Ten Things I Hate About Alex Gaskarth

The party was in full swing.

Too bad I wasn't enjoying any of it.

A beer was clutched in my hand, making my skin feel a tad numb, but I wasn't paying attention to the fact that ice was creeping over my fingers and palm. I was desperately looking around. And what was I looking for? I had no idea.

I could see Leila from where I was, her figure swinging around the on the dance floor as a Britney Spears song played overhead. I don't even like Britney Spears.

I blow out a breath just as I hear someone come up behind me. "Enjoying yourself?"

I jump a tad, spinning around. I felt my heart clamoring in my chest in...anticipation? Hope? Almost as if I was expecting the person I wanted to be standing behind me. But it wasn't Alex. Instead, it was Jack, wearing a black beanie and smiling at me with an annoying five o'clock shadow. I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Which, in turn, pissed me off, so I force a grin over my lips. "Sure," I reply, sipping at my lager. "I don't know a whole lot of people here, so I've stayed off to the side lines."

"You don't even know the majority of the guests at your birthday party?"

I shrug, feeling another twinge of anger seeing Zack and Rian at the bar, but no Alex in sight. "Leila invited a bunch of people I used to talk to in high school, but all of them are people I either didn't like, or just talked to because they were in one of my classes." I had to practically scream for him to hear me; it seemed the DJ that had been hooked up in front of the dance floor was turning the music up to 100 volume.

"Hm, sounds boring," Jack shrugs, leaning back against the table that was behind him. I do the same, setting my now-room temperature beer on the surface. "Have you talked to Alex lately?"

My breath catches in my throat.

In all honesty, I haven't.

Yesterday, when Leila and I were putting the finishing touches on my party when she excused herself to go call someone. She was gone for about ten minutes before she came back, her face angry and her tone sharp.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she had growled, throwing her phone down so hard that it clattered to the floor. "I'm fucking shocked. Are you a fucking bitch or what?"

"What?" I had asked. "What did I do?"

Then she proceeded to lecture me about everything I had done over the past couple of weeks. Everything I said or thought about Alex, how I used excuses to ignore him, how I lied about not liking him, and then, to my dismay, how Alex and I had sex and then how I ran the next morning. I didn't know how she found out about that, but she yelled and spit until she was purple in the face, before telling me I better show up at my own party and stomping out of my apartment.

Let's just say that I cried myself to sleep that night.

"No," I answer Jack, coming back to reality. "Uhm, I haven't had the time."

He stared at me for a few moments before shaking his head. "We both know that isn't true," he replies, his voice soft, but I still heard him. "You've just been avoiding him."

I open my mouth to protest, but the look on his face made my jaw snap shut.

"I have," I admit. "I can't...I can't be with him Jack. After what he did to me? No one forgives something like that so easily. Who's to say he won't humiliate me again? Who's to say he won't break up with me in public and confess he's a cheating ass?" I clench my fists, exhaling loudly. "Just thinking about what he did to me at Prom gets me all worked up."

"Because you haven't forgiven him yet," Jack points out, shrugging his lean shoulders. "Maybe if you come to terms with the fact that that's in the past and this is the present," he leans closer, "then maybe you two can have a future."

I didn't know how to respond, but Jack was walking away before I could come up with one.

I groan out lightly, abandoning my beer as I walk toward the dance floor. "Hey!" I call, grabbing hold of a random guy's arm. "Wanna dance?"

The guys smiles down at me, nodding. "Sure."

I didn't even know who he was, not an ounce of recognition hitting me upon looking at him, but he was cute and really knew how to dance. So I place my hips against his and let all worries float away as the song changes to a great dance beat.

Alex—

"Gaskarth!"

I turn around, a lump forming in my throat. But it wasn't her. I don't know why I thought it would be. It was Leila running toward me, a bottle of vodka in hand.

"Drunk?" I ask her, laughing as I gesture to the alcohol. The laugh sounded fake and forced even to my own ears, but Leila didn't seem to notice. "I know it's a party, but you don't need to drink like your a lush."

She shrugs. "This is to restock the bar. Have you found Ana yet?"

I swallow, knowing that's why Leila wanted to talk. "No."

She groans. "Fuck. Okay. You guys need to talk. Jack and I agreed on it. This has to end between you two." She takes a swig of the vodka. So much for restocking.

I nod as she stumbles away, confused over that short conversation. But I agreed with her and Jack; I wanted to talk to Anastasia. I didn't know what was going on in her head and I wanted to find out what was. With that done in my head, I pull my hands out of the pockets of my leather jacket and get on my tip-toes, peering around the hundreds of heads to search for her. When I couldn't find her, I move away from the large groups of people, gazing around to search for her at a better vantage point.

I get up on a chair, my eyes sweeping over the clumps of people, trying to pick out her familiar face. But I was having no such luck. "Fuck," I groan out, hopping down off the chair and wandering toward the bar.

"Zack!" I call out, stopping beside said man. "Have you seen Ana?"

"I thought I saw her over there," he gestures toward a corner where one lone table stood, an abandoned beer perched on the surface. "She was talking to Jack. She may not have wandered too far." I thank him and jog over, looking around the area for any indication as to where she could have gone.

But all I found was the perspired beer.

I exhale and turn around toward the dance floor. And what I saw made my chest burst in anger and jealousy and many other emotions.

Her head throws back in laughter as she danced with some unfamiliar guy, her hips moving against his to the beat of the song playing. My spit got caught in my throat as I watch his hand find her waist and grab on tight, as if huddling her closer to him. I had to inhale through my nose deeply and un-clench my fists to keep myself from going over there.

She's moved on.

"Maybe it's time I do too," I whisper.

As I give them one last glance, Anastasia looks over as well, her eyes widening at the sight of me staring at her. My own gaze narrows before I push people out of the way on my quest towards the door, the sound of her voice calling my name meeting my ears but going unacknowledged.

Anastasia—

"Shit," I curse, pushing away from the guy I was dancing with. He gives me a look of puzzlement, which I ignore as I look around desperately.

The sight of the stage where the DJ was set up made me grin anxiously. I run over, tell him to cut off the music, which he does, and everyone looks over at the stage in anger that the beat had stopped. I ignore this, grabbing the microphone the DJ had been using.

"Alex!"

He stopped dead as his name echoed around the deadly silent club.

He slowly turned, his gaze enlargening when he sees me standing onstage, in front of God and everyone, calling him out specifically. It took me a few seconds to realize that all eyes were on me, and I was once again reminded of Prom. That same breathless feeling sweeps over me and my face begins to turn steadily red.

"Whoo!" someone calls out from the audience, and many people turn to see who it was. It was Leila. "You go, Ana! YOU PROCLAIM YOUR LOVE FOR HIM!"

I clear my throat, the sound reverberating over the loud speaker.

"Uhm," I start, my mouth going dry. I felt like I had just gulped down five cotton balls. "Alex..." No one was helping me. I had to do this by myself. "Alex, I've liked you sing freshman year of high school."

No one said anything. There was a small cough, but all I cared was that Alex was listening and staring at me, his face expression shocked.

"I never said anything, or wanted to say anything, because I was afraid. And...if I have to be brutally honest...I still am afraid." His gaze softens. "And I don't want you to walk out on my life." This confession surprised not only me, but many people, judging by the gasp that rang out. "When high school ended and I knew we would never have to see each other again, I was happy. You embarrassed me and it was a grudge I felt that I would hold forever."

A flash of guilt appears on his face, but I ignore it.

"But I've forgiven you," I smile, and he smiles back from across the club. "And I'm sorry for making you feel like shit and telling you to your face that you are an asshole. Multiple times." I hear chuckles. "And yes, you can be an asshole, but I can be an asshole too. And that's what I was when I ran out that morning after we had sex." That was something big to say, and I knew it, but I ignore all the whispers and murmurs that rise up. "I regret it. Because like someone told me recently, if I don't learn to forgive and forget the past and present, and I'll never be able to have a future." I swallow as tears thicken my throat. "With you."

"Awww!" I laugh lightly at this sound, wiping as a tear trickles down my cheek. Alex was moving through the crowd now, getting closer and closer to the stage.

"What I'm really trying to say, Alex," I continue as he comes up to the stairs leading on to the stage, "is that I'm in love with you. Completely, head over heels, so far in love with you that it terrifies me. And I never wanted to admit it because I was afraid something like Prom would happen again. But now I know you're truly sorry for it."

A grin reaches his lips as she stops beside me, staring down at my tear stained face.

"I love you, Alex Gaskarth."

His lips couldn't have stretched any farther.

"And I love you, Anastasia Tate."

The microphone falls from my hands as his arms go around my waist, pulling me into him, and connecting our lips. An eruption of applause and cheers and wolf whistles greets us as we kiss, my heart pounding in time with his as our chests press together.

We pull back, our foreheads falling against each other. "That guy I was dancing with means nothing," I breathe, trying to find air. "But you mean something."

He grins. "Good. Because we have a lot to discuss."

I laugh as we kiss again, his arms flexing to swing me around in a circle.