That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs

”Jimmy, what do I do? What should I do?” I mumbled in horror.

I'd let Jimmy into our bedroom. And he was standing in the doorway, looking at me, his wife who had no pants nor panties on and was freaking out.
”I'm going to go get your mom,” he said slowly and disappeared. I started sobbing as I sat down on the bed. I didn't even care if it got all wet because of me.

I wasn't ready for it. I knew that once I went to the hospital, there was no coming back without a baby. And oh my god, I didn't even have my baby bag yet! I had nothing for the baby. I mean, sure, we had clothes and all that stuff but I didn't have that bag that women take with them when they go give birth! Shit!

Mom and Jimmy had rushed up, back into our bedroom. They both froze in the doorway and looked at me.

I was crying. A lot.

Mom rushed to me and pulled me into a hug and I sobbed against her chest.

”I don't want to do this,” I mumbled through sniffles.

”Honey, calm down. Just take a deep breath in. I will go and get the car while Jimmy gets you ready, okay?” Mom was speaking slowly. I nodded.

Gosh, I was pathetic.

Then mom left and Jimmy took her spot. He was holding me tightly while I tried to pull myself together.

”Are you ready to go?” he whispered and held my face between his hands. I shook my head.

He gave me a soft smile and wiped away the tears.

”We can do this. It's a bit too late to back away now,” he said and laughed.

”If you laugh one more time I'll hit you,” I mumbled. He tried to stop smiling but I could tell he was amused.

”Fine, okay, I won't laugh. Now, let's go get a baby,” he said and pulled me up to my feet. He went to the closet and took out a pair of horrible looking pajama pants.

”I'm not putting those on,” I mumbled and shook my head as he tried to hand them to me.

”What do you mean, no? What does it matter what you wear?”

”I don't want to look stupid in public.”

”Of for fucks sake, Rachel.”

Then he went through the closet again and handed me a pair of his black basketball shorts.

”Good enough?” he asked as I grabbed them from him. I rolled my eyes and pulled them on.

”Now, give me a towel,” I muttered.

”Why do you need a towel?”

”If you didn't already notice, my vagina is soaking!”

When we got to the hospital, I was very much in pain already. By that time Jimmy was freaking out because I wouldn't stop crying and moaning in pain. He didn't know what to do to make me feel better.

He never let go of my hand, not until my mom told him to get out because he had to calm down and have a smoke.

So Jimmy went out while mom stayed with me. The hospital had called my doctor, Dr. Berry, who was on her way there. Which meant that I would have to hold the baby in until she got there.

At one point I started throwing up because I was in so much pain. Mom never once left my side and I would have to thank her later for that.

And when Jimmy came back, he only came there to tell me that he couldn't do it. He couldn't watch as a baby came out of there, even though he had only earlier that day told me that he wouldn't miss it. Coward.

”Jimmy, you know how much I like you and I completely understand if you feel like you can't be here. But this is my daughter that is about to give birth to your child. Wouldn't you feel bad if you weren't here, seeing it?” mom asked Jimmy who was absolutely speechless for the first time in his life.

He stood in the doorway, mom sat on a chair while I was laying on the bed, not really caring about them. It wasn't the end of the world if Jimmy wasn't there, right?

”You're trying to make me feel bad,” Jimmy told my mom. She shrugged.

”Is there anything I wouldn't do for Rachel?” she asked him, ”Is there anything you wouldn't do for her?”

”Fine, whatever. I'll be here if it makes you feel better,” Jimmy said. Mom gave him a smile and stood up. She started walking to the door.

”I'm going to go call Becky and tell her what's going on. And your mother, too, Jimmy,” she said and patted his shoulder before leaving.

Jimmy took a few steps closer to me. He looked like he was afraid to even touch me.

”You know, you don't have to be so far away,” I mumbled.

”Well, I've seen pictures of women in labour and I know what it looks like. Fuck, I'm beyond terrified of seeing that,” he mumbled quietly and shook his head. He kept staring out of the window.

”Why did you only realize that now?”

”I called Zacky, told him what's going on...”

”Mmhm.”

”Yeah...”

”Just go away if you don't want to be here. I don't want you to feel like you have to be here because you really don't,” I mumbled.

”I'm not going anywhere.”

”I want you to go. I don't want you to stay here if you don't feel like it.”

”I can just look away when it comes,” he said with a shrug.

”Yeah, whatever,” I mumbled and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath in.

After a few hours, nothing had happened. I was still in pain and to be honest with you, I just wanted the baby out. I wanted it to be over and I wanted to go home. I'd been trying to sleep a bit but I was having a hard time keeping my eyes closed because of Jimmy. Zacky had come over to the hospital with his wife, Gena, and they had brought Jimmy some magazines about babies. Jimmy had been looking through them for the past hours. Everytime he saw something disgusting or weird, he had to show me what it was, and yell, ”Shit, that's just gross!” I was starting to get annoyed.

My doctor had arrived and she had asked me all sorts of things and then she'd taken a look at my private parts. Jimmy had looked away and I'd hit him. Then she'd told me that she would be back after a few hours because the baby wouldn't come out yet.

”How long does this take?” Jimmy mumbled.

He was really bored, I could tell. He was laying on the floor next to my bed. He had a pillow under his head and he was looking at me.

”I don't know. Stop asking stupid questions,” I told him.

”Stop giving me stupid answers.”

”Stop being so annoying and immature.”

”Stop holding my child in and let it come out.”

”Stop being such an idiot.”

”How about you both stop being such kids and shut the fuck up?” It was my sister, Rebecca.

She was standing in the doorway, glaring at us.

”Well hello to you, too!” Jimmy exclaimed and sat up, ”Finally someone came. It was starting to get really boring here.”

”Shut up!” I mumbled and smacked his head.

”I thought you were having a baby,” Becky told me.

”I was. I am. It's just not coming out,” I said with a shrug.

”Uh huh...”

”So, what's up?” I asked and tried to change the subject. Obviously no one understood that I couldn't just push the baby out just like that. Or maybe I could. Who knew.

”Mom called and asked me to come over. She had to go back to the bakery. The Robinsons wanted to have a meeting with her,” she told me.

”What, now? Now that I'm in the hospital?”

”How would they know about it?”

”Well, yeah, I don't know...” I mumbled and sighed.

A few minutes later it started. And by starting I meant that the baby was finally coming out. I was freaking out the whole time and couldn't understand what people around me told me or did. I was just in my own little world, trying to get the baby out safe and okay. And oh my god, when it came out, it was the most disgusting thing ever. Okay, I mean, it was amazing in its own way but, you know... I definitely was acting like a teenager and not an adult.

But hey, the thing was, I had a baby now!