Just Like Heaven

I was picking at my plate of food while I watched TV. My family and Paula had already gone and I was waiting on Mikey. It was right at 12:30, my door bell rang. 

Yes, my anxiety hit the roof. I put my food down and struggled to get up. It took a good 15 seconds before I got up. I grumbled to myself and went to the door. I opened it, with shaking hands, and saw him there.

Mikey looked like he had been through hell. His hair was still dark, but you could see his light brown hair coming in. He was wearing sunglasses, his cheeks looked slightly hollow, almost like he had lost weight.

He had his hands hidden behind his back, "Uh...hi." He said softly.

"Hi. Come in." I said awkwardly.

I stepped aside and let Mikey in. I closed the door, he stood towards the couch; "Wow, your place is nice."

"Thanks." I licked my lips, "My dad left me some money and I bought this house."

"He left you money?" He asked.

"My dad died." I told him.

"Oh...shit, I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. Come on, let's sit down." I led him to the couch and sat, he sat near me and I really wanted to kick him in his shin.

He put his hands out suddenly, "Uh, I bought this for you. Well...the baby," he showed me a little teddy bear with a blue t-shirt.

I smiled, "That's very nice of you, thanks." I took it, feeling how soft it was, "It's soft."

"It should be, it cost me $25." He took off his sunglasses; you could see how tired he looked.

I frowned slightly, bringing my hand up to his cheek, "Mikey, what's wrong?"

"I fucked up." He said softly, "You were right, Morgan."

I smirked, bringing my hand down, "I know I was."

"You can say I told you so as many times as you want, because I know you're right. I don't even deserve your forgiveness." Mikey rambled quickly, he rubbed his face for a moment.

"Look, I'm not gonna say I told you so, I just want to talk about what you plan to do to stay clean and sober."

He sighed, "I'll stay sober, now that I know that I'm gonna...be a dad." A smile twitched at his lips, "I didn't think it would happen...y'know, after Alicia lied to me."

I sighed, not wanting to hear about her; "Mikey, are you gonna go back to your AA meetings and take your medication?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I am, I promise. I'm gonna be there for you, and help you."

"I don't need help, I only want you to see our son, and to be there for him."

"Yeah, I will." He smiled slightly, "What're you planning on naming him?"

I played with the teddy bear in my hands, "I dunno...I haven't thought about it."

"When are you due?"

"End of May."

Mikey rubbed his neck, "Y'know, I'm really sorry about everything."

"I know you are." I smirked again.

He licked his lips, "Do you forgive me?"

"No."

His shoulders slumped in a defeated manner, "I get it. I understand, I wouldn't forgive me either."

"Exactly." I spoke stubbornly -yet again.

He rubbed his neck, "So, is like...the baby okay and stuff? I don't know the dynamics..."

"The baby is fine, he's growing at the right pace. He's big, as you can see, he kicks a lot and he's sitting right on my bladder."

Mikey smiled, "Causing trouble already?"

"Of course he is, he is your son after all." I smirked at him.

Mikey laughed softly, "Wow. I can't believe it." He stared at my stomach, like Max did usually, "Can I touch it?"

I shrugged, "Go ahead, everyone likes to feel it. I warn you, once your hand is right there, he's gonna kick you."

Mikey licked his lips and placed his hand on my belly. Within a second, the baby kick, I groaned softly, "I felt it, sorry." Mikey apologized quickly.

"It's okay, I'm use to it." 

He felt around my stomach, "This is so weird, I've always wanted to do this."

"You got your wish." 

Mikey caught eyes with me, "Morgan, I'm sorry for what I did, I really am, and I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to apologize. I was so fucked up when I..." he tilted his head slightly.

"Forced me to have sex with you?" I almost spat at him.

"Yeah...I'm sorry."

I nodded, "I understand, but it's gonna take a while for me to forgive you."

"I know." He rubbed his neck, "I appreciate you even giving me a thought. I had a feeling that maybe you'd yell at me and then tell me to go away, and that you hate me."

I bit at my lip, playing with the arms of the teddy bear, "No...I don't think I could hate you."

"You're amazing, Morgan. I don't deserve a chance." 

I nodded, looking at him, "Yes you do. You deserve to be happy, no matter how badly you've treated me. I know I may seem like I'm being so easy on you, but all I want is for you to get back on your feet and be a good dad to our son."

"Thanks." He licked his lips, "Do...uh, you still...love me?" He asked quietly.

I nodded, "Yes, I do, but you have to work to earn my trust."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll do whatever you need me to, M."

"Thank you, Mikey."

"I'll do anything you want, M, believe me."

I saw the determination in his gloomy, hazel eyes. I smiled at him, wanting to hug him, but I held back. 

"I still have to pick a name for this baby," I told him, "so, give me your ideas."

Mikey grinned, "Gerard is hoping we'll name the baby after him."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure."

"I really don't know," Mikey shrugged, "I'm cool with whatever you want to call him."

I bit at my lip, "Well...how do you feel about the name Noah?"


Mikey and I talked continuously for an hour about what we'd call the baby. We hadn't settled firmly on a middle name, but we would call our baby Noah.

Mikey relaxed around me, telling me about his woes and how he was destroying himself because he felt that he had lost everything. He told me that he didn't ever want to go back to Jersey; but I knew that he would have to eventually. He also said he wanted to return to his band, but after the baby was born. I supported that, I wanted him to do what made him happy, and the way he spoke about their music and the travels, I knew that made him the happiest. I wanted him to happy, to get on track.

By the time he left, I felt such a heavy weight off my shoulders. I felt that I had, had a great break through. Me and Mikey weren't together, but I knew we were gonna get back there -hopefully.

When my family got back, they were looking around for Mikey. I snorted; "He left already."

Max sat beside me on the couch, "So, what happened?"

"We talked, and we picked out a name."

My mom sat in the chair across from the couch, "Really? What's you pick?" She set her shopping bags at her feet; Brendan frowned, he sat in the other chair.

"Noah." I told them.

"Are you guys back together?" Brendan asked, still frowning.

"No. We just talked, geez."

"What is your problem?" Max asked suddenly.

I chuckled, "Maxie, your dad is just acting childish because he cares."

Brendan rolled his eyes, "I'm not the bad guy, I'm just looking out for you."

"I know you are, and I appreciate it, but I'm a big girl, B."

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Just, let me do this." I stressed softly to him.

"I'm trying, but it's hard."

"If I need you, I'll let you know."

Brendan grumbled, but nodded. I knew he didn't understand, but he was going to have to.