I Left My Heart In Huntington Beach

Brian’s Pov:

I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I felt like I was going to puke. Maybe if I tell Nicole now, then she will have some time to forgive me, then we can be together again. I didn’t want to loose her, but I couldn’t lie any longer.

“Nicole,” You can do this, I tried reassuring myself. She lifted her head up off my chest and stared up at me. Her eyes were a little red from all the crying she had done. “Nicole, there’s something I have to tell you.” My throat was dry and I hoped I would be able to speak clearly, or at least keep my voice steady.

“What is it?” She asked softly and kissed my chin.

I bit my lip, casting my eyes down to stare at my hands. They were still intertwined with Nicole’s.

“I think there’s something about me you should know. And I hope you forgive me for this, and you can understand why I took so long to tell you. But I need you to know something,” I tried to swallow. My throat felt like a dessert and I couldn’t seem to make a clear sentence in my head. Words bounced around in my head like they were on a trampoline.

“Brian, what are you talking about?” She pulled herself out of my arms, confusion flickering across her face.

“Nicole, I’m a--”

“Hey, do you people lock your doors anymore!?” Someone yelled down the hallway.

Nicole and I stood from the bed. Heather appeared in the doorway.

“Whoa, am I interrupting something here?” She chuckled and pointed at us.

“No, no we were just talking.” Nicole said, smoothing out her skirt. “Heather, what are you doing here?”

“I was coming over to ask you if you could come over and help me pack.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, hoping that Nicole didn’t catch me. Of course Heather had to come over and interrupt the exact moment I was about to tell Nicole. And she was barging in for something so stupid! Heather had two hands, she could pack by herself.

I shook my head as Nicole began putting on a jacket.

“Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll see you in a little okay, then we can talk." Nicole had a small smile on her face as she gave me a quick kiss.

"Why can’t Zack help you?” She asked as they walked out of the room and down the hallway. I didn’t hear Heather’s answer, although I was wondering the same thing.

I took a deep breath and threw a pillow on the ground out of frustration, throwing myself back onto the bed. I heard the door click shut.

I turned on my side and closed my eyes. Sleep snuck up behind me and overtook my entire body in a matter of seconds.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A door slammed shut. I shot up in the bed to see Nicole storm into the room.

“Hey baby.” I smiled and opened my arms, expecting her to come give me a hug. She glared at me and pulled a few bags out from underneath the bed.

“What are you doing?” I asked as she began yanking clothes out of her closet and throwing them into one of the bags.

“I’m leaving Brian.” She snapped and tossed the full one on the ground, filling up the second bag.

“What? Why are you leaving?” My voice cracked as my stomach twisted in knots.

“Because Heather told me what you are Brian. I can’t believe you, your such an asshole! I can’t believe that all this time you were just lying to me!” She screamed at me, her cheeks turning red.

“Nicole I was going to tell you, I swear. But Heather came--”

“Save it Brian! Just save it. I can’t believe I ever loved you. You’re just a shitty rockstar like James!” She yelled before throwing one of her hairbrushes at me. It smacked me in the chest. She slung the bags over her shoulders and began making her way out of the bedroom.

“Nicole, I’m sorry. Please just let me explain baby, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to leave me!” I pleaded and ran after her, stumbling over one of the bags she had forgotten to fill. I threw it aside, running down the hallway at full speed.

“Nicole, where are you going to go?” I asked, reaching out for her arm. She yanked it away.

“Don’t you dare touch me Brian. All this time,” She snorted, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I thought you were different. You're just like James!” She slapped me across the face before turning on her heel and storming out of the house. The door slammed behind her.

A picture frame fell off a wall somewhere in the distance. I heard the glass shatter as it crashed to the floor.

“Dang, that’s rough man.” I turned around, wondering where the voice had come from. There was no one else in the house with me, besides Snickers. She jumped up on my leg, her little brown eyes staring up at me.

“Why did you lie to her man?”

Was a dog talking to me? I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. “Hello?” Snickers repeated, her eyes getting wider as if she had raised a pair of invisible eyebrows.

“I don’t know why I lied Snickers, probably because I’m an asshole.” I sat on the couch, setting my face in my hands and let out a deep sigh. Was I now talking back to a dog?

I felt Snickers crawl onto my lap and lick my hand. “Well, Brian. There’s only one thing you have to do.”

“What?” I asked, pulling my face out of my hands.

“Wake up.” She simply stated and placed another lick on my hand.

“What?” I asked, pulling my brows together.

“Wake up!” The dog yelled.

“But I am awake!” I yelled back, standing up from the couch. The room turned into a warped picture and Snickers soon disappeared with the rest of the house.

“Brian.” I heard a soft voice in my ear and a pair of fingers comb through my hair. “Brian, baby. Wake up.” A soft hand began lightly shaking my arm.

I let out a little groan as my eyes slowly opened. I saw a pair of hazel eyes staring back into mine. I soon recognized the shape of the persons nose, and the pink color of their plump lips.

“Nicole!” I shouted, shooting up from the bed like a vampire rising from a coffin, almost knocking heads with Nicole in the process.

“Whoa, are you excited to see me or something?” She giggled a little and took a step back. I gaped up at her.

“How, why? But the dog…the dog was talking to me and you?” I stopped and scratched my head.

“Snickers was talking?” She asked with a chuckle. “Are you okay?” She came back over to the bed and felt my forehead like she was checking for a fever.

“No, I.. I think I just had a weird dream.” More like a nightmare. I rubbed my eyes a little, trying to clear my vision.

“Aww, was I in your dream?” She asked with a little smile.

“Uh, no. No, it was just me and Snickers hanging out.” I rubbed my neck a little and stared down at my lap.

Everyday was a lie. Every second of everyday I was having to lie about something. Even the tiniest, stupidest things I was having to lie about.

“Oh, well I finished packing for you.” She said, setting my suitcase on the bed. “I didn’t know Zack was staying at your house.”

“Oh, yeah,” I mumbled. Even I had forgotten he was staying over. Zack’s house was being remolded at the moment, and being the good buddy I’ve always been, I let him stay over until it’s done.

“Nicole, you didn’t have to pack for me.” I muttered, really wishing she hadn’t. It just made me feel like more of an asshole. And that stupid dream didn’t help much either. It had all felt so real. I rubbed my arms and noticed that I had goosebumps.

“It’s alright, I wanted to.” She shrugged, pulling her hair into a low bun.

I smiled a little before pulling her towards me and wrapping her up in a hug. We stayed like that, unmoving and silent, for a few moments.

“Oh, so what was it you wanted to tell me? Before Heather pulled me away.” She asked, pulling away from the hug but keeping her arms wrapped around me.

Do I tell her? I know I should, and I know there’s no right or wrong time. It’s wrong in every way possible, it doesn’t matter when I tell her. But do I do it now? Or should I try and enjoy a couple more days with her before she kicks me out of her life forever.

“I was just going to tell you that…” Gulp. “I’m really happy your coming to Vegas with me.” I smiled at her, not able to show my teeth. She blushed a little and rested her chin back on my shoulder.

“Well, I’m excited to, I am. Even though I have read some crazy stuff on it.”

I shook my head a little. I still thought it was the cutest thing when she went into librarian mode.

I tried to push away my nagging conscious and promised to myself that the minute we got home from Vegas, I would tell Nicole who I am, even if my nightmare came true.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I awoke to a loud thud and a string of cuss words ringing throughout the house. I sat up from the bed, running a finger through my hair. Luckily I got some peaceful sleep last night, no nightmares. The anxiety was still present though, and my stomach was still twisted with nerves. I felt sick, wishing that Heather would have never interrupted yesterday and I could have just gotten all of this off my chest. I was tired of having to watch everything I did or said, and my conscious never leaving me alone. It screamed at me, telling me what I already knew-- that I was an asshole that didn’t deserve Nicole.

I don’t hate my job, even if it’s the cause of all this mess. I love what I do, it means a lot to me. I wondered if Nicole would understand that. I wondered if she would sit and listen when I told her, if she would let me explain. She was a caring person, and caring people were always understanding. Right?

I let out a deep breath and threw on a shirt before going to see if Nicole was all right.

She stood at the door, rubbing her hands.

“What happened?” I asked in a drowsy tone.

She jumped at the sound of my voice.

“Oh, you scared me. I’m fine, I just crushed my hands under my stupid suitcase.” She mumbled and rubbed her hands on her thighs.

I glided over to her, picking up her soft hands and examining them. They were red, but nothing looked broken.

“Your hands look fine to me.” I rubbed them a little before placing a kiss on her knuckles.

“Thank you.” She smiled at me and pulled her hands away.

“What were you trying to do anyway?” I asked after a few moments.

“Well I was trying to put the suitcases in the car, but I think I packed to much in mine and I couldn’t carry it.” She sighed, looking at her arms as if wishing she had huge muscles if only for a few minutes.

I chuckled a little. “Why didn’t you come wake me up? I would’ve helped you.”

“I thought I could handle it on my own.” She pouted.

I smiled and planted a quick kiss on her lips before picking up the suitcase and setting it by the door.

“Why don’t we just get dressed and I will carry the suitcase out to the car.” I offered, pushing a few stray hairs out of her face. She nodded and walked down the hallway.

Today we left for Vegas, and I couldn’t be happier. I was so glad to be getting out of Huntington for a while. But it would be a bittersweet trip. This might be the last few days I get to have Nicole in my life before I tell her my secret. I didn’t know how she would react, but I was hoping that at least in time she would forgive me and understand why I haven’t told her.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to keep it together. I felt like I was being torn apart in side. One side was the anxiousness of telling Nicole, the other was the hatred that swirled inside me; hatred for myself and what I’ve become. For every lie I’ve told Nicole.

I took a deep breath and walked down the hallway, trying to quiet my conscious as I got dressed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nicole’s Pov:

The flight hadn’t taken as long as I thought it would. It was actually pretty pleasant. I had never been on a plane before, but my nerves had calmed halfway through the flight. Though, that might just be because I was to busy trying to wrap my mind around the intoxicating kisses that were being shared between Brian and I.

We picked up our bags and began looking for Heather and Zack, who had offered to pick us up at the airport. They had flown up yesterday because Heather wanted to experience as much of Vegas as she could. I smiled a little to myself at the thought. Heather had Vegas written all over. I think she was going to have the best time out of all of us.

Brian’s voice took me out of my thoughts.

“There they are.” His tattooed finger pointed at them, as his other hand carried my suitcase. I had complained the entire plane ride, telling him that I was a big girl and I could handle it. He just ignored me and insisted that he was a big boy as well and he could handle it, even though I could see he was struggling with it.

He set it on the ground as we reached Heather and Zack. I tried snatching it away while he wasn’t looking, but he turned around a minute to soon and caught me, pulling it from my hands. I sighed and reluctantly let him have it. He kissed my head before catching up to Zack. Heather tagged along with me.

“So what’s been going on lately?” She asked, readjusting the purse on her shoulder.

“Not much,” I said, deciding to skip over the week Brian and I had spent with Bella. I didn’t feel talking about Bella, I still really missed her. “What have you been up to?”

“Not much either, Zack’s been cooped up in the studio lately.” She rolled her eyes.

“What studio?” I asked, and looked over at her, confused.

She flashed a quick look at me, then Brian, then casually flipped her hair and opened her phone as if she had received a text.

“Oh, just this silly little studio him and Brian share. They play guitar and paint and stuff.” She spoke so quickly I barely understood her.

“Huh,” I mumbled, turning my attention towards Brian, wondering why he had never told me any of this.

“Brian never told you?” She asked, still staring at her phone.

“No…”

“Oh, I thought he did. So anyway, are you excited for Vegas?” She lifted her eyes to meet mine now, a smile on her face. I smiled back the best I could and nodded my head.

“Good, me too.” She looped her arm through mine before dragging me along with her through the airport.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I leaned out of the cab, the wind whipping my hair around as we drove down the Vegas strip. I really thought I’d never see this, but here I was. I was glad that I ended up coming.

I had read contradicting things on Vegas in books and magazines. And I haven’t been living under a rock all these years, I knew what went on in Vegas. Booze, sex, drugs and gambling. Although, I was sure I wasn’t going to participate in any of that.

I guess Heather’s excitement was beginning to rub off on me, and I didn’t want to ruin Brian’s time. He looked so excited. Zack and him had been laughing and talking the entire way through the airport and they were now doing the same as we all sat in the cab.

The strip was intriguing. I had never seen buildings so tall in my life. Some of the hotels seemed to touch the sky, and they were so colorful. People covered every inch of the strip. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how beautiful the strip was going to look at night when it was all lit up. The excitement was beginning to bubble up inside me.

I pulled my head back in, trying to fix my hair. I pulled it up in a high bun, not really wanting to deal with it. I wondered if Snickers was okay. I had never left her before, but I trusted Brian’s friend. We had left Brian’s dog, Pinkly with him as well, and that dog seemed to be Brian’s child, so if Brian trusted him, I guess I could too.

Heather lay her head on Zack’s shoulder and stared up at him, her brows furrowed. She seemed a little upset that Zack hadn’t even glanced at her once since we left the airport. I chuckled a little, deciding to listen in on their conversation.

“So Matt and Jennifer are here?” Brian asked.

Zack nodded. “Yeah, they flew in last night with us.”

“Where are we staying?”

“Caesars Palace. It’s beautiful dude.” Heather began pulling on Zack’s arm. I had never seen her beg for attention like this before. Had she finally met her match?

“Do we have to get our own room?”

“No, Matt got you and Nicole one of the Fantasy suites. And Jen’s boss is paying for the whole thing. We don’t have to drop a dime! Well, not on the room at least,” Zack chuckled, and wrapped an arm over Heather’s shoulders.

“That’s awesome dude.” Brian smiled a little and nodded his head. He turned his attention out the window. Heather took this opportunity and reached out, yanking Zack’s face towards hers and planting her lips on his.

I smiled and shook my head, turning my attention on Brian. He rested his chin on the palm of his hand. He didn’t look as excited as he sounded. Maybe he’d been here before.

Feeling my gaze, he turned his attention towards me, smirking as he met my eyes. I nodded my head towards Heather and Zack who would probably be naked by now if we weren’t in the cab with them. Brian snuck a glance at them as well, chuckling a little and shaking his head.

Finally we reached the hotel. Zack pried Heather off him so he could pay the cab driver as we retrieved our bags out of the trunk.

It wasn’t as hot as I thought it would be. It was actually a bit chilly. I rubbed my free hand over my arms, trying to warm them as we walked into the hotel.

People were everywhere, gambling machine noises ringing through the entire casino. The smell of cigarette smoke and cocktails hit your nose the second you walked in the door. I followed Brian through the casino, letting my eyes take in my surroundings. I had never been in a casino before, I didn’t even know how you played half of these games, but something told me that Brian would know.

We turned a corner to meet an escalator, the slot machine sounds and cigarette smoke faded away.

When we finally reached our floor, there was a tall man and a gorgeous woman waiting for us.

“Hey guy’s what’s up.” The tall man--who I now recognized from the Halloween carnival-- began walking towards us, giving Zack and Brian one of those dude hugs. He pulled Heather into a hug as Zack and Brian hugged the gorgeous woman.

“Hey, I’m Matt.” Tall man smiled and shook my hand. I felt myself swoon a little at his dimples. Why hadn’t I noticed them at them at the carnival?

“Hi, I’m Nicole.” I smiled back politely, shaking his huge hand. I noticed that he had tattoos up and down his arms like Brian. I didn’t remember seeing those either. He smiled at me for a few more seconds and stared at me intently, as if trying to decode me. He shook his head a little and pulled his hand away.

“Guys, this is Jennifer.” He wrapped an arm around the beautiful girl’s waist, another dimply smile appearing on his face. Jennifer had dark brown hair and piercing green eyes. She smiled, showing perfectly straight white teeth and held out a hand.

“It’s so nice to meet you guys, Matt has told me so much about you.” Her angelic voice said before shaking each of our hands. She didn’t seem fake, which was nice. Most girls that were beautiful like her knew they were beautiful. But she seemed sweet.

Matt pointed us in the direction of our room as Zack and Heather headed to theirs.

“Make sure you’re ready at 7:30 so we can go to dinner and hit some clubs.” Matt said to Brian as I tried carrying both our suitcases down the hallway.

I was almost around the corner when I felt a weight being lifted off me.

Brian was now by my side, pulling my suitcase, once again, from my hand. I groaned a little and smacked his arm, but let him carry it down the rest of the hallway.

We stood in front of our room. Number 837. Brian set down the suitcase, pulling the key that Matt had given him out of his pocket. He slid it in the door, then yanked it back out when the green light flashed, signaling that the key worked. He turned the knob and pushed open the door.

I gaped. The room was beautiful. It was bigger than my apartment. I set Brian’s suitcase by the door and began exploring the hotel room. There was a cute little living room space that contained a white leather couch, a love seat and a flat screen. To the left through an open doorway there was the bedroom.

The walls were a light brown color and the bed looked so fluffy I was just dying to lay on it. I clicked on the lights, illuminating the rest of the room. On the far side of the room and entire glass window sat where a wall should’ve been. I walked over to the window, my jaw still hanging open. You could see down the entire strip.

I turned and decided to see it if the bed was truly as fluffy as it looked. I flopped down on it, smiling a little to myself. It was like laying on a cloud. I closed my eyes, trying to take it all in. We hadn’t even been in Vegas for an hour and I already felt relaxed.

I felt the bed shift and opened my eyes to see Brian hovering over me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling up at him.

“This is beautiful.”

He nodded. “I know, Matt chose a good room.” He chuckled and planted a soft kiss on my lips as my fingers entangled themselves in his hair.

He pulled away after a few moments.

"Welcome to Vegas Minnie Mouse."