I Left My Heart In Huntington Beach

Brian’s Pov:

“Here you go Bella.” I mumbled, setting down a bowl of cereal in front of Bella. She smiled and picked up her food, spooning the cereal into her mouth. I covered my mouth as a long yawn escaped. It was Monday morning, and I haven’t been up this early on a Monday since high school. I decided to go to the radio interview after all. I haven’t been in the studio in a while, I know Matt is on the brink of killing me, and I’m afraid that if I don’t at least do this interview, today might be the day he cracks.

I had tried to get Heather to come along with us so she could look after Bella, but she refused. And could I really trust Heather? Not just with Bella, but with my secret as well? I knew Heather would end up blabbing about it to Nicole sooner or later, even if she didn’t mean to. So Bella is going to accompany Matt and I today. I just have to make sure she keeps quiet as well and doesn’t tell any of this to Nicole, like one of those parrots that repeats everything you say.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the toaster. I didn’t look too bad, but I didn’t look too good either. My eyes weren’t fully open yet and my hair was sticking to my forehead. I also noted that I needed to shave. I guess I could do that sometime later today.

I snatched the piece of toast that had just popped out of the toaster and shoved it in my mouth. I was making my way to Nicole’s room to change my clothes when I remembered that I didn’t have any to change into. I still needed to stop by my house to get some fresh ones. I decided to try and tame my hair while I waited for Bella to finish eating. After a few minutes I heard her spoon clink against the bowl, signaling she was done eating. I turned the corner into the living room to see Bella sitting at the table, playing with the panda bear I had gotten her at the zoo yesterday.

“Bella, why don’t you go get dressed so we can stop by my house real quick?”

Her head whipped around to face me as she heard my voice.

“No.” She simply said and stuck out her tongue. Wait, I thought this kid loved me?

“Bella,” I sighed. “I really don’t have time for this. Please, go get dressed.”

“No!” I suddenly felt bad for laughing at Nicole whenever Bella didn’t cooperate with her. This whole parenting thing wasn’t easy, and Bella wasn’t even my kid. I closed my eyes and let out another frustrated sigh, trying to figure out the best way to solve this problem. I opened my eyes to look down at my watch. 8:30. I had to be at the radio station in half an hour.

“Alright then, your going in your pajamas.” I declared, throwing on my leather jacket and setting Bella’s dishes in the sink. I made a mental note to wash them when we got back home. Bella began giggling and clapping her hands, as if being allowed to walk around in her pajamas all day was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. Then again, maybe it was.

She jumped down from her chair and ran over to me, tugging on my leg. I smiled down at her before picking her up and adjusting her on my side. She threw her hands around my neck. I had to admit it, it was going to be hard to let Bella go on Friday. I was really taking a liking to the kid. And I usually do not like little kids. I grabbed my car keys off the kitchen counter before setting Bella’s panda bear back into her hands and walking out the door.

This was going to be a very long day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Alright, that was Beast and the Harlot, by Avenged Sevenfold. For those of you just tuning in, I’m sitting here with the wonderful M. Shadows, and Synyster Gates of Avenged Sevenfold. How does it feel to be back in Huntington guys?” The radio DJ, whose name I learned was Jeremy, was insanely perky. He wore glasses, which I suspected he didn't even need, and seemed to have an entire book of questions for us.

I stifled another yawn, carefully keeping my eyes on Bella as Matt answered the question. The secretary had fetched a plush chair for Bella, which she was sitting in right now and still playing with her panda bear. Every now and then she would look up and stare at me or Matt or Jeremy, taking everything in. It was hard to concentrate on the interview, not only because of Bella, but because of the prayer I was making in the back of my mind that Bella never repeated anything that happens today.

Bella began giggling and talking to her panda bear in a deep voice while moving it‘s arms around. I had no idea what she was doing, but it was pretty cute.

“Syn, that’s a cute kid you got there, is she yours?”

I was yanked from my thoughts as I heard Jeremy’s voice in my headphones.

“Oh, uh no, she’s my sister’s kid. I’m just watching her for the day.” I smiled as I added another lie to the pile. My sister wasn’t even old enough for kids yet.

“What’s her name?” Jeremy asked, looking me directly in the eye. I felt my insides melting, and not in the good way like when Nicole was around. I wondered if my lies were written all over my face and Jeremy could read them crystal clear. My palms began getting sweaty. Couldn’t this guy just get back to the questions about our album? I mean, that is the reason we’re here.

“Uh, her name is Kylie.” I choked out. Another lie. I was certain I would win ‘asshole of the year’, if there were an award for that. And with the way I had been treating Nicole and my friends lately, I was sure they would create it in my honor.

“That is not my name!” Bella exclaimed as she sprung from her chair and stomped her foot. I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them again, Bella would be sitting quietly in her chair talking to her panda bear.

Jeremy looked over at me with one of his eyebrows raised. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. I was running out of lies.

“Well, I mean, it’s actually her middle name.” I chuckled nervously, and then coughed, which just made things even more awkward. I rubbed my neck, wishing I had just let Matt kill me.

Jeremy shook his head. “Okay, anyway, here is another classic from Avenged.” He clicked a few buttons and Unholy Confessions replaced his voice. I inhaled, exhaling sharply, afraid to even glance at Matt, who I assumed probably had smoke coming out of his ears.

I decided to take the risk, slowly turning my head. He frowned at me and shook his head. Matt couldn’t have known I was lying, that was the same story I had told him this morning. I wanted to look in a mirror just to make sure that I didn’t really have a flashing sign on my forehead that announced to the world, ‘I’m lying to everyone!’. He removed his headphones and leaned over the counsel to apologize to Jeremy.

“I’m sorry dude. I don’t know what’s up with him today, he’s never like this.”

Jeremy waved his hand like he was swatting a fly away. I didn’t hear his response. The sound of my conscience --telling me that everything I was doing was wrong, that I should just quit this act -- was overpowering his voice.

I leaned back in my seat and looked over at Bella. She was staring down at her panda bear with a pout. I could feel my heart cracking. God, I was a dick. Her deep blue eyes stared up at my face, her pout turning into a frown. Sighing, I scooted my seat back and silently made my way out the door. I made a beeline for the parking lot, yanking a cigarette out of my pocket. I stuck it in my mouth and lit it. I think I will personally ask Matt to kill me when I go back inside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nicole’s Pov:

I shut the door to the backroom of the library, making sure to lock it. Anne hadn’t left my side once the entire morning. I hadn’t even been gone for a month and the woman acted as if I had never stepped foot in a library before.

I pulled my salad and water out of my bag and set it on the table. I grabbed the portable radio off the shelf and set it down on the table in front of me. I removed the lid off the container that held my salad while turning the dial, trying to settle on a good station.

A familiar voice made that choice for me.

I knew that voice. That husky, almost taunting voice.

“So Syn, Matt was telling me that you’ve been writing some pretty intense riffs for this new album. Where do you get these ideas? I mean they are insane.” I wondered who this was for a second, before I remembered that today they were having the guys from Avenged Sevenfold on.

The man, I’m guessing named ‘Syn’, chuckled. I felt like I knew that chuckle, but something sounded off. It didn’t sound as cheerful like how Brian’s always did.

“Well, me and Zack work a lot together on riffs and then mostly I just pick my brain until a good solo comes out. Some days they just come to you and then other days you don’t get anything.” The voice answered. He sounded like he was struggling to keep his voice steady.

It couldn’t be his voice. Brian and Bella were at home, sitting on the couch and watching TV. Or maybe they had taken Snicker’s for a walk. Why in the world would Brian be on the radio anyway? It was silly of me to even think it was his voice. I’m just hearing things.

I sighed and spun the dial violently to the left, the sound of the radio DJ's voice disappearing instantly. I set my head in my hands for a minute, taking a deep breathe. I exhaled and stared down at my salad, now wishing I had gotten a cookie.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian’s Pov:

“Bella, are you going to talk to me?” I asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror. She had her arms crossed, panda sitting on her lap, and her frown still present on her face as she stared out the window.

I sighed. “Bella, I’m sorry. You want some ice cream?” I suggested and smiled at her, raising one of my eyebrows.

She turned her head to face me and stared back at me through the mirror. I could tell she was trying to contain a smile that wanted to escape. I made a quick left, then a sharp right, and pulled up in front of Baskin Robbins. I twisted in my seat to see Bella squirming in her car seat.

“Hurry before the ice cream melts!” I chuckled as she threw her little arms up. I turned off the car and set my keys in my pocket, before getting out and helping Bella out of her car seat.

She jumped down and ran to the front door, jumping to reach the handle. She still had a few 3 feet to go before she would reach it, even standing on her tip toes. I smiled a little before opening the door and moving aside, letting her scurry past me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Is it good?” I asked, picking up Bella and shutting the car door. She nodded, her hair bouncing around her face. A little spot of chocolate ice cream was on her chin. I wiped it off with my thumb, before kissing her cheek.

“Am I forgiven?” I asked with the puppy dog eyes I usually use on Nicole.

She stared at me for a moment, then down to her ice cream, then back to me. She nodded and her smile widened. I ruffled her hair and unlocked the trunk, pulling out the bag of fresh clothes I had grabbed from my house before going to the interview from hell.

I tried pushing the disaster of an interview out of my mind, and set Bella on the ground. I slammed the trunk shut. We began walking up the stairs to Nicole’s apartment. I didn’t like these stairs very much. They were steep and covered with pebbles. Who covers stairs with pebbles? Doesn’t it hurt enough just to be walking up stairs in the first place?

I shook my head and grabbed the keys out of my pocket, locating the silver key Nicole had given me. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Bella ran inside and plopped herself on the couch, smiling as she continued eating her ice cream. I was going to really miss that little smile come Friday.

I set my bag down on the couch next to Bella with a grunt. Maybe I had packed to much.

Running my fingers through my hair I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I whipped around, shooting my eyes towards the kitchen. It was Nicole sitting at the table, dipping a cookie in a glass of milk. I sighed and set my hand over my heart.

“Shit Nicole, you scared the hell out of me.”

“Watch your language.” She retorted, never taking her eyes off her cookie.

“Sorry.” I mumbled before moving to the kitchen. Her eyes remained glued on the cookie. What was it about this cookie? She stared at it as if it contained the meaning of life.

“Baby, I think the cookie has enough milk.” I murmured with a chuckle, running my hand across her back. She groaned and let the cookie fall into the glass of milk.

“Nicole, what’s wrong?” I walked around her to grab a chair and sit down. She sighed and set her face in her hands. She took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled, slumping her shoulders.

“Nothing, I’m just tired.” She removed her face from her hands and shook her head. She looked over at Bella, who sat quietly staring out the window. Why did she not do that during the interview?

“Bella, sweetheart why don’t you put on some cartoons?” Nicole requested softly.

Bella leaned over my bag and grabbed the remote off the table. The TV soon came to life, Spongebob Squarepants appearing on the screen. I looked back at Nicole. She looked drained. Still beautiful, but drained nonetheless.

“Did something happen at work?”

She took a long sip of her milk before answering my question.

“No, I’m loosing my mind.”

I let out another laugh. “Well I already knew that.” I was grateful when a little smile appeared on her face. I was also grateful that a simple chocolate ice cream had erased Bella’s memory of everything that had happened today.

“No, I just, I was listening to the radio at work today and I swear I heard your voice on the radio.” She sniffed and shook her head, taking another sip of milk.

My poor heart. I was traumatizing it. Stop, beat, stop, beat, stop. I could hear my insides threaten to stay mush if they were sent into anymore shock.

Did Nicole know? Did Zack tell her behind my back? Was she using some sort of reverse psychology on me? I seemed to be asking myself a lot of questions these days. But then again, liars are always paranoid.. I shook my head, trying to come back down to earth so I could respond to Nicole.

“Oh yeah? Did you miss me that much?” I asked casually and reached for a cookie.

“I think I did.”

I stuffed the cookie in my mouth, letting my attention gravitate towards her. She smiled at me, a hint of red on her cheeks. I swallowed before even attempting to smile back.

“Well, Bella and I missed you to.” I answered after I had swallowed my cookie.

She pushed her chair closer to mine and rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed her head before grabbing another cookie. I could feel my conscious clawing at me again, trying to break free. I was afraid that if I kept my mouth unoccupied, much worse would come out. I couldn’t do this forever. I have to tell her someday.

I stared down at my hands, not able to look her in the eyes anymore. I was also afraid that if she looked deep enough into mine, she’d figure me out. I didn’t mean to lie, and I certainly didn’t want to, but I had to. I loved Nicole and I couldn’t loose her. Not over something as silly as my job.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Nicole’s Pov:

I looked up from my book as I felt the bed shift next to me.

“Hey, is she asleep?” I asked, motioning toward the living room with my book. Brian nodded. I turned my attention back to my book, until a tattooed hand snatched it away. I sighed and removed my glasses, setting them on the table beside me.

“What is so important you must interrupt my reading?” I smirked and shifted my position so I was facing him, but still lying on my side.

“This.” He simply said, before reaching out and grabbing a hold of my face, attacking my lips with poisonous kisses. I instantly surrendered, trying to find the strength to kiss back. My knees seemed to go weak and my common sense seemed to fly right out the window whenever his lips touched mine. But it was the best helpless feeling a person could feel. Because you weren’t really helpless, you more hopeless. Hopelessly in love.

I pulled away reluctantly. My lungs were screaming for air. I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before breathing out. He chuckled at my response.

“What was that for?” I asked, still breathless.

“Just because.” He smirked and shrugged, setting my book back into my hands.

I shook my head still a little dazed before deciding I was done reading for the night. I set the book on the nightstand and clicked off the light. I stood from the bed and pulled the sheets down, jumping quickly back into bed and cuddling up to Brian’s side.

He was warm and made the most perfect pillow. His skin was soft and the color of his skin was still so appealing to me for some reason. It was the most beautiful shade of brown I had ever seen, besides his eyes. I looked up at his face, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. He turned his attention towards me, as if my eyes had burnt his skin. He smiled at me a little. I was still to dazed from that kiss to smile back.

“Why don’t we go somewhere tomorrow?” He asked, the smile now a smirk. Oh no. The smirk was never good news.

“Like where?” I slung my arm over his waist, which was almost as warm as his chest.

“How about we go have dinner down by the pier?” Huh, not as dangerous as I thought his suggestion was going to be. I hate to admit it, but I’m a little disappointed. I tried my best to contain my laugh, but it escaped against my will.

“What?” He asked, tilting his head to the side with a little smile.

"I’m still scarred from the last time we went out to eat.” I shivered as Barbie’s face popped back in my head.

“Nicole, I really don’t think she will be working at the restaurant I’m taking you to.”

“And which restaurant are you taking me to?”

“You’ll see.” The smirk came back. Was this the dangerous part I oddly hoped for? All I knew was that if Barbie came anywhere near us this time, she was going down. I removed my head from his shoulder to lay it on my pillow.

“Can’t wait.” I murmured and pulled the sheets up over my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let sleep over take me. The last thing I felt was a warm pair of soft lips kissing my forehead.