That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs

I was sitting at an airport alone.

I had nothing but my suitcase, passport and money with me. I was looking at all the busy people walking around me and realizing that I was finally completely relaxed. There was no hurry. I could, for once, forget about everything that was going on in my life and focus on myself.

When I had left home, I'd left a note on the kitchen table. Jimmy would find it and know where I was going and why. He would know that I had to do it for myself. And he would be okay. He wouldn't, in the end, be mad at me or anything. He would be just fine. He and the baby, both, that is.

Everything would be just fine.

But where was I going? I was going to Australia. I was going as far away as possible (well, okay, not as far away as possible but far enough). I was going to a place where I knew no one and no one knew me. I could lay on the beach all day and get drunk every night. I could do whatever I wanted to without thinking about anyone or anything else. For once, it was all about me.

I had left my phone and computer home. No one could reach me and I couldn't reach anyone, either. And I was perfectly fine with that. Maybe, though, someone would get mad at me. Probably mom. She would be worried and afraid and angry and sad. But she would get over it, wouldn't she?

And Jimmy... I could possibly be going home to divorce papers.

As I sat on the plane, I caught myself smiling like an idiot. But I was really happy. I could get some alone time. I could spend time with the person that I loved the most. And by that I meant myself. Because everyone, in the end, loved themselves the most.

-

When I got to Australia, I fell in love with the place immediately. Everything was so beautiful, the weather was more than amazing and the people were really nice.

I got to my hotel and went up to my room. I sat down on the bed and sighed.

Now what?

I decided to get some sleep before going to the beach.

And when I found myself walking on the beach and the sun was shining, I was really happy. I forgot about everything and wasn't even myself anymore.

I was just a girl – a woman – who was walking on the most wonderful beach I had ever seen.

-

As days went by, I felt myself getting more and more relaxed. I had met some really lovely people while being in Australia. I had even made a few friends. There was this guy, Danny, and I had met him at a bar the other night. He, and his girlfriend, had turned out to be really nice. They'd shown me the city. It had been very lovely.

But... In the end, I couldn't be as carefree as I wanted to be.

I had started to worry about all kinds of things. For example, I didn't have a phone and I couldn't call anyone. So of course I had started to miss my family and friends. And I was pretty sure that they were all really worried about me, not knowing where I was and who I was with.

Of course I was a bit afraid that Jimmy would leave me and end our marriage. He could dump me and never talk to me again. After all, I hadn't been acting like a good wife.

And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go back home and just be with him. We belonged together, I was sure about that, and it didn't feel good to be away from my other half.

It was a Monday night when I realized that I had to find a phone and I had to call Jimmy. I just had to hear his voice. I was missing him so much.

So, not knowing where else to start looking for a phone, I walked to Danny's place and rang the doorbell. God, I hoped he was home and willing to let me call Jimmy.

A moment later the guy, Danny, opened the door. He had a big smile on his face as he looked at me.

”Hey, what's going on? Is everything okay?” he asked immediately.

”Yes. No. I don't know. Listen, could you please let me borrow your phone? I really need to call my husband. I'll pay you and everything,” I said.

He nodded and let me in. I followed him into the kitchen.

It didn't even hit me that I was in a house and knew nothing about its owner.

I didn't really know Danny. All I knew about him was that he was a nice guy that I had met in a bar and he had a very nice girlfriend. But somehow, and call me stupid if you want to, I trusted him very much. In fact, I was pretty sure that I trusted every single Australian person I met.

Danny handed me his phone and I dialed Jimmy's number. I sat down on a chair and waited for a moment.

It took him ages to pick up. And when he did, he didn't sound happy at all.

”Hello?” he muttered into the phone.

”Jimmy? It's, uh, Rachel,” I mumbled.

There was a long pause.

”What the fuck is going on? One day, I have a wife and everything's under control. And then, suddenly, my fucking wife is gone. And where the fuck did she go? To Australia! To the other side of the world!” he exclaimed.

”But I left you a note. You should know that I had to do this. I needed this, I needed to be alone. I don't want you to be mad at me. I want you to understand that I'm not okay,” I mumbled.

Aww, shucks. I thought I was about to cry. I sniffled and fought back the tears.

”Well why are you calling me now? If it's so easy to walk away from me, from your child, then it must be easy to forget about us, too.” His voice really cold.

”Why are you being like that to me?”

”Because I'm honestly getting tired of this. Just decide what you want. Don't play with me or anyone else anymore. God knows what you're doing right now or who you're with. I don't know you anymore. I'm not even sure if I want to,” he said.

”But we belong together. We're meant to be. You're the one for me,” I said with a sigh.

”Yeah but what if that's not true anymore?”

”Why are you suddenly so mean to me?”

”Rachel, I don't want people that are always down around me. I'm a happy guy, I want to be around happy people.”

”You can't break up with me just because I'm not happy,” I mumbled.

”But I can break up with you because of the way you act. You're not yourself and I've waited for that to change. But I'm sure you can't and won't go back to being yourself any time soon,” he said, ”And I'm ending this call now. Bye.”

I put the phone on the table and stared out of the window for a moment. Danny didn't say anything. In fact, he must've been really confused.

I was really confused, too, to be honest with you. Had Jimmy just split up with me? Had he ended our marriage? Fucking hell, had he left me via the phone?

I would most likely go home to nothing but divorce papers.