Sequel: So Far Away ›
That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs
You've Had Some Cake
The rest of the day went by as mom and I baked some more apple pies (well, she did as I watched and ate some cake... Which was okay, by the way, because I had to eat for two, now)
At eight, in the morning, she opened the bakery and a few old ladies came over and drank some tea with us. We all chatted about the Robinson's Bakery and what a piece of crap it was. I mean, we all agreed on that. At least we had a few loyal customers.
Rebecca came to see us, too, and my dad joined us a little while later. The first thing he said to me was, ”Wow, look at you! You've definitely had some cake!”
I mean, seriously, I was NOT fat. And why yes, I had had some cake. No, that didn't mean I was any chubbier than I had been before.
”Aren't you all so polite to me!” I exclaimed and faked an ugly smile. Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his side with a laugh.
”You're right. We should be blaming Jimmy for knocking you up,” he said.
”You won't be joking when you have to look after the baby because I've gained so much weight because of your stupid jokes that I can't even move anymore!”
”Becky? Did you hear what happened this morning?” mom asked my sister who shook her head.
”What?”
”Rachel got into a fight with the Robinsons!”
And then she told her the whole story and then they laughed at me. My own damn family made jokes about me that weren't even funny and laughed at me. I mean, come on... I was standing right there. Couldn't they at least do it when I wasn't around?
Then, after dad and Becky had left, mom and I went out to have lunch. She only let me eat salad because I'd apparently had ”too much cake for my own good” and then she started telling me how important it was to eat healthy stuff.
By the end of the day I was exhausted because I had heard so many lame jokes about my chubby figure. Mom drove me home and asked if I wanted her to sleep over but I told her that I'd be okay. I did love my mom and everything but you really couldn't spend the night with her. First of all, she woke up at like four in the morning and went to bed at nine. On top of that she woke up about thirty times a night and went to the kitchen to get something to drink or watched TV or listened to some really horrible music. One time she even went into Jimmy's drum room and started playing the drums, just because ”she wanted to get a hold of his drum sticks” and do a good ”banging”.
On Tuesday I had my checkup with my doctor, Dr. Berry. She told me some stuff about the pregnancy and some very interesting things. Like, in a few weeks, I would have the best sex in my entire life because of the pregnancy. Apparently women who are pregnant feel like it's the best sex ever when they do it while they're knocked up. I only hoped Jimmy would be home by then or I would have to find someone else to have my ”best sex ever” with. I also found out the sex of the baby which shocked me quite a bit. It was a boy. I had a little penis inside of me, 24/7. Okay, that sounded really wrong...
She told me that I would also want to eat all the time. And I would gain a lot of weight and get a lot more chubbier. Oh god, the lame jokes would never end...
I'd been on the phone with Jimmy a few times, already, but I hadn't told him that we were going to have a boy. He would freak out, though, because we all had thought it would be a girl. That's what the women in my family always got. Girls and girls only. My grandmother and mother had only had girls. There were only girls in my family so it shocked me that I was going to have a boy!
One night I was talking on the phone with Jimmy as I already laid in the bed. The TV was on but I was focused on the phone conversation I was having.
”I'm not used to sleeping alone,” I told him, ”And this bed feels really big without you here.”
”And this bunk feels really small, with or without you,” he said and chuckled.
”I really wish you were here,” I mumbled with a sigh.
I looked down as my hand was resting on my stomach. Man, it was really growing fast. No wonder everyone told me what a fatass I was.
”I know you do. But it's only a few weeks and then I'll be back,” he told me.
”I know. And when you come back, prepare yourself for some awesome sex,” I said and giggled a bit.
”Oh, I always do that when I come back from tour. I know you've missed me so much that for the next 24 hours you won't let go of me,” he said.
Really? Was I really like that?
”Oh, just come back already. It's boring without you here!”
”I know. But what can I do? It's boring everywhere I'm not.”
”That was lame, Jimmy,” I said and sighed. I really missed him.
”So, how was the checkup? You never told me how it went,” he said, getting more serious again.
”Well... They just told me some stuff about the baby...”
”Come on, Rach. I know you well enough to say that you're not telling me what you want to. I'm sure you're full of excitement and can't wait to tell me every little detail.”
Damn. He knew me well.
”Well... Okay, you're right. It's a boy!”
”It's a boy? Really? No fucking way! That's awesome, baby!” he exclaimed,
”Wait a sec!”
Then I heard him shout something and everyone cheered in the background. He must've told the boys the news.
”That's really awesome,” he said then into the phone. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. I let out a happy giggle.
”It is,” I agreed.
”Listen, we're going to have a few beers with the guys to celebrate this.”
”Oh, okay then. Have fun!”
”I love you, okay?”
”I love you, too. I'll talk to you later!”
As soon as I'd put my phone away, it rang again. I picked it up and answered. It was mom.
”Hello?”
”Hey Rachel, it's mom here!”
”I know it's you, mom.”
”Oh, right, the caller ID. Anyway, Becky and I were wondering if you'd like to come over and have a girl's night!”
”But I'm already in bed, ready to go to sleep!” I said.
”Oh, that won't matter. We're in front of your house. Look out of the window!”
Jesus, what? I sat up on the bed and looked out of the window. I saw my mom and sister standing in front of the house, looking up at the bedroom window and waving. Mom was holding the phone against her ear with a grin.
”You two are the biggest creeps I know!” I exclaimed and closed the curtains quickly.
”Come on, Rach, let us in! It's freezing out here!” It was Becky, shouting into mom's phone.
”Fine, whatever!”
I marched downstairs and opened the front door for them. They both walked in, closing the door after them.
”Ooh, your belly's quite big already!” mom exclaimed and started rubbing my stomach with her cold hands. I pushed her hands away, annoyed, as I followed Becky into the livingroom.
”So, what should we do?” Becky asked as she sat down on the couch. She pulled out a small bottle of vodka from her purse and my eyes flew wide open.
”Rebecca! Mom! You came here only to drink, didn't you?”
”No, no! That's not what we're here for. Right, mom?” Becky asked.
I could tell she was having a hard time keeping a straight face.
”No, of course not!” mom exclaimed, ”We're here to have fun!”
”Oh, right, yeah, whatever,” I muttered and rolled my eyes, ”Come on, I was going to sleep. I need sleep. I'm pregnant!”
”Oh, we can tell,” Becky said and winked at me.
”What's that supposed to mean?”
”Nothing, nothing! Rachel, sit down. We want to know all about your checkup!” mom exclaimed and pushed me down onto the couch.
So I told them all about the checkup. And when I told them that the baby was a boy, they freaked out. Mom started crying and Becky started laughing.
”A boy! Seriously? You have a tiny penis inside of you!” she exclaimed between her giggles.
”That's exactly what I thought when I heard!” I exclaimed with my wide eyes.
”Rachel... I'm so, so happy for you and Jimmy...” mom mumbled and sniffled. She wiped her eyes and tried to smile.
”Aww, thanks mom,” I said and patted her shoulder.
”My two girls! You've become such big, beautiful women. I feel very lucky to have you two as my daughters!” mom exclaimed.
Oh, wow, now she was getting really emotional. And as a matter of fact, I was getting too. My eyes started to get blurry as mom pulled me and Becky into a group hug. In less than a second we were all sobbing like little bitches.
”Shall we eat something?” mom asked finally after we'd pulled ourselves together, ”I could make something for us!”
”Thanks mom but no thanks. You're good at baking but when it comes to cooking, you suck,” Becky said and took a sip of her vodka. She grimaced as she put the bottle away.
”Give me some of that,” mom said and grabbed the bottle. She drank some and a grimace found its way to her face as well.
”This is terrible!” she exclaimed and wiped her mouth.
”Let's just get pizza, okay?” I asked and everyone seemed to agree with me.
At eight, in the morning, she opened the bakery and a few old ladies came over and drank some tea with us. We all chatted about the Robinson's Bakery and what a piece of crap it was. I mean, we all agreed on that. At least we had a few loyal customers.
Rebecca came to see us, too, and my dad joined us a little while later. The first thing he said to me was, ”Wow, look at you! You've definitely had some cake!”
I mean, seriously, I was NOT fat. And why yes, I had had some cake. No, that didn't mean I was any chubbier than I had been before.
”Aren't you all so polite to me!” I exclaimed and faked an ugly smile. Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his side with a laugh.
”You're right. We should be blaming Jimmy for knocking you up,” he said.
”You won't be joking when you have to look after the baby because I've gained so much weight because of your stupid jokes that I can't even move anymore!”
”Becky? Did you hear what happened this morning?” mom asked my sister who shook her head.
”What?”
”Rachel got into a fight with the Robinsons!”
And then she told her the whole story and then they laughed at me. My own damn family made jokes about me that weren't even funny and laughed at me. I mean, come on... I was standing right there. Couldn't they at least do it when I wasn't around?
Then, after dad and Becky had left, mom and I went out to have lunch. She only let me eat salad because I'd apparently had ”too much cake for my own good” and then she started telling me how important it was to eat healthy stuff.
By the end of the day I was exhausted because I had heard so many lame jokes about my chubby figure. Mom drove me home and asked if I wanted her to sleep over but I told her that I'd be okay. I did love my mom and everything but you really couldn't spend the night with her. First of all, she woke up at like four in the morning and went to bed at nine. On top of that she woke up about thirty times a night and went to the kitchen to get something to drink or watched TV or listened to some really horrible music. One time she even went into Jimmy's drum room and started playing the drums, just because ”she wanted to get a hold of his drum sticks” and do a good ”banging”.
On Tuesday I had my checkup with my doctor, Dr. Berry. She told me some stuff about the pregnancy and some very interesting things. Like, in a few weeks, I would have the best sex in my entire life because of the pregnancy. Apparently women who are pregnant feel like it's the best sex ever when they do it while they're knocked up. I only hoped Jimmy would be home by then or I would have to find someone else to have my ”best sex ever” with. I also found out the sex of the baby which shocked me quite a bit. It was a boy. I had a little penis inside of me, 24/7. Okay, that sounded really wrong...
She told me that I would also want to eat all the time. And I would gain a lot of weight and get a lot more chubbier. Oh god, the lame jokes would never end...
I'd been on the phone with Jimmy a few times, already, but I hadn't told him that we were going to have a boy. He would freak out, though, because we all had thought it would be a girl. That's what the women in my family always got. Girls and girls only. My grandmother and mother had only had girls. There were only girls in my family so it shocked me that I was going to have a boy!
One night I was talking on the phone with Jimmy as I already laid in the bed. The TV was on but I was focused on the phone conversation I was having.
”I'm not used to sleeping alone,” I told him, ”And this bed feels really big without you here.”
”And this bunk feels really small, with or without you,” he said and chuckled.
”I really wish you were here,” I mumbled with a sigh.
I looked down as my hand was resting on my stomach. Man, it was really growing fast. No wonder everyone told me what a fatass I was.
”I know you do. But it's only a few weeks and then I'll be back,” he told me.
”I know. And when you come back, prepare yourself for some awesome sex,” I said and giggled a bit.
”Oh, I always do that when I come back from tour. I know you've missed me so much that for the next 24 hours you won't let go of me,” he said.
Really? Was I really like that?
”Oh, just come back already. It's boring without you here!”
”I know. But what can I do? It's boring everywhere I'm not.”
”That was lame, Jimmy,” I said and sighed. I really missed him.
”So, how was the checkup? You never told me how it went,” he said, getting more serious again.
”Well... They just told me some stuff about the baby...”
”Come on, Rach. I know you well enough to say that you're not telling me what you want to. I'm sure you're full of excitement and can't wait to tell me every little detail.”
Damn. He knew me well.
”Well... Okay, you're right. It's a boy!”
”It's a boy? Really? No fucking way! That's awesome, baby!” he exclaimed,
”Wait a sec!”
Then I heard him shout something and everyone cheered in the background. He must've told the boys the news.
”That's really awesome,” he said then into the phone. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. I let out a happy giggle.
”It is,” I agreed.
”Listen, we're going to have a few beers with the guys to celebrate this.”
”Oh, okay then. Have fun!”
”I love you, okay?”
”I love you, too. I'll talk to you later!”
As soon as I'd put my phone away, it rang again. I picked it up and answered. It was mom.
”Hello?”
”Hey Rachel, it's mom here!”
”I know it's you, mom.”
”Oh, right, the caller ID. Anyway, Becky and I were wondering if you'd like to come over and have a girl's night!”
”But I'm already in bed, ready to go to sleep!” I said.
”Oh, that won't matter. We're in front of your house. Look out of the window!”
Jesus, what? I sat up on the bed and looked out of the window. I saw my mom and sister standing in front of the house, looking up at the bedroom window and waving. Mom was holding the phone against her ear with a grin.
”You two are the biggest creeps I know!” I exclaimed and closed the curtains quickly.
”Come on, Rach, let us in! It's freezing out here!” It was Becky, shouting into mom's phone.
”Fine, whatever!”
I marched downstairs and opened the front door for them. They both walked in, closing the door after them.
”Ooh, your belly's quite big already!” mom exclaimed and started rubbing my stomach with her cold hands. I pushed her hands away, annoyed, as I followed Becky into the livingroom.
”So, what should we do?” Becky asked as she sat down on the couch. She pulled out a small bottle of vodka from her purse and my eyes flew wide open.
”Rebecca! Mom! You came here only to drink, didn't you?”
”No, no! That's not what we're here for. Right, mom?” Becky asked.
I could tell she was having a hard time keeping a straight face.
”No, of course not!” mom exclaimed, ”We're here to have fun!”
”Oh, right, yeah, whatever,” I muttered and rolled my eyes, ”Come on, I was going to sleep. I need sleep. I'm pregnant!”
”Oh, we can tell,” Becky said and winked at me.
”What's that supposed to mean?”
”Nothing, nothing! Rachel, sit down. We want to know all about your checkup!” mom exclaimed and pushed me down onto the couch.
So I told them all about the checkup. And when I told them that the baby was a boy, they freaked out. Mom started crying and Becky started laughing.
”A boy! Seriously? You have a tiny penis inside of you!” she exclaimed between her giggles.
”That's exactly what I thought when I heard!” I exclaimed with my wide eyes.
”Rachel... I'm so, so happy for you and Jimmy...” mom mumbled and sniffled. She wiped her eyes and tried to smile.
”Aww, thanks mom,” I said and patted her shoulder.
”My two girls! You've become such big, beautiful women. I feel very lucky to have you two as my daughters!” mom exclaimed.
Oh, wow, now she was getting really emotional. And as a matter of fact, I was getting too. My eyes started to get blurry as mom pulled me and Becky into a group hug. In less than a second we were all sobbing like little bitches.
”Shall we eat something?” mom asked finally after we'd pulled ourselves together, ”I could make something for us!”
”Thanks mom but no thanks. You're good at baking but when it comes to cooking, you suck,” Becky said and took a sip of her vodka. She grimaced as she put the bottle away.
”Give me some of that,” mom said and grabbed the bottle. She drank some and a grimace found its way to her face as well.
”This is terrible!” she exclaimed and wiped her mouth.
”Let's just get pizza, okay?” I asked and everyone seemed to agree with me.