Close Your Eyes
0007.
*Trigger Warning - Does include self-harm.*
A week went by, and nothing changed. Charlie refused to go to school on Monday, so Brian and Rose decided to allow her to stay home from school for one week, but now she has to go back because exams are coming up and she can’t afford to miss her classes. Tomorrow she has to wake up at six, get ready, and head off to school, and she isn’t looking forward to it.
Charlie didn’t do much the past week. She slept a lot during the day because the nights were filled with tossing and turning and being awakened constantly by horrible nightmares, and she didn’t eat all that much, and the only time she left her room was to use the bathroom, get food, and take Lucas to the beach in the evenings. Sometimes Jack would join them as well.
Since Rose had to work during the days and Lucas had to go to school, Brian was there with her all day. Most of the time one of the guys would come over and hang out with him, keeping him company while he kept an eye on Charlie. Everyone was worried about her, especially Brian. He checked on her every hour or so, making sure that not only was she okay but she was alive. It scared Brian to think about, but because of the state of depression Charlie seemed to be in, he feared that one day she would give up and end her own life.
Although she hadn’t agreed or taken the news lightly, she did have her first therapy session scheduled for after school on Tuesday, and she hated that her parents were making her go see some doctor to help her with her problems. It seemed stupid to her. She didn’t need anyone to help her get past what happened. She was doing just fine on her own, or so she thought.
“Angel?” Brian knocked on the door, opening it half away to peek inside.
Charlie ran a hand through her wavy locks of hair and turned to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot again, telling him that she’d been crying recently, and she just seemed plain sad. Brian frowned at the mere sight of his daughter.
“What’s up, Dad?” She asked.
“Matt and Jimmy brought over some take-out for lunch if you’re hungry,” He smiled, “It’s Chinese, your favorite.”
Charlie nodded her head and rose off the bed to her feet. “Sweet,” She murmured, “I wondered when you were going to feed me today,” She smirked as she walked towards him, letting him know it was a joke.
Brian rolled his eyes, “Come on, food is gonna get cold.”
Folding her arms across her chest, Charlie followed her dad downstairs. Jimmy and Matt were sitting around the kitchen table, pigging out on different Chinese food dishes. Charlie grabbed a soda for her and Brian and then sat down beside Jimmy.
“Got your favorite. Sweet and sour chicken,” Matt smiled, handing her a closed up box of the delicious food.
“Oh my God,” Charlie licked over her lips, “Thanks Uncle Matt, I haven’t had this in forever.”
“It’s no problem.”
Matt, Jimmy, and Brian became engulfed in a conversation as Charlie sat with her legs pressed firmly against chest while she ate her food. She was nervous about tomorrow, especially since she had been informed that Lawrence was out on bail until their trial in six weeks. He wasn’t a loud back at school nor was he allowed near Charlie, but that didn’t make her any less nervous or afraid of him. To be honest, she was afraid he was going to come after her. He told her not to tell, threatened her that if she did he would find a way to kill her, but she tried not to think about that. She trusted that she was safe in her home with her dad and her uncles as her protection.
“So how do you think school will go tomorrow?” Brian changed the conversation, moving his eyes from Matt and Jimmy over to Charlie.
She shrugged her shoulders as she swallowed a bite of her food, “I’m not sure.”
“Everyone knows, don’t they?” Matt asked.
“Yes,” She nodded, “Jack told me that Lawrence was going around saying it’s all lie earlier this week, but he’s no longer aloud back at school. Mr. Wilbur said he didn’t want to risk any other girls being attacked and assaulted by him.”
“That’s good,” Jimmy smiled at her, “You can go back to school without being harassed.”
“Thank God for that,” Brian said, “I’m glad to know I don’t have to kick some teenager’s asses for bothering you about this entire thing.”
Charlie rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her food. She knew that either way she was going to be harassed when she returned to school. There was no changing that. Some had taken her side and other’s had taken Lawrence’s side. However, Charlie had her friends and Jack by her side, and they were backing her up one hundred percent. She was going to ignore everyone’s comments and stares and whispers as best as she could, because allowing them to get to her would be ridiculous.
Drawing in a deep breath, Charlie set her fork down for a moment. She suddenly felt sick as her mind started to think about that night. She could feel his heavy weight on top of her, nearly crushing her as he pressed his lips against hers forcefully. Placing her hand over her mouth, her face paled. Forgetting all about her food, she rose from the chair and rushed out of the kitchen to the nearest bathroom in the hallway.
Brian called after her, cursing as he stood from the table and headed after her. But he was too late. The bathroom door slammed shut and locked before Charlie fell to her knees in front of the white toilet, puking up what little bit of her lunch she had actually eaten into the clean toilet bowl.
When it was all over, she lied on the floor in the tears, ignoring Brian who was standing outside the door, begging her to let him inside to help, but Charlie knew he really couldn’t help her. He couldn’t make the memories disappear or her thoughts leave her alone. He could only comfort her, which she didn’t even want at that point.
Charlie sat up, wiping away her tears as she breathed heavily. With shaky legs, she slowly rose from the floor and stepped over to the bathroom counter. She began to go through the medicine cabinet and the drawers searching for something, anything to take away the panic in her chest that was building up, nearly leaving her breathless.
She stopped suddenly at the sight of a pair of scissors. She knew they were new and had barely been touched since she was in the guest bathroom. Picking them up hesitantly, she pushed apart the two sharp blades before running her finger across the sharp edge. Swallowing hard, she didn’t give it a second thought before she shoved her sweatshirt sleeve up and dug the blade into her skin, sliding it across the pale smooth surface until she could see her own blood. And then suddenly she was calm, her heavy breath going back to normal as she leaned against the bathroom counter in shock, not believing what she had just done to herself.
It was silent all around her as she stared at her arm, blood dripping down onto the sink. There were no more thoughts or memories bothering her, and she couldn't feel Lawrence on top of her anymore. All she could focus on was the pain of the cut she had just given herself. It was all that mattered at that moment.
A week went by, and nothing changed. Charlie refused to go to school on Monday, so Brian and Rose decided to allow her to stay home from school for one week, but now she has to go back because exams are coming up and she can’t afford to miss her classes. Tomorrow she has to wake up at six, get ready, and head off to school, and she isn’t looking forward to it.
Charlie didn’t do much the past week. She slept a lot during the day because the nights were filled with tossing and turning and being awakened constantly by horrible nightmares, and she didn’t eat all that much, and the only time she left her room was to use the bathroom, get food, and take Lucas to the beach in the evenings. Sometimes Jack would join them as well.
Since Rose had to work during the days and Lucas had to go to school, Brian was there with her all day. Most of the time one of the guys would come over and hang out with him, keeping him company while he kept an eye on Charlie. Everyone was worried about her, especially Brian. He checked on her every hour or so, making sure that not only was she okay but she was alive. It scared Brian to think about, but because of the state of depression Charlie seemed to be in, he feared that one day she would give up and end her own life.
Although she hadn’t agreed or taken the news lightly, she did have her first therapy session scheduled for after school on Tuesday, and she hated that her parents were making her go see some doctor to help her with her problems. It seemed stupid to her. She didn’t need anyone to help her get past what happened. She was doing just fine on her own, or so she thought.
“Angel?” Brian knocked on the door, opening it half away to peek inside.
Charlie ran a hand through her wavy locks of hair and turned to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot again, telling him that she’d been crying recently, and she just seemed plain sad. Brian frowned at the mere sight of his daughter.
“What’s up, Dad?” She asked.
“Matt and Jimmy brought over some take-out for lunch if you’re hungry,” He smiled, “It’s Chinese, your favorite.”
Charlie nodded her head and rose off the bed to her feet. “Sweet,” She murmured, “I wondered when you were going to feed me today,” She smirked as she walked towards him, letting him know it was a joke.
Brian rolled his eyes, “Come on, food is gonna get cold.”
Folding her arms across her chest, Charlie followed her dad downstairs. Jimmy and Matt were sitting around the kitchen table, pigging out on different Chinese food dishes. Charlie grabbed a soda for her and Brian and then sat down beside Jimmy.
“Got your favorite. Sweet and sour chicken,” Matt smiled, handing her a closed up box of the delicious food.
“Oh my God,” Charlie licked over her lips, “Thanks Uncle Matt, I haven’t had this in forever.”
“It’s no problem.”
Matt, Jimmy, and Brian became engulfed in a conversation as Charlie sat with her legs pressed firmly against chest while she ate her food. She was nervous about tomorrow, especially since she had been informed that Lawrence was out on bail until their trial in six weeks. He wasn’t a loud back at school nor was he allowed near Charlie, but that didn’t make her any less nervous or afraid of him. To be honest, she was afraid he was going to come after her. He told her not to tell, threatened her that if she did he would find a way to kill her, but she tried not to think about that. She trusted that she was safe in her home with her dad and her uncles as her protection.
“So how do you think school will go tomorrow?” Brian changed the conversation, moving his eyes from Matt and Jimmy over to Charlie.
She shrugged her shoulders as she swallowed a bite of her food, “I’m not sure.”
“Everyone knows, don’t they?” Matt asked.
“Yes,” She nodded, “Jack told me that Lawrence was going around saying it’s all lie earlier this week, but he’s no longer aloud back at school. Mr. Wilbur said he didn’t want to risk any other girls being attacked and assaulted by him.”
“That’s good,” Jimmy smiled at her, “You can go back to school without being harassed.”
“Thank God for that,” Brian said, “I’m glad to know I don’t have to kick some teenager’s asses for bothering you about this entire thing.”
Charlie rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her food. She knew that either way she was going to be harassed when she returned to school. There was no changing that. Some had taken her side and other’s had taken Lawrence’s side. However, Charlie had her friends and Jack by her side, and they were backing her up one hundred percent. She was going to ignore everyone’s comments and stares and whispers as best as she could, because allowing them to get to her would be ridiculous.
Drawing in a deep breath, Charlie set her fork down for a moment. She suddenly felt sick as her mind started to think about that night. She could feel his heavy weight on top of her, nearly crushing her as he pressed his lips against hers forcefully. Placing her hand over her mouth, her face paled. Forgetting all about her food, she rose from the chair and rushed out of the kitchen to the nearest bathroom in the hallway.
Brian called after her, cursing as he stood from the table and headed after her. But he was too late. The bathroom door slammed shut and locked before Charlie fell to her knees in front of the white toilet, puking up what little bit of her lunch she had actually eaten into the clean toilet bowl.
When it was all over, she lied on the floor in the tears, ignoring Brian who was standing outside the door, begging her to let him inside to help, but Charlie knew he really couldn’t help her. He couldn’t make the memories disappear or her thoughts leave her alone. He could only comfort her, which she didn’t even want at that point.
Charlie sat up, wiping away her tears as she breathed heavily. With shaky legs, she slowly rose from the floor and stepped over to the bathroom counter. She began to go through the medicine cabinet and the drawers searching for something, anything to take away the panic in her chest that was building up, nearly leaving her breathless.
She stopped suddenly at the sight of a pair of scissors. She knew they were new and had barely been touched since she was in the guest bathroom. Picking them up hesitantly, she pushed apart the two sharp blades before running her finger across the sharp edge. Swallowing hard, she didn’t give it a second thought before she shoved her sweatshirt sleeve up and dug the blade into her skin, sliding it across the pale smooth surface until she could see her own blood. And then suddenly she was calm, her heavy breath going back to normal as she leaned against the bathroom counter in shock, not believing what she had just done to herself.
It was silent all around her as she stared at her arm, blood dripping down onto the sink. There were no more thoughts or memories bothering her, and she couldn't feel Lawrence on top of her anymore. All she could focus on was the pain of the cut she had just given herself. It was all that mattered at that moment.