Sweetest Downfall

Birds swopped down around the two of us, but the completely avoided the blond girl next to me. They took deep, valiant dives, biding their time. Eventually the birds just drove straight toward my body, drilling their sharp beaks into my skin. I scream out in excruciating pain.

It took me several minutes to realize that there weren't any birds to begin with, none that my mind hadn't conjured anyway. I looked up around me, the sky a constant blue in a hazy world. I quickly realized that this was probably the last time I had been conscious in I don't even know how long. I seized the moment and tried to get some progress down. I moved my leg, just a fraction of an inch, and howled out. Pain worse than third degree burns shot up both my legs and into my arms and even my neck. The bites from the piranhas had left large, red wounds along my legs withe the meat exposed. The trackerjackers, however, had left large welts on various parts of my body, with the poison slowly seeping into my system and killing me.

I sighed and tried to move my arms- no luck with the left arm at all. I could still feel that it was burning, but at the same time, the venom of the trackerjackers had numbed it to a point of uselessness. My right arm, luckily for me, had a few welts but was fine enough to move. I clutched the pendant at my neck. My father had actually sent me something. And not just anything, but the necklace his father had handed down to him. My thumb smooth over the crest. And though I couldn't see it now, I could see it in my mind from many years of gazing upon it from my father's neck. I smiled as the cool, raised metal of the Seeris Stag.

Next to me, a low rumble sounded from Shay's gut. She was moaning, writhing in pain- more pain than I was. She'd rescued me from the water, pulled me to shore. She's saved my life. I felt suddenly closer to her, as if I could trust her. She may have hated my guts, but she wouldn't have left me to die. "You awake?" I growled out, my throat severely dry. We must have been asleep for quite some time, I feel so dehydrated.

"Barely," she coughed.

"You... Saved me," I said.

"Don't get used to it. I need you alive." She said, though I wasn't sure she was telling the truth. I groaned.

"Shay?"

"What?"

"Can I tell you something," I rolled my head away from her slowly, trying not to scream out again, "Just to clear my conscience before I die?"

"Go for it, I guess," she whimpered.

"I never meant to kill Herring. It wasn't my intention. I was trying to protect -for some strange reason- Presh and... I'd only meant to knock him out. I know that this is all I've trained for but I wasn't ready to kill," I said. It was the truth. However, my mind did wander to a few moments later when I'd stabbed that girl through the spine to demonstrate my strength. Was I really a killer? Ruthless to the core? "I didn't even want to start training for the Games. My Dad always came home a bragged about his boss's son and how he had been training for the games. So, in hopes of making my father proud, I started training..."

"Emilyn," Shay said in awe. I just closed my eyes.

"And I have to say that my biggest fear isn't dying here in this arena. I was fully prepared to let you kill me if it came to it. My biggest fear," I paused and squeezed the Seeris Stag between my fingers.

"Emilyn," Shay whispered, her voice hushed and urgent. "Emilyn."

"My biggest fear is that Nolan will grow up to become a monster like me, all trying to impress him. Trying to be better than I ever was. I'm scared he'll be consumed with what he thinks of him, like I did."

I sighed, "I'm scared of him becoming me."

Shay just whimpered, and called out my name one more time before I faded away from consciousness. "Emilyn."



Nolan leaned over me, blocking the sun from my view. We were still in the arena, but somehow, my nine-year old brother didn't look so young any more. He had to be at least 15 here, or even older. He grinned and beamed down at me.

"He keeps saying how disappointed in you he is," he smirked. "Dad hates you."

"He doesn't," I spat back, but my brother's words stung more than my wounds did.

"Oh he does," Nolan just shakes his head down at me. He picked up my sword and hovers it over me. "Keeps telling mom how he should beat her for giving him such a pathetic son. He regrets you ever being born."

He slammed the sword down against my heart, hammering in my chest.

I screamed out again, springing back into consciousness. I sit up fast, my breathing hard. I regret it immediately. Flames shoot through my back and arms, circling back down to my legs. I scream again, and again. Shay just lays there. She doesn't speak, just directors her chin in front of us. Suddenly, I realized why she'd been saying my name earlier. She'd been trying to get my attention. Sitting before us were two capsules, one with a metallic four on it and the other with a silvery one on it. I narrowed my eyes and made my decision. What ever was in these capsules... My mentor knew I need it, her's too. I gritted my teeth and pulled myself toward the gifts. It hurt more than walking through Hell would, but I did it.

I seized the capsule with the four on it and twisted it open. Inside was a medium-sized container that had a label I couldn't read very well. I strained my eyes and saw that it was wound salve. I almost cried in relief. I scrambled and grabbed the one with my District's number on it, twisted it open, and found two things; a small tube of ointment for trackerjacker stings and a note. I picked up the note, and with much difficulty, I read it to myself:

I've pulled a lot of strings to keep you alive. Let's not screw it up, okay?

Win this thing,
Emmer

I grinned. I was about to open up both the salve and the ointment, when I heard Shay moan again, silently suffering. I could wait. Grabbing both of the capsules and what they contained, I crawled painfully over to Shay. I opened the salve first, spread some on my hands and pressed on to her raw leg. Her flesh was torn away and I could feel the warmth of her meat inside. She let out a loud shriek and I prayed no other tributes were near or we really would be dead. After a second she relaxed and I contented to spread it on her legs, and then her arms. Afterward, I put small dots of ointment on her stings, and soon the swelling seemed to have gone down a little bit. She moaned in sweet relief.

"Why didn't you put it on you first?"

"You saved me; I saved you. We're even, right?"

"Not exactly," she muttered. She didn't move, she just laid there. I imagined her body still felt like hell, but I knew that the salve and ointment would work their magic.

"It's a start."

"Thank you," Shay muttered after a long pause. She looked tired with big purple rings under her eyes. I couldn't possibly look any better. I nodded as if to say, Don't mention it. Without a word, she then took my place and rubbed salve and ointment on my wounds. It hurt at first, but when she finished, I felt new and refreshed. I ached, but I could feel my left arm again and I was grateful. We felt pretty sore but we managed to find strength to crawl off into the woods and build a quick make-shift shelter out of sticks and leaves. It was completely obvious but it was better than being out in the open.

We sipped slowly from our canteens and ate what little grilled meat we had left, saving the soup for tomorrow. Shay and I eventually came to a mutual decision that we would rest here for as long as we could but we had to get moving before nightfall tomorrow, if we wanted to make it to the Cornucopia. We still weren't exactly sure what we'd find there, but it was worth a shot anyway.

Shay and I ate slowly and talked even less than we ever had. We rested more, on and off, for the rest of the day while the other kept watch. Finally, sometime before sunset, the loud shot of a cannon sounded and I woke up frantically from my sleep, making sure Shay was still alive. It was a sudden panic, and I felt that if she died... Maybe these Games weren't worth winning. I promised myself I wouldn't be the one to kill her, but now that's changed; I won't let her die. She's worth protecting. It's not that I was in love with her, but she just had that sweet, innocent quality that you just had to protect.

At nightfall, the anthem played and they showed the dead tribute in the sky. It was the boy from District 11. I looked over at Shay who had tears in the edges of her eyes. I scooted over and she wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into my chest. I cautiously stroked her back. Maybe I was mistaken, but through her whimpers, I heard the name, "Ari."

Shay straightened up after a moment, rolled over and went to sleep. I decided to keep watch, not that she'd given me a choice anyway. Mentally, I counted down all the faces that had appeared in the sky since we'd gotten here. We'd been here a long time; two weeks, give or take, and so far twenty tributes had lost there lives. That left four of us. Me, the District One boy. Shay, the girl from District Four. And then, Micah and his partner, from District Two.

I leaned my head back and sighed deeply. Maybe I didn't have to win the Games to make my father proud. Maybe I could do what feels right to me, and that'd make him proud. And even if it didn't, I decided that I didn't care anymore. What I do from here on out, I do for me. I touched the Seeris Stag at my neck and suddenly remember something. I pulled Cyrus's token from my pocket and rolled the stone over in my hand.

He wanted it destroyed. As a testament to myself, as if to say I will only do what I want, this was the last thing I would ever do just because someone asked it of me. I set the stone on the ground and picked up a larger rock nearby and brought it down on the pebble. The pebble broke and shattered into tiny pieces.

I closed my eyes, just resting my eyes, but listening for any movements in the world around us. I put my hand on my chest and I whispered out into the night.

"To the dead tributes of the 56th Hunger Games; may you find peace."

Thankfully, as I said it, I knew I no longer had to worry about myself and how I felt in these Games anymore. I didn't have to worry about my father. I could do anything I wanted. And with that thought, I had never felt so at peace with the world or myself.