Just Like Heaven

The next morning, as soon as I woke, I asked to see Eloise. The nurses weren't so agreeable, but I begged until I was practically on my knees. They finally agreed to let me go in and see her at 8 am.

The nursery she was in had a few other babies with tubes in them. They were cradled in incubators with machines, I couldn't keep my eyes from tearing up. I got to Eloise's incubator; she was the tiniest thing I had ever seen in my entire life. She was lying on her stomach, with a tiny diaper on and a tube in her nose. She looked as if she was sleeping and I looked to the nurse for permission to touch her.

The nurse nodded, letting me put my hand through the side hole of the incubator. Eloise moved just a little bit when I put my finger on the spine of her back. I hitched a cry, and held my mouth with my right palm. The tears blurred my vision, I began to strike her back gently; "When can I hold her?" I found my voice and asked the nurse.

The nurse gave me a sadden look, "We aren't sure... She's not progressing so well, Mrs. Way."

I still cried, unable to keep my emotions under lock and key. My heart hurt, it was breaking in two. Literally, I think I heard my heart stop functioning. 

When I pulled my hand from her, I sniffed, the nurse put her hand on my arm, "Dr. Price would like to see you."

I nodded, "Okay. When can I see her again?"

"In a few hours." She smiled sadly, "C'mon, Dr. Price wants to see how you're doing."

I followed the nurse out of the nursery; I kept looking back at Eloise. I mentally blew her kisses and prayed for her. 

I got back to my room, Dr. Price was waiting for me; she looked sad too. I got back in my bed and looked at her, "What's wrong with Eloise?" I asked her softly.

"She isn't as fully developed as we wish she was," Dr. Price exhaled heavily, "The prognosis doesn't look too good, Morgan."

My heart just fell from my ribcage, "What're you saying?"

"I hate to do this to you..." She trailed softly, "We believe your baby girl isn't going to make another day or so. It's getting harder and harder for her to breathe; on her own and with the tubes."

The tears poured from my eyes still. I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I couldn't speak, I wanted to die.

"Please," I finally spoke, "Please, please, do anything you can to save my baby. Please?"

Dr. Price's eyes swelled up with tears, "We're trying, Morgan, we really are."

"I appreciate it. I do, thank you."

Dr. Price nodded, wiping her eyes, "I also recommend you eat and keep up with your fluids. Your body is taking a toll on this whole event."

"I will." I told her with a small smile.

Dr. Price left soon after, then, happily, I heard my baby boy's voice. I heard Noah calling for me, then the door opened; once it was, he sprinted to my bedside.

"Mommy! Mommy! I missed you so so much!" He cried jumping up and down beside my bed.

"I missed you too, sweetness!" I smiled at him, wiping my eyes.

"Where's El-Oh-Ees? I see her?" He asked excitedly.

I couldn't answer, my heart seemed to mash up in my throat. Thankfully, Mikey arrive a second later and picked Noah up, "Not right now, buddy." He excused for me.

"Aw! Why not?" He questioned as Mikey sat him in his lap.

"She's sleeping." I told Noah.

He frowned, "'Kay. Nap is good." 

I giggled softly, "Oh, I love you, baby."

He grinned at me, "Love you mommy!"

Mikey looked over at me, "How are you?"

"I'm alright. Dr. Price told me to eat."

"Yeah, you should," Mikey said shortly, "Anything on the baby?" He asked descretely.

I found myself beginning to cry. I quickly hid it and licked my lips, "I have to tell you later."

Mikey knew it was bad, "You want me to talk to Dr. Price myself?" He asked this curiously.

"If you want." I said softly.

He nodded, "Noah, sit with Mommy and watch TV, okay?"

Noah nodded, Mikey put him in the bed beside me, Noah crawled up in the crook of my arm and nuzzled against my chest. Mikey left a moment later, Noah hummed softly as I turned the TV on and changed the channels.

"Mommy, you come home?" He asked as I flipped the channels.

"Soon." I told him.

"I miss you. I wanna see El-Oh-Ees."

"I know you do, you will soon, I promise." I kissed the top of his head, "We just need to get better."

"I drawed her a picture." He said quietly, "It's a flower."

I smiled, "I'm sure she'll love it."

"It's purple and pink and red." He giggled softly, "It's beautiful."

I laughed softly, "I bet it is."

Noah was quiet after that; he laid beside me, relaxed watching cartoons. Mikey had come back a few minutes later, with a hard, sad look on his face. My stomach again twisted; he sat beside me and tears fell from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, M." He said to me quietly, almost like a prayer.

I swallowed thickly, "I'm sorry, too, Mikey."

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. In that moment, I could only rely on my hopes and prayers. Me and Mikey, and Noah, needed it; we wanted Eloise. We needed her. She would complete our happiness.


Later in the afternoon, I was allowed to take Noah to formally meet Eloise. He was smiling the entire way into the nursery, but when he saw all the other babies, he frowned slightly.

"They sick?" He asked me with wide eyes.

"Yeah, babe. And, they're keeping Eloise company."

He smiled, "Friends?"

"Yep, these are her friends."

He held my hand, with Mikey trailing behind us, I led them to her incubator. Noah was shorter than it, but he could see her. Mikey picked him up, and knelt so he could be eye to eye with her.

Noah whispered, "She sleepin'?"

"Yeah." Mikey whispered back.

"She hear me?" He asked next.

"Yeah, babe, talk to her." I said to him.

He hummed, and kept whispering, "Hi El-Oh-Ees. I'm brother." 

I smiled happily, more tears filled my eyes.

"I love you." He leaned over and kissed the incubator, "You small."

Mikey and I laughed softly. 

"I'm No-Uh." He told her sleeping form, "Yous pretty."

My heart fluttered. Noah looked over at me; "I kiss her?"

"Not yet." I told him sadly.

"'Kay." He kissed the incubator, "See you later." He waved to her.

My chest heaved. All of this was going to kill me. I love my kids so much.