That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs

When I woke up, Jimmy was holding me tightly. We were laying together in the bedroom, on our bed, for the first time in weeks. It felt good, to be honest. It was a lot better and nicer than sleeping alone. Jimmy must've thought the same, too, because he was so close to me. He usually didn't even touch me when we slept. He wanted his own space.

I laid there for a moment, staring out of the window, when suddenly Jimmy's phone started ringing. I tried to turn around and wake him up but I only managed to elbow him in the stomach.

”Ow, ow, ouch!” he mumbled and groaned. I looked at him as he opened his eyes and grimaced.

”Your phone,” I mumbled.

”What?”

”Your phone. It's ringing.”

”Oh,” he mumbled and sat up. He grabbed his phone from the floor and answered.

”Uh, hello? Yeah... Yes. Yeah, yeah. Fine. Bye,” he mumbled and put the phone away. He looked at me and ruffled his hair.

”Hey, babe,” he mumbled and pinched my cheek.

”Who was it? Who called?”

”Your mom. You're going to the bakery today with the baby,” he told me and got up from the bed.

”What? No. I don't want to,” I mumbled.

”Well that's too bad. You're still going.”

”Why do you have to promise people that I'll do stuff that I don't even want to do?”

”Because if I didn't do that, you wouldn't leave this fucking house,” he said.

”I'm an adult, okay? I make my own decisions,” I muttered.

”The ones you make are the worst. This isn't all about you, Rachel, okay? Stop being so selfish. You're going to have to leave this house someday. Understood?” he was looking at me like I was his child who had done something wrong. And it annoyed me oh so very much.

”I don't need you to be like that. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do,” I mumbled and crossed my arms over my chest.

”Rachel, for fucks sake! Stop, just stop, okay? You're becoming something I can't stand so just stop. I'm going to be really fucking honest with you now, okay? I'm not sure how much longer I can or even want to be around you if you're like that. I'm a happy guy. I want a happy wife, not some miserable, crying one,” he told me. He looked straight into my eyes. It scared me a bit, to be honest with you. It made me wonder if he really would leave me.

”Leave me alone,” I whispered.

”No. Get up and take a shower. Put on your clothes. Go downstairs and spend time with your child. Eat something. Go see your mom. Go see your friends. Do something instead of nothing. And just so you know, I'm tired of acting like your parent,” he told me and pointed at me with his finger.

An hour later I found myself walking to my car. Jimmy had already put the sleeping baby in the car. After that he had forced me to leave the house. And I was forced to go to the bakery.

As I sat in the car, I was a bit scared. I had never driven a car that had a baby in it. I mean, come on, what if I got into an accident? I wouldn't only hurt myself but the baby, too. I shook the horrible thoughts off and started driving.

When I got to mom's bakery, I carefully took the baby out and held him tightly as I started walking in.

The whole place was dark, no lights were on, which surprised me as I walked in.

And then, suddenly, the lights went on and I heard shouting. I saw everyone there. Mom, my sister, dad, his new wife, Jimmy, the guys from A7X, their ladies, everyone. They were all cheering and shouting with smiles on their faces.

It scared me and I flinched so bad that I almost dropped the baby. Holy shit.

”What is going on, guys?” I mumbled. I felt dumbfound as I looked at everyone.

”Congratulations, honey!” mom chirped and pulled me into a hug.

”For what?”

”For the baby, of course!” she exclaimed.

Then she took the baby from me and someone handed me a glass of something. I took a swig. Champagne.

Jimmy walked to me, pulling me into a hug.

”I'm never leaving you, baby. Don't worry about that. I was just worried,” he murmured into my ear. He gave me a quick kiss.

”You scared me, though,” I mumbled and rubbed my face. He held my face between my hands and gave me another kiss.

”I love you,” he murmured.

”Aww, look at the happy couple!” It was Zacky. He was shouting right next to us.

”This is how it's supposed to be, guys. This is real love, I tell you,” Zacky said.

I had no idea who he was talking to because no one there really listened to him. And he seemed to be really drunk, too.

”We're a team, me and my lady,” Jimmy told him as he pulled me close to his side.

”I can tell. Now, where the fuck is my lady? Gena!” he exclaimed and disappeared into the crowd.

Jimmy started pulling me with him towards mom who was holding the baby. There were a lot of people around her, just looking at the sleeping kid.

”You made a good one,” Matt said and patted Jimmy's shoulder.

”I know. It wouldn't be mine if it wasn't good,” Jimmy said.

Everyone laughed but me. I just wanted to go home, to be honest. And don't get me wrong, I appreciated it all and the fact that they had thrown a surprise party for me and the baby. But I didn't even like surprises. I mean, sure, it was nice that people thought about me. But I would've rather been home.

”Are you going to be okay if I go and have a smoke with the guys?” Jimmy murmured into my ear. I swallowed hard.

”Yeah, sure,” I mumbled and nodded.

About ten minutes later I found myself sitting in the toilet alone. I had another glass of champagne in my hand and I was staring at the floor. I was enjoying the silence until someone knocked on the door.

”Rach? Are you there?” It was Rebecca, my sister.

”Becky, go away. I'm peeing,” I mumbled.

”Really? For ten minutes?”

”Yes, really.”

”If you don't open the door, I'm going to get Jimmy,” she told me. I rolled my eyes and got up on my feet. I walked to the door and unlocked it. I found Becky looking at me.

”What's going on? Everyone's looking for you,” she said quietly. I shrugged.

”I needed to pee, that's all,” I told her.

”Don't give me that bullshit, you liar.”

”Fine. What do you want me to say? That I wanted to be alone and miserable for a moment? Fine, okay. You know what, I'm going home,” I mumbled. She grabbed my hand before I could walk away.

”What the hell is going on with you? You've become a selfish bitch. You have a husband who's crazy about you. You've got a little baby that needs you. You have a family and friends who need you. So stop acting like this and grow up,” she told me.

”Yeah, just, blame it all on me. That's fine.”

”Yeah, you know what? You're to blame. You and no one else. If you're depressed, get help. If you're suicidal, get help. If you're miserable, get help. Just fucking do something okay?”

”Fine. I'll do something. I'll get help. I'll go see a therapist. I will do whatever the fuck you want as long as you leave me alone,” I muttered and yanked my arm away from her. I started marching out of the damn bakery.

”Rachel, where are you going?” mom exclaimed after me and I stopped walking. I could feel everyone staring at me but I didn't care.

”Home. You've all made it very clear that I need help and I don't want to be in a place
surrounded by people that think I'm insane,” I exclaimed.

”One second she's fine, the next she's out of her mind.” It was Becky, talking to my mom.

I flipped her off and marched out of the place.

I ran to my car and got in, just as Jimmy reached me. He appeared out of nowhere.

”What the fuck, Rachel?” he exclaimed.

”I'm leaving.”

”Fine. But don't come back. I don't want to see you anymore. Not until you've figured out what to do with yourself. You're sick, you need help,” he muttered. It was the meanest thing he had ever said to me.

But it was also very true.