Love is a Luxury

I was woken up in the middle of the night, shivering out of my skin with my teeth chattering like a tambourine. I looked over to see John with the covers wrapped around him. “Wake your fat ass up,” I shook him.

“Huh, what’s going on?” He asked, still half asleep.

“You stole the covers, Asshole. It’s cold in here.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” he unraveled himself and gave me back half of them. “You could always snuggle with me, ya know.”

“I know.”

I woke up several hours later, freezing once again. “Damnet John,” I went to go wake him up thinking he stole the covers again. I was stopped upon noticing I was alone and got out of the bed.

“Hey,” he greeted me when I walked into the front lounge.

“Hey,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest and holding my arms in an attempt to keep warm. “Where is everyone?” I sat down on the couch beside him.

“Getting breakfast; you wanna go get some with me?” I nodded and grabbed my backpack that held my clothes. I changed quickly into some denim shorts and a gray v-neck shirt. “Ready?” I nodded again as I put on my socks, thinking I had my Converses.

“Shit,” I said, realizing I only had my cowboy boots. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go get some normal shoes,” I told him, and turned to walk out the door to my bus when I felt his hand grab mine.

“It’ll be fine. Here, borrow Garrett’s flip-flops; he’s got small enough feet,” he said, throwing the shoes at me. I pulled off my socks and slipped them on. They were big on me, but I couldn’t complain; it looked a lot better than cowboy boots with denim shorts.

“Thanks,” I said as he held the door open for me at the Huddle House we decided to eat at.

I got an order of hash browns while John got a plate full of waffles, doused in syrup. We were eating in a comfortable silence when I heard someone squeal and saw a silhouette over our table. “You’re John Oh!” A teenage girl with black wavy hair said. “Do you think I can get you to sign this?” She held out a The Maine CD with a Sharpie in her other hand.

“Of course,” he smiled and gladly signed his band’s creation.

“And you’re Olivia Painter from Never Growing Up! My brother loves you guys. He went out to the car real quick, but when he gets back do you think you can talk to him? It’s his sixteenth birthday and it would mean the world to him,” the girl explained.

“Sure,” I smiled, happy I was recognized.

“Hey Chris, come here for a second,” she shouted towards the door which I had my back to.

“Wha—Oh my gosh,” Chris’ jaw dropped.

“Hey Chris, happy birthday,” I hugged him.

“Th-thank you,” he stuttered.

“Are you going to the show tonight?” He nodded. “Cool, I’ll see you there then. Have fun being sixteen—trust me, it’s great,” I smiled and was about to walk out of the restaurant with John when I stopped and called the black haired girl to come towards us. “Does your brother have stage fright?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“I’m gonna try to get the boys and Serena to agree to bring him on stage tonight and sing happy birthday to him. Do you think that’d be okay?”

“Livy, that’d be perfect, he’d love it! I’ll keep it a secret. His last name’s Jones, so when you call him on stage he won’t get confused.”

“All right, cool beans,” I smiled. “Am I gonna see you there too?” She nodded. “Awesome, see you later then,” I high fived her and left with John.

“That’s really nice of you, you know?” He said while we were walking back to the bus.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I want him to have a good birthday. Sixteen’s a good year and it should be introduced properly.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Shoot.”

“I thought you were going to be one of those snooty bitches who relied on daddy’s money, and right now I really feel bad for thinking that. You’re a really cool girl Olivia, and I think you’ve got a lot of potential,” he said.

I stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled him into my arms. “Thanks John,” I smiled.

“No problem, but I just wanted to get that out now instead of later.” I nodded my head understandingly.

We walked in silence back to the venue where Jimmie found us. “Here Livy,” he held out two orange pill bottles in his hand. “I told Brooke if she did it again she’d have to stay in the bus for two whole weeks, without seeing any guys, so I don’t think you’ll have any problems with her throwing them away again.”

“Thanks man,” I gladly took the prescriptions from him and put them into my purse.

“Livy!” Serena called and motioned for me to come to her. “How was the night with the boys?” She asked when I approached her.

“I beat Jared in wrestling again, and finished watching Spiderman with John, but other than that everything was pretty chill on the bus.”

“How are you after last night? I wish I could’ve done something, but I know you like being by yourself, and I couldn’t even punch Brooklyn because she’s underage for another three months. I feel so bad though.”

“Rena, it’s fine, really. John caught up to me and let me cry on his shoulder for a good ten minutes before we went back to his bus.”

“Hey Olivia, are you gonna stay the night again, or..?” John trailed off as he joined our conversation.

“Actually, our uncle owns a little club not too far from here, and he can sneak the under aged in, so Brooklyn’s going to be drunk if you wanna stay on our bus tonight,” Jimmie explained.

“Nothing against y’all, because you guys are super rad, but not very often am I able to tolerate Brooklyn, so when she’s drunk is the best time, so I kinda wanna sleep on my bus when I can,” I said to John.

“I understand, so are you gonna go to the club then?” He asked.

“Probably not, drinking’s not my thing, and neither are drunken crowds.”

“I can stay and hang out with you or something?” I noticed Jimmie and Serena had left us alone.

“It’s fine. I actually have this book that I’m determined to finish soon, so distractions wouldn’t be good,” I tried to say as nicely as possible. “But if you give me your number, I’ll call you if I get tired of being by myself,” I smiled and held out my phone. He punched in his number, putting his contact name as ‘That Sexy Guy (;’. I couldn’t help but laugh as I put my phone back into my pocket. “See you later John.”

“Bye Livy,” he gave a smile.

“Did you get his number?” Serena asked as I caught back up with her. I smiled and gave a nod and showed her his contact name. “How original,” she smirked.

“Guys, we’re on in ten,” Caleb announced. We walked onto the make shift stage they had since it was an outdoor event.

“Shit, it’s already almost two?” They all nodded. “Didn’t know that,” I stated. I was more ready than ever. I wasn’t going to let stage fright get the best of me like last night’s show. “GUYS!” I yelled, remembering the plan I had set up this morning. I began to tell them everything that happened at the Huddle House, which they agreed to.

“All right, so we do it in between ‘You Only Like Me’ and ‘Take You Back’, right?” Everyone nodded.

“Guys, you’re on thirty seconds,” the stage director said, snapping us back into what was going on.

Thirty seconds was up, and next thing I knew I was walking across the stage, scanning the crowd for the black haired girl and her brother. We were halfway through our first song when I noticed them, smiles plastered across their faces.

Caleb sang the last few lyrics of ‘You Only Like Me’ and as soon as we were done, I got up to stand by Serena.

“All right guys, I met these awesome people this morning, and one’s birthday just so happens to be today. Did I mention it’s his sixteenth birthday? Chris Jones, come on up here.” His eyes were wide at first and then he had realization of what was going on when his sister pushed him.

He climbed on the stage and stood beside us girls. “So how’s your first day of being sixteen?” Serena asked.

“It just got ten times better,” he laughed into the microphone.

“And why’s that?” Caleb asked him.

“You guys are like, my favorite band, and the fact you guys just brought me on stage. I mean, how often do you get to say Never Growing Up wished you happy birthday? This is just awesome dude.”

“How ‘bout we sing him happy birthday?” Jimmie asked the crowd. “One, two, three!” Everyone started singing the song. Serena and I hugged him and the boys ‘bro-hugged’ him before he jumped off the stage back to where he originally was.

I sat back down behind my drums where we played a few more songs before finishing out set and walking off, where The Maine would start playing minutes later, then Paramore and All Time Low.

“I think you just made that kid’s year,” Jared told us. I smiled, happy I could do so and walked to the bus, not caring whether Brooklyn was on there or not.

---

“Call us if you need anything,” Jimmie said for the umpteenth time. I nodded and put my nose back into my book, reading the words carefully, making sure I comprehended everything. “Can you take Ozzy out for me too?”

Another thing I probably forgot to mention. Ozzy is our Australian Shepherd. I don’t know how we managed to get him on the bus, but he’s happily touring with us, sleeping in my bunk and getting taken out every other hour.

“Yeah,” I set down my book before grabbing the green leash and hooking it onto his collar.

“Come on, Babe,” I opened the door and called him out, but he wouldn’t budge. “What is it Oz?” I turned around to see what had him so scared when I saw a tall lanky figure towering over me. “Holy damn John! Don’t scare me like that!” I held my hand over my chest, panting heavily.

“Sorry,” he chuckled and hugged me. Ozzy let out a deep growl from his throat, stating John had crossed the line. “Is he gonna bite me?”

I laughed and tugged on the leash, bringing the dog to my side. “No, he’s just protecting me. That’s all he’s ever done if he’s not being a lap dog,” I scratched behind his ears.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” he made a right and started walking.

“Bye,” I waved. “Come on, Ozzy,” I called and brought him back inside.

I locked the door and sat cross-legged on the couch; book on one leg, and dog’s head on the other.

I had just finished reading and was about to go to bed with I heard someone pounding on the door. I sighed and looked out the window to my band mates and others, drunk and obnoxious. I unlocked the door and let them in.

Alex, Rian, Never Growing Up, and the three members of Paramore were now in the living room.

I sighed again, grabbed my iPod, and with Ozzy on the outside, I crawled into my bunk and fell asleep.

I woke up from a nightmare hours later, drenched in sweat, and panting. I got up and grabbed the two bottles out of my purse. With the help of the refrigerator light, I took an anti-depressant—knowing if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep—and downed it with water.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My usually tan skin was now pale and my blue eyes, usually bright and vibrant, were now dull and could pass for gray.

I turned on the cold water and splashed my face several times. I looked in the mirror to see my face dripping wet, but was startled when I saw someone behind me.

“You’re cute; you know that right?” John said, wrapping his lanky arms around my waist. The smell of alcohol on his breath was pungent.

“You’re drunk; you know that right?” I turned and removed his arms from me. I now faced him and could see how gone he really was.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a good time,” he winked at me.

“Go back to bed John.”

“Only if I can share one with you,” he smirked.

“I swear, if you don’t get on the damn couch and go back to sleep, I’ll lock you out so you have to sleep on the fucking sidewalk.”

“Feisty, aren’t you?” He said, leaning closer towards me. I quickly grabbed his arm, twisted it, and put it behind his body like cops usually do. I pressed his torso against the door of the bathroom.

“I don’t wanna hurt you John, but you’re pushing your luck. Now, I really suggest you go to bed, okay?” He whimpered and nodded. I let him go where he walked into the living room, leaving me alone in the small bathroom.

I groaned and went back to my bunk and lied awake for hours. Finally at about five that morning, I fell asleep.

“Wake up!” Someone shouted and poked me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Jack with a stick, leaning away from my bunk. “Oh thank God, I thought you were going to try to hit me like you did Alex.”

“What time is it?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

“About noon,” he replied. I sighed and got up.

“Nice bed hair,” Caleb commented sarcastically. I flipped him off and went into the bathroom where I fixed my hair.

“Better, Asshole?” He nodded. I took an ADD pill and pulled denim shorts along with an aqua camisole out of the closet and changed. “Where are we today?” I asked. I could’ve cared less, but I wanted to break the silence in the living room.

“New Mexico” Jack replied. I give a small nod.

“Why the fuck are you guys so quiet? Y’all are about to piss me off with this
silence,” I shouted.

“Whoa, Livy, calm your shit. We aren’t allowed to be quiet now?”

“Well, y’all don’t look hung-over anymore, so I would guess y’all could stand to talk at this point. It doesn’t matter, Jack, is Alex awake?” He nodded. “I’m going to hang out with him. Bye guys,” I exited the bus and went to the one All Time Low resided in.

“Hey Olivia,” Rian said as he opened the door for me.

“Hey Rian, is Alex here?” I asked.

“No, he’s on The Maine’s bus, helping John looking an attorney.” I’m sure my face was a question mark, because before I could ask, he went on to explain. “You didn’t hear did you?” I shook my head. “John and Brooklyn got so drunk last night they got hitched.”

“They did what?!” I said in shock, feeling my stomach drop. He nodded. “Let me get my hands on that little bitch,” I stormed off the bus, figuring Brooklyn was with John, and was about to snatch open the door for The Maine’s bus when Rian tackled me into a hug, stopping me before I got the door completely opened.

“Hold on, she’s underage, remember?” I grumbled and stalked off.

I decided to go to my bus, get my iPod, and go for a walk. I stepped on there and saw everyone who had a conversation going, stop and look at me. “Livy, what the hell’s wrong with you?” Jimmie asked.

“You know what’s wrong; don’t play that shit with me. You knew John and Brooklyn got married last night, but you just didn’t want to tell me,” I grabbed my iPod and walked out the door, not caring where I ended up, but I needed fresh air before I suffocated on the oxygen that still had sympathy in it.

“Need a ride?” A car pulled up beside me after walking for about an hour and a half.

“No thanks,” I stated, not bothering to look up from my shoes.

“Livy, please get in the car.” The fact that they knew my name made me curious. I looked up and saw John in a red Dodge.

“I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone right now, let alone you,” I spat.

“Fine, we can ride in silence, but you have to go on in about ten minutes, and you have a five mile walk to accomplish in that time.” I groaned and got in the car. I put on my seatbelt and propped my feet up on the dash. “Can I explain something to you at least?”

“What John?” I said in annoyance.

“Jeeze, someone’s in a bad mood…”

“Well, I couldn’t imagine fucking why. You got married last night to someone I
can’t stand to be around. Did you ever think to put those two together?”

“Well, no, not necessarily, but if you’d just listen maybe I could explain.” I
paused, waiting for him to continue. “We didn’t legitimately get married last night; it was like a Vegas kind of thing. So, technically, I’m still single. Well, that and I fucked up my vows so bad it shouldn’t count,” he chuckled.

We pulled into the reserved parking lot at the venue, and I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Serena held out my drum sticks as I stomped toward the stage which I snatched and walked onto the stage behind everyone else.

That night, I played better than I had since tour started. Anger helped me majorly, and let me hit everything on time without messing up.

We finished our last song and I ran offstage. I beat everyone to our dressing room where I opened the door to find two men sitting on the couch. “Um, may I help you?” I asked.

“You’re Olivia Painter, correct?”

“Yes, and you are?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say we’re you’re friends…” I started backing towards the door.

“If y’all don’t tell me who the hell you are right now, I’m gonna get that huge security guard out there to shoot you,” I felt for the pocket knife in my back pocket that I usually carried and panicked when I couldn’t find it. Shit. The guards wouldn’t allow me to take it in the venue.

At that moment, the remainder of Never Growing Up came through the door. “Um, what’s going on?” Jimmie asked.

“You’re Jimmie Painter, right?” He nodded. “Can I talk to you and Olivia in private?” He asked us.

“Once you tell me who you are,” I protested.

“We’re from the FBI, and we have knowledge to believe your father has committed several murders, which we think you know something about.” Caleb and Serena slowly backed out of the room, leaving us alone with the detectives.

“I haven’t talked to Michael in almost seven years. He’s a dead-beat dad, and could give two cents less about his kids. You can check my phone records, whatever, I don’t even know where he lives, and if I happened to be close to him, it was coincidental.”

“We think it’s possible he could be on you bus, and we have a warrant to search it.”

“Go on then. I’m sure you know where it’s at,” I snapped. I usually wasn’t this rude, but the John thing had me angry enough, and then FBI agents coming and accusing of talking to someone I hate, thinking I’ve been helping him out really topped everything off.

“Oh, excuse us, we never introduced ourselves.” Both of them held up their lanyards with their identification. I. Kent Believe I read the other one U. Fell Foret.

“I can’t believe you fell for it? What the hell’s going on here?” I asked. At that moment, All Time Low and Paramore came through the doors laughing. “Man, fuck you guys,” I laughed, realizing they had tricked me.

“Jimmie, Livy, meet our good friends Dawson and Alex DeLeon from The Cab,” Hayley introduced us.

“Hey, sorry by the way for picking such a sensitive subject to place this around,” Alex apologized.

“It’s fine, just please though, don’t do it again.” While everyone was talking I slipped outside and sat down on the pavement. I let the tears spill over my lids and tried my best to wipe them away, but it did no good.

I hated what my father did to us. He was an abusive drunk. He would beat us constantly, and finally when I was eleven, he left, taking the money with him and leaving us
broke.

We moved as soon as we could and made no contact with him whatsoever. For all I knew at this point was he could be dead or rich. I didn’t care though. I wanted him gone from my life.

Thinking back on everything he’d done made me cry even more. He wasn’t worth my tears, but I shed them anyways. I felt two arms embrace me into a hug and I leaned into them, not caring who it was at this point. “The marriage was a joke, just for the record. The boys wanted to piss you off, and I didn’t really get a say so in it. I’m so sorry,” he kissed the top of my head.

“That’s not what I’m upset about, but thanks anyways for the clarification; even if you did lie. Will you walk to the bus with me though to take my pill?” He nodded and helped me up, linking his fingers through mine.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I started off with it’s no big deal, then went into about how Michael had done us and how much it affected Jimmie and me.

We finally reached my bus where I packed my backpack and took a pill. John led me to his bus where we laid on the couch for a while before I got tired and changed. I got in his bunk and fell asleep. The last thing I remember was John lying down beside me, kissing my forehead and whispering ‘sweet dreams’ in my ear.