Just Like Heaven

The following day went on as usual; I went to work and at lunch, I was surprised to see Mikey in the lobby again. He looked pretty anxious, I could see it in his body. He had those dark sunglasses on again.

"Hey," I slugged his arm gently, "what's up?"

His body relaxed, "Lunch. I just got back from that laser place." He grimaced. 

I took his sunglasses, again, and put them on, "How is it? Does it hurt?"

He nodded as we exited the building, "Hurts worse than the tattoo itself." He pulled the sleeve of his long sleeve t-shirt up.

Mikey showed me the clear bandage on his wrist. His tattoo was scabby, it was lighter, faded and I felt bad for him. "Does it hurt now?"

"Yeah, I put some of the lotion they gave me on it. I'll feel better though, I can handle it."

I kissed his cheek and took hold of his hand, smoothing my thumb over his knuckles, "I'm sorry babe."

He chuckled, "I'm fine, Morgan."

"I know, but I still feel bad. I hate knowing you're in pain." 

He looked down at me, "Thanks."

I nodded, letting him lead the way.

We stopped at the park behind my job. We bought pizza from the parlor across the street, and sat on the bench. There were people walking, some having lunch too, and some walking their dogs.

A woman with German Shepard came jogging by. I smiled at this, the dog was pretty cute. I never had a dog before.

"I miss my dog." Mikey said absentmindedly; this made me look over at him.

"Oh, what happened? did they die?" I asked.

He shook his head, he was looking down, "She took my baby...Piggy."

I frowned, "She took your dog? Why?"

He shrugged, he didn't look at me, and I took the sunglasses off. I lifted his chin with my finger and put them back on his face. I could tell that these sunglasses made Mikey feel better; as if he was facing the world without the world knowing it.

"I'm sorry, Mikey." I put my pizza beside me and wrapped my arm around his middle.

He tilted his head, resting it on my own head, "Don't feel sorry for me."

"I don't feel sorry, I'm just concerned. I like you."

He chuckled, "I like you, too. Too much, in fact...it scares me sometimes."

"Why?"

He put his pizza at his side, "Because I don't want to lose you. I get paranoid, like I said. I can't help but wonder what will happen if you and me broke up."

I hated that Mikey felt this way. He shouldn't have to, but I know he isn't just a regular man. Mikey has been through a lot, and he was still going through things. Maybe a relationship with me was too much. I didn't want to lose him either, I think I'm in love with him.

"Don't dwell on it, I know you can't help it, but let's just enjoy ourselves." I encouraged this, to make him feel better.

"You're good to me, Morgan. You're good for me, too." Mikey lifted his head and put a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

I was surprised when I felt his lips on mine, I gladly welcomed Mikey. My eyes shut as he kissed me deeper, his hands cupped my jaw, crawling to the back of my head, pulling my deeper. I put my hands on his outer thighs, scooting closer to him.

When we pulled away, he still nipped at my lips and brushed his fingertips around my neck. He sat back, and took my hands in his, then, "You make me feel crazy inside."

I blushed, "You should feel my heart."

He put a hand to my chest, feeling my beating heart, "Damn."

I giggled, "I never, ever met a man like you, Mikey. I like the way you make me feel."

"You're telling me." He bit his lip, "But, I got to tell you something, Morgan, and I need you to be completely honest with me."

"Of course."

"Will you promise to never lie to me? Never deceive me?"

I furrowed my brows, "I'd never lie to you, Mikey. I promise."

"If you ever get tired of me, just tell me, alright?"

I frowned, "Mikey, I--"

He stopped me, "Just, please, tell me."

I was at a loss for words, but I nodded, "I promise."

"If you don't want me, just tell me."

I felt emotion wash over me, "I...I'll tell you."

He forced a smile, "Thank you."

My boy had really bad insecurities. I knew Mikey was afraid of losing me, but this was something different. He was afraid that I would leave him, that I would never truly want him. I wanted Mikey, more so than I wanted any man. I wanted him to see this, I want him to know that I was going to be there for him.

"I'll always be there for you." I told him once we got back to my building, "I care about you, Mikey."

He looked down at me, lifting his sunglasses up, "I know you do, and I know you will. I'm just covering my bases...just in case."

I kissed him goodbye, refusing to think about it anymore. But, I couldn't. I thought about Mikey not trusting me, and it annoyed me, more so than anything else.

I mean, I should be the one worried about trusting him. He's secretive and quiet. Maybe he would leave me, rather than the other way around.

It bothered me. I didn't want it to be an issue, but how could it not? I wanted Mikey, and if this was the only way, so be it. 


After work, I saw him outside, as usual, but he was on his phone. He looked angry, even though he was wearing those fucking sunglasses. He was having a heated conversation, and I didn't want to bother him.

I waved as I walked past, and he frowned slightly, and waved back. He didn't smile, he didn't even attempt to make any friendly gesture. I didn't really bother with it, I mean, he was angry, and he was on the phone.

I got up to my apartment, and met with my brother and nephew. We all did what we usually did; goof off and eat. They only had a few days left before they returned to Chicago, and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with them.

Even when I did, I thought of Mikey. That's when I thought, maybe things were moving too fast. I hate myself for thinking this way, but I can't help it; I'm the girl that picks at her relationship as soon as she's in one. I wanted perfection, because I never had it. Still, I didn't care what or who Mikey was/is, as long as he's good to me.

I didn't have to think much about it, because my family kept my busy. I was almost freaked out that I went two whole days without seeing Mikey. 

Two fucking days. He didn't call or come by, and I didn't see him when I came home. My mind had been distracted with family, and Paula asking for me to come out that Friday. She didn't even bring up Mikey.

I thought maybe I was in the Twilight Zone, and I had made Mikey up. No one talked about him.

Finally, the morning my brother and nephew prepared to leave, I figured I would swing by his place after I dropped them off. Brendan could see my anxiety as I drove to LAX.

"What's wrong?" Brendan poked my cheek.

I smiled, "I'm worried 'bout Mikey."

Brendan nodded, "I noticed he hasn't been around...I was gonna ask, but I know how sensitive you are about that stuff."

"What stuff?" I asked.

"Relationship stuff. And, your boyfriend is a mega star or some shit."

I laughed softly, "Okay, Brendan. I'm okay, just fine, I just worry about him."

"I get it," he said, "just don't want you to stress out."

"Thanks, but I am not stressing."

"Good." Brendan said happily.

I saw Brendan and Max off, giving them big hugs, and empty promises to visit. I would try and visit, as usual, for the holidays I had off work, but I wasn't thinking that far ahead. I wanted to see Mikey, see of he was alright.

I drove straight home, and thought about what I would say. I couldn't think of anything but asking where the hell has he been. I, more so, wanted to kiss him and tell him those three big words.

"I love you."

I wondered if he would freak out. I was freaking out just thinking about it. My stomach knotted, tensed and cursed me.

Once I was home, my knees grew wobbly as I walked to his apartment. I could smell coffee, I knew he was home. I got to the door and knocked, my whole body shook a bit.

I hate being nervous.