Just Like Heaven

Late at night, I had Mikey climb into the hospital bed with me. He looked really tired, as was I, and I wanted him beside me. He laid his head back on the pillow we shared a sighed.

"Tired?" I asked, resting my head against his shoulder.

"Worrying gets your blood pumping." He said softly.

"Worry about what?"

"About you and Noah. I almost pissed myself earlier, when I heard you had him." His Adam's apple bobbed, he shut his eyes.

"My mom was worried too...so was I." I never told him about the umbilical cord being wrapped around Noah's neck, because it wasn't a big deal anymore; just something we thought was scary.

"I'm happy now," he added quietly, he opened his eyes, "Gerard...he wants me to join the guys for a show in Las Vegas in a few weeks."

"Are you ready?"

He smiled crookedly at me, "That's it? You ain't gonna ask anymore?"

I shrugged, "Well, what did you expect me to ask?"

"Like, why I'm leaving so soon?" 

"Why are you?"

"Faster I get on stage, faster I'll get back into the habit...Gerard says," Mikey grumbled.

"You don't want to?" I looked up at him.

He sighed in a heavy, frustrated tone, "Yes and no...I do, but, y'know...Noah's here now and I don't wanna leave."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Mikey looked like he was stuck in a rut.

"Y'know, I'm going to go back to work, eventually." I said, trying to make him feel better.

"It's not the same. You'll only be gone a few hours, I'll be states and sometimes countries away from him."

"Did you talk about this with Gerard?"

He nodded, "Yeah, he's taking a month or so off, after these upcoming shows, to finish another issue of his comic. Then...we're just going to keep on going. I don't know if I can do it sober."

I frowned, "You're going to have to." I told him sternly, "No way in hell I'm going to let you drink and stuff unnecessary shit down your throat to cope."

Mikey gave a little smile then, "Thanks."

"Don't thank me, I'm telling you the truth."

He sighed softly, "Love you."

I smiled and pecked his cheek, "I love you, too, Mikey."

He wrapped his arms around me as I forced myself to fall asleep. My body was exhausted and I needed sleep. I had the longest day of my life. I can only imagine that my life would get even more hectic once Noah was home.


Noah slept real quiet in his crib, once we brought him home. All I wanted to do was hold him, look at him and kiss him. Mikey was just as obsessed as I was, we just loved to look at him.

He was a little bitty mixture of us. 

We love looking after him, because he wasn't fussy, which is what concerned me a bit. My mom, she looked him over, "He's fine, honey. You were the same, although, Brendan screamed his head off, you're lucky."

Noah just liked to look at things, he liked to touch. Mikey sat him in his lap a lot and showed him pictures and toys. What Noah liked most was anything that made a noise. 

Donna, when she came over, Noah loved her big gold earrings. He hated when she kissed him, because she left lipstick marks on his cheeks and he could feel them. He usually cried when she did, so she always removed her lipstick before kissing him goodbye.

When Gerard came over, after the second week we got him home, he sat Noah on his lap and sang and made weird noises. Noah touched his face, pulled at his nose, like Gerard was some type of device. He was trying to make Gerard make more nose; he was Noah's giant human toy.

"He likes me," Gerard laughed.

"He thinks you're a toy." Mikey told him.

Gerard just rolled his eyes, "You're just jealous."

I smirked at them, sitting next to Gerard, and leaning over to look at Noah. Noah played with Gerard's fingers, his eyes fluttered, he was growing tired. He kept a tight hold on his fingers, one in each teeny palm and began to fall fast asleep.

"He's sleepin'," Gerard whispered with a chuckle.

Noah let out a little yawn and I was sure he was asleep. Gerard tried to pull his fingers away, but Noah shot open his eyes and held them tighter, then closed his eyes. I held my mouth to keep from laughing, Gerard frowned and Mikey chuckled.

"Ha, you're stuck!" Mikey whispered to him.

"This isn't funny." He mumbled.

"He'll let go in a few minutes," I assured him, "He's a heavy sleeper."

Gerard just shook his head and laughed, "I'm gonna miss him when we leave in a few days. Right, Mikey?"

No one was smiling anymore. I furrowed my brows and looked at Mikey, "What?"

Gerard looked at me, then at Mikey, "You ain't tell her?"

Mikey scratched his head, "I was tonight." He seethed at him.

"Well, dude, I told you like, last week!"

My jaw slacked, "You knew for an entire week?"

Gerard gave a groan, "Shit."

"Yeah, shit." I spat at them, "Why not just tell me? Why wait a few days beforehand?" 

Mikey rubbed his neck, "I dunno...I was afraid to tell you."

"Why?"

"Because...I don't know!"

I sighed, turning my attention to Noah; I gently pulled his fingers from Gerard's, and I picked him up. I went off towards my bedroom, to put him in his crib; I shut the door behind me; I heard Mikey say something, but I didn't bother to ask what. I laid Noah in his crib, then I sat myself on my bed and rubbed my neck; I felt like I was gonna cry.

A few seconds passed, and I heard the door open. I didn't bother to look up, I knew it was him. He came over, sitting beside me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder; "I'm sorry."

"Damn right." I muttered.

"Morgan, don't be mad, please? I tried telling you, but it's been hard...I just been having a great time with the baby and all that, you know?" I didn't nod or anything, "I didn't wanna ruin it."

I still didn't say anything. I could feel him growing tense. 

"Yeah, I understand," I said shortly.

"C'mon," he kissed my cheek, "don't be mad."

"How can I not? You're leaving and I had to find out from your brother."

He sighed, "I'm sorry," He kissed me again, "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!"

I smiled, "Okay, okay. I forgive you." I kissed him back, "Don't do it again."

He smiled back, "I won't, I promise."

"Are you gonna miss me?"

He chuckled, "No shit. You better miss me."

"I will."

"Promise?"

I nodded, "I promise, Mikey."