Blessed With a Mess

Ben's hand ran through my hair as I cuddled into his side. Where did this bring our relationship, I had no idea. We just had sex. Rough, hard, loving and unforgivable sex. He was holding my naked body close to him, holding me affectionately. I should love this.

But I didn't. I felt bad. I didn't feel bad about what we had just done because, hell, we've had sex loads of times, but I felt bad for James. He was the sweetest person I know and on the day him and I were supposed to go on a date, I slept with Ben.

I felt dirty, like I did James wrong.

Slowly, I peeled the covers off my body and got out of the bed. I walked to the dresser and grabbed a nice pair of jeans and a shirt out before I started getting dressed.

"Where yeh goin'?" Ben asked.

I looked over to him and frowned. He looked so hurt and alone. "Out," I said simply avoiding where and with whom.

"I know we're not datin' or anyfing, but yeh could've stayed... unless yeh regret doin' that. Do yeh regret it?"

I sighed and leaned against the dresser. "No, but it was wrong regardless."

"Why?"

"Because," I groaned, going over and pulling my combat boots on.

"What are yeh hidin'?"

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"I've known yeh practically my whole fuckin' life, dated yeh three of those years and lived wiff yeh fo' nearly two. I know when yeh lyin'." Ben snapped, crawling out of the bed and pulling on his boxers.

"Oh, so now you remember all these things but not our anniversary. Good to know."

"Cut the shit Olivia. Where yeh goin'?"

"On a fucking date. Is that okay with you, dad?"

"A date? With who?"

"Fuck off," I mumbled, ruffling my hands through my hair and grabbing my phone.

"What, I can't know who?"

I ignored him and grabbed a jacket.

"Hold on, let me guess. Daren? Jake? Wait... wait a second... Are yeh goin' on a date wiff James?"

I looked down and pushed passed him, walking as quickly as I could to the door.

"Oh my god, yeh are! Yeh goin' on a fuckin' date wiff my drummah! I can't believe yeh!"

"Why?" I finally yelled back. "Why are you so shocked? He treats me way better than you ever did!"

"That's a lie and yeh know it!"

"Is it really?" I shouted.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeh un-fucking-believable."

"Yea, why's that?"

"Yeh sleep wiff me and go on a date wiff practically one of my closest mates? Some slag yeh are."

"Fuck you, Ben Bruce!" I yelled, slamming the front door in his face. I took a deep breath and walked to the car, slamming the door when I got in. "Fuck you Ben Bruce," I muttered again. "Fuck you and your feelings."

I sighed, turning on the car and heading to James'. As much as I didn't want it to happen, Ben's words began eating me alive. Was he right?