That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs

Another ten days later, I still hadn't talked to Jimmy. I was still very much angry at him and I hadn't let him see the kid, either. Fortunately Mason was still a baby and had really no idea what was going on around him.

I had to tell mom about Jimmy cheating on me because she kept pushing it and practically forced me to tell her what had happened at the dinner at Brian and Michelle's house. And I'd finally told her and my god, she wasn't happy at all. She pretty much wanted to kill Jimmy. She was angrier at him than I was.

”Mom, I'm not even hungry anymore. I feel like throwing up,” I mumbled and pushed back another plate of chocolate cake.

She'd been trying to make a chubby girl again.

We were sitting in the bakery an hour after she'd closed the place.

The baby was asleep in mom's arms.

”I'm just worried that you don't eat enough,” she said with a shrug. Then she looked around the place and sighed deeply.

”What's wrong?” I asked after a moment.

”I'm going to have to sell this place,” she said quietly.

”What? Mom, you can't sell the bakery. You love this place, it's your baby!”

”The Robinsons won this fight, honey. As much as I hate to see this go, we need some money and we won't get any out of this. Besides, we need to buy you an apartment since you're not with Jimmy anymore,” she said.

”What do you mean, we? It's my job to find a place for myself.”

”I'm your mother. I'm taking care of you until the day I die,” she said and flashed a smile. I rolled my eyes.

”That's nice but – ” I was cut off by a knock on the door.

I looked at mom before walking to the door and opening it.

I was surprised when I saw Matt and Zacky standing outside in darkness.

”Uh, hi, guys,” I said, ”What's going on?”

”It's Jimmy. He got into a fight at the bar and... And... He's a bit upset,” Matt said with a sigh.

”What? Where is he?” I asked and couldn't help but get worried, ”Is he okay?”

”Well, yeah, he's okay... The other guy – not so much. We took him back to Gates' place,” Zacky said and ruffled his hair.

”Well... What do you want me to do?” I asked quietly.

”He won't listen to any of us. He's wasted. He's freaking out and keeps shouting some nasty stuff at everyone,” Matt said and laughed.

”Stuff like what?”

”Some things he'd... Like to do to you in the bedroom. I'm sure you could knock some sense into him and force him to calm down if you came with us to Brian's,” Zacky said.

”I don't know, guys... I have to get home and take care of the kid and...” I just really didn't want to see Jimmy.

”Oh, come on. Your mom can take care of the kid, right Mrs. Bloom?” Zacky exclaimed and looked at mom who had been listening to our conversation.

”Yes, of course,” she said and nodded.

”I guess I can come with you, then...”

When we got to Brian's place, I was really nervous. I felt like throwing up. I didn't want to face Jimmy, definitely not when he was drunk.

As we walked into the house, I could already hear some shouting. I was being led into a guest room and when we opened the door, I saw Jimmy who was standing in front of the window, smoking a cigarette.

He was blowing the smoke out of the window and turned to look at me.

”What is she doing here?” he muttered to Brian who was standing next to me and pointed at me.

”She's here to make you shut the fuck up. Michelle needs some sleep and you need to calm down,” Brian told him sternly.

”Why is there blood on your face, Jimmy?” I asked carefully.

”He got into a fight at the bar,” Brian told me.

”Yeah, I got into a fight! And in case you're now wondering if I slept with some other woman – I didn't. So there's no need for you to get mad at me again!” he exclaimed.

”I don't care about what you do and who you do it with. That's your own business if you want to end our marriage like this,” I told him.

”Oh, so you're going to dump me?”

”I didn't say that.”

”I know what you meant, Rachel!”

”You're drunk and you need to calm down. You're acting like a teenager even though you're a grown-up and a father,” I said calmly.

”A father to a child that you won't even let me see, you little bitch!”

”Jimmy!” Brian exclaimed, ”No need to call anyone a bitch, okay?”

”Do you think this is easy for me? Do you? You're making my whole life miserable by acting like this. I've got nothing left to lose,” Jimmy muttered and looked at me like he was disgusted by me.

”How is any of this my fault?”

”I've tried to apolgize and tell you how sorry I am but what do you do? You won't even talk to me! I tried to save this fucking relationship, you didn't!”

”If you honestly wanted to save this relationship, you wouldn't have gone and slept with someone else behind my back in the first place!” I exclaimed.

”I can't take it back, okay?”

”I know that. I know that you didn't try to hurt me. I know you really care about me but you have to understand that I don't know how to trust you anymore. I don't know what to do,” I said.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I couldn't read the look on his face. He got down on the bed, his eyes rolled back and he passed out, just like that.

I looked at him for a while in silence. Then Brian cleared his throat.

”Do you need a ride back home? I can't drive because I had a few beers but – ”

”No, it's okay. I can stay here with Jimmy if that's okay,” I said quietly, ”You know, to make sure that he's okay and... Yeah.”

”Yeah, that's fine. He will apologize for calling you a bitch in the morning, Rach. You can count on me on that,” Brian said and patted my shoulder.

”I know. Thanks, Brian.”

”For what?”

”For taking care of him and making sure he didn't hurt himself,” I said with a sad smile.

”He's like my brother. I'm sure he would do the same to me any day,” he said before leaving us alone in the guestroom.

I carefully closed the door and turned down the lights as I got on the bed with Jimmy. I laid down after kissing his cheek gently. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of people whispering around me. I could feel Jimmy's arms around and my back against his chest as he held me tightly. Every now and then he kissed the top of my head.

I was too tired to open my eyes so I just listened to the conversation he was having with someone.

”You messed up pretty bad, dude.” It was Brian. His voice was really serious.

”Oh, I know. I just really don't know what to do,” Jimmy whispered.

I realized that they were trying not to wake me up.

”Rachel's going to forgive you, that's for sure. But you have to make sure that she understands that you won't ever do that again. She needs to know that she's the one, the only one that you want.”

”She does know that. She just... She's so damn stubborn and won't let me get away with this just like that,” Jimmy said. He sighed deeply.

”Man, you have to figure out what to do,” Brian said, ”Michelle's making breakfast. See you in the kitchen when Rachel wakes up.”

I waited a few minutes before opening my eyes. I cleared my throat quietly, letting Jimmy know that I was awake.

”Rach – ”

”Don't say anything. I don't want to hear what you have to say,” I cut him off.

”Well I just want to say thanks for staying the night with me,” he said quietly.

I sat up and ruffled my hair before letting out a yawn.

”Yeah, whatever,” I mumbled.

”Can't we even try to get along?” he asked me.

”Sure we can. I just don't know if I want to,” I said and looked at his face.

”Well, either way, I want to see Mason,” he said.

”Can I ask you one thing?”

”Yeah?”

”Where was Mason when you slept with that woman?” I asked and he went quiet.

”That has nothing to do with this, Rach.”

”Right, okay. I think I'm going home now. I already wasted last night on you,” I muttered and stood up.

”I didn't mean any of this to happen. I want you back. I want us to be a family again,” he said quietly and got up from the bed.

”It's too late for that. I think... I think I want a divorce,” I said quietly.

”What?” He looked shocked.

”I think it's for the best. I don't understand how we got to this point but now that we're here, what else can I do?” I bit my lip.

As I finally said the words, that I wanted to have a divorce, it really hit me. My eyes got teary and I had to do my best to keep myself together.

”It's not what you want,” he said quietly and shook his head.

”You don't know what I want,” I mumbled and sniffled, ”You don't know me at all.”

I tried to wipe my eyes as the tears started streaming down my face. Jimmy took a few steps towards me and tried to wrap me into his arms but I furiously tried to push him away.

”Don't touch me!” I exclaimed hysterically through my sobs and tried my best to push him away.

”Hey, hey!” Jimmy whispered and got a hold of my hands.

He held them tightly against his chest as he pulled me close. I buried my face in his shirt and cried loudly. As he finally let go of my hands, I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to be as close to him as possible.

Being there, with him, was the only thing that could calm me down and make me feel safe.

Jimmy sat down on the bed and pulled me on to his lap, holding me tightly the whole time.

”I know this is hard,” he whispered into my ear while rubbing my back with his hand.

I nodded against his neck and took a deep breath in. I found it hard to stop crying so I kept sobbing for at least ten more minutes.

My eyes were red and swollen as I finally managed to stop crying.

”Do you want breakfast?” Jimmy mumbled against my head and kissed my forehead.

I shrugged as he stood up, pushing me up to my feet with him.

He wiped my wet cheeks and tamed my messy hair before grabbing my hand and leading me into the kitchen.

Brian and Michelle were eating breakfast as we walked in.

They both froze and looked at me.

I held on to Jimmy's hand tightly as he pulled out a chair for me.

Instead of letting me sit down on it, he sat down and pulled me on to his lap.

”Are you okay, Rachel?” Michelle asked me. I sniffled.

”She's just hungry,” Jimmy said quickly.

I was handed a cup of coffee. I took it with shaking hands and lifted the cup up to my lips. The hot coffee felt good as it went down my throat.

After we'd eaten breakfast in silence, I got a ride home from Jimmy.

Not much was said as he drove but when we reached the house, he opened his mouth.

”I'm going to give you some time if that's what you need,” he said and looked at me.

I nodded.

”Thanks.”

”Rach?”

”I love you,” he said.

”Uh... Thanks.”