Status: Under Maintenance! So stay posted! <3
Sorry, I Love Him
I'm Sorry That We're Closer Now
It's been two months since Jon and I "started over." We started this in August and it is now October.
We decided it was best to be friends at the moment, because things we're going too, fast too soon. Also, he wasn't sure about his sexuality.
He doesn't want to be with me until he comes to terms with it. I don't blame him. I remember when I first started realizing I liked guys was in 2rd Grade when I kissed one of my male classmates. My teacher had called my parents about that and They just blew it off as one of those "accidents" that little kids do. They tried explaining to a grade schooler that "God hates gays" and that unless I want to "burn in he'll for all eternity", I was to never to do anything like that with a boy again.
It wasn't until my 7th Grade gym class that I knew I was gay after I got a boner after seeing some of the guys in the shower. Thank God I was able to finish up and get dressed quickly enough without having anyone notice my "little problem." Him becoming my boyfriend was just the bittersweet icing in the cake.
I'm actually happy that we're taking things slow, even though he admitted that he has feelings for me. Which, I have to admit, makes me happy too.
It gives me time to think how far I want to go with Jon. I sort of feel like I already let him get too close for comfort and that I'm in too deep to back out now. I have no idea what to think about Jon. He's pretty much everything I've ever wanted, but there's the possibility that he'll hurt me. I'm not saying I'm in love with him, but if one day I fall for him, I don't want to be the only one falling.
I've been there before and I don't think I go through that again. I barely survived the last time. The only reason I went through that was because of him.
Love. It can make you feel the heaviest highs. Some people think it's just a four letter word to fill the gap between "I" and "you", but so is hate.
Anyways, our friendship has really blossomed. I've learned a lot of things about Jon.
Such as:
1.)His favorite color is blue.
2.)He can play guitar AND sing.
3.)His favorite band is A Day to Remember.
4.)He's a dog person.
5.)He's the track, football, baseball, AND basketball captain.
6.)He's Junior Class President
7.)Overall, he's perfect.
Now me:
1.)I can't choose a favorite color.
2.)I can play piano but I can't sing.
3.)I can't choose a favorite band.
4.)I'm a cat person.
5.)I can't play sports to save my life.
6.)I've never been a president of anything
7.)I'm nothing close to perfect.
Aren't we an odd pair?
Well, that's life for you. Taking "opposites attract" way too literal.
Maxine and Alexis also sort of read me the riot act for not telling them about me and Jon kissing.
It was the day after Jon and I had gone cliff-diving at lunch. They had been mad-dogging me and Jon all morning. Good thing Jon drove me to school that day or else I would've heard it earlier from Maxine.
"Where the hell were you yesterday! You left me with her.", Maxine said, referring to Alexis.
"Look who's talking! You're incessant complaining about how Toby left was torture! You obviously have not heard yourself bitch.", Alexis retorted.
"I don't bitch! There's a difference between bitching and being concerned about your friend, who I might add, ditched his friends yesterday for a hot date with his boyfriend."
Alexis replied in a sing-song voice, "Indenial."
"As I was saying, what the fuck? You went AWOL on us!", Maxine said, returning the conversation to me.
"And why didn't you tell us that you kissed Jon?", Alexis added.
I pretty much lunged at her and covered her mouth.
"Shush! You're talking too loud.", I told them both.
Alexis just stuck out her tongue and licked my hand.
"Gross!", I exclaimed. "Do you have any idea where my hand's been?", I asked as I wiped my hand on my jeans.
Her eyes widened as she got the napkin from my tray and started wiping her tongue with it. Maxine just laughed.
"You're gross Toby!", Alexis said after she finished disinfecting her tongue.
"Serves you right! Anyways, he's not my boyfriend. We decided it's best to be friends and give it time.", I replied. "And yes, we did kiss. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't think I had to tell my friends what I do with my mouth."
"Say no more.", they replied in unison.
"But what happened yesterday? Where'd you go?", Alexis asked.
"If you really must know, me and Jon went out to lunch. Then we went cliff-diving at 'Dead Man's Bluff'".
They both looked at each other, then at me. Suddenly, they started laughing.
"What's so funny?", I asked them.
"We're sorry, it's just you-", Alexis started.
"-went cliff-diving!", Maxine finished. Then they started laughing again.
"if you're going to make fun of me, I'm leaving.", I said as I picked up my tray.
"No no no! Sit down. Sorry Toby.", Maxine apologized.
"It's just, who knew there was a dare-devil inside if you.", Alexis said.
"Is that all that happened?", Maxine asked.
I just felt my cheeks get hotter and said, "No. We kissed. But that's when we agreed that things were going too fast and that we're better off as friends at the moment."
"'At the moment'? But what about everything that happened with G-", I cut off Maxine before she could finish.
"I swear, if you say his name, I will disown you as my best friend.", I said, deadpan.
"Say it! Say it! SAY IT!!", Alexis exclaimed.
At least we're in October now and my favorite holiday is in three days.
Don't you just love Halloween? You get to pretend to be someone else for a night and hide behind a mask, no questions asked. Plus, FREE CANDY! Who doesn't like that? But then again, I'm not allowed near sugar or caffeine...
A senior was apparently throwing a costume party Halloween night. Jon, Colt, Max, and Lexi were going. So I guess I am too. It sucks that it's on a school night. Let's see how that goes.
We decided it was best to be friends at the moment, because things we're going too, fast too soon. Also, he wasn't sure about his sexuality.
He doesn't want to be with me until he comes to terms with it. I don't blame him. I remember when I first started realizing I liked guys was in 2rd Grade when I kissed one of my male classmates. My teacher had called my parents about that and They just blew it off as one of those "accidents" that little kids do. They tried explaining to a grade schooler that "God hates gays" and that unless I want to "burn in he'll for all eternity", I was to never to do anything like that with a boy again.
It wasn't until my 7th Grade gym class that I knew I was gay after I got a boner after seeing some of the guys in the shower. Thank God I was able to finish up and get dressed quickly enough without having anyone notice my "little problem." Him becoming my boyfriend was just the bittersweet icing in the cake.
I'm actually happy that we're taking things slow, even though he admitted that he has feelings for me. Which, I have to admit, makes me happy too.
It gives me time to think how far I want to go with Jon. I sort of feel like I already let him get too close for comfort and that I'm in too deep to back out now. I have no idea what to think about Jon. He's pretty much everything I've ever wanted, but there's the possibility that he'll hurt me. I'm not saying I'm in love with him, but if one day I fall for him, I don't want to be the only one falling.
I've been there before and I don't think I go through that again. I barely survived the last time. The only reason I went through that was because of him.
Love. It can make you feel the heaviest highs. Some people think it's just a four letter word to fill the gap between "I" and "you", but so is hate.
Anyways, our friendship has really blossomed. I've learned a lot of things about Jon.
Such as:
1.)His favorite color is blue.
2.)He can play guitar AND sing.
3.)His favorite band is A Day to Remember.
4.)He's a dog person.
5.)He's the track, football, baseball, AND basketball captain.
6.)He's Junior Class President
7.)Overall, he's perfect.
Now me:
1.)I can't choose a favorite color.
2.)I can play piano but I can't sing.
3.)I can't choose a favorite band.
4.)I'm a cat person.
5.)I can't play sports to save my life.
6.)I've never been a president of anything
7.)I'm nothing close to perfect.
Aren't we an odd pair?
Well, that's life for you. Taking "opposites attract" way too literal.
Maxine and Alexis also sort of read me the riot act for not telling them about me and Jon kissing.
It was the day after Jon and I had gone cliff-diving at lunch. They had been mad-dogging me and Jon all morning. Good thing Jon drove me to school that day or else I would've heard it earlier from Maxine.
"Where the hell were you yesterday! You left me with her.", Maxine said, referring to Alexis.
"Look who's talking! You're incessant complaining about how Toby left was torture! You obviously have not heard yourself bitch.", Alexis retorted.
"I don't bitch! There's a difference between bitching and being concerned about your friend, who I might add, ditched his friends yesterday for a hot date with his boyfriend."
Alexis replied in a sing-song voice, "Indenial."
"As I was saying, what the fuck? You went AWOL on us!", Maxine said, returning the conversation to me.
"And why didn't you tell us that you kissed Jon?", Alexis added.
I pretty much lunged at her and covered her mouth.
"Shush! You're talking too loud.", I told them both.
Alexis just stuck out her tongue and licked my hand.
"Gross!", I exclaimed. "Do you have any idea where my hand's been?", I asked as I wiped my hand on my jeans.
Her eyes widened as she got the napkin from my tray and started wiping her tongue with it. Maxine just laughed.
"You're gross Toby!", Alexis said after she finished disinfecting her tongue.
"Serves you right! Anyways, he's not my boyfriend. We decided it's best to be friends and give it time.", I replied. "And yes, we did kiss. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't think I had to tell my friends what I do with my mouth."
"Say no more.", they replied in unison.
"But what happened yesterday? Where'd you go?", Alexis asked.
"If you really must know, me and Jon went out to lunch. Then we went cliff-diving at 'Dead Man's Bluff'".
They both looked at each other, then at me. Suddenly, they started laughing.
"What's so funny?", I asked them.
"We're sorry, it's just you-", Alexis started.
"-went cliff-diving!", Maxine finished. Then they started laughing again.
"if you're going to make fun of me, I'm leaving.", I said as I picked up my tray.
"No no no! Sit down. Sorry Toby.", Maxine apologized.
"It's just, who knew there was a dare-devil inside if you.", Alexis said.
"Is that all that happened?", Maxine asked.
I just felt my cheeks get hotter and said, "No. We kissed. But that's when we agreed that things were going too fast and that we're better off as friends at the moment."
"'At the moment'? But what about everything that happened with G-", I cut off Maxine before she could finish.
"I swear, if you say his name, I will disown you as my best friend.", I said, deadpan.
"Say it! Say it! SAY IT!!", Alexis exclaimed.
At least we're in October now and my favorite holiday is in three days.
Don't you just love Halloween? You get to pretend to be someone else for a night and hide behind a mask, no questions asked. Plus, FREE CANDY! Who doesn't like that? But then again, I'm not allowed near sugar or caffeine...
A senior was apparently throwing a costume party Halloween night. Jon, Colt, Max, and Lexi were going. So I guess I am too. It sucks that it's on a school night. Let's see how that goes.
♠ ♠ ♠
thanks to all the readers, critics, and subscribers!I meant to post this up earlier but a freak accident happened during breakfast. Our glass dining table suddenly broke for some reason and my legs were under it when it happened, so I had shards protruding from my legs. I'm fine, nothing serious. A couple of cuts here and there but I'll survive ^^
Anyways, COMMENT, RATE, & SUBSCRIBE!
Question:
What's you favorite holiday?