Billet

I awoke the next morning on a couch inside of Chad’s house. It took me a few minutes to realize where I was but soon memories from the night before clouded my brain and a smile appeared on my face. But it quickly faded when I felt the pounding in my head. I was currently at that awkward transition between still being drunk and having a killer hangover. It looked like I was the first one to wake up, judging by the silence and the other bodies passed out throughout the house. I stumbled around as quickly as possible searching for my purse. I knew I had left myself a bottle of Aspirin in there and I was in desperate need of it. When I had finally found it, tossed upstairs, I quickly dry-swallowed the tablet and made my way back downstairs. I would’ve just left, but I still felt the effects of the alcohol in my system and knew it definitely wasn’t a good option. So instead, I wandered around the house, but was disappointed to see that, as expected, no one else was awake for me to chat with. I wandered into the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of water, proceeding to down it.

Quickly, an aching grew in the pit of my stomach. Although I was happy that Levi and I had sorted out our miscommunication, I still felt uneasy. I can understand that he would’ve felt betrayed, but I still didn’t think that it justified his actions. The past few weeks had been hell for me; made that way largely because of his piercing words, cold attitude and confusing actions. The pit in my stomach grew to be a tightness in my chest and I started feeling antsy. I put my glass in the dishwasher and quickly searched the house for Easton. I had to get out of here, and I could only hope that he was completely sobered up. After a few minutes I remembered seeing him upstairs, so I jogged up the steps and quickly found him on a bed in a spare room. There were a few other bodies scattered throughout the room.

“Eas,” I whisper yelled, “Easton wake up.”

Groggily, he did so, rubbing at his eyes, “Huh,” he mumbled, “Tier, what’s going on?”
“How are you feeling?!” I asked, anxiety clear in my voice.
It was obvious he could sense it, and seemed to clear himself of the sleepiness quickly. He sat up and turned the question back at me, “How are you?”
I just shook my head. As far as I could remember, Easton wasn’t aware of the previous night’s events with Levi and I really didn’t want to go through this here. “Are you sobered up? Can we please go? We can talk then.” He jumped to his feet and we made our way downstairs and out of the house. By the rising sun, I figured it must have only been somewhere around 7:30.

I tossed him my keys as we approached my car, “I’m still feeling a little bit drunk.” I laughed, almost sadistically, to myself. How did I ever get to the point of still being drunk the morning after? I really did need to figure things out. ASAP.

Once we were in the car, he asked me where we should go and I suggested Pattie’s Diner, so we could have breakfast. Easton nodded and drove the ten minutes to the restaurant.

After we placed our orders, an omelet for him and a yogurt and fruit parfait for myself, he stared at me intently, waiting for me to tell him what had happened.

“Last night, I bumped into Levi when I went to get some air outside and I- I kissed him.” Easton raised his eyebrows, shocked, but stayed quiet, allowing me to continue. “It took me until last night to realize that I have feeling for him. So anyways, I kissed him and he kissed me back but then he pushed me away and I started running. And then he grabbed my arm and starting saying all these things about me leading him on and then I realized this whole time he’s been thinking I was dating Cory. I explained that Cory was just my friend and then we kinda made up and hugged. And that’s all I remember.” I frowned to myself, realizing I couldn’t recall the remainder of the night. I just hoped that it went smoothly and I didn’t do anything I’d regret.
“Okay...so the problem is...? I feel like that worked out?” He stated, confusion evident in his voice.

Our conversation was interrupted as Pattie placed our drinks in front of us. I was thankful, not only for a drink to try and cure this worsening hangover, but for a second to formulate my thoughts.

“But it’s just how he acted over the past month or whatever. Like if he could just snap on me for that, without even asking or clarifying or anything,” I rambled, “I just don’t know if I can really trust him enough to pursue anything with him. And hell, I don’t even know what he wants. But it just worries me. Oh, and remember back a little while ago? We kinda punched each other to try and sort out our problems,” I added as an afterthought, “I feel like that’s not a healthy way to start a relationship.”
Easton looked me right in the eye, “Tierney, calm down. You really need to just sit down and talk to him about this. This is the kind of stuff you need to work out together. All I can say here is I know that Levi’s been a great guy for the vast majority of the time I’ve known him and he must have just felt really betrayed. It’s your choice, but I think it’s worth a try. You two would be good together.”

And we sat, mostly in silence for the remainder of breakfast. I continued to ponder about the night before in hope of figuring out my next move.

In the early afternoon, I received a text from Levi. He must have just woken up and saw that I had already left.

Levi: Tierney, we need to talk

But I chose to temporarily avoid the text. I still hadn’t worked through this enough in my mind and didn’t feel right responding without being sure of myself.

Levi: Tier, please don’t ignore me. I need to talk to you

But I chose to ignore that as well.

My day was split between school work and contemplating my relationship with Levi. At this point, I didn’t even know what I wanted and I needed to make sure going into a talk with him that I already knew what would be best for me going forward.

Later in the day, I finally felt content with my answer and I replied to his previous text messages.

Tierney: Meet me at Chéri’s...8?

Levi replied with a thumbs up emoji, indicating that that worked for him.

After my family had dinner, I tried to freshen up, putting on nicer clothes and a touch of make-up. I told my family where I was going, but only Easton greeted me with a knowing look. My parents, not knowing what went on between us – only that he hasn’t been around recently, were excited for us to spend some time together.

When I arrived at the ice cream shop at 8, Levi as already sitting inside with two sundaes in front of him. I grinned, sitting down across from him as I realized that a chocolate brownie dessert was set in front me. He had remembered that it was my favourite.

We ate in silence until Levi blurted out, “What are we?”
“Right now,” I replied, looking up to meet his intent stare, “I don’t know.” I took in a deep breath before speaking, “But if you’re up for it, I’d love to see what we could become.” His hesitant stare turned into a smile as he listened to me speak. “I’m sorry I bailed this morning but I just needed some time. Last night was just kind of overwhelming and this whole thing is just a big transition, ya know?”
He nodded, his smile faltering. “And I just really need to apologize for how I acted over the past few weeks. I hope you know that that’s not who I really am and that you can give me the opportunity to continue showing you that.” I nodded, a soft smile on my face. After a few moments of silence, Levi spoke again, “So are we going to try this out? For real?”
“I’m up for it if you are,” I replied, nibbling on my bottom lip. It was something I had found myself doing often, as my nerves grew.
A grin spread across his face as he reached across the table and laced my fingers in his own. “There’s no way I could say no to that offer.”

We spoke for another hour or two. Some of our conversation was random chatter; catching up and making up for missed time. The other portion was figuring out the logistics of our blossoming relationship. Or at least our attempt at one. We worked as friends, but had no idea how we would work as a couple. It would be a strange, and likely awkward, transition so we wanted to take it slowly; ease ourselves into it if you will. But no matter where our conversation went, I couldn’t take the smile off of my face throughout the whole evening. I couldn’t wait to embark on this new adventure.

Eventually, we decided to call it a night and head home. Levi and I walked out to the parking lot but just as we were about to split up and head to our respective cars, he called my name and took a step, closing the gap between us. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his torso. I leaned my head on his chest. We held each other in an embrace for a moment before he kissed my forehead and let me go.

We bid each other goodnight and I walked to my car.

The entire way home, I listened to Passion Pit, singing along to the uplifting music and laughing when “It’s Not My Fault, I’m Happy” started playing. It’s message of alternating depression and mania seemed to resonate with my recent situation; my life had suddenly been filled with very high highs and very low lows. But it finally seemed to be getting back on track, with Levi and I sorting out our issues. Now it was a matter of focusing on hockey and mending things with Cory. My mind continued to wander as I drove the familiar route home, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel. I had a permanent smile on my face, and even the thoughts about hockey and Cory couldn’t take it off my face.

Once I arrived home, still sitting inside of my car in the driveway, I called Amanda and told her to come over. It was only 10 on a Saturday night and I knew it was a rare evening that she didn’t have plans. She picked up after the first ring.

I kept it simple, only telling her, “Get your ass over here now. I’ve got stuff to tell you.”

I made my way into the house. From the sounds of it, my parents were in the living room watching a movie of some sort, so I called “Hello” before making my way upstairs. I tossed my bag onto my bed before making my way over to Easton’s room. Earlier in the day, he said that he didn’t have any plans for the night so I assumed that he would be around. I knocked at his door and he quickly replied, telling me to come in. His nervous grin quickly turned into a full-on beam as he saw the matching smile on my face.

“Things went well I assume?” He asked.
“Come into my room. Amanda should be here in 10 and then I can tell you both all about it.”

I spent the remainder of the night with Easton and Amanda, cooped up in my bedroom. I caught them up on the evening’s events (in addition to the previous evening for Amanda) and we had a night full of chatter, laughs and good company. It suddenly felt like my life was beginning to get back on track.

I guess what they say is true: it’s always darkest before dawn.