet we had, and went to change.

I put on the clothes and started to yank a brush through my snarled hair, then applied my make-up. I brushed my teeth quickly before walking out of the small bathroom into the front lounge.

Brooklyn was sitting extremely close to John, who had a look of annoyance on his face. I snickered under my breath, and sat on the other side of him. “Hey Livy,” he smiled. I returned the gesture and looked at my phone to check the time which read a little after eleven AM.

I sighed and got up before rifling through the drawers in the kitchen for my medicine. “All right, where’s my meds?” I shouted when I couldn’t find them.

“Oh, the ones that you had sitting in the drawer?” Brooklyn asked. I nodded, waiting for her to tell me something. “I didn’t think they were important, so I threw them away, you know, for more space.”

“You did WHAT?!” I screamed and lunged at her, but was stopped by John and Jimmie. “You little bitch, you know I fucking need those,” I snarled and tried to break their grasp. “What part of orange bottle with pills in it doesn’t seem important?!”

“Maybe if you weren’t such an attention whore, you wouldn’t need to take pills you don’t need,” she smiled over her shoulder and went to the back longue. I fought the boys’ grip until John was dragging me out the door.

“I’ll call the doctor and see if you can get some more, don’t worry Livy, we’ll get it figured it out,” Jimmie said before John shut the door and let me go. He stood in front of the entrance so that I couldn’t get back inside to hit Brooklyn which I suppose was a good thing, but it only pissing me off more.

“Calm down,” John said as I paced back and forth. I resisted the urge to strike the bus.

“Why should I? Why shouldn’t I go in there right now and beat her ass?” His green eyes were fixated on me, making me stop in my tracks.

“Because, I’m sure it was just an accident, and even if it wasn’t, Jimmie’s on the phone right now getting you some more.”

“She knows I need them. I’ve needed them since eleventh grade, it wasn’t an accident.”

“Are they to help keep you alive?”

“No, they’re anti-depressants and for my ADD.”

“And you look fine. No depression and no zoning off. Come on,” he grabbed my wrist.

“I wanna go back to my bus,” I whined.

“Sorry Sweetheart, Jimmie said no. We boys are a lot more fun than what you think, and you can find out if you come. It’ll be pretty sweet.”

“All right, fine,” I sighed in defeat and followed the green eyed boy. I walked into the tour bus to hear the screams of defeat from one and the cry of victory from another. Pat and Jared were on the floor, wrestling, while Kennedy, Garrett, Zack and Jack from All Time Low and Hayley from Paramore were on the couch cheering them on.

They paused for a second, looking at us, saying hey, then returned to the match they had going on. Jared jumped up a second later, “all right, who wants to go against the champion?” Nobody said anything.

“I’ll do it,” I smirked.

“Are you sure?” Jared asked. I nodded and proceeded to take of my necklace, ring, and flip flops. “The safety word’s carrot, all right?”

“Don’t be telling me,” I challenged and threw my hair into a messy bun. I heard a couple of ‘ohs’ and couldn’t help but smile.

“Ready?” He asked. I nodded and prepared for the fight that was about to go down. After everything was said and done, I had won, leaving everyone speechless. “Congratulations, you just beat the champion,” Jared extended his hand, which I shook in response.

“Gracias Señor,” I smiled.

“Do you play video games too?” Garrett asked. I shook my head.

“I never really got the chance to, I was so caught up in school, and when I wasn’t, I was busy helping with the animals at the neighbor’s farm. Every now and then, Jimmie and I would play a quick round of some shooting game, but I never paid much
attention.”

“You? A farm girl?” Jack asked. I laughed and nodded. “I didn’t see that one coming.”

“Yeah dude, it was a lot of fun. I love working with animals. Actually, I was planning on being a veterinarian when I got out of high school, but we see how that turned out.”

“I’m gonna go watch a movie in the back, anyone wanna come with me?” John asked. When no one replied, I stepped forward.

“I’ll watch a movie with you, as long as it isn’t some lame ass one.”

“Well that eliminates almost all of them,” I heard Pat say.

“Hush it, Rat Boy,” John snapped and shut the door behind us.

“Did you just call him what I think you just call him?” I questioned and sat cross-legged on the couch while he picked out a movie to watch.

“Yes, I did.” I giggled at him and he put Spiderman in the DVD player.

“Hell yes, I love this movie!” I high fived him as he sat beside me on the couch.

“I like you already,” John smirked.

We were halfway through the movie when my phone buzzed with a text message from Jimmie. Sound check. Bring John and don’t go in the bus.

“Hey, I gotta go do sound check, Jimmie wants you to tag along, and he said not to go in the bus which I have no clue what that’s about, but oh well,” I shrugged.

“All right,” he said and got up. We walked to the stage side by side where everyone was already set up and playing. I jumped up on stage and sat down behind my drum set where I pick up my sticks and began to play the intro of one of our songs.

“Sounds good, guys,” John said as we finished. We all replied with a form of thank you and took drinks from our water bottles.

Jimmie walked over to John and started whispering in his ear. He nodded his head, and Jimmie walked away, randomly playing the intro the ‘The Weight’ by The Band. No one followed through with it. Upon noticing, he stopped.

We played one more song before settling that everything sounded good for tonight, and we could go back inside to the air conditioner.

John followed to our bus where Serena shouted in the door, “Brooklyn, back lounge. Now.” We heard someone shuffling across the floor and a slam of a door before I was allowed on the bus.

“Start packing,” Jimmie commanded.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“You’re staying on The Maine’s bus tonight until shit dies down between you and Brooke.” I rolled my eyes and started cramming clothes and electronics in my backpack I had on the door.

“Ready?” John asked. I nodded and followed him to his tour bus.

“The champion’s back!” Garrett shouted and hugged me. I laughed and sat down beside Kennedy on the couch.

“Are you crashing with us tonight?” Jared asked. I nodded in response. “Awesome,” he high fived me.

“I’m in the mood to play poker, who’s down?” Pat asked. All the boys raised their hands. “What about you Livy?”

“I don’t know how. I’ll just supervise.”

“You wanna learn?” John asked. I shrugged my shoulders and stood behind John at the packed booth they had for a table. “If it’s not too much to ask, can you sit on my lap or something? I don’t like people standing behind me.”

“I have a boney ass, but whatever works for you,” I plopped down in the space he had between his legs and leaned against him where he could put his cards in front of us. The boys started explaining the game to me, but I couldn’t pick up anything they were teaching me. “Guys, I’m hopeless, I give up,” I said in defeat.

“You’re gonna know how to play by the time we get done with this tour, whether you know it or not,” Pat stated.

“Y’all can teach me whenever I get my ADD meds. I can’t focus for shit right now.”

“It’s okay,” John patted my knee. I looked at the time on the clock they had sitting on the table which read five o’clock.

“I guess I need to go get ready, so I’ll see y’all after you guys get done playing,” I got up from John’s lap and walked out the door.

“Wait,” Kennedy shouted. I turned around to see the guitarist running after me. “Is it all right if I walk with you? I have to go up here anyways, and I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

“Sooo,” he trailed off.

“Sooo,” I mimicked him.

“You and John. I think you guys should kiss. In front of all of us,” Kennedy blurted.

“Do what now?” I said, shocked.

“Okay, we made a bet to see how long it’d take to for you guys to kiss. John has no idea, so don’t tell him, but I bet it’d be today, Jared bet this week, Garrett bet next week, and Pat hasn’t decided.”

“How much did you bet?” I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

“A hundred dollars,” I mumbled.

“How much?!” I screeched.

“Okay, it’s not a big deal, just kiss him!”

“Kennedy, I can’t.” He cocked his head to the right as we stopped in front of Never Growing Up’s dressing room. He was about to speak when I cut him off, hand on the door handle. “I’m lesbian,” I turned and marched into the room, shutting the door behind
me. “What?” I asked myself out loud. I don’t roll like that, nor have I ever. Why the in the hell did I just tell him that?

“Oh, thank God you’re here Livy, we’re about to go on,” Serena greeted me.

“I just told Kennedy I was gay so I didn’t have to kiss John. What is wrong with me?” I explained, still in shock.

“You heard about the bet?” She asked. She knew about it, and didn’t tell me?

“Are John and I the only ones that didn’t know?” She nodded her head. “Okay, whatever, we’ve got a show to play, and drums are the only thing that’s getting my mind off this.”

“‘At a girl,” she smiled and patted my back sending me out the door.

“Ready?” Jimmie and Caleb asked simultaneously. Serena and I nodded in response, walking onto the stage with their instruments around them and my sticks in hand.

The crowd started screaming, and that’s when the stage fright set in. Forget about it. Get lost in the music. Look at your drums and whatever you do, do not look at the crowd. I kept repeating things like that in my head, trying to forget it.

By the end of the show, I had grown used to everything and could play comfortably instead of nervously and missing beats.

“Good job Livy,” John congratulated me as I walked off stage.

“Thanks,” I smiled and walked past him.

“Lesbian whatever,” Kennedy murmured as my ear was near him. I took a deep
inhale of breath and continued my journey to the dressing room. After about an hour, The Maine burst through our door.

“You ready Olivia?” Jared asked me. I nodded and got up off the couch, water bottle in hand.

“Where’s she going?” Brooklyn asked to no one in general.

“I’m spending the night with The Maine because I can’t stand to be around you.” I heard her gasp in anger and turned to see her throw her arms across her chest.

“How about you spend the night on your bus, and I spend the night with them?” She asked.

“Livy and Jared are set to a wrestling match, sorry,” John explained. I saw her say things under her breath, but could care less what she was saying.

“Hey, Jimmie, did you ever go get my stuff?” I asked, referring to my meds.

“No, no one got your fucking pills that you don’t even need. No one even likes you, so maybe you don’t need your anti-depressants and go blow out your brains just like Robbie did.” That struck a nerve. Robert, or Robbie for short, was one of my best friends, who killed his self a couple years ago. He knew everything about me, when Caleb or Jimmie didn’t.

I dropped my water bottle and with cloudy vision, I ran. I didn’t know where to, or when I’d get back, but I needed away from it. I heard everyone shouting at me, but I ignored them, still running full speed.

I collapsed behind our bus onto the grass, tears pouring out of my eyes, and curled into a ball. “Livy,” John started. I ignored him, just covering my face with my hands, still sobbing. “Come on, Olivia,” he pulled me into his lap where I cried into his shirt.

“How can she say that without even feeling bad?” I choked.

“I don’t know,” he stroked my hair. “It’s gonna be all right,” he kissed the top of my head. After several minutes of crying, I finally slowed down and began hiccupping instead. We both got up and wrapped our arms around each other, walking with each other to his bus.

“I’m a wreck right now, are you sure you don’t want me to stay on my bus?” I asked.

“I’d prefer you stay instead of Brooklyn, but if you’d rather be with your band instead, I totally understand.” I laughed at his Brooklyn comment.

“All right, I’ll stay with you guys then, and I promise I’ll cheer up. She only does it to piss me off.” I replied. We stopped in front of the door to their bus and faced each other. He took my face in his hands and wiped the tears off my cheek. I smiled and placed my hand over his.

The faded amount of light emerging from the small window on the door was suddenly dimmed even more and knew that they boys were looking out of it. “Whatever you do right now, don’t kiss me,” I mumbled, making my lips barely move. “I’ll explain later.”

I opened up the door to see all of the boys running and stumbling to make it look like they were originally in the living room area. “Hey guys,” Garrett said. “So what’d you guys do out there?”

“We didn’t kiss, don’t worry.” I laughed. I saw Kennedy mouth the word ‘shit’, and pound his fist against his leg.

“You ready for this rematch?” Jared asked me.

“As soon as I get one of those in my system,” I pointed to the Red Bull in his hand. He pointed to the fridge where I retrieved one, downing half of it in seconds.

“I don’t see how you guys drink that shit, it’s so nasty,” John’s face scrunched up. I laughed and set my drink on the table before fixing everything that could be a problem during wrestling.

I had won again, pinning him with no problem. “You know, next time you meet a girl like Livy, you should tell her you only wrestle naked, that way she won’t do it, and you won’t have to put up with the embarrassment of getting beat by a girl,” Pat stated, making
me giggle.

Jared flipped him off and pouted on the couch. “Aww, poor thing,” I patted his head and kissed his cheek.

“Ha, what now bitches?! I got a kiss and you didn’t!” Jared shouted.

“It didn’t mean anything, Livy’s not into guys,” Kennedy said.

“What?” John asked.

“I’m kinda sorta lesbian,” I lied.

“So, that explains when we asked Caleb, he said you were straight, and that you guys dated, and even had sex at one point in your relationship, right?” Kenny replied.

“At one point I was straight, and that was when I gave Caleb my virginity,” I kept digging myself further and further into a hole.

“Oh really?” Garrett asked.

“Yes, now can we stop with the interrogation? This is ridiculous,” I said, finishing up the rest of my drink.

“For real guys, she’s not into guys, the point’s across, just drop it,” John defended me. The guys mumbled ‘whatevers’ and focused on something else. “You wanna go finish watching the movie?” I nodded in response and followed him.

When the door was shut behind us, John stood close to me and bent down so he could easily whisper in my ear. “Are you really?”

“No,” I sighed. “They have a bet going on about how long it takes for us to kiss, and I told Kenny I couldn’t do it because I’m lesbian, and he took it way too far. Don’t say anything about the bet; I said I wouldn’t tell you.” He nodded and kissed my cheek before sitting down on the couch.

I laid down beside him and put my head on his leg, using him as a pillow. “You wanna bunk with me, or sleep on the couch or floor?”

“Is there gonna be enough room? Cause our bunks are pretty small.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Yeah, I’ll bunk with you,” I sat up and went to exit the room when John pulled me back by my hips, setting me on his lap.

“I just wanted to say thank you for staying here instead of Brooklyn. I really don’t like her, and I hardly know her.” I laughed and kissed his nose.

“You’re welcome, and thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder today, it meant a lot, really.”

“Anytime,” he smiled, making my heart melt. I got up and got my sleeping clothes out of my backpack where I went into their bathroom and changed into the shorts and baggy black shirt I had.

“Holy damn, Livy, I have to say it, and you can hit me if you want, but you’ve got some nice legs,” Garrett commented. I’m pretty sure I blushed a deep red before saying a thank you and walking back towards where John was.

“What happ—” he stopped. “Oh my,” his jaw dropped slightly.

“My face is up here, not on my legs,” I grabbed him by his jaw line and tilted his head so that his eyes were on my face.

“Oh, um, sorry,” he scratched the back of his neck.

“Which bunk’s yours?” I asked.

“This one,” he pointed to a bottom bunk, which a crawled in easily and laid down. “You aren’t really tired, are you?” He asked.

I nodded. “I almost got in a fight, wrestled, cried, ran, and wrestled some more,” I explained. He shrugged his shoulders, understanding I was right.

“If you wait a second, I’ll get in there with you, just hold on,” he left the bunk area, and a few moments later the light flicked off and I was in complete darkness except for the light that was coming from under the door in the front lounge. “Do you care if I sleep in my boxers?”

“I don’t give a shit, I’m lesbian, remember?” I smirked and felt the bed shift beside me.

“Sorry, I don’t know how I forgot,” he joked.

“Goodnight John.”

“Goodnight Livy.”

“Goodnight Pat,” we heard someone say.

“The hell?” John and I broke into a giggle fit, realizing Pat had joined us in the bunk room and had said goodnight to himself when no one else did.

“Yes Pat, goodnight,” I laughed and rolled onto my side, facing the wall.

Maybe having Brooklyn on tour with us wouldn’t be so bad after all.