Just Like Heaven

I wanted to laugh, I really did. I wanted to burst into hysterics and laugh. Roll around on the floor laugh, because that's what he gets.

I snorted, stifling laughter, and smiling, "That sucks."

Gerard frowned, "It's not funny, Morgan."

"Actually, it isn't," I laughed, "It's hilarious! He left me for her, oh my god." I tossed my head back slightly and laughed some more.

Gerard touched my shoulder, making me stop my hysterics and giggle; "He left her again...for good."

I rolled my eyes, smirking, "And I'm holding my breath." 

He dropped his hand, "Look, I think this'll be good. You guys can get back together--"

"Hold your horses there, Wolverine, I do not want to get back together with him." I semi-lied. I wanted to shit all over Mikey because what he did to me, not talk about whether or not we'd get back together.

"That's right, you got a new man," He snorted right back at me, "As Paula says."

"I don't have a new man," I exasperated, "Seth is a good friend who wants to be there for my son when he's born. We aren't together."

"You're having a little boy." Gerard didn't ask, he stated this in disbelief.

"Yeah, I am. I haven't thought about what I'm naming him, but I am not gonna give him the Way name."

Gerard frowned again, "Why not? Mikey has a right--"

"Oh, yeah, he can shove his "rights" up his ass. Remember, it only takes $500 to pretend this never happened." 

Gerard sighed heavily, "Mikey is good, y'know. He needs you, I'm afraid he's gonna--"

I cut him off, "He doesn't need me, Gerard, and besides, didn't you just think I was playing him?" 

"I was wrong, Mikey needs you."

"No, he doesn't, goodbye." I turned to leave, but he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Will you at least talk to him? He started drinking again."

I turned back, "He's drinking?" My instinct to take care of Mikey took over.

"Yeah, and he isn't taking his pills. He's living with me, right across town. I know if you see him, it'll at least snap him out of it."

As much as I wanted to say yes, I shook my head, "This is gonna sound really bitchy...but, no. I won't help him, I already helped and if he wants to destroy himself, let him. He's a grown man, he can obviously make his own decisions."

"He's my brother, I won't ever let him destroy himself," Gerard looked angry, "You used to be his everything, you know that? Mikey talks about you all the time, he said that he wished you kept that baby, and you know what? He's gonna be ecstatic when he finds out you did keep it."

"I still ain't gonna talk to him." I spoke stubbornly.

"Will you let him see your baby?" Gerard was pleading.

I sighed, "Yeah, okay... I may be an asshole, but I'm not vindictive."

Gerard exhaled happily, "Thank you, Morgan. I'll be sure to bring something for my nephew."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure."

I said bye to Gerard, he slipped his phone number into the pocket of my hoodie, smirking at me -again. I rolled my eyes and returned to the party. My mind wasn't in the right set as everyone around me smiled and gushed at my growing belly. All I could think about was Mikey; goddammit. 

Why did Gerard have to show up? Why did Paula have to go and snap at him? Why did I have to agree to let Mikey back into my life, to be in my child's life?

I tried to pay attention to my friends, who were all kind enough to get me baby gifts. I got a lot of baby onesies, and teddy bears and cute little toys. The biggest gift was from Brendan, and Max; they bought me this wonderful furnished crib; it was a crystal blue color.

I thanked everyone, saying goodbye by the end of the night. My mind was elsewhere, I couldn't concentrate. I kissed Seth goodnight, promising to see him later on, then I laid back on the couch, sighing heavily.

"M, I'm sorry about--"

I stopped Paula, not bothering to open my eyes, "It's okay, I'm just really sleepy."

"Get to bed, then, honey," my mom came in after, "I'll help you, and I'll make you some tea."

I nodded reluctantly, and let them help me into my room. I wasn't massively big, but my back hurt, and I was in short stature, so it was hard to walk. I sat on my bed, thanking them, and watched as my mom set all the baby things in the crib across my room. (I had decided that I would turn my guest room into my son's bedroom once he was older.)

My mom sat at my feet, taking my slip on slippers off, "What did Gerard say? Paula filled me in about him."

I sighed, struggling to sit up, but made it, "First, he accused me of wanting money from Mikey, and then turns it around, saying that Mikey needs me."

"Did you tell him what his brother said?" My mom furrowed her brows.

"Of course I did. He says Mikey is destroying himself..." I went on to tell her everything; about Alicia lying, about his drinking and his bipolar disorder. I started to tear up during it; "I hate myself for loving him as much as I do."

My mom patted my shoulder, "Don't hate yourself, your feelings are strong, because you did take care of him for a little while. You know all of his faults and his strengths."

"Would it be bad if I just took him back?" I asked meekly.

My mom nodded her head, "Yes, you should make him work to earn your love and trust again. Starting with this baby, make him understand that it's gonna take more than love to raise this baby and to be friendly with you."

"I'm gonna...talk to him, is that alright?"

"Yeah, you guys need to discuss this baby." My mom kissed my head and then left the room.

I reached into my pocket, feeling the loose piece of paper and looked over the numbers. I grabbed my phone and dialed it; Gerard answered almost immediately.

"I knew you would call." He said in a smug tone.

"Shut up, tell Mikey to be at my house tomorrow, at noon. My family is gonna be out and we can talk."

"Will do."

I hung up then, and put my phone on my bedside table. I rolled over to sleep, feeling heavy with anticipation and anxiety.


The next morning, everything went on as usual; mom cooked breakfast and we all ate. I was hesitant to tell them about Mikey, but I had to. If he was gonna start coming around for the baby, they all had to know.

"Um, I'm gonna see Mikey today." I said, looking down at my plate to avoid odd glances.

"Oh, that's good." Mom said.

I looked up, Brendan looked mad, while Max and Paula had curious looks. "Why?" Brendan asked.

"To talk about the baby."

"That's stupid, he didn't even want the baby--"

I cut Brendan off, "I know, that's why we're gonna talk about this, alright? I'm not marrying the guy, Jesus."

"I think that's a bad idea." Paula spoke up, "I agree with Brendan, y'know, I think Mikey is a jerk."

I sighed, "Again, I am not going to marry him," I pronounced each word, "we're just gonna talk."

"When?" Max asked, avoiding all anger brewing in the middle.

"When you guys go shopping, and when Paula goes into work."

No one said anything else, but my mom, "Don't be so mad," she told Brendan and Paula, "be happy that Morgan is making an effort to fix this."

"He's gonna fuck her over again." Brendan spat angrily

"Yo, calm down!" I snapped at him, "I told you, I'm not going to get back together with him! We are going to talk."

"Fine, whatever." Brendan grumbled.

All I could do was shake my head and continue to eat.