Just Like Heaven

Mikey wasn't there when my water broke. The minute it happened, I was in shock, really. I mean, I had been feeling tight pains in my back, but I put it off as nothing. I had kissed Mikey's cheek as he left to meet up with Gerard, and then I went to do laundry. Then, I was putting my clothes in the dryer when it happened.

Sploosh

My mom was washing dishes, she had heard it. The entire world seemed to stop and grow silent. Then she spoke, "Morgan?"

"I think I peed." I said slowly.

I heard her walk towards the laundry room. I stood there stupidly, holding a wet t-shirt, my pajama shorts soaked. She cupped her mouth, awing.

"Oh, sweetie." She cooed, "C'mon, let's get you to the hospital."

"But I can't go without Mikey." I whimpered to her.

"I'll call him," she said, "but we have to go, are you in pain?"

I shook my head, "No."

My mom didn't say anything, she just went to the hall closet, grabbed my overnight bag then took my hand. She drove my car, then grabbed my cell phone and called Mikey. He wasn't answering, then my labor pains kicked in, big time.

I gripped the seat, my teeth nearly ripped my bottom lip off. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, moaning between clenched lip and teeth. I was feeling heavy pressure on my pelvis and my lower back. More than anything, I felt the baby actually coming out. No joke, he was ready, while we were in the car, while on the LA freeway, the stupid, fucking heavy traffic.

"Mom, the baby is coming out!" I started to freak out, "He's coming, I can feel it!"

My mom looked at me, panicked. The stupid fucking traffic stalled, "Morgan, are you serious or are you joking?"

"I'm serious! Oh my god!" I quickly pulled my pajama bottoms down and my underwear.

It was sick and sad and scary. I opened my legs, I saw a mixture of water and blood. I saw my baby's head. I started to scream, because of the pain, but mostly because I could actually see my baby being born. In my car. In LA traffic, hot as hell.

"Stay calm, Morgan!" My mom shouted over my screaming, "Here," she pulled a towel from my overnight bag, "pull him out."

I screamed, still, grabbed the towel and pulled at the baby's head. I was scared, "Like this?" I whimpered, tears poured from my face.

My mom didn't respond, she just put the car in park. She quickly got out the car and ran over to my side, opened the door and telling me to turn sideways.

The driver in the car next to us saw my lady parts. He saw my son being born. And he had a camera phone. 

I couldn't look at him, I looked down at my mom. She was delivering my baby in LA traffic. I was screaming, crying, slightly embarrassed. 

But, then, it was over and it was eerily quiet. I exasperated, feeling heavy, relieved, but then a new fear swept through me. My baby wasn't crying. He wasn't making a peep.

"Mom, is he okay?" I asked in a heavy voice.

My mom didnt look up at me. She had the embilical cord and was unwrapping it from his neck. I began to cry, my baby was blue. He was blue, my mom began performing CPR on him. I put my palms to my face and began to sob.

A soft baby cry came a second after. And then my mom cried, "I got him to breathe, Morgan! He's okay!"

I opened my eyes and looked at my son, crying loudly. My heart filled with relief, with joy. My mom wrapped him in a towel and handed him to me, her clothes were covered in a bit if blood, but she didn't care. She grabbed my phone and called 911, all I did was look down at my baby, watching him with joy that he was crying. So happy that he was alive.


In the hospital, I didn't let the nurses or doctors take Noah. They cleaned us up, they took his weight, height, checked his breathing, but after, I held him, I wouldn't let him go. The nurses tried, but I refused. I didn't want him to go anywhere, I waited months for him, and I almost lost him. He wasn't going anywhere.

While in my arms, Noah had stopped crying and was quietly sleeping now. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, he just wailed and then fell asleep. My mom took pictures of him, she called Gerard and Mikey, but neither answered. She then called Brendan and Maxie and Paula. Paula was on her way, I really couldn't wait for Mikey to show.

Thank God, it didn't take long. He had actually saw the news about a woman giving birth on the 101 and some guy showed his foggy camera phone video of me screaming. He immediately came rushing to the hospital, he and Gerard...and, surprisingly, his mother.

But, only Mikey came in. My mom left us alone, getting herself coffee. Mikey looked tired, exhausted, sweaty. He also looked scared shitless.

"Holy fuck." were the first words out of his mouth, "Oh shit. M, I'm so sorry."

All I could do was smile. I waved him over, "Come meet Noah."

He walked over to us, slowly. He swallowed hard and stood beside me, looking over at the bundle I held. He exhaled heavily, "God, Morgan...he's beautiful."

I nodded, "I know. You want to hold him?"

Mikey looked nervous, then nodded slowly. But, first, he pulled a chair over and then took him. He held him gingerly, brittlely like one false move and Noah would shatter. He exhaled slowly, again, and sat down, all the while looking down at him. I think I could see his heart hammer underneath his Friday the 13th t-shirt.

"He's so amazing. I can't even believe he's real." Mikey spoke softly, "What color are his eyes?" He asked without looking at me.

"He hasn't opened his eyes yet."

Mikey gently traced his finger over Noah's chubby little cheeks, and his forehead, his itty bitty nose and then his lips. I couldn't stop smiling, I think my cheeks were sore, but I couldn't drop my smile. I never been this happy before.

"My mom is here." He said to me a few minutes later, he still held Noah, "She and I talked, and she's okay with us being together. She wants to see Noah."

I didn't know how to respond. I had been so happy, but then, I was thrusted into bitterness. I shook my head at him, "Why?"

"Well, M, he is her grandson."

"But, Mikey, she doesn't like me. Noah is part of me, if she hates me, she hates Noah."

"She doesn't hate you, she just...she likes Alicia a lot more."

I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. Still, I understood. If my mom and I were still estranged I would've let her see Noah. I nodded then, "Fine. But, she says anything bad about him, it's over. Got that?"

Mikey nodded happily; he stood up and handed Noah to me again, the left. I cradled my baby, kissing his forehead, protecting him.